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The Dominatrix

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The Dominatrix

When I first moved to NYC I got a job in a small film company. I have no idea how, but we got hired on a project for a writer/director who had a few rom-com hits and some TV shows in the 90's and early 00's. This was maybe a year or two after 'Louis' got big, so this director wanted to rekindle his career by doing a show modeled closely after his own life. Now, I'm sure it was someone in my company's job to read through the script before accepting the project, but it became evident to us this person had maybe just skimmed as we found ourselves every day of the shoot shocked at some of the material. The scene I remember the most is one is a BDSM scene. The scene was the actor/director lying is his bathtub being pissed on by a naked dominatrix while he and her also ad-lib a conversation sh_t-talking another, Very Famous Actor. It was meant to come off as humorous. Someone in the crew expressed some vague uncertainty about the legality of us filming the actress, who we knew was an actual dom in real life, actually peeing on him, so we agreed to make a rig with an enema bag and yellow Gatorade. The actress/dom was one of the tallest women I've ever seen and very beautiful. She arrives, is extremely nice, and greets the actor/director very warmly. We start to realize this this woman is his actual, irl dom. Nude scenes are always a bit uncomfortable, but with all of us knowing that we're filming a sexual scene between two people who have an irl sexual history, we were more uncomfortable than usual. We use a stripped down crew for the scene that's just me, two cam-ops, and a PA who is holding lighting equipment and can't actually see what's going on. The actor/director says 'action' and the scene starts. The ad-libbed dialogue between them starts light, and a little awkward but they gradually get more and more into it and the dialogue between them gets more intense. It starts to feel less and less like we're filming a scene and more like we're filming and actual sub/dom session. I realize that I'm unsure if the dom is actually using the fake-piss-rig (the end of which I had essentially gaff-taped to her labia, her idea, not mine), and that she may be actual, irl peeing on him as we film. The crew and I are peak-uncomfortable. The actor/director starts sh_t-talking the Very Famous Actor, to which the dom replies 'OH, YOU LIKE TO TALK SH_T HUH?? YOURE A SH_TTALKER?? MAYBE YOU WANT SOME SH_T IN YOUR MOUTH??' and then begins forcing his face into her bare _ss. As she keeps threatening to sh_t in his mouth as the crew and I are all looking at each other, wide eyed and in horror, with a look that says 'please god, don't let her actually do this'. Moments go by like small eternities. The tiny bathroom we're crammed in seems to be shrinking. The PA who can hear, but not actually see what's going on seems to be wretching a bit. Suddenly, from deep in this woman's _ss the actor/director yells a muffled 'CUT'. He gets up smiling, soaked in yellow Gatorade and possibly piss, and saying 'oh my god that was perfect, that was hilarious, great scene'. I think we all almost passed out from relief. We moved on to the next scene. Maybe the funniest thing about this was that the actor/director was CERTAIN Hulu was gonna scoop the show up. (Source)

Fear is the True Killer

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Fear is the True Killer

I was in a play where I was portraying a quadriplegic. Consequently, I couldn't use my arms, hands, or legs for much of anything. I was in a wheelchair and wearing track pants. In one scene, the lead actress sat on my lap and we kissed. At the time, my (now-ex) wife and I didn't have the most active of love lives. Now, the kiss was very professional. No tongues. Just a lingering, mouths-closed kiss made to look more intense than it was. Still, having this lovely woman on my lap and kissing her was nice. Very nice. The next scene involved me being almost completely nude while she photographed me. I lived in fear of a boner every night. Thankfully, the fear did the trick. Fear is the boner killer. (Source)

The Bass

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The Bass

It's not weird with someone you trust. I had to simulate sex on stage, me lying on my back on a table, him standing up. I'd known the guy since high school and, despite drama kids being notoriously horny and incestuous amongst their "theatre family", we never had any feelings between us. Fast forward to us in our twenties, we could commit to the scene and still joke about it later. My favorite memory about it is the day the director told us she was going to play some music during the scene to test out what she'd want to use onstage. So we were getting into it and all of a sudden, we hear the bass line from Seinfeld. It took forever for us to stop laughing and get back into serious sex mode. (Source)

