For some people, there's no single person they hate more than their ex. Some flames fizzle out, others crash and burn in spectacular fashion. The people in these stories are definitely the latter. While some brush themselves off and move on from a breakup these folks not only get over...they get revenge.
"Okay, so my ex tried to cheat on me with a mutual friend of ours. The ex I can at least respect to some extent for being honest about it, so I just treated him like he died, blocked on everything, refused to acknowledge his existence, he tried to come into my work when I used to bartend to talk to me and I just straight up ignored him until the bouncer came and kicked him out.
The friend, on the other hand, refused to admit she did anything despite me having proof that she initiated the texting, and brought it up in the first place. So I waited a while to take my revenge out on her.
A year later, I see via Instagram that she's dating a new guy. Gave it a few more months to make sure things were more than just a fling and then I started making it a point to stop in at bars by myself on the weekend for a drink. Guys would come up and hit on me and I'd give out my ex friend's name along with her phone number with the intention that her phone would be blowing up with 'Hey _, this is Matt. We met at the bar a couple nights ago. How are you?' Not sure if this had anything to do with it or not, but she was single a month after I started handing out her number."
"He repeatedly cheated on me with multiple women so I had my pregnant roommate pee on a test and then just dropped it at his front door. No note, no way to know who it came from. The panic was real and I got to witness it in person and through his best friend. He found out I was in the ER (I have some chronic health issues) but he thought it was because I was pregnant. He showed up and started hounding the doctor for answers and tests.
I told him no I was not pregnant, and he disappeared from my life after that. But according to his friend, it took a long time to get through his list of other girls in his attempt to find his potential baby mama. Unfortunately most were hook ups on tinder so he couldn’t contact most of them. I moved shortly after, so as far as I know, he still thinks he’s got a kid out there somewhere."
"I'm usually a reasonable guy about breakups and have actually maintained friendship with most of my exes. My most recent one however, stung hard. We were together for about 5 months with not a single issue and seemingly endless good times. Heck, it was the best relationship I had ever been in. One day she just decided she was having relationship anxiety and said she had to end it, but obviously still valued me as a person, wanted to be friends, all that stuff.
We had spoken on and off the next few weeks and it was actually kind of nice. I honestly believed that she couldn't control the stress she was getting from the relationship but still cared. Then she messaged me one day about this concert we had been planning on seeing together. It was her favorite band and tickets sold out within minutes, but I recalled vividly how excited and thankful she was when I showed her I had picked us up a pair. In good spirits, I felt she deserved them, as I was not comfortable with going to a show with her.
Well within hours of me dropping off the tickets, I was unfriended on Facebook, blocked on g-chat, and essentially cut from her life. The breakup sucked, but at least I thought I understood it. Now everything seemed cheap and I just felt used. I wound up calling the ticket office and reporting my tickets stolen. Her tickets were voided and I went to the show with another girl. The night of the show, it was pouring rain and the line was backed up multiple blocks, and who was behind us in line but my ex and another dude, waiting to use the tickets I paid for. It wasn't much, but watching her stand in the freezing rain as the ticket checker told her that her tickets weren't valid as I walked in before with another girl was satisfying to say the least."
"I was with my ex for just shy of a year before she dumped me out of the blue claiming that she could not handle my depression and me being stressed over her wanting to buy 40s and see dirt races before us paying bills. Well, I was hopelessly in love with her and about to propose to her with a ring I could not return. You could imagine how I felt.
Two months prior to the break up she goes on about how much we need a different car. We get a car in my name because she had bad credit and it's a used car with a massive $450 monthly payment which we thought we could afford. After we break up, we agree to have her keep the car, and she just stops making payments and I have to be on her case about it like a child. The only reason I wasn't paying on it was because I was going bankrupt as a result of not being able to afford the car among other things. I told the loan company that I was going bankrupt, the possible locations at different times of the day of the car and to repossess it ASAP.
Well nothing felt better than when almost a year after she dumped me I got the letter in the mail from the loan company saying the car was repossessed and auctioned off. Enclosed in that piece of mail was a $250 check for the excess of what paid the car off. I do not feel an ounce of guilt for the way she destroyed me."
"My last girlfriend dumped me completely out of the blue. We were living together, talking about our future and all that and then from one day to the next she just changed her mind. For the first couple of months I was heartbroken, a mess really. Then I got angry. Anger became my go-to emotion and it was what got me through.
We both volunteered at the same place, so I would see her once in a while, and she'd be all sweet and 'I hope you're doing good.' I hated her.
Then I got to thinking, what was the best way to hurt her like she had hurt me? Well, she's a very social person, it's important to her to be on good terms with everyone. So it was so simple to hurt her, just deny her that.
At first, I actively avoided her. Then I made sure we would be in the same place at the same time. When she would talk to me I'd answer with a yes, no, mhm or nod. That was all she'd get. She was getting frustrated. One of her friends came to ask me to be nice. Forget that. I kept it up till she finally broke down and cried in front of me. She reached out for me and I shrugged her off like she was dirty.
