A Mother And Daughter Relationship
We all have one, but not all of us have the same connection to the word. Let’s play a little word association game. What comes to mind when you say the word, “mother?”
Because we instinctively think of our own mothers, and since we have our own unique relationship with them, there’s going to be countless answers. And unforunately, not all of them are going to be positive, just like how not all mother and daughter’s relationships are. Just ask “Alison.”
It seems like no matter what she did, she and her mother just couldn’t get along. It could be the simplest situation, like attending an event, and somehow it could turn into a full blown screaming match, her mother coming out as the first contestant. One time, her mother forced her to attend a wedding she didn’t know, and took her cellphone so she couldn’t call off work, resulting to a ‘No Call, No Show.’ She got a one time only warning and if it happened again, she would be fired. And you think, her mother would have that in consideration, that her daughter is grown and might have other responsibilities than go to a party. But this was normal occurrence and her mother would never once saw a problem with it.
Another time, it was her baby cousin’s birthday party, and of course, somehow her mother found a reason to yell at her for ruining the party. Did Alison set something on fire? Or drop the birthday cake? Nope, according to her mother, she fell asleep.
Hmm, that’s a bit suspicious. There is definitely more the story, let’s see who’s the true problem.
It’s Mom’s Way Or No Way
Who doesn’t love to sleep in on the weekends? Especially, after a long and exhausting week of working or studying, or maybe even both. Well, for college student, Alison, she definitely had ‘sleeping in’ on her to-do list for the day, along with getting some assignments done and studying for an upcoming test until her plans were completely ruined.
Her mother abruptly barged into her room, demanding for her to get dressed and come with her to “Aunt Shelly’s” house to prepare for “Brooklyn’s” birthday party. Mind you, Brooklyn was only four months old so not sure why she was even having a birthday party in the first place and secondly, it was six am on a Saturday. None of it made sense, especially for a person who was unexpectedly awakened from a deep sleep.
Still half asleep, Alison responded, “Do I have to go? I’ve got a lot of college homework to handle and a test coming up.”
Her mother wasn’t in the mood for any of her so-called excuses, so without hesitation, she claimed, “Yes! It’s very important for your cousin and Aunt Shelly has a lot that needs to be set up for the party that starts at two pm.”
Alison went on, “If it doesn’t start until two pm, then why do we have to get up this early?”
Her mother angrily scoffed at her, “Just get up! Why are you making things so difficult?! You are the oldest, you should always be first to be there for her. Now get up!”
There was winning with her mom, so she thought if she couldn’t stay home and do school work, then she’d bring the school work with her to the party. Sounds valid, right? Well, her mother would say otherwise. In her eyes, Alison was there to help and focus on only one thing – making this day special for her baby cousin, with no distractions whatsoever.
Not understanding her mother’s logic, she tried to reason with her mother, only for it to ensue into an argument. After a few minutes of the back and forth, and getting absolutely nowhere, Alison caved in and agreed to not take her schoolwork with her. But let’s just say, that car ride to Aunt Shelly’s was dead silent. And it didn’t get any better once there.
Not The Ideal Saturday
When they arrived, they saw a few of the other aunts’ cars parked outside, making her mother even more eager to get inside.
Everyone was in the kitchen, well everyone except Aunt Shelly’s children, “Billy”, “Kayle”, and the infamous birthday baby, Brooklyn. Billy and Kayle were younger than Alison, so they were still considered inadequate for the kitchen tasks and were most likely still asleep. Oh, how Alison envied them because almost immediately she was put to work by her mother, prepping their traditional dishes for the party.
The kitchen was filled with all sorts of veggies, fruits, meats, and of course, her aunts who were well in their 40s. Not the ideal Saturday morning she had in mind, but after three hours, she saw an opportunity to getaway.
Around nine am, Aunt Shelly returned to the kitchen, accompanied by Kayle this time, sharing news about how she ordered food and we could take a break until then. The women circled around the kitchen table and continued to gossip, while Kayle invited Alison to chat in her room. There wasn’t much convincing Alison to go anywhere, but the kitchen.
Alison liked her room. It was quiet and peaceful, which only made it harder for her to stay awake. Kayle ended up talking away about how she made her school’s dance team and was in desperate need of a song. Not sure at what point of the conversation, but Alison slowly started to drift to sleep. It had been three or four hours since she was abruptly awakened for this so-called special birthday party that didn’t start until two pm. She was so tired, she only wanted to close her eyes just momentarily, but that didn’t happen. Just like that morning, she was startled by a commotion at the door.
Her mother busted that door down like she was a part of the swat team, and Alison was her suspect. All of that just for her to yell at Alison to come back to the kitchen. Not wanting to be sucked back into that boredom, she made up an excuse how she and Kayle were catching up, which, in all honestly, wasn’t entirely false. Her mother glanced at Kayle and then back again at Alison.
