Some people think that things like soul mates only exist in the realm of romantic comedies. Others are tried and true romantics who hold out hope that their perfect match is out there waiting for them. But, can someone meet their soul mate and still have things not work out? It happened to the people in these stories.
Here are all the best stories from Reddit from people who met their soul mate but didn't end up with them. Content has been edited for clarity.
Best Friend’s Girlfriend
“I fell in love with one of my closest friend’s girlfriends. We never did anything but hang out and talk, spend whole nights drinking cheap drinks and waxing philosophical. I never let on how I felt about her, but I was attracted to her in a way I’ve never been before or since. Their relationship was pretty rocky, but they had a daughter together so they tried to stay together.
Eventually, they broke up, but the three of us remained close friends. Our kids were best friends, too, so we’d get together and hang out often. Well, one night she and I were talking and having a few drinks. She broke down and told me she had been in love with me for years, and that even if I didn’t feel the same way, she had to get it off her chest. Of course, I did feel the same way. We spent the most amazing night of my life together. After that, I told my friend what had happened. I apologized for hurting him cause I know it did. I knew it was selfish in a way, but she made me so happy, and vice versa. Maybe that was mean of me, but she was the love of my life.
We tried to make it work. We stayed together for three months and couldn’t be happier when we were together. But her ex decided that he had made a huge mistake in breaking up with her and started begging her to come back, telling her that she was ruining their family, and telling me the same thing. He was relentless. He said terrible things to both of us, all day, every day. He even got his family to contact us and tell us we couldn’t be together, that she had to go back to her family.
One day, she disappeared on me. Just stopped responding to my calls and texts. After a couple weeks, she wrote to tell me that she was going back to him for her daughter’s sake. She said she wanted to be with me for the rest of her life, but she had to do this. It destroyed me.
She is with him now, miserable and depressed. And there’s nothing I can do to change it. If that’s her decision then I have to accept it. That was years ago. She actually got a hold of me a few months back and told me she was divorcing him (they married after all this had happened). Said she knew it had been a mistake to go back to him and she still thought about me every day. We met up after texting back and forth for a week. Nothing had changed, she begged me to forgive her and I told her there was no need, I totally understand why she made that choice. We spent another wonderful night together. It was like we had never been apart. Then she found out she was pregnant again (from him) and decided she had to stay with the marriage. Again, I understood, but I told her I have to move on. I don’t know if I could take that pain a third time.”
It’s Me Or The Cult
“Everything was great with her right from the start. Fast forward a year and she joined a religious cult. She made me an ultimatum that either I repent for my sins and join the cult or lose her. I was blindsided by it. She wouldn’t even tell me the name of the cult. I still don’t know its name. Even her own mother doesn’t know its name. I once pressed ‘Sara’ for the name of the ‘church.’ She gave me a vague explanation that was similar to the explanations given by people involved in pyramid schemes. All I know is they have some following in and around Gresham, Oregon, and I’m not all too sure how many people there are in the group. I obviously lost her.
Eight years later, I recently shot a message to her mother asking how she’s doing and how ‘Sara’ has been. ‘Sara’ isn’t doing so well. Her mind is completely gone and has ceased communication with her entire family. She has also lost custody of her now teenage son.
The most messed up thing is sometimes I greatly miss her. She came into my life when I had decided to stop with the relationships after a disastrous one with a stage 10 clinger and gaslighter. There was a black, cold hole where my heart was. When ‘Sara’ came along, it was a change and I instantly felt whole around her. We became like peas and carrots. Even her son once said to me, ‘Please marry my mom!’ It tugged on the feels to hear him say that.”
The Girl He Told Her Not To Worry About
“He was perfect. Funny, charming, weird, loving. We hit it off immediately and were together for almost two years. He supported my decision to go back to school, he traveled with me, he adored me. He had a tendency to be self-defeating and would often drop things if they became too difficult, but we were each other’s best friend. He supported me and I supported him.
He switched his unit at work and met a girl who he started messaging, but he tried to keep that info from me. She became a point of tension between us multiple times but we usually worked through it. Finally, a year later, after just getting home from a trip we did for my birthday, he broke up with me. He said he didn’t like how we fight and that he didn’t think we wanted the same things in life. We spent the whole time on vacation talking about getting married and had plans to move in together in a few months.