I felt free, finally! I think the perfect revenge has to fit the recipient and in this case, cutting her off socially was absolutely the way to go."
"I was doing live sound for one of my ex's favorite bands. I had a pretty big chunk of control in the venue. The surprise was me giving her the ability to meet the band and hang out-afterwards. It was an early anniversary gift. The doors had opened for the show, and she was nowhere to be found.
About an hour and a half goes by and I end up seeing her with some guy near a merch table. We made eye contact and she started tearing up. I knew this was the end. She ended up telling me that she's been sleeping with this guy for the past few months or so. Completely lied to me and figured that night would be the best time to tell me. I told her 'Good luck' and I had her kicked out by one of our staff members.
I got a few of my friends to help us get her banned from a few of her favorite local venues. She called me for a bit, just to ask If I could help her get back in. Never looked back."
"For a few years, her family was trying to convince her to just get a radiology tech certification and get a job because she still hadn't done anything with her life at 27. She hated the idea of working in a hospital or a doctor's office, and her 'passion' was always with all things fashion. So when she attempted to go to college for fashion design, I had written her a completely fictional admissions letter which pretty much tugged at the strings of many, many hearts (think the movie Rudy, but with a Latino girl that took care of five siblings with only one parent who worked 24 hours).
So when she broke up with me over something completely ridiculous (it was because I did not have a credit card with the $900 balance she needed to rent a car), I had a moment and called up every admissions department of the colleges she applied to and told them that the letter was mine and that it was completely fake.
Then, I googled 'medical certifications' and went to every single school that advertises relentlessly on the internet. I filled in her contact information for all of them (I think there was close to nine).
She wasn't happy about it, but I don't think she ever put two and two together.
Oh, and she still hasn't done anything with her life."
"I found out my girlfriend of over a year was cheating on me; at the time we had just started living together and discussing marriage. She was in her senior year in a very challenging university program, and I was used to giving her the time she needs to work on school. Over a weekend it seemed her personality changed, she became very negative and irrationally hostile towards me. When I confronted her, she blamed it on stress and homework load, and that she was going to have to pull some all-nighters. I bought her a small bouquet to leave on her desk at school to surprise her and show her some support while she worked hard on her studies and planned on delivering it that night. When I got to her desk around midnight, I found a single red rose in a vase on her desk, and she was nowhere to be found. I decided this was more than suspicious, so I decided to stay calm, keep my mouth shut, and investigate. Two days later, I had all the proof (including personally witnessing) I needed that she was cheating on me with another student in her program at the university. So I stayed calm and kept my mouth shut.
I spent the next few nights finding out everything I could about the guy, I found his desk at school, I could more or less tell when they were together from my girlfriend’s texts, so I kept checking his desk at school until one day I hit the jackpot, dude left his laptop. I waited until no one was looking and installed some remote access software. I work in I.T. so I had a hard time keeping a straight face when my girlfriend told me she had a 'friend' who 'lost' his semester project on his computer and his programs weren't opening any of the file extensions he normally used. I told her to bring me his laptop, and his backup data and I would see what I could do. I made them believe that not only did he lose his entire semester project, but that his backup was corrupted, too, with no way to recover it. Furthermore, his files had infected her computer, and she had lost her project as well. She and her 'friend' tried to get me to vouch for them, so they could get an extension from their professor.
I went in and looked the professor dead in the eye and told him that (paraphrasing) that officially, I have to support my girlfriend, but off the record, I don't think she or her friend did much work on the project and are just trying to save their hides. They scrambled and were practically killing themselves trying to re-construct their projects in time, but they kept having the worst luck with their computers and ultimately failed their semesters. I broke up with her as soon as I was sure she had failed, never let on that I knew about the other guy."
"Caught my ex of eight years balls deep in some 18-year-old college freshman (he was 28). I decided to come home from work on my lunch break to surprise my boyfriend. I saw a pair of shoes in my foyer that did not belong to me or my ex and I figured I was going to catch him cheating. I went to the garage, grabbed an air horn and my 12 gauge. Then, I walked in the bedroom with the horn and screamed 'PARTY ALARM!' Both of them lost all the color in their bodies. I then explained that they would both need to leave my house immediately. Kicked them both out on the street with nothing on, then called the cops for public indecency. By the time my ex came back from his stint in jail, all of his junk was on the lawn."
"Me: gay dude, 19 at the time. Him: moron, 16 at the time.
I met Gary in college, and we began an intense relationship; we spent every day together, we took the same classes, went on dates. Months later, my friend clues me in that her floozy coworker was bragging about his new boyfriend... Gary. I was utterly aghast. I was out for unholy revenge.
So I never could muster enough guilt to feel bad about the whole thing. But I'm older now and I know the best revenge is living well... or something.
Later that fall, I tripped him and he fell on his butt. And then I flipped him off without saying a word.
