They always say be careful when it comes to online dating, especially with as many guys who are creeps out there. For these poor women, they share why their online dates should be cautionary tales for other women.
(Content has been edited for clarity)
At Least The Movie Was Great?
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“Before I met my current boyfriend, I went out on a few dates with guys from OkCupid. There was one guy who I thought was pretty cute so I decided to take a chance and go out with him. We went out for dinner which was fine until he started talking about his ex-fiancée who was a dancer on some popular tv show back in the Philippines who had a husband, so that already turned me off.
Then we went out to a movie, and he started to touch himself! Right in the theater! He just unzipped his pants and started going at it, and I was sitting next to him horrified! And he had the nerve to tell me I was the weird one because every reasonable person touches themselves in movie theaters…This was during the trailers by the way.
Then he tried to go at it with me in the theater which I reeeeeally wasn’t in the mood for, so I moved across the theater to enjoy the movie while he sat in his corner continuing his ‘alone time’ for all I know. We never saw each other again. The movie was great though!”
This Casual Date Turned Into The Fight Of Her Life
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“I had been chatting via email for three weeks with a guy who approached me on OKC. We went through the ‘get to know you’ phase and agreed to meet for coffee and conversation. This was my very first online dating experience, and I was extremely cautious. Everything went well; then he decided he wanted to talk more. We left the restaurant, and each got into our cars, and he followed me to the very public local park, pulling in behind my car. We chatted in a gazebo for a while; then he complained that he was cold. He wanted me to sit in his car with him so he could turn the heater on in the car. I agreed. As soon as I shut the car door on my side and turned to him, he ripped the front of my blouse, jerked my bra down, and latched onto the fleshy part of my chest with his mouth like some huge leech. I screamed and tried to push him away, but it only made it hurt more.
I finally got away from him, jumped out of the car, leaving my door open, counting on the few seconds it would take him to close it to give me a head start to escape. I tore through the park, but he was in hot pursuit. I tried everything I knew to lose him, but he stayed right behind me. I left the park and tried to lose him in the city to no avail. Back to the park, then I flew out a different entrance and finally lost him in city traffic. I was terrified. I am 65 years old, and he was 67. My chest had an area that was about six inches in diameter and coal black for two solid weeks. It took a month for the bruises to finally fade away. I couldn’t sleep for two weeks. My chest is large, and the pressure of one against the other as I laid on my side hurt too much to sleep. It took me five months to get up the nerve to meet someone again, but I’m so glad that I did. He’s wonderful, and we’ve been seeing each other for eight months now.”
She Definitely Went On A Date With A Serial Killer
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“Well, I had been chatting twice with this guy and met up with him for drinks.
So we’re talking, ordering our first drinks and he’s talking a lot about being an artist and the comfort zone. And how he likes to get people out of his comfort zone.
So he starts touching my leg, and asks: ‘Are you uncomfortable now?’ When I reply with ‘no,’ he asked if he could sniff my hair. This is all before the first drink came.
So he makes some more weird comments about my body and what he would like to do it. At a certain point, he’s looking at me, and I’m like: why are you staring? And he says, ‘I’m picturing you naked, your chest in particular.’ So then he starts rubbing his chest, acting like he’s aroused. The bar is looking at us, so I want to get the heck out. I mean, this guy is weird.
So as we’re leaving, he keeps on talking about his artistic career, and about how he fools around with his models, and that he wants to do a painting of me. But then he says: ‘You know what would be better? I could cut you open and paint your portrait with your intestines.’
So well, we’re still walking, I’m freaked out, and I want to go home. He stands in front of my home asking if he could kiss me. I say no. He then asks, ‘When will we meet again?’ I say never. He says: ‘Doesn’t matter, I know where you live.’
I went up, never turned on the lights in my living room and did that for the next week, hoping he would think I lived in another apartment.
So far, no one in my building has been murdered, and I haven’t seen him ever since.”
