Lies And Deceit Towards An Afro-Troubled Man
“I’m black and I have a really long afro. Not too many hairdressers or barbers can cut an afro…especially one this long. I decided to give the haircutter a shot, since my normal barber had moved to another shop, under the advice of a few of my friends.
I should have known better because none of them wore an afro ever! They assign me ‘Token’ the one black female hairdresser who assured me she had cut many afros. LIES AND DECEIT! She blow-dried my hair and cut it even while straight so my head looked like a triangular bush when I wet it… I’m sticking with the barber shop from now on.”
Glorious Revenge Hair For The Mean Girl
“I had a friend who would cut hair back in high school. She was pretty well known around the school for it too, so kids who she hardly knew would ask her to cut their hair and she would happily oblige them.
Then one day, this girl who had picked on her (as well as many other girls in the school, think Mean Girls) for years by calling her names, berating her, publicly making fun of her, etc. The girl got pretty hammered at a party and asked my friend to cut her hair. So, she did.
She gave her the worst f—ing haircut of that girl’s life. She had long, pretty hair, but when my friend was done she looked like someone had stuck her hair in a wood chipper. She f—ed it up to a point to where no stylist could undo it… She just had to let it grow back out while sporting a f—ugly haircut.
Needless to say, my friend’s parents were pretty pissed and grounded her for a few months and took her car away. She says it was still worth that sweet, sweet justice.”
Outdated Rat Tail Hair
“I was working at a children’s salon for about a year during my cosmetology career. Most of the experiences were miserable due to unrealistic expectations of parents combined with children who were afraid of the clippers or shears.
I’ll always remember when I accidentally cut off a little boys 4-inch rat tail. The mother scooped him out of the chair right after, with only maybe 1/3 of his head shaved, and stormed out.
My reaction at that time was: ‘It’s 2008, and your son had a rat tail. You are welcome…”
How The Boy Ended Up Looking Like Lloyd Christmas
“Licensed hairstylist of 13 years here, I’ve only had three haircut f— ups my entire career. The most memorable was the first week I started working at Great Clips. I was 17 at the time and didn’t have a lot of experience. As I was cutting a little boy’s bangs, he had his eyebrows raised, watching me the whole time, which resulted in his bangs being cut almost to his hairline. I called over a coworker to help me out. She walks over, takes one look at the kid, cracks up laughing and says ‘He looks just like Lloyd Christmas.’
Most haircut mistakes are fairly easy to fix. You’ve just got to know what you’re doing. A straight edge razor works wonders to hide mistakes in long hair while blending and fading techniques can solve almost any butchered clipper job. The hardest cuts to fix are the hack jobs that parents create when they think they can do it themselves. And when kids take the scissors to their own hair.
Now, hair color mistakes are a different story. We will BS our way out of a botched color job like nobody’s business. Us stylists even back each other up with our lies. There are just so many things you can blame for being the result of bad color. Anesthesia, medication, drugs…. If it goes in your body, it comes out your hair and we will find an excuse to back that up.
Also, if you do drugs and get your hair chemically treated, WE KNOW. Especially on permed or bleached hair. The color processes differently. And with perms, it will turn the processing liquid that comes in contact with the hair a different color. Most drug users perms will drip a dark purple color and the curl usually comes out s—-y.”
Sure Give Me A Haircut While On Heavy Pain Meds
“About 7 months ago I went to my usual place to get my hair cleaned up. The chick who usually cuts my hair was using crutches. I didn’t think much of it and I asked her if she was ok and she said, ‘Yeah! Hop in the chair, we’re good to go.’ Great! I’m thinking. So she asked what I wanted and I said that I’d like everything cleaned up, pretty standard guys cut, clean on the sides and a little bit longer on top. Great!
So she started cutting and then, in the middle of our usual chit-chat, she mentioned that she was on quite a bit of painkillers. That should have been the first sign that something was wrong, but I’m a pretty empathetic guy so I just said ‘Oh my god I’m sorry I know those things can make you pretty loopy.’
Then, she started sipping on a beer. Again this was pretty much in the realm of normalcy, as she always offers me a beer when I walk in. But again, I don’t really think anything of it.