Turned out that the night prior he lied about going to a work thing. He actually met her in the city and she told him she liked him and wanted to date him. I found this out through a mutual friend after he broke up with me. He had lied to everyone. He had been flirting with other people over texts during the last few months as well. But at the end of the day, he carried an emotional affair with someone for months. Talking to her about all of our issues and not talking to me. He flirted with her and talked to her many times about leaving me for her. Something happened between them the night before he dumped me. He told me that much but refused to say what.
I lost the love of my life to the girl he told me not to worry about. Now, she can have everything I deserve and was promised. I feel like I’m drowning in everything I could have said or done differently to keep him around. I know that everyone keeps telling me I need to get over this but I cant. He was everything I ever wanted.”
The Specter Of Girlfriend Past Was Always Between Them
“We met four years ago through a mutual friend. He was very much into the same stuff I was. Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Sci-Fi literature, heavy metal, musicals, etc.
My proudest moment with him was showing him the recording of Ian Gillan singing Gethsemane and watching his jaw drop. I loved him so much then. I introduced him to Monty Python and he showed me The Fall, which became one of my favorite TV series. We just taught each other stuff. I taught him some Swedish, he taught me some rudimentary SQL.
We just clicked in everything. Went to concerts, movies, parks, and museums. I took him to my favorite city here and showed him the historical buildings. We went to the castle near the city I’d go for summer vacations and it was like a fairytale. They had a medieval festival there, with minstrels and stuff. We sat and listened until the dead of night. Nothing ever happened, not even a kiss, but we never stopped smiling when we were together. Of course, I cared so much for him.
Then his girlfriend came back from her year abroad for school. They had decided before to put their relationship on pause for the year, but when she came back, they started over. We’re still friends. I became friends with her too, because I genuinely like her. I never felt any resentment towards either of them. I just felt empty. I still do.
I’m invited to his wedding next Saturday.”
First Dates And Going Away Parties Don’t Mix
“This was the closest I ever got to a soulmate experience. Several years ago, I was at a bar crawl. After many drinks, I locked eyes with a guy across the crowded bar. He immediately smiled and I realized I recognized him from somewhere. He started making his way across the room and once he got to me, it was an instant connection. We realized we went to college together but had never actually spoken. I have never connected with someone so quickly like I did with him. There was an instant attraction and we both knew it.
I was having a going away party the next night, as unfortunately, I was moving across the country. I invited him and he came to the party. All of my friends thought he was my boyfriend because I actually was dating someone at the time, we had already decided to break up when I moved and he didn’t come to my going away party. That night was one of the best of my life thus far. Not only did I get to spend a night with all of my friends but also with this guy who I connected so deeply with and got along with all of my friends so quickly. He knew I was moving, so we said our goodbyes at the end of the night.
The next day, I moved and haven’t talked to this random guy since. I think about him a lot still. He’s the one who got away. I wonder if he thinks of me.”
Years Later, He Realized She Wasn’t Leading Him On
“I met a girl on an early era Internet date before OkCupid and stuff were around.
We met at a restaurant around 6 pm and had talked all night until they told us they were closing. We clicked big time.
She up and vanished on me after that. Found out several years later she’d been killed in an accident. It’d been suggested to me that she could have died. But, for the most part, I blew off that suggestion since I figured she simply had been leading me on. But later in college, I just checked her name in the area paper listings. I found an obituary. The name and age checked out, along with the date.”
Run Away Love
“My ex just left me after living with me for only a month.
Everything was perfect when things were calm, but he had a slew of mental illnesses: GAD, depression, panic disorder, PTSD. There would be times when the move 2,000 miles away from his home to live with me was too much for him, but we always managed to get through those tough times. There was one moment where his anxiety led him to such frustration that he said he’d just pack up and go, but he quickly apologized for ever even suggesting it.
Then one Wednesday night, he lost it. My mom was flying out for her birthday. She had been super excited to meet this guy who had brought me such inner peace. Despite all the tension surrounding his volatile mental state, I had never felt more loved in my entire life. He ended up having a massive panic attack, claiming everything was too permanent. He had just had a great job interview, he was getting documents together to apply for a passport so we could travel together, he was creating art more than ever for his Tumblr and Etsy. And yet, even with all his newfound proactivity, he fell back into the negative.
He ran away back home. Actually, as far as I can tell from his social media, he’s still in San Antonio, which is three hours away from here. He was going to take the first bus there and then fly out, but he spent the entire day destressing out there. If he ends up back in Staten Island, I’ll finally stop following all of his accounts, but, at this point, I just want to make sure he gets home safely.
