In the intricate dance of relationships, conflicts with significant others can often leave us questioning our actions.
In this engaging collection, we delve into moments when individuals turned to the internet seeking perspective on whether they were right or wrong in heated disagreements with their partners.
These real-life anecdotes shed light on the complexities of relationships and invite us to explore the shades of gray that color our interactions with those we hold closest.
All content has been edited for clarity.
This One Isn’t Even Debatable
“I (34F) live with my husband (37M) and daughter (7F).
My daughter and I recently went on a short trip out of state while my husband stayed as he had work and was supposed to look after our dog.
On the last day of our trip we got a call from my husband who was acting distraught and said that our dog Ellie had run away and that he could not find her. He claimed she just bolted away from him in the park, into some bushes and he could not find her.
Our dog is quite small, a mini poodle mix and almost 13 years old, she is still active but it is really unlike her to run away from us and I was suspicious but chose to believe my husband and me and my daughter were in grief but did not want to blame him.
When we came back home, he seemed surprisingly ok unlike us. My husband started working from home a few years ago and he has always been annoyed at how much attention we gave Ellie and hated how Ellie begged to sit on our laps and his while he worked.
A few days later we got a call from an animal rescue in a neighboring state quite far from us that she had been found. I picked the phone and it was on our landline which we almost never use these days but was the contact on the microchip.
I told my husband and he just said ‘that is great, I am so happy’ but it felt kind of blunt and insincere. I said it is strange that she got so far and he responded that someone must have stolen her and then abandoned her. This made little sense to me as to why that would happen.
When he was out drinking with his buddies, I copied the videos from his dashcam for the days I was away and saw that he had indeed taken Ellie far out of state, and clearly dropped her in front of his car thrown a frisbee like object into a field, yelled fetch and drove off without her.
I was livid and confronted him and he just stupidly muttered how he dropped her there so she could find a farm and have a better life and then the next day got really angry at me for viewing his dashcam and called me an my daughter AHs.
Am I in the wrong?”
I Feel Like Your Priorities Are Off
“I work in an environment where personal electronics are strictly prohibited – no phones, smartwatches, or pagers. Having been with this job for about 6 months, my wife is well aware of this policy and understands that she shouldn’t attempt to contact me via my cell while I’m at work. Our phones are left in lockers, and I usually keep mine on Do Not Disturb mode. Up until this incident, my phone had never gone off in the locker before.
Recently, there was a significant fire at a secondary worksite where I occasionally work. However, on that particular day, I was at the main building. The local news had covered the fire before I could find out about it, given our lack of electronic devices and the isolating nature of our work, causing news to travel slowly. Unfortunately, there were casualties and many people were seriously injured.
My wife had been following the news from home and apparently started panicking. She ended up calling me a staggering 20 times, which – to my surprise – managed to override my Do Not Disturb setting, resulting in my phone ringing incessantly in my locker. During my shift, I was called into my manager’s office and reprimanded, ultimately receiving a written warning, due to the disruptive noise my phone had caused. My manager instructed me to address whatever was happening with my phone before returning to work.
I won’t deny that when I saw those 20 missed calls from my wife, I was genuinely furious. As I mentioned, she is well aware of the communication limitations during my work hours, and this incident had the potential to negatively impact my chances of a raise or promotion. I called her back, my frustration evident, and questioned her reason for calling me so relentlessly. She was still sobbing and inquired if I was safe. I assured her that I was, but my tone shifted as I chastised her for the excessive calls. She continued to cry and began discussing the fire. My response escalated into half-yelling as I rattled off all the reasons I found her actions unreasonable.
Upon returning home, my wife remained deeply upset with me. I extended an apology for raising my voice, though she remained unresponsive. Over the past few days, she has maintained a distant demeanor, even opting to sleep in our daughter’s room. While I recognize that yelling was not the best course of action, I am still of the belief that my frustration was justified. Firstly, she knows I infrequently work at the secondary site. Secondly, she is aware of my communication limitations and could have easily contacted the office. Lastly, the sheer volume of 20 calls struck me as truly excessive.
Am I in the wrong?”
Have You Heard Of Weaponized Incompetence?