She Had To Make A Scene To Get Him Off Her Back
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“I went on a Match.com date to the movies years ago.
The guy was immediately sort of creepy (seemed perfectly normal via email of course), but I’d traveled a good 45 minutes to get there so I figured I’d at least watch the movie with him and pay for my ticket. He had this weird look in his eyes that screamed: ‘awkward 27-year-old that has never seen a woman naked and is creepily close to his mother.’
I sat down with him, and he put his hand on my leg. I moved his hand away. He put it back on my leg. I moved it away again. He got the hint, and we watched in silence for a little while. Later on, in the movie, he puts his hand back on my leg, but his fingers moved to my inner thigh (thank god I was wearing pants and not a skirt). I very quickly moved his hand and told him not to touch me again, or I’d get up and leave.
He just sort of chuckled and rolled his eyes and put his hand back on my leg. I slapped his hand away, stormed out of the theater, and he followed right after me going ‘What? What??? What’d I do???’
I had no intention of saying anything else to him, so when I was about halfway through the lobby, he put his hand on my shoulder and tried to stop me. I quietly told him that if he didn’t back off and stopped following me, I’d make a scene and that I had no intention of associating with him again. He, of course, grabs my wrist and I screamed at the top of my lungs ‘GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME!’
The whole place paused and looked at us, and some big guys close by got that stance that said that if he touched me again, they’d probably kick his butt for me.
I got out of there, went home, and he emailed and texted me no less than ten times a day for the next month. Classy.”
He Turned Out To Be The Worst Friend With No Benefits Whatsoever
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“The first and only time I decided to use Tinder I met the most toxic ‘friends with benefits’ ever. We hit it off amazingly at first and had the best conversation out of all the guys I matched with. He asked to hang out that night, and it seemed fine because he asked to bring his friend and then suggested I bring a friend for his friend too. Long story short, we all ended up at my apartment, and after his friend and my friend left (my friend left because my Tinder date kept hitting on her and she felt extremely uncomfortable), he ended up assaulting me. I know he heard and understood me when I refused to fool around without protection, yet he grabbed me and put his junk in me anyway. I just froze. I had been drinking and was terrified, so even though I wanted to kick him out of my bed, I just zoned out and waited for him to finish.
The next morning he leaves, and I think to myself that I’ll NEVER be speaking to this piece of crap ever again. And I didn’t…until he began to blow up my phone in every way you could think of: from calls to Facebook messages, he wouldn’t stop until I answered. He scared me quite a bit. His family has a lot of money and has a well-known name in the city I currently live in, and I was scared that if I were rude to him, he’d do something to retaliate. I tried telling him for weeks that I can’t do a casual FWB situation. He didn’t care. He played on my insecurities and seemed to know exactly the right things to say to ‘keep me around.’ Soon I began to have feelings for him, or so what I thought were feelings. In reality, it was me thinking that I needed him to feel worth something because, after months of contact with him, any ‘nice’ behavior from him was essentially viewed by me as the ultimate gift. I felt so wanted by him when he gave me any attention.
I was his human fleshlight. He treated me like crap. He never kissed me or cared if I got off. Heck, I don’t even think he thought I had a pretty face… he liked my body, but that’s it. He’d coerce me into things I didn’t want to do in bed regularly. I was an empty shell for him to use however he wanted to because any attention from him was what I wanted. For whatever reason, this felt like real affection to me…in hindsight, it’s freaking pathetic on my part. I never wanted this dynamic EVER. He ignored that and manipulated me and my feelings into doing whatever he wanted.
Eventually, I was no longer novel to him, so he didn’t find me worth chasing anymore. He moved on to the new ‘stock’ of freshman girls starting at the university…so young and naive. My friend recently saw him on a date with a young looking girl in a coffee shop. I hope to God she’s okay, and I feel so guilty for never reporting what he did to me. However, it would have been he said she said and because of his social status/power in the city I live in, he would have dragged my name through the dirt.”