Flattered

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Flattered

I did a role in a smaller movie where I was a gangster who couldn't get it up in a rape scene. The girl in question was in her bra and panties, so it was obviously up. So I was made to stand in the cold and take a piss (both are methods to prevent hardness). Went back to reshoot and we were good. The girl in scene told me she was flattered when she thanked me. (Source)

A Right Hook

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A Right Hook

I had a kiss scene in a movie where the girl punches me in the face off the bed and then follows me down and kisses me. About two takes in, she accidentally punched me in the face for real. Blood starts pouring out of my mouth, we actually have to stop to get me cleaned up. The kicker was that she had to do a bunch of close up shots kissing me, immediately after I stopped bleeding, so I guess that was payback? (Source)

Promiscuous

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Promiscuous

Most professionals can manage to separate acting from any real feeling, although theatre in general is full of drama (not just the on-stage kind) and sleeping around. I've dry-humped, kissed, etc. on stage and never really thought much of it because it was my job. I've had a couple of colleagues get creepy (especially in the more risqué shows) but they're few and far between. As for interesting stories, one guy I worked with told me that on the last night of our show, during his big kissing scene, the woman he was working with slipped him the tongue. She'd been hitting on him for weeks and was generally pretty promiscuous, so it didn't surprise me. He banged her at the cast party. (Source)

Just turned 18

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Just turned 18

I'm a male independent film actor and I've had several sex scenes, with women and men. When I was 21 I was lucky enough to land the lead role in a modestly budgeted film about a young man named Aiden who's girlfriend died in a car accident before the film starts - Aiden tries to bury his sorrows, mostly by drinking a lot of whiskey and sleeping with his newly deceased girlfriends little sister. As Aiden I shot several sex scenes with two different girls both of whom were really cool about the whole thing. The first one was a little awkward because it was in a corn field with her on top and me supporting us with nothing but a thin blanket between me and a bunch of cut corn stalks. It was also her 18th birthday, thankfully, as I can only imagine doing that scene with her father watching. The scene itself took about 2 hours to shoot, she wore underwear and pasties and I wore boxer shorts(our unmentionable bits were hidden under a blanket). I tried to be as respectful as possible and found it quiet easy to remain under control with the blinding lights and a dozen grown men watching my performance. How was it? Anti-climatic. The other scenes were interesting too, a confessional booth in a church during the girlfriends funeral for example. (Source)

A Real Horror

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A Real Horror

I was on the production crew for a live version of Rocky Horror Picture Show. There were the principle actors (Frank N Furter, Janet, Brad, etc), and a bunch of background players who stood around in the background doing like super slow-motion sexy poses and would come up for the singing and dancing parts. All of the background players were dressed in body stockings of various colors, and not much else. So, during one of the talky parts, the background players are posing, sometimes they would pair off to do slow-mo sexy times and one of they guys starts to slowly, agonizingly, painfully getting a sideways boner. Being in a lime green body stocking in front of a black background pretty much guarantees he has no where to hide. Every move this guy makes is making it worse. We're behind the scenes are f_cking dying. The audience is snickering a bit as well. This poor schlub is pretty much at full mast when BIG DANCE NUMBER begins. The few main actors who hadn't noticed now saw a lime green boner doing the Time-Warp again. The show pretty much stopped with the pelvic thrusts from all of the laughter. Fortunately, the exertion and actually trying to concentrate on dancing instead of boner control actually got him back at parade rest. There weren't any more events like that for the rest of the run, but my god that was funny. (Source)