She said, “Don’t be too long.”
Alison thought, “Aye, Aye, Captain,” as she watched her mother leave the room. She tried her best to not fall asleep, just in case her mother came back up. She wouldn’t hear the end of it and be immediately sent back into the kitchen. So every time she heard someone come up the stairs next to Kayle’s room, she would force herself to look alive, but deep down she wanted to take a nap. But mostly, it was a false alarm, it was only Aunt Shelly coming upstairs every 30 minutes to check on baby Brooklyn, who was asleep in the other room, across the hallway.
Not thinking her mom was returning anytime soon, Alison eventually slumped over Kayle’s bed, dozing off. It was in a matter of seconds, when all of a sudden, the door swung open.
Her mother yelled, “Why are you sleeping? You’re supposed to be helping us in the kitchen! This party is for your cousin, and you’re ruining it for Brooklyn!”
Aunt Shelly, who was in the other room, rushed into the room, trying to figure out why her sister was so furious and calm the situation.
She said, “It’s okay! Alison is tired and we haven’t even started yet, we’re still waiting on the food to arrive.”
But that did everything but calm the situation. Cue in more shouting, toxicity, and even tears.
Did She Ruin The Birthday Party?
If you thought the yelling was going to end there, then you thought wrong. Alison’s mother didn’t care who was in the room or who could hear her, Alison was going to feel her wrath and disappointment.
Her mother yelled, “She’s being very disrespectful to you and your fam-“
She was then disrupted by crying. It was Brooklyn from the other room, waking up from all the yelling. Just as Aunt Shelly was rushing out, she told her sister to lower her voice as she just woke up the birthday girl. And that enraged her mother even more. It couldn’t be her fault, it was Alison’s.
Her mother pierced Alison with an intense gaze. And continued, “See what you did? You woke Brooklyn up! She’ll remember this forever!”
Alison, also fed up, said, “Brooklyn’s barely a year old, she’s never going to remember any of this.”
Still hearing the uproar, Aunt Shelly returned, this time with Brooklyn in her arms, and said quietly, “Actually, why don’t you, Billy, and Kayle watch over Brooklyn until the party starts.”
At this point, she was just trying to ease the tension in the air. Her mother continued to have this glaring contest with her for a few seconds, before leaving the room. But again, it didn’t stop there. Every so often, her mother would come and “check” upon them, or in other words, check in to make sure Alison wasn’t sleeping. Somehow, a few hours later, Alison didn’t doze off once. However, it was now six pm, and the party had just begun.
Twelve whole hours were wasted when she could have been doing schoolwork or studying or, better yet, sleeping in preparation for the party, which was going to be an additional few more hours. But other than being tired and fighting with her mother, the party was a huge success. Contrary to what her mother thought, she didn’t ruin the birthday party by closing her eyes for more than 10 seconds. The birthday girl appeared to be happy, but then again she was a four-month-old baby so, a freakin banana could make her laugh.
It was a win for the party, but not so much for the night. Once the party was over, Alison’s mother acted as Alison wasn’t forced to get up so early for the party and was even scorned for not being her schoolwork. Getting called “stupid” was how her night ended, which was just another regular day for her. Yet another day, when her mother’s true colors were revealed.
She knew she didn’t ruin the birthday party, everyone knew she didn’t, but there was no trying to explain to her mother. She wouldn’t listen.
Thoughts From The Author
After reading the story, I couldn’t help but feel bad for Alison. I understand we’ve all been in situations where our parents made us do something we didn’t want to do. I know there were a few times, I had to wake up early to help with the lawn, a party, or clean around the house, and you kind of roll with the punches. But I think her mother was doing the most, to get constantly yelled out throughout the day and ultimately blamed for something you didn’t do, is just out of line. Maybe it’s tough love? Or her mother is just borderline toxic? It didn’t matter what Alison was doing, her mother would find a way to fight with her. I mean, she forced her to not bring her schoolwork and then called her stupid for not bringing it. Like, what was her deal?!
I was curious as to why her mother was so adamant for Alison to not take a nap? The girl was helping for at least 12 hours, and no one else was working at the time. Then embarrass Alison in front of her Aunt Shelly and cousins by all that yelling and being called disrespectful. In my eyes, I wouldn’t consider her to be rude or disrespectful, it was the mother who was the disrespectful one.
Overall, the mother’s constant outbursts are not healthy for their relationship.
I mean, I’m no therapist, but I feel like if the mother was a little more considerate of Alison’s point of view, then that whole chaos could’ve been avoided. Because at the end of the day, she’s just causing distance and resentment between her daughter.