Guys are great, except when they're being creepy. These 13 women went to great lengths to get these crazy guys to leave them alone.
Grandma to the rescue
“I called his grandmother. I was working at a diner in college after moving back to my hometown. I reconnected with a childhood friend, had some polite conversation but maintained strict boundaries. Then he started showing up at my workplace. Every single day. And hit on me relentlessly. It got to the point where he would come in, buy a coffee or a soda, and then hang out for hours until my shift was over so he could follow me to my car. I wasn’t allowed to kick him out of the diner because ‘hey he’s a paying customer!’ And I didn’t think I could call the cops. I told him over and over and over again to leave me alone, but of course, nothing. At one point he went into the diner while I was in class (because of course he had memorized my schedule like a creepy little worm) and convinced my boss that he was my cousin and he had to get my phone number from her because ‘our’ grandmother had an accident. That was the final straw. I went home, called my great grandma and got her to pull his grandmother’s phone number out of her address book. We had a great talk and she put the beat down on him I guess, because I never saw him again after that.”
The obsessive ex
“After me and my ex broke up he stalked me for two years. He would text me every so often, and I would be polite and ask him how he was, then he would start to insult me when I didn’t want to hang out with him (he cheated on me with another girl). After getting sick of his random text messages I pretended that it wasn’t my number. When he messaged me I said, ‘who is this’ and he was like you know who it is. I replied with ‘I just got this number and guys are constantly texting it for this chick named —‘ my ex apologized and I never heard from him again.”
The big scary guy
“I had a guy who wouldn’t leave me alone at a San Diego trolley station. It was late at night and I was 17 and alone. I walked up to the biggest, scariest looking guy there and pretended like he was my friend. I even gave him a huge hug. Luckily, he immediately understood what was happening and played along with it. After about two minutes of me talking to the big dude, the creepy stalker guy left. I thanked the big dude profusely and he was super cool about it. He said I wasn’t the first girl he’s had to play along with in order to scare off a creeper.”
The call from the psychiatrist
“When I was a junior in high school, a friend of mine introduced me to one of his friends. I talked to him every now and then. He said he was interested in me and I politely let him know I didn’t reciprocate his feelings. Then the texts started. For a few weeks he would text me very explicit things constantly. This was before blocking was a thing. One night my dad saw I was upset and asked me what was wrong. I told him. My dad is a psychiatrist. He can stay alarmingly calm in almost any situation and he’s used to dealing with crazy people. So my dad ended up calling this guy and calmly explained to him that he needed to tell his parents about harassing me because the police were going to be showing up at his house soon. The guy started crying and I never heard from him again.”
Reading between the lines
“He kept writing me texts saying stuff like, ‘Baby we were meant to be together, if you give me a chance, please baby!’ (Which is douche code for: I want to f_ck you, why won’t you let me?) so I acted like a crazy person and sent him the lyrics to Bob Dylan’s ‘Changing of The Guards’ and gave him an in depth analysis on how these lyrics were a sign from some great cosmic being and made up bullshit about how I found connections in the lyrics to our new relationship. He totally f_cked off after that and never sent me another message. It was fun though. I totally recommend everyone act crazy when dealing with crazy.”
The celeb stalker
“I told a guy who wouldn’t leave me alone that I was obsessed with a celebrity who was sending me secret messages via paparazzi photos.”
The creepy, clingy guy
“I went on a date to the beach with this guy and he invited me to his house. We ate some food and afterwards he kissed me. It made me a little uncomfortable so I told him I had to go, and that I had plans. He tried to convince me to stay, and then said that I couldn’t leave until I said I would be his girlfriend. Red flags started going off and so I tried to keep the mood very light, and started to gather my things while saying things like like, ‘Oh, you really like me hey? That’s sweet….’ I went to leave and suddenly he’s in front of me, grabbing my wrists and asking me to be his girlfriend. Yeah, ok bud, whatever you say. I’m your girlfriend now. Unfortunately, he drove, so I told him my parents lived nearby (not true) and I would just walk there. I really didn’t want him to know where I lived at this point. He follows me out into the street, offering me a ride, trying to hold my hand and walk me home. So I just bolted. I broke a flip flop that day. I think he followed me for a while but I got far enough ahead of him. It was about two hour walk home so I think eventually he just gave up. It started raining on the way. I remember being in my bathing suit and a dress, holding my shoes, running in the rain and laughing about how much I’d rather be there on the side of the road than in that guy’s house for one more minute. We’ve been dating ever since! (JK, I broke up with him over text message when I got home. Apparently, it’s not so easy to force someone to be your girlfriend.)”