In Love

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In Love

Finally, a question I can answer. I just had my first real on screen kiss after over 10 years in the business this past summer as an American actor, acting in the German "Katie Forde" television series. (long story) My first day, second scene, is a kiss. Honestly, it was a break up, kind of goodbye kiss, but the actress was beautiful and we did many takes, each time the kiss would get longer and more passionate. I started to think this beautiful German actress with super soft lips may be into me, her eye contact was too good to be acting right? Those kisses were too good to be faked right? So, even better than the kiss was the photos. We had an apartment in the movie, and they needed a bunch of photos of us as a couple to put in frames around the set. So we went around with a photographer and just changed clothes and kissed and cuddled and took photos for an hour. Boners were achieved. This where I fell in love and was convinced this actress was into me. She was not. It was pretty funny. I told the makeup lady and she was like "Oh honey, everyone falls in love with beautiful actresses, that's why they're actresses." (Source)

Curse the Costume Designers

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Curse the Costume Designers

This will probably get buried, but I was a stage actor for a couple of years and I have done numerous stage kisses. The best one was where I had to simulate receiving a blowjob on stage. The actress and I were really professional when we started and because we were so serious, nothing happened. But then we started getting more comfortable over time and because she was giving me the "blowjob" under the covers (so that the audience couldn't see what she was actually doing), she started getting a little more daring. Especially during performance nights. At first, totally professional, she'd go under the covers and bob her head over my crotch to make it look like a blowjob Then she started doing that while tickling my inner thighs, trying to get me to break character. Then she would tickle my balls through my boxers. Then another night she reached INTO my boxers and tickled my balls with the tips of her fingers. I paused but didn't break character. By closing night, we were very comfortable around each other and there is a tradition of sometimes playing around with a line or a prop in closing night as a prank between actors. She told me she had something special planned and I was pretty oblivious to not know what it was going to be. So closing night, she went under the covers, head above my crotch and I felt her hands fumbling with the fly of my costume boxers, and to my glee/horror I realized her actual intentions. But then, nothing. She bobbed her head above my crotch like all the previous nights and my dick remained in my boxers. After the show I had to ask her what she was trying to do. In a huff she said, "I wanted to give you an actual blowjob for our closing night, but the costume designers sewed your fly shut!" (Source)

The Handy

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The Handy

Dress rehearsals. Loose silky robes, boxers and cleavage were an erection's wet dream. Thanks to said loose silk robes and boxers I had no chance of hiding it from her. I was 17 at the time, it might as well have been a lead pipe poking her in the back. She knew. I knew she knew. She knew I knew she knew. I wanted to die but she didn't flip out. I mean it was dress rehearsals, it's not like we were mid-live performance. She could have called me out any time. As rehearsals go there were lots of starts and stops and resets. I'm trying not to poke her with it but I can't go anywhere and I'm telling myself that maybe she didn't notice after all. Then she reaches back and grabs it, she starts squeezing and slowly rubbing and I'm freaking the f_ck out. Our teacher is right there. Right f_cking there talking about...who gives a f_ck... So I obviously fired off about ten seconds in. She let's out a muted "oh damn" and pulls her hand away quickly. Teacher hears and asks what's wrong. She does the cough giggle and tells him it's nothing and he goes on droning away. We never talked about it. I tried once but she acted like it never happened. Best godd_mn Handy J I've ever gotten. (Source)

What's that Smell?

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What's that Smell?

Camera assistant here! I think that the majority of intimate scene I've worked on has "closed sets" which means that only the bare necessity of crew members would be present. It's always announced in a calm and quieter way to the crew that it's a closed set by the production department.. So people can shuffle away and give the actors some space. So, it's not like there's a massive amount of peepers watching the actors. Since I'm the one that slates the scene, and is kinda the last crew member by the actors before shooting, I'll always offer them mints. I worked with a handsome British actor that smelled HORRIBLY all the time. He was a heavy smoker, and was a bit of a naturalist. When he undressed before crawling into the bed, we all cringed. I offered them mints, and he looked at her offendedly, and said "did she tell you to do this? Did you really complain about me again??" and it took a few extra takes just to get their "chemistry" on track. Ugh. (Source)