My heart is so sunken. He told me if it weren’t for his mental health issues, he would stay, but he can’t handle living so far away from everything and everyone he’s ever known while combatting those feelings. The rug got pulled right from under me, but hopefully, he gets the treatment he needs and comes out a better person.”
When Facebook Plays Matchmaker
“She was my high school sweetheart, but I was too young and stupid to realize how amazing she was. I broke up with her. My family moved away to another state and I lost contact with her and any mutual friends, but I never stopped thinking of her.
30 years and two divorces later, she shows up as a ‘person you may know’ on Facebook. I sent a friend request and went to bed. Unbeknownst to me at the time, my friend request came up on her phone at the same moment that her husband of 20 years was telling her that he wanted a divorce.
We started talking and reconnecting. I flew to meet her a few times, then moved back to be with her. That was two and a half years ago and now I can’t imagine life without her.”
Not So Secret Admirer
“If you’ve ever seen ‘Can’t Hardly Wait,’ she is the Amanda to my Preston.
I met her in the eighth grade. We were at different middle schools, but we would be attending the same high school. When I got there in the fall, we were in almost every class together. We were friends, but I was shy and awkward. The summer after freshman year, we went on a trip to Europe with other students. We had a blast but I was still just a gangly, shy teenager.
At some point, I began dropping unsigned cards in her locker for her birthday and Valentine’s day. That went on for all of high school. She started dating someone and so did I. We never managed to connect, even after I gained the confidence to ask her out. The timing was never right. We went off to different colleges and that was it for a long time. We both got married to other people and had kids.
When reunion time came around, I was helping organize a little and helping to find people (Facebook was in its infancy). We were emailing a little bit. I got wasted and I told her everything. I told her I was the one who put the cards in her locker. I told her I had always had feelings for her. She told me that she knew. And that she was sorry that it never happened for us. It will always be one of those ‘but it would have been cool’ things.
We still see each other occasionally. My wife knows her; she has known her since high school. She knows how I felt back then. We are different people now, I guess. I’d never change what I have now. But if one day, we both ended up single I’d give it a go. I think she would too. I’m probably still romanticizing it a little.”
In Sickness And In Health
“I met my soulmate in 2009 and it was the closest thing to love at first sight that I can imagine. We stayed up all night talking to each other and holding each other, and just praying the sun wouldn’t come up and break the spell. When we did the same thing the following night, we knew it was real.
We were together for a little over a year when he started to get sick. He ended the relationship because he didn’t know how to juggle it with what was happening in his head. As painful as it was, we stayed friends and I continued to support him. A few months after the breakup, he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and got on the right medication that helped him feel like his old self again. We got back together and things were better than they had ever been.
We got married a few years later. Drinking problems run in his family and he has always tended toward excess, but he didn’t really start to develop a problem until about a year after the wedding. It caused a lot of problems between us: he was spending all of our money at the bar, neglecting me to go out with coworkers all night, and not contributing to household chores. I became more and more rigid as a result, which in turn made him resentful. He told me he didn’t want to be married anymore.
We went to couples counseling, but at the time, neither of us really knew what the problem was; or if we did, we couldn’t yet articulate it. After four sessions, he told me he wanted to stay together. I didn’t know what had changed for him and he couldn’t really say either, except that he knew he loved me and wanted to make it work. I now felt deeply insecure about our relationship, and he continued to drink. I supported him in just about every sense of the word but kept feeling like he was drifting out of my reach.
Fast forward to now, about three years later. We’re separated. He’s made a few attempts to get sober, but he hasn’t yet acknowledged the seriousness of his problem. Ultimately, I think he decided he would rather have the freedom to drink as much as he wants without having the responsibilities of marriage and having a partner who can feel let down. If at any moment he wanted to say, ‘Yes, I have a problem with drinking and I need your help to get through it,’ I would be there for him with no hesitation. But, he wants to drink more than he wants me.
I married my soulmate and still ended up losing him. It hurts less on some days than others, but after six months, I haven’t stopped wanting my husband back.”
Long Distance Cut Short
“We met online through a video game. The next couple of days, every time we were both online at the same time, we played together and talked a lot. This was at a time of my life when I was severely depressed, lacked any confidence, and felt very socially awkward. It took me a couple of days to build up the courage to ask her if she’d want to continue chatting outside of the game.
Over the next couple of months, we talked a lot online, both through text and voice. We built a connection that I haven’t felt with anyone before her, or since then. There was a problem though, we lived on different continents, about 5,000 miles apart.