The next thing I know she was saying, ‘Oh s—. I don’t know how to tell you this, but you know you have a bald spot.’ F—!! Now, I’m a 28-year-old guy, my dad has gradually gone bald so I was thinking, well, it was nice while it lasted, it had to go at some point. I don’t really freak out. She said that this kind of thing happens and maybe it’s just stress. F—! I paid her the 30$ and tipped her nicely, as I always do. After that, I went home depressed…cause I was going bald. This was made worse by the fact that I have an identical twin brother who was in no way going bald.
I got home and my brother said, ‘Oh dude nice haircut!’ And I responded basically beside myself ‘No, brother, not a great haircut. I have a f—ing bald spot. F—!!!’ My brother was curious, obviously, and he took a look and just started laughing. ‘Brother! She f—ed up with the clippers and tried to pass it off like you were balding!’ He told me to take a look. So he took a picture and I saw what she did.
The funniest thing about it was that since then, I’ve been completely SCARRED about haircuts and have basically refused to get it cut. Luckily over time, my hair progressed since ‘The Butchering'” (Photo mentioned is actual photo above).
I Didn’t See It, But I Definitely Heard It
“Back at University, a junior hair stylist was using an electric razor to cut my back and sides fairly close (number 3 or 4 they call it in the UK at least) when suddenly, as she did the back of my skull, I heard a ‘BZZZT.’ I saw the girl bite her lip and her eyes widening with worry… I consider myself, an easy going guy, and felt sorry for this young girl. So I let it go without saying a thing.
When the time came at which they get that long mirror out with the handles at each side, to show you the back of your head, instead of putting it at an angle like usual so you can see the reflection in the mirror in front of you, she sheepishly just put it directly behind my head.
So I couldn’t see a thing. I just nodded…she knew..
Checked it out in the car, sure enough, there was a bald strip in the back of my head..”
She Signed The Waiver Knowingly
“I was in beauty school and a woman came in for a cut before a trip to Chicago. I had maybe been out on the floor cutting hair for 3 weeks. I was still a total noob.
Well, this woman gave me a picture of her hair cut and styled years ago and wanted the same thing. I had no idea how to do it and tell her so. Teachers gave no advice. So I told her the style is a bit dated and not really popular anymore. I did offer some alternatives, but she was not interested.
So I decided to give it my best shot. The hairstyle we ended up with is cuter than the picture but shorter than expected. She walked out to the front waiting area and her son told her she looked like a boy.
I ended up getting b—-ed out by teachers for not caring or apologizing. I responded by telling them she went to a SCHOOL for a cut and signed a WAIVER acknowledging there was a good chance her hair would be f—ed up that day. It got f—ed up.
Zero f—s given. I work in a top 100 salon in the U.S. now.”
He Can’t Make Your Hair Magically Grow
“I didn’t mess up this haircut but she wasn’t happy. When I was cutting women’s hair a few years ago I had a girl come in (think of an annoying Facebook girl) and she sat in my chair. She asked if I could cut her hair so it looked longer. I told her I could cut it so it’s shorter. She didn’t understand that I couldn’t make hair longer by cutting it so instead I just gave her a light trim, after discussing it over our consultation. About a half inch off. Not much at all.
I turn her to the mirror when I’m done and she says ‘Oh mah gawd! Men can’t cut hair! You didn’t do anything!’ As I stood there, dumbfounded, I told her I did what she asked except I couldn’t magically grow hair. She got mad, ripped off the cape, threw money at the receptionist, and stormed out. The other customers in the shop laughed a bit while I wondered whether another hairdresser had this problem…”
Watch Your Ears Next Time
“I had a hairdresser who cut out a chunk of my ear with scissors. Hurt like f—, but being the manly man that I am, I didn’t say anything. Five minutes or so passed and she asked me ‘Ummmm…Did I cut your ear?’
At that point, my neck was covered in blood… So I was like ‘Nah, I just have spontaneous bleedings from the top of my ear. What do you think?!’ They promised me a free head massage (5 min, holy s—) for the next time I need a haircut. Ha! As if I’m going back there…”
Don’t Mix Up The Scissors Next Time
“When I FIRST started working I was thinning a girl’s hair with texturizing shears. The difference between texturizing shears & cutting shears is that texturizing shears will only take about 1/3 of the hairs & you are still left with the effect of the length. She had TONS of coarse thick long hair. At some point, I set my shears back on my station. I don’t exactly remember why, but when I picked them back up & started to make the cut, I realized I had actually picked up my cutting shears…there was about a 1/4 inch section of hair at the back of her head that was about 3-4 inches long!