The Right Spot

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The Right Spot

A tamer story I guess, but in 2012 I was Lysander in a production of Midsummer Night's Dream, and near the end while we're watching the play within the play, Hermia and I and Helena and Demetrius are all lounging on cushions looking like happy cuddly lovers, and I run my fingers down the back of Hermia's neck. Apparently, I hit just the right spot because she went bolt upright, shuddered slightly and goosebumps shot down her neck and arms. After adjusting herself, she leans over and whispers in my ear "DO NOT tell my husband that happened." (Source)

Treat it like the Art it is

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Treat it like the Art it is

Heh, I can answer this one! My first stage kiss was done in a very professional setting. The director was a graduate of NYU's Experimental Movement Theatre branch, so she knew her sh_t. The show was Heathers, and I was JD, so there was a sex scene and a few kisses with Veronica, the female lead and my counterpart onstage. The director treated the kisses a lot like one would treat stage combat. We went through them slowly and methodically-making sure not to cross any limits and this was of course after trust had been built between the girl and I.
The kisses themselves were almost surreal, like they were part of the art. It felt like executing a dance move or doing some blocking. It was just another thing I had to do as an actor, and if it meant anything at all-it was because it meant something to the character. The sex was mostly an erotic dance, and it was intense, yeah, but never exhilarating-it never gave me an erection or anything. I was sixteen at the time, so what with all of my hormones, I thought some trouble might arise in terms of a stray boner (the setting was '89, so I had some loose pants) but nope. Nothing. If dealt with correctly, there's really no sexual energy. (Source)

Awkwaaard

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Awkwaaard

15 year old me was roped into being Romeo in the school drama class production of Romeo and Juliet. The start of one scene had Juliet and I waking up in bed together, slightly suggestive but no big deal, at least not until one of my mates in the crowd yelled "stick it in her". (Source)

Allergies

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[1]: http://Not me but a friend of mine. He was supposed to do a kiss during this one scene, except just before their lips touched, the girl cries out

Allergies

Not me but a friend of mine. He was supposed to do a kiss during this one scene, except just before their lips touched, the girl cries out "I had peanut butter today!". Thank god she said something, because he was deathly allergic. (Source)

Honk Honk

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Honk Honk

Not me, but my fiancé. He had a sex scene in a movie, and the actress just happened to be a girl he went to college with . She was SUPER hot, but it was such a goofy scene, he didn't pop a boner (well... that I know of...) At the end of the scene his character finishes, and squeezes her boobs while yelling "honk honk!" Then he rolls over and says "Best ever babe!" To this day, I'll run up to him, squeeze his chest, yell "Honk honk! Best ever babe!" and run off into the night giggling. The funniest part of the whole thing was the audition. Since that scene was the main scene the character was in, his audition consisted of.... dry humping a bench in different ways for 30 minutes. Apparently they liked his dry humping best, and he got it! (Source)

Oppurtunity Knocks

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[1]: http://I was in Westside Story once in youth theatre, and the guy playing the lead was a total creep. There's a touching scene where he comes across the dead body of his love (maria) and he's supposed to kiss her gently goodbye, only this guy thought

Oppurtunity Knocks

I was in Westside Story once in youth theatre, and the guy playing the lead was a total creep. There's a touching scene where he comes across the dead body of his love (Maria) and he's supposed to kiss her gently goodbye, only this guy thought "what an opportunity" and stuck his tongue in. Director went apesh_t. (Source)

Take 20

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Take 20

I was Claudius in a high school production of Hamlet and we were doing a rehearsal of the introduction of Gertrude where she kisses her husband. The girl and me were ok friends and we'd kissed on stage before so it wasn't a huge deal, except one day we get stuck in a loop where one guy sucked at remembering his lines so we did it like 20 times and on the third run she just started shoving her tongue down my throat every take. On take 7 I had no idea what to do, by take 20 i was confused and horny and had no clue what to do with that information. (Source)

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