We made plans to meet up, I was going to fly out to her later that year. She was just as eager to meet as I was. However, we were young, and at this point very emotionally immature, perhaps I more so than her. I pushed her away with my insecurities. She was going through a busy and difficult time in her life, and I was exerting too much of myself onto her. She ended up ghosting me.
For a short while, I was incredibly sad. Eventually, I used it as a wake-up call to try and become a better person. I ended up realizing that meeting her at that time might not have been the greatest idea in the long run. It wouldn’t have ended well, because even if we had the chemistry outside of the internet, it would’ve led us to a world of pain. A transatlantic long distance relationship is not something two young people should really need to deal with.
We haven’t talked in about two years, but I still think about her often. For now, I’ve just been moving forward with my life, mostly focusing on improving myself. I visit her country annually for different reasons, and I’ve had plans of moving there before I even met her. Perhaps our story isn’t finished yet. Only time will tell.”
The Relationship Issue Grandpa Didn’t Expect
“We had both heard endlessly about each other from our grandfathers who were not really friends but went to the same coffee shop every day. They were like the Grumpy Old Men movie basically. They both thought we would be perfect for each other and joked that we would wind up marrying each other.
I met him when we were in 6th grade at the same school. It seemed like they were right. We were two peas in a pod and became best friends and started ‘going out’ almost immediately. We were off and on but mostly on all the way through junior year in high school. We had fooled around quite a bit but had never gone all the way.
Then he slept with someone I knew. When I confronted him about it, the truth came out. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to be with a woman. He had decided to sleep with someone else because he knew if he slept with me and then decided he wasn’t actually into women that it would break me.
As mad as I was, I think he was probably right. He saved me having my insecurities be that much worse. He is happy with another man now.
I didn’t talk to him for almost 15 years. He had moved halfway across the state. My then-husband was in surgery and I was in a complete breakdown with worry. I walked into the surgery waiting room and there he was. His mom was having surgery at the same time.
Meeting my current boyfriend is the only time since then that I’ve had the same feeling. The feeling like I’ve known them forever and as if we are physically connected somehow. It’s such a weird feeling.”
From Broken Down To Broken Up
“I met a girl in a college class. I noticed her in the back of the room the very first day, but didn’t end up talking to her until the last three weeks of the semester, as I was dating someone else, and so was she. We were put in a group together for our final project. We started chatting and became close friends almost immediately. We would go on double dates with our significant others and we all became good friends. It was one of those situations where even though I had just met her, I felt like I knew her forever, and she said the same to me.
That was my final semester. I had to move back home several states over after that. My short relationship ended because of that. Her significant other was starting to get violent, so I agreed to hang out with her for the day. This was three days before I was to move back home. We decided to take a mini ‘good-bye’ road trip to a small town an hour or two away. We never stop talking or smiling the whole way. We were almost there when my car broke down on the side of the highway in the middle of nowhere. The closest town was 14 miles away with a population of 2,000. It was almost dark, and we couldn’t get anyone to come to get us, So we ended up staying in a motel for the night in the middle of nowhere, as well as waiting until 6 pm the next day to get picked up. It was one of the best days of my life. We ran around the town, made up stories about who we were, went ghost hunting in the motel. It was everything a movie would be based on. We got picked up the next day, but we didn’t want to leave. I ended up living with my dad for a couple months while I figured out what to do about my now totaled car. In that time, she left her violent boyfriend and we started dating.
I ended up staying for her. More adventures, more movie-like romance, and we loved each other. It was the best
A year later, we got engaged. I was missing home sorely, and we decided to move back to my hometown. The arrangement was that I would move first, find a new job, and get a place before she followed me a couple months later.
Three days after I moved, we found out she’s pregnant. We were both happy, but now it was a whole new situation. She was nervous about the move in the first place, but now that she was pregnant, she didn’t want to leave her hometown and her family. So there I was, all my savings spent on the move and with no job. I was stuck at my mom’s place 1,000 miles away. Shortly after that, we found out it wasn’t just one baby, but three. Cue my panic attack. It got very stressful because we couldn’t see each other.
A few months later, we lost all three babies. She was completely devastated, as was I. It made things even worse for our relationship. She ended up deciding not to come out anyway, and we called off the engagement.
We don’t really talk anymore, and she’s with someone else now. But there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about her, and that day we broke down in West Texas.”