Luckily for me, the little piece was hidden under all of her other layers of hair. Not noticeable. I totally could’ve just styled it & sent her off, but that’s not how I roll…
I immediately stopped. Told her what had happened. Pointed it out. Reassured her it wouldn’t be noticeable. Apologized profusely & sincerely bc I was seriously mortified. & finished the cut & style. Her haircut was also free.
I felt absolutely terrible but I definitely learned from that mistake…now I NEVER leave my thinning & cutting shears right next to each other! Also, no matter how nice & accommodating you are to a client, they WILL talk s— about you. Found out about 6-7 months later that she was telling everyone about how I f—ed up her hair…b—- please…no one even noticed.
There was another time that my favorite 93-year-old client told me to do whatever I wanted. She used to be a redhead. Now is all white-haired. I decided to give her a semi-permanent very light red (like a level 8) & do everything else as usual. SHE WAS FURIOUS! But realized it had been her mistake for telling me to do whatever I wanted. I went back & lightened/stripped/toned what I could & it looked good. I tried not to charge her for her color, but she insisted on paying me anyway. She’ll never let me live it down, but she still comes once a month & I absolutely love her.”
He Definitely Didn’t Want The Vanilla Ice Styled Stripes
“I have been a hairdresser here for 8 years. I had been working in an upscale AVEDA salon for about 3 months; My first job out of beauty school. I had a men’s haircut scheduled under the name ‘Namjimmy.’ His name was just Jimmy but his Korean accent was so thick that’s what our receptionist heard when she asked his name. He was here on business. Standard short tapered men’s cut. Clippers on the sides scissors on top.
I’m feeling pretty cocky at this point in my career. So this is easy peasy. I start with the clippers on the sides. I am using the clipper over comb technique where you use a comb to determine the length and taper of the hair. So I am gliding a clipper with no guard over a comb. I’m trying my best to conversate with my client and just doing my thing.
All of a sudden I just slipped and ran the clipper right against his head. 3-inch long BALD ‘Vanilla Ice Stripe’ on side of head! I instantly felt as though my insides were in my shoes and my brain was coming out my mouth. He was turned away from the mirror so he had no idea yet of the horrible mistake. A million thoughts went through my mind. I really wanted to just put my clippers down and walk out the front door and leave him to discover on his own and for my boss to deal with aftermath. But I had nailed a sweet job and thought I better try to pick up the pieces.
Before turning Jimmy towards the mirror I did my best in simple English to explain what happened. Now, this part is where I lied a little. I blamed it on my clippers. I have classic 76’s which have a removal blade mechanism. I said that it wasn’t attached properly and flipped out of alignment while still cutting. I am ashamed but I just couldn’t admit that I wasn’t paying enough attention. So there’s me saying ‘broken’ while pointing to clippers and ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘no charge’ over and over.
Then I turn him to the mirror and he was f—ing SHOCKED. He just kept saying ‘I never expect this’ over and over. I swear to you he was so frustrated he started to tear up. And that’s when I obviously lost my s—. I made this poor Korean businessman cry! He probably had some important meeting to go to and now he looks like a break dancer or something.
I went to the back and was just shaking and had a coworker go pick up the pieces. She just explained to him that if she took it shorter it would even out sooner. There was no hiding it! She even got him to laugh in the end joking about putting a matching one on the other side. I went home for the day as I was so shaken. It became a term in the salon for any f— up to be referred to as a Namjimmy. Like you really ‘namjimmied’ that lady’s bangs.”
Don’t Destroy Your Hair Right Before Your Wedding Day
“A relative of mine was a hairdresser. He had a woman walk in with a magazine cutting, asking for a perm. He told her he honestly didn’t think it would suit her at all – he used to cut hair for catwalks and model shows, and he knows what he’s talking about – and said that he could recommend some similar cuts that would frame her face nicely, but she was adamant that she wanted this one. So he got her to sign her name in a book acknowledging that she had been advised against it (he later said it was the only time he’d ever had to use it) and figured no big deal, it’d grow out in a few weeks. He gets to work, and he’s making small talk, and he says ‘So, any plans over the weekend?’