“In my household, my wife doesn’t handle cooking. It’s not her strong suit, and we find it more enjoyable if I take charge of meal preparation. Earlier this year, we both agreed that it was time to focus on improving our fitness, and I delved into researching macro/calorie-friendly recipes and embraced the concept of meal prepping. While my wife initially joined in, she eventually chose to discontinue.
Fortunately, this change didn’t pose a major problem for me. Given her nursing job, she frequently works late shifts, often extending beyond my own work hours (which are typically 6 am to 2 pm). I took on the task of preparing my week’s worth of meals on my off day, just as I did before, which includes crafting three meals for six days: breakfast, lunch, and dinner (with a simple interchange between lunch and dinner).
Last week, I had a work commitment that required me to leave home on Thursday morning and return Friday morning, stopping by home briefly before heading to the office. This plan had been known for weeks, so it wasn’t sprung on my wife suddenly. I had assumed that she would ensure she and our child had dinner that night and breakfast the next morning. However, when I returned home the following morning, my last breakfast and lunch for the week were missing. Running short on time and not wanting to disturb her before her shift, I had no choice but to leave without them. The result: I skipped both breakfast and lunch. As my workday progressed, my hunger grew, and I made an early dinner plan. But alas, my dinner portion for the night had also vanished.
This situation was the tipping point. Upon my wife’s return home, I confronted her about the matter, and she admitted to consuming the prepped meals. I expressed my frustration at having portioned out food for an entire day, only to find it devoured in one night. Her defense was that I hadn’t made alternative arrangements for her and our child, leaving them with only the prepped meals to eat. Our disagreement escalated, with her labeling me as selfish for expecting her to fend for herself for a single evening.
In response, I decided that if my expectations were deemed selfish, I would reciprocate by ceasing to cook altogether. I felt that I was putting in significant effort for someone who labeled me as such. Over the past week, I’ve stuck to preparing my meal preps and storing them at work, while letting her decide on her dinner plans independently. I still take care of our child’s meals, crafting a single portion suitable for him to consume on his own.
I communicated to her my intention to continue this approach, suggesting that she should take this opportunity to acquire a life skill she should have acquired by now. She countered that she’s too fatigued after her work shifts to cook and accused me of being overly petty. My perspective is that I am justifiably encouraging her to develop a valuable skill set.
Am I in the wrong?”
Where Do I Sign Up To Be A House Husband?
“I (28m) have been married to my wife, ‘Bella’ (28f), for 5 years. We both attended the same college, with her studying pre-law and me pursuing animation. While Bella graduated at the top of our class and went on to a prestigious law school, I faced challenges in finding a job in my field or any job at all. Consequently, I worked as a line cook in a kitchen to help support us alongside the loans she took out, enabling her to focus solely on her studies.
Following her graduation, Bella secured a highly rewarding job in a different state. As a result, I left my job, and since then, I have not pursued another one. With no children to care for and a comfortable home for the two of us, we lead a content and prosperous life. Given her demanding work schedule, I assume most of the household responsibilities—cleaning, cooking, grocery shopping, and even home improvements like repainting and renovations.
However, over the last six months, Bella has taken to referring to me as her ‘house husband’ when interacting with family and friends. Though I’ve largely tried to ignore it, this label deeply bothers me each time. My existing insecurity about not finding a satisfying job is exacerbated by these comments, making me feel inadequate. My breaking point came when Bella and her mother were discussing lawn and garden care last Sunday. Her mother expressed gratitude for having a ‘house husband’ to handle such tasks, followed by laughter. I found the situation humiliating.
Initially, I stayed silent, but my distress must have been apparent, prompting Bella to inquire about it. I expressed my feelings, telling her that her choice of words emasculated me and belittled my contributions to our household. Our disagreement escalated, and she conceded to cease using the term ‘house husband’ if I felt so strongly about it, albeit with the condition that I control my insecurities.
However, Bella refuses to apologize, leaving me with the impression that she fails to fully appreciate my role as her husband. In response, I’ve halted my involvement in household chores until she offers an apology, which has left her extremely upset. She now comes home, prepares dinner solely for herself, manages the neglected chores, and occasionally spends nights at a friend’s house. Discussing this with my sister, she acknowledged Bella’s wrongdoing while also noting that my reaction may be viewed as immature. I’m at a crossroads; if I yield, Bella might consider her behavior acceptable, yet the current tension is taking its toll. I find myself uncertain about the best course of action.
Am I in the wrong?”