He Had Some Sinister Thoughts About What He Was Going To Do To Her
“My sister was using Match.com and talked to this guy for a bit before agreeing to a date. He insisted on being a gentleman and picking her up from her house, and she didn’t think much of it and agreed. They go to dinner, and almost immediately he starts telling her how much he hates tattoos (she has a small one on her wrist) and that he saw she was Conservative-leaning and hated that. She asked him if he wanted to end the date early since they weren’t a good match (her tattoos and politics were on her profile but he asked her out anyway…?) but he said no, they should finish eating, so they kept eating in total silence. He then says he’s not ready to end the night and wants to go somewhere where they can talk more and decides on his office building. She’s a people pleaser and was stuck with no car so she went. They walk into the totally dark, empty building, and he starts muttering to himself and kind of laughing, ‘What the heck, man. What in the world are you thinking…’ and tells her they’re leaving and going somewhere else. She’s freaked out by now and doesn’t know where he’s driving her. He drives for like 30 min in dead silence up into the mountains outside town and suddenly pulls the car off the road. After minutes of silence, he does that nervous laugh again and says to himself, ‘Wh-what t are you thinking man. You can’t do this…’ He then says he’s taking her home and does. I have no idea what he was thinking of doing to her, but so glad he crazily talked himself out of it.”
A Little Too Intense
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“When I didn’t want to go on a second date, he sent me a photo of him cutting himself with blood everywhere titled, ‘I bleed for you.’ Uhhh nope.”
The Email She’ll Never Return
“Met a guy, chatted, he seemed relatively normal. We go for our first date in a pub. A well-lit pub. We’re having a couple drinks, talking and whatnot, I see his hands under the table, moving around. It cannot be. OH BUT IT IS. He was touching himself. Apparently, I was turning him on too much and he couldn’t help himself. Date ended pretty quickly after that. The followup is, when I got home he’d sent me an epically long email about how I was fat and ugly and a tease and a ho. Oh, and ended it with the phrase, ‘Don’t bother responding, because I will not read it.’ Done and done!”
Nope and NOPE
“I gave in and signed up for my first online dating site.
My first message came from a man quite a bit older than me.
It read, ‘Do you wanna come over and take a dump while I tweak your nips?’
I promptly deleted my account.”
He Wouldn’t Know How To Treat A Woman Like A Queen Even If Elsa Iced Him
“I met a guy on OkCupid. I went to meet him, and he asked me to drive us to a friend’s house first because he had to grab something (retrospectively, I think it was his dealer). We made our way to dinner, and all he could talk about was how poor he was and how no one respected liberal arts majors and just complaining about everything. The check came, and he put down a $10 bill (which wasn’t even enough to cover his half) and explained that was all he had until payday and the rest of the night had to be on me. He included a little quirky finger motion towards me at the word ‘you.’ The tasting event we had planned on going to was next door, and by this point, I needed a drink, so we went, and he ended up spilling his drink all over me. I had enough so I went to leave and he came in trying to kiss me. I forcibly removed him and told him to get someone else to drive him home.
For the next week, he kept texting me about how much fun he had and wanted to know when we were going to get to hang out again. I ignored them until he started getting upset and sending me harassing messages on OKC. I told him to leave me alone and reported him. The next few days I got pictures of his junk and messages saying that I was ‘just an ice queen in need of a good violating’ and I ‘don’t know what I’m missing’ and the like…eventually he stopped. Total winner. Stopped the online thing for a while after that.”
At Least He Was Honest
“I’ve got two.
First guy, I was in college and I worked a lot so decided to try a dating website. Met this guy online and he was super cool. We clicked and made plans to meet up after talking for awhile. He sends me a video. In it, he’s wearing a dog collar, gets himself off and licks it off of his hand. Just wasn’t what I was expecting to see.