The woman responds: ‘Well, I’m getting married in a couple of hours…’
He, at this point, downs tools and excused himself. He said he went for ‘a long walk around the block.’ Usually, when you’re doing wedding hair you have the client come in six weeks beforehand for a practice run, you make sure it looks good with the dress and that everybody’s happy with the final design. He goes back in and says to the woman: ‘Look, I really don’t think this cut is going to be the right choice. I can still do this, this or this…’ But the woman sitting there with half a haircut and the friend she’s there with are absolutely adamant that this is the cut she has to have. So he finishes it, blow dries it, and it’s an exact replica of the style, in the magazine. And of course, it looks awful on this woman. She starts crying, her friend promptly disappears.
He ended up charging her half price for it and wished her a happy wedding day.”
I Guess You Can Try This At Home
“When my sister and I were about 10, we had heard of a haircut called the ‘vertical cut’ that cost $200. It was probably total BS, but we could have sworn, some place in New York has a machine that hung you upside down and took trimmers and trimmed straight across, so when you flipped back over you had these fantastic layers.
Well, being raised in a frugal family, my sister and I (without our parents’ permission btw) took turns hanging upside down from our brother’s bunk bed. The other took a pair of scissors and started hacking away. We were both laughing hysterically as we were cutting. But somehow we flipped back over, stood up, and it didn’t look bad. It actually looked pretty good. That was 12 years ago and I haven’t paid for a haircut since.”
Watch Out For The Blades
“I’m a hairstylist. When I was in school, they just let me on the floor and I got my first haircut ever. It was this old man in his 70s. I was so nervous.
I start to cut around his ear and my hands were shaking so bad… So I let go of his ear on accident and it flipped up into my shears blade. I cut the top part of his ear off. I mean not like a significant portion but I got it pretty good.
Blood starts pouring and I freak the f— out! He says,’Hey what’s wrong?’ I respond, ‘Uhhh sorry but I cut your ear really bad.’ He says, ‘Oh… I didn’t feel it, don’t worry dude just finish the haircut, it’s looking good.
I was traumatized. But it has been seven years since that… I’m actually kinda successful now.”
How Her Hair Mistake Turned Out To Be A Miracle
“When I was in beauty school, I had a middle-aged woman come in. She wanted to cut her shoulder-length hair into a short pixie cut. Having seen my superiors put hair in a ponytail and cut it off, I decided that was what I was gonna do. So I tied it up and chopped it off…well the hair right behind the ponytail was only about a half inch long. I was freaking out! I asked ‘So you wanted to go pretty short right?’ Continued to cut all the hair in the back about a half inch all over all while sweating profusely and hoping she would not reach up to feel what I have done. Luckily once I was done she loved it! And returned a few times after that. F—ing Miracle!”
Using The Free Cut Coupon Was A Frugal Mistake
“I received a coupon in the mail for Sports Clips; They had just opened a new one in my neighborhood. Now for those that do not know it, they market themselves as stylists and not barbers. So it is a free coupon to get a hair cut. Frugal me decides to go.
I get there and the receptionist tells me to wait. I then notice that guys coming after me, are getting seated so I ask her and she says to me, ‘Don’t worry, I am saving our best stylist for you.’ I figured that was hair stylist speak for, ‘I am getting the only one in here that can cut black people hair.’ I wait as it was free after all. Now, this lovely 40ish white lady asks me to the chair. I am getting the $20 value hair cut with the massage. I had not cut my hair in 3 months and it was really long. So she nervously asks me what style I want. I tell her, just fade it out and leave it dark at the top.
I close my eyes and relax. After ten minutes in my forced slumber, my brain tells me ‘Bro, something is wrong with your haircut, the motion is wrong and she is cutting against the grain!’
I open my eyes and I swear to Zeus’s festering a–hole, she was almost in tears. My hair looked like someone had taken blunt garden shears and tried to trim it. There was a bald patch on the side. She was apologizing profusely and at the same time fighting back tears. I told her to calm down and just even it out and it will be ok, forget about the fade.
