Sometimes the connection just isn't there and people don't know how to end a relationship. So they end up dumping someone over something stupid or something the other person can't control. But these reasons are entertaining, to say the least!
I Guess Size Really Does Matter
“So I met a great girl a few years ago. She was tall, slim, very very pretty. Her mother was a model and her father was a successful businessman. I mean, her family was absolutely filthy rich. She was very smart, modest and sweet.
So one time I had to be on my own for Christmas Day, a few years back and she came by with a Christmas dinner on a plate and just dropped it off for me. She was genuinely really into me and the type to stick to a guy when she likes him – but not in a clingy way. Which is good.
Unfortunately, she had quite big feet. Over it.”
Well He Unfortunately Got His Karma
“I went on a blind date with a woman who told me that she had Cystic Fibrosis. I didn’t know what it was, but it sounded really bad. She was my age, about 30, but she looked like she was in her mid-to-late fifties.
I could see that she probably wasn’t going to last more than 10 more years, and I couldn’t see why I should get myself emotionally involved in someone who would inevitably give me a lot of heartache. So when she left me a couple of messages after the date asking me to call, I ignored her. I know, terrible of me.
Fast forward to today, and I am currently the father of a 6-year-old girl with…Cystic Fibrosis. Neither my wife nor I knew of any family history of CF, and fetal tests did not pick up the disease (her variation is very uncommon), so we were completely blindsided.
So I guess I got what I deserved for being shallow and petty. Or more accurately, I got off scot-free, and my daughter got what I deserved…”
He Was The ‘Ethan Craft’ In The Relationship…
“This guy I was dating, actually went to the ‘dumb’ university in my town and I went to the good one. We laughed off the jokes, but it became clear over time that he wasn’t the smartest.
We were walking around at night and we heard buzzing from the telephone wires above. He said ‘I’m glad none of you smoke’ to my friends and they were like ‘huh?’
Well, I guess he thought electricity caught on fire like a gas leak?
Poor dumb soul…”
She Had A Lot Of ‘Favorite’ Bands…
“This girl I dated would refer to every band that came to our area as her favorite band. Suspicious right?
An example of this would be her saying: ‘Oh Foo Fighters are coming? They’re like my favorite band!’ And then if you asked her to name a song, guess what…she couldn’t!
Plus she thought she was a special snowflake in life when in reality she was just as normal and boring as the rest of us.
I couldn’t handle her lack of self-awareness, so I ended it.”
He Beat Her To The Punch!
“Back in the day, in sixth grade, I was on a swim team and I was dating this girl named Rachel. We had dated on and off like 3 times in the time span of a summer.
The last time we were about to break up I was seeing all the warning signs I had seen in the past we hadn’t talked over AIM that whole weekend and she ignored me before walking into the locker room Monday to get ready for practice.
Then while getting changed my friend came up to me and stated something along the lines of, ‘Hey dude, so Rachel wanted me to tell you something’ and I stopped him mid-sentence and said, “Wait! You go tell Rachel that I’m breaking up with her and we’re done forever!” My friend was just like, ‘Oh dayuuuuumm!’ And ran off to carry out my message.
Alas, despite my pre teen locker room rebellion, we all went about practice like nothing had changed with Rachel and I saying about as many things as we would ever say when we were ‘dating’. Good ol’ middle school relationships!”
I Mean She Lied Straight To His Face…
“I made her swear that she wouldn’t smoke anything at the concert we were going to. She knew it bugged the heck out of me and I just wanted her to respect me.
Well, while I was up in the balcony and she was in the mosh pit (I had a recent back injury), I saw her accept some drug paraphernalia from three different people. Her brother confirmed that she was toking up in the bathroom too via her friend.
After the show, I asked if she’d smoked any (because she REEKED of drugs) and she swore up and down that she hadn’t touched it, so I left her there and never called again!”
He Just Couldn’t Eat A Meal With Her Anymore…
“The way she held her silverware. I just… couldn’t deal. She was beautiful, caring, the sex was great, but when we had dinner and that full fist gripped the fork base, thumb resting along the neck like a neanderthal’s toddler, I could not be okay with it.
Also a note: She had experienced no hand/wrist injury, her penmanship was immaculate, and she could even use chopsticks without any issues. There was no reason for this other than she’d decided at an early age, to never bother learning how to properly man utensils.
Every ounce of attraction I felt for her plummeted when trying to have a meal with her.
I tried to come up with a million other excuses as to why I couldn’t make it work, but honestly, that was the dealbreaker. I know this makes me a monster, I won’t deny what I am… but if you had lived my life and seen what I’ve seen, you very well could be a monster as well.
When I was in my teens this girl and her friend got dropped off to my place for us to hangout. I was old enough to have a car, they were not. (I was probably 16 or 17, they were probably 15 or 16?) and they wanted to get drunk and use drugs. I was all for it but they started demanding I pay for everything. Like they started telling me I have to go buy them an expensive bottle for them.