Tried to out him to his homophobic parents. I called his house and left a message on his machine something like, 'Listen here, bud. I'm going to get tested, and you better hope it comes back clean.' Apparently he intercepted the message, but I took great satisfaction in knowing the fear he must have felt. The best part is he cheated on his next bf in the exact same fashion and that guy did the exact same thing as me, only this time he wasn't so quick and parents kicked him out, forcing him to move to California.
Cracked his ceramics finale, making it look like a kiln mishap. He received reduced credit."
"My friend and his ex were middle school to high school sweet hearts until senior year when she dumped him out of the blue for some 'College guy' that she would brag about. So fast-forward a month or two, and she's super wasted at a party they're both at. Turns out Mr. College Guy being as classy and cool as he was ended up cheating on her right in front of her, not a subtle guy apparently. So she's crying on her ex (My buddy's) shoulder, and he can tell she's wasted, so he takes her to the room where everyone had thrown their coats. Proceeds to lock the door and get it on with her. After the deed was done she passed out on the floor. While she's asleep he squats over her and takes a HUGE dump on her chest, picks up his coat, her clothes, and her coat and leaves the room with the door wide open. This was in the middle of winter in the Midwest. He left the party and for the rest of the school year they called her Poop Deck or something saying she sunk the boat of her awesome relationship and was pooped on for it... literally."
"I dated a guy for a short while. Started as a fling but I developed strong feelings for him and asked up front how I felt. If he wasn't committed then we needed to end things and just be friends before it got any deeper. He said he was okay with it so we continued sleeping together and got into more of a relationship (without a title). He spent the night with me one night and after some pretty amazing whoopee, he held me for hours and we just talked until the sun came up (very mushy, I know) during which he told me he was completely over his ex, wanted nothing to do with the cheating floozy, and loved being with me because I was so low-key, anti-drama, chill that he'd needed. Two days later his best friend calls me up and tells me he had a little sleepover with his ex the night after he was with me. So I went to his house, cut up his sheets and poured three gallons of bleach and a gallon of liquid detergent (very slimy) all over his brand new memory foam mattress. Then I wrote in Sharpie on the wall 'Wash your sheets between floozies!'"
"One of my old friend’s exes unexpectedly dumped her while they were sharing an apartment and a job she had landed him. They spent a few weeks living together broken up, and he wasted no time going on new dates.
My friend decided to rename the petty game. She began by cutting his sneaker laces slightly shorter and recapping them so that they seemed to have shrunk. One morning, she hid all of his socks while he was running late for work. He became increasingly frustrated while searching the apartment, so she sent him to check the dryer while she placed ALL of his socks in the middle of the hamper he’d been checking for the past 20 minutes.
Needless to say he was dumbfounded when he found them later. Perhaps the most lethal troll was about two weeks after they’d broken up when she added Chardonnay to his dirty water pipe prior to him returning from his date. He immediately plopped down on the couch and took a huge rip when he got home, and she just watched like an absolute savage as he repeatedly hit the pipe, utterly confused as to why it was roasting his lungs."
"After finding out my then boyfriend of two years had cheated on me with multiple girls I was devastated. Without a blink I printed off 53 copies of his weenier (from pictures he had sent me) and hid them around his house hiding them in boxes of Christmas decorations, under his mother’s pillow, inside of his fathers pill bottle. Just about anywhere I knew his youngest sister couldn’t get into. I was 16 and full of rage. Considering that his mother and father enabled the behavior of their son and called me for months after to forgive him because 'it’s in the past,' I don’t regret a thing."
"I had a psycho ex who was really into gardening. He was a pathological liar (lied about his job, his family, his age, who he voted for, etc) and he loved to grow pumpkins for Halloween. Well... after I found out about all his lies, I ended it, and he agreed I could come get my stuff from his place while he was at work. This particular year, he only had one pumpkin that ended up doing well. So I ripped it out of the ground, smashed it to pieces, and put it under his covers like in The Godfather. Right on his side of the bed. Dirt and all."
"I'd been seeing a guy for about a month, and he was telling me he wanted to sleep with me, but I wasn't ready for that and thought it was too soon in the relationship anyway.
On a Friday morning, I get to class and he breaks up with me via text!
I find out from a his best friend, who I'd gotten on with really well, that he'd already asked another girl out and was taking her out that night. My best friend offers me her spare ticket to a rock gig in town for that night and I go. When I get there, HE is there with his new girl, and his best friend. When HE goes off to get a drink, I happen to bump into his new girl, not intentionally, and she asks how I know him. I tell her he dumped me that morning so he could go out with her, because I wasn't ready to sleep with him. She dumps him on the spot and I ask her if she'd like to join me instead (I'm bi and she was hot, so what the heck), she agrees, and after a while his best friend joins us. I dance with, and make out with, his 'new' girlfriend and best friend right in front of him. He sulks for a while, looking absolutely livid, and leaves about an hour later.
So... I kinda stole his girl and his friend. Never heard from the ex ever again. Good riddance though."