Second guy, I’m a single mom and with work, I find it hard to meet people. This guy is super awesome. We talk for awhile before meeting up for dinner. While at the restaurant I run into my cousin’s wife and say hello. We talk for a bit and I introduce him as a friend of mine. After dinner, he comes back to my house (kiddo was at dad’s house for the night) after I made it clear no action was happening. We watch a little bit of Netflix and I fall asleep. Super sweet guy, he let’s me cuddle with him and doesn’t wake me up. We had great conversations and it was good. A few days later he tells me, ‘For the sake of being honest, I slept with your cousin’s wife recently and I snort prescription pain meds but I hope we can still go out.’ I politely declined.
Swore off internet dating after that. Met my current husband at work.”
After Kissing A Few Frogs She Gave Up On Finding A Prince
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“So far, I have dated a blind guy (who forgot to mention he was blind, I don’t have a problem with this, but the date was kind of weird), a racist dude who considered my accent obnoxious (on his profile, he said that he was an open-minded who loved to travel and meet new people from different parts of the world), a guy who was recently released from a psych ward because he suffered a mental breakdown, a 40-year-old guy who was still living with his ex (a 23-year-old girl), an Indian guy who just wanted a friend with benefits (sorry pal, too old for that mess), oh and the dude who said he had a girlfriend, but hey, it was ok to date other people because his girlfriend said she wanted an open relationship. And yeah, I’m forgetting many more.
Since it’s obvious I don’t know how to make good dating choices; I’m retired from that deal.”
Young and Naive
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“Several years ago, when I was 14, I started ‘dating’ a guy online that was 22 years old. I was shy and impressionable, and I latched onto anyone that would give me any attention or affection. Yes, he knew I was 14. I was rather naive about this whole thing, and it didn’t occur to me until much, much later about how creepy this guy was.
He would constantly talk about wanting to fool around with me, drink with me, and yes, even impregnate me. I shudder when I think about it to this day. He was creepy, but I didn’t see it at the time – I was in love.
I’m surprised that my parents didn’t catch on about this, but I can’t blame them, I was pretty secretive about it. Did some horrible things in front of a webcam that I’m not proud of. Thankfully my face was never shown so if he did end up taking pictures without my knowledge, they couldn’t be linked to me.
I eventually lost interest in him when I was 16 and latched onto a new guy, who was 19 at the time and lived in my hometown. The online guy promptly began to accuse me of ‘leading him on.’ It took me years to stop feeling guilty and realize that this dude was a creep and that it wasn’t my fault.”
“He’s Never Coming”
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“I had a female friend that was dating a guy she’d met online.
Things got pretty serious with this one guy, and he’d made plans to move several states over to her location. She was ecstatic, and all of her friends (myself included) planned to gather together to hang out so that we could meet him and help him move in.
The morning he was supposed to leave, he dropped off the face of the earth. He wouldn’t answer the phone. He wouldn’t answer texts. He had no presence online. So, we kind of all sat around with this girl while she continually freaked out about it. She didn’t know anyone who knew this guy in real life, so there was no way for her to find anything out. It got to the point where my girlfriend, who happened to know some people in this dude’s hometown, was trying to get people to knock on his door (since we did know his address).
Finally, a couple of hours after he should have arrived, he called her. His story was that he’d gotten the U-haul and loaded it, then fell asleep. He slept for half the day, then realized that he’d end up having to keep the truck for an extra day, which he couldn’t afford, so he decided to unload it and bring the truck back. He told her that he’d have to get some more money, and would come later.
All of her friends were pretty skeptical. I, in particular, was pretty sure that he’d never actually had any intention of moving after only a couple of hours of no contact from this dude.
The real stunner is that she didn’t dump him on the spot. She bought every single line of it.
After she’d gotten off the phone and told us what had ‘happened,’ we all just kind of sat there awkwardly for a while.
Finally, I looked over at her and said: ‘Girl, he’s never coming.’
He never did.”