The boss with the broom
“I got my boss to shout at him. I worked in a Chinese shop just after I left school and this guy showed up every day for weeks begging me to go out with him, telling me how pretty I am etc. It got to the point where I was afraid to go to work because he’d started to hint that bad things could happen to girls who aren’t nice…so I told my boss (using my two words of Chinese and a lot of sign language because Wang spoke zero English) and when he came in she started shouting at him in Chinese. I want you to picture the scene. A six-foot man with muscles on his muscles being chased out of a tiny Chinese shop by an even tinier Chinese lady with a broom who is yelling at the top of her lungs. I’m pretty sure that the sea couldn’t have washed him clean of what she said to him. It’s a treasured memory to this day….”
The friendly smooch
“A guy at a party wouldn’t leave me alone and kept following me, always with his hand on my lower back. I told him I had a boyfriend, which I didn’t, and he called my bluff. I grabbed my nearest guy friend and went as far as kissing him to ‘prove’ he was my boyfriend. Thankfully, my friend followed my lead and the guy gave up.”
The stay at home mom
“This guy wouldn’t stop texting me after a horrible date, so I sent him a long text about how I couldn’t wait to get married because then I could ‘just have a bunch of babies and not have to get a job’ and how my only goal in life was to live off my husband’s money (he was obsessed with the idea that women only date men for their money, despite the fact that he was broke and lived with his mom). He stopped texting me immediately.”
The girl with a special talent
“I once told a guy at a party that his personality was so disgusting it made me want to vomit. He didn’t believe me, and continued to hit on me. So I voluntarily vomited on him just to get my point across.”
The creeper magnet
“I was in college (looked like a high schooler, was 21 and a senior in college), out at a bar/restaurant with some friends. I was well-known as a Creeper Magnet. You could drop me in a room with 100 guys, 99 perfectly reasonable human beings and 1 creeper, and the creeper, and no one else, would instantly make a beeline for me. Creeper comes up, all ‘Heeeeyyyy bebbeh,’ and there I am, drinking my Coke, like, ‘plz go away now.’ He sits down, makes himself comfortable, starts grilling me about what classes I like, what my plans are after graduation, the like. I’m giving one-word answers, looking for my friends to come rescue me from Creeper. Creeper asks if I know where I want to go to college, it occurs to me that he thinks I’m a high school student. Bonus Creeper points, the guy’s in his 30s. He very slyly offers to buy me a drink (nudge nudge the ‘special’ kind). I tell him, ‘If I want a drink I’ll buy MY OWN, since I’m a senior in COLLEGE.’ Little sonic boom as he vacated the stool. Yeah. I had a 30-something guy quit hitting on me because I WASN’T 17.”
A high-speed chase
“I was at a 24 hour restaurant by my self around 9 or 10 pm. It was the kind of place that had counters with barstools and free wifi, with a mix of locals and travelers. At one point I felt…watched…and I looked up to see a man staring and smiling at me. I thought maybe I had met him somewhere so I gave a quick polite smile and re-submerged myself in Reddit and my cheap meal. An hour and a half later, my phone battery died and I payed up and left. Well, he was there, in the parking lot, waiting for me, smiling and waving from his truck and motioning for me to come over. I was shocked and froze mid-step for a couple seconds, but then nervously shook my head no and turned away to unlock my car door. I heard the truck engine start and saw the bright beams of headlights flash on behind me as I quickly hopped in my car and sped out of there. I thought I’d made it clear I wasn’t interested, but when I saw a truck speeding along just behind me, I switched lanes just in case (even then thinking I must be paranoid, there were plenty of truckers on the road that night, it probably wasn’t him). The truck also switched lanes, all the while getting closer. I frantically swerved back to the other lane. So did the truck. By this time he was right behind me, flashing his brights, which only caused me to speed up. He swerved up next to my car and drove level with me while grinning and jovially waving for me to pull over. He chased me all over the road through town until until I turned at full speed without signaling or braking and skidded sideways down a side road, darted into a random driveway, turned off the car and hid crying and shaking for half an hour until I was sure he was gone.”