I was wrong, she continued attacking my head. Then she decided that the scissors were a better deal. The snipping and cutting continued amidst her muffled sniffles. Then she went on this Weeping Madonna streak talking about how she has been a stylist for 18 years and about her kids and dog. My head was a f—ing mess. The other ‘stylists’ were cringing. She was a wreck and apologized.
Like a boss, I took the clippers from her, shaved my head bald and told her: ‘Ok, now for the massage…’
I know if I pushed for it, I would have got a happy ending…”
The Woman Hired An Attorney Over Her Hair
“My now ex-wife had gorgeous, perfect, ringlets that went down to her shoulders which I loved. Of course, she wanted to have straight hair despite my every objection. She went to a fancy hair salon and the hairdresser put a relaxer in her hair that was intended for black people. My ex-wife is white and probably overtreated her hair, to begin with. As the hairdresser was combing the curls out, my ex-wife’s hair started to literally melt like it was soaked in Drano. Long story short, she walked out of the salon almost completely bald (a crew cut) and with mild chemical burns to parts of her scalp.
She hired an attorney, but apparently, the loss of a full head of hair was only valued at about $1,500. WTF? Anyway, she ended up with a settlement check of about $600 and had to wear a wig for six months. Her ringlets never grew back the way they originally were. I was unbelievably pissed at both her and the salon for all of the nonsense.”
The Disasters That Come With Bratty Boys And Their Haircuts
“Not only have I f—ed haircuts up, I once cut a 5-year-old kid about 6 or 7 times in one hair cut.
His mother lost her s—. She went completely spastic!
In all honesty, it was a bit of a crime scene on the back of his neck. And the little cut on his ear bled like a stuck pig. But…The kid was a little b——. He was pushing himself into my clippers to make them cut him. He also kept trying to slip his hand into my scissors…
So anyway, my boss came over to examine what was causing this woman to flip out. He is Italian. So, in a very passionate and exaggerated fashion, he fired me on the spot. Right in front of the mom. He said he had never seen anything like it. He then told the woman that we were sorry, free haircut.
She said she would never be back. That seemed about right. She stormed out. Dragging her little bloody bratty child behind her.
I started to collect my gear to complete the firing process. My boss turned to me and said ‘What the f— are you doing? This is a busy Saturday!! You think I am going to fire you over an $8 kids hair cut and leave all these customers waiting? That kid was a little s—. I’m not going to fire you about that. Get the F— back to work.’
That woman was never seen again. I made record tips that day. My next customer said it was hilarious to watch the kid mess up my day, then to watch me get fired and unfired and then he gave me a $20 tip.
My boss gave me a bottle of homemade wine that we drank in the bathroom of the barber shop after the day was over.”
When In Doubt, Just Escape The Situation
“My grandmother told me this story from when she was younger:
She was an orphan and so when she turned 17 she went to London to learn how to cut hair, at the institute there. In her first week, she had this old woman come in to get her hair curled. My grandmother put her hair in curlers and put her under the heat helmet and went out for a cigarette for a bit.
When she came back in and began to remove the curlers, she realized that the woman’s hair wasn’t coming off the curlers, it was just coming off with them… my grandmother had burned the woman’s hair off. She realized this about 2 curlers in, calmly put the cover back over the woman’s hair and told her to wait just a moment. She walked out the door, got on a train and never returned. Classy Grandma, classy.”
Most Loving Hairdresser On The Planet
“When my mother’s breast cancer was diagnosed, she told her hairdresser at the salon before she told the family. (The administrator who phoned her up to come and get her test results at the hospital’s oncology ward rather than at her GP wasn’t exactly subtle, it turns out).
Her hairdresser told my mum to call her the first time during treatment that she noticed hair on the pillow. She turned up at home the same day she got the call, and spent all afternoon with my mother, chatting, cutting her hair in gradually shorter lengths, massaging her and generally helping my mum feel wonderful about herself while she removed all of my ex-wife’s hair.
She went through a catalogue of wigs with my mum and helped her pick out one that would suit her most and ordered it for her. She also taught her how to tie a shawl/bandana to use in the short-term.
She would not accept a penny, despite spending hours with my mother. I think it made the whole thing a great deal more bearable, and I still want to thank her every time I think of it.”