The last straw was when they said: ‘Take us to McDonald’s.’ I said: ‘I don’t eat that nasty stuff.’ They demanded I take them there anyways. So I did. As soon as they got out of the car I drove off. And I never talked to them again.”
So She Wasn’t Cool Enough For Him?
“It was 7th grade. I see a girl sitting alone at lunch and I decide to make friends with her. I think she’s cute and she seems to like me, so I figure hey, why not ask her to be my girlfriend? So I do and she shyly agrees. We keep eating lunch together for a few days, and then I tell my friends I have a girlfriend.
The thing is, the moment we ‘started dating’ I started freaking out on the inside. What will people think of me? Are they going to think I’m even less cool because she isn’t cool enough? Am I stuck with this person? I feel trapped. I was a very stupid, insecure and petty kid. And frankly, I’m glad she didn’t have anything more to do with me after we broke up a week later for her sake looking back.
The poor girl was already shy and then I went and did that to her. I barely ever knew her, but I’ll always wonder how that affected her and if she’s okay nowadays.”
Lack Of Texting Skills Is A Big Pet Peeve For This Dude
“We weren’t a couple but we had gone on a few dates.
I would always have to text her first, then she would respond for a bit then leave the conversation hanging. So I was always left with the awkward choice of simply forgetting about what question/ statement she ignored or double texting her and feeling like a thirsty loser. For the record, we always had a good time in person and she expressed a lot of interest in me too. It was just the fact that she had, what I perceived as, bad texting etiquette that I stopped going on dates with her.
I guess I wasn’t willing to move forward without, what I considered, the amount of communication necessary for a new couple. Was I overreacting?
To this day I still doubt my decision…”
Super Clingy Guy Just Didn’t Get The Hint
“He wouldn’t leave my house! I was living with my parents at the time and he would occasionally come over, hang out, share a meal, whatever.
But he would never leave!
We would say really obvious things like, ‘The family needs to go run errands now’ or ‘I have some stuff I need to get to’… And we would literally walk him to the door and he would just stand there not taking the hint, probably secretly hoping he could come along for the errands or silently hang out while we live our lives.
It affected my whole family because he was so intrusive. Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore and broke it off. I mean, he was a nice guy that came from a good family.
Like it wasn’t like our home was some sort of safe haven for him… He was just ultra clingy. This was after dating for literally a matter of weeks. Sigh.”
He Now Regrets Ending It With Her Over Cigars
“I broke up with someone who was basically the woman of my dreams. She had these blue eyes that I loved and other features I am attracted to, she was a total nerd into all the typical sci-fi movies and TV shows, she was fun, intelligent and affectionate in just the right way. It felt right and she accepted me even with my personal quirks, being awkward and socially inept.
Well, one day I got off work with some time to swing by her work and see her and she was outside in her break smoking a cigar. I really dislike smoking and it’s not a thing she did at the time.
She explained that she was stressed because her father who was a bit of a deadbeat came around and was causing her some trouble and she just wanted to try something for her nerves. I wasn’t having it. I don’t know how I explained it but she didn’t seem to believe that’s all it was that was causing my decision and everyone else told me I was stupid and I regretted it pretty quickly afterward. She wanted nothing to do with me afterward and it’s haunted me ever since. I got with one other person afterward, my first girlfriend from high school but that didn’t work out and I have not been with anyone for three or four years.
This all happened in my early 20’s and all the wallowing I did in my own head made my social skills worse and I think I’ll never be as happy as I was with her again.”
She Actually Seemed A Bit Psycho Though…
“She would be all about getting it on and then the next morning, she would guilt trip me for having sex with her because it’s not Christian… Rinse and repeat.
Also, she went dancing with some of my friends after we had decided to ‘spend time apart’ and she was upset I went somewhere without her.
She kissed her ex-boyfriend and likely had sex with him.
She did drugs one night and was mad that I didn’t stop her since she has an ‘addictive personality.’ Um…what?
Her dad was in a biker gang. Super scary…
I just needed to get out. She can go!”
Not The Free Crackers!
“Well, he ate my free crackers.
Way back when I was a poor undergrad, I was in the university dining hall and ran into the guy I was dating. I was there to cash in a voucher for free soup and, and wanted to be polite, so I asked if he wanted anything. He declined, saying that he wasn’t hungry. Along with my soup, I got two free packets of soda crackers.
So I sat down to eat and the guy just helps himself to my free crackers. MY FREE CRACKERS! He didn’t even ask. Yep…
So I broke up with him shortly after for various reasons, but the crackers really sealed the deal.”
She Was Already Planning The Wedding That Early On?
“I had a girl tell me (3 days into dating) that she had bought the fabric to make our wedding Kimonos and had already talked to a venue to perform a ceremony. According to the crazy girl, we were to have a traditional Japanese ceremony and then a tea ceremony instead of a reception. Another factor was that she was about 3 feet shorter than me, had super yellow teeth and long, long unkempt hair.
I was also 16 and she was graduating from college.
She already had a speech ready to talk to my parents, who hadn’t yet really accepted my dating women and as I previously said, we’d dated 3 days and known each other about 2 weeks.”
The Voice Actress That Didn’t Have An ‘Off’ Switch…
“I dated a voice actress for a while. At first, it was cool, but it got seriously annoying. I ended up dumping her.
It was great having someone mirror my passion for animation. It was great joking around with her. But she just had no ‘off’ switch. She was ALWAYS performing. ALWAYS doing voices.
We’d be having an intimate moment and she would bust out a perfect 70-year-old man voice. It seriously killed the mood.
She had a great set of pipes, she was a talented singer and could play so many voices. I’m talking a 70-year-old black woman or a 5-year-old white woman were equally easy voices for her. She could voice a toddler one moment then narrate the HR training videos the next.
Her inability to have a conversation like a normal person, and then her need to always be the center of attention even if the jokes she was making made no sense, eventually ended our relationship. What I admired most about her was that she had her own career and was passionate about it. But she couldn’t be herself, she always had to be someone else. She was cool but weird.
Also, she microwaved bacon instead of pan frying or baking it, I’m not down with that. So I broke up with her.”
Basing Things Off Of A Scene In A Movie
“It wasn’t me who broke up with her, but my best friend.
He and I had watched this one movie, some Italian guy dating a black girl? And the Italian guy’s elder told him that if the girl didn’t unlock the car door for him (from the inside of the car) before he made it around the vehicle to get in on their date, then she wasn’t the right girl for him? I don’t even remember the movie title, or why that little action could make a girl un-datable, but my guy friend adored the movie and made that a standard for the girls he dated.
When we started High School, this girl who he had been crushing on for years finally went out with him. She was pretty, intelligent, someone I would have liked to be friends with if I wasn’t a dork always hanging around guys my age instead of girls my age. They went out to the movies one night, my friend told me to keep my phone beside me and to not go to sleep in case he called. 2 hours later, he’s texting the heck out of my phone, saying she wasn’t the right girl for him.
I think you can guess why.”
Couldn’t Handle That Anime Life
“I absolutely hate anime! Not trying to rip on it, that’s just my brutally honest opinion. I don’t know why, but I just can’t stand it. Anyways, I didn’t have a problem with her loving anime, but I did have a problem with her forcing me to watch it all the time, saying ‘I’d grow to like it’, but if anything my disliking towards it only grew stronger. We couldn’t find something we both wanted to watch, no no, we had to watch anime. Screw you, Malin.
I guess by only saying ‘because she liked anime’ would seem like a very petty reason. But, I couldn’t live my life like that…”
Mom’s No-Bake Cookie Recipe Ignorance
“One time, I was making those no-bake cookies one night, where you have to boil the mixture of sugar, butter, and cocoa for a minute so that it sets up into cookies (after you add the oatmeal and peanut butter, of course).
My mom gave me this recipe, and it’s perfect. It’s also very clear that you HAVE TO let it boil for one minute or the cookies won’t set up.
So I’m making these cookies and it starts to boil, and she’s like, ‘You have gotta take it off! That’s not supposed to boil! I’m the woman I know what I’m doing blah blah blah!’ I mean, she was seriously going off and she made me take it off finally after about 35 seconds …
Those cookies never set up. Broke up with her the next day. Good freaking riddance!”
Oh He Backfired On Her In Such A Sweet Yet Savage Way
“I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. She had rules where I would have to send at least 5 photos a day, talk to her all day until she needed to sleep, and she’d accuse me of cheating if I didn’t text constantly. She once tried to dump me for taking a nap, as I was sleep deprived, from constantly meeting her demands. She had an entire entourage of guys around her but forced me to cut off contact with my female friends. It was awful.
Finally, she dumped me because she slept with another guy. I was devastated, but it was such a wonderful thing in retrospect. She called me four months later asking for me to be with her again, so I said yes, built her gusto up for four days, and dumped her.”
Way Too OCD For This Guy…
“She had a weird ‘tick’ where if any sort of noise other than speaking came out of my mouth she would visibly cringe and or tell me to stop.
Mind you, I cannot stand people who eat with their mouth open. I’m very sensitive to ‘sloppy mouth’. She was OCD. The smallest noise. Even a simple cough or a sneeze. ‘Ugh. That is disgusting.’ And because of it, she was a horrible kisser. Same thing. Any noise made during making out and it was just over for her. I couldn’t take it.
It made me hyper-aware of other people’s mouth noises. It’s too bad because she was actually a really great woman. Strange how no matter how perfect someone can be, all it takes is something like this to completely ruin it. Trivial? Yep. Not ashamed.”