These Are The Most Honest, Hilarious And Realistic Marriage Vows You Will Never Hear At A Wedding

No matter whose wedding it is, you'll most likely hear the classic vows with a few jokes thrown in here and there. But what would our vows look like if we said the brutally honest things that actually need to be promised? They might look a little something like these 20 truthful and sometimes hilarious wedding vows. 

The Forgiving Pair

I promise to never say "I forgive you," unless I mean it. –Frank Powell

The Hot And Cold Couple

I promise to split the difference on the thermostat. –Brad Pitt 

The Hangry Groom

I promise to make sure I'm not just hungry before I yell at you.

The Honest Truth About Appearances

I promise to not care if you get fat or skinny or old.

The Unspoken Vow

I promise to never flirt, lust or desire the attention of someone of the opposite sex. –Frank Powell

The shop-aholic

I promise to love you as much as I love my credit card.

The Expecting Bride

I promise to clarify my expectations. 

The Unbalancing Act

I promise to never expect a 50/50 marriage. –Frank Powell

The Never-Changing Love

I promise to love who you are today, not who I want you to be. –Frank Powell 

The Sacrificing Pop Star

I promise I will learn to love all of your favorite pop stars. 

The Loving Couple

I promise to love myself as much as I love you and to never expect you to complete me. –Michelle Horton 

The Promise Of Time

I promise to make time for you. –Michelle Horton

The Sacrificing Bride

I promise to comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win. 

The Hardworking Couple

I promise to honor your dreams and fears and to understand who you are. –Michelle Horton

The Nightmare Dreamer

I promise to understand you even when you are mad at me because of something that happened in a dream.

The Patient Duo

I promise to have patience through dark times. –Michelle Horton

The Ultimate Forgiveness

I promise to forgive you for who you are and to forgive myself for my flaws. –Michelle Horton

The Football Fanatic

I promise to love you even when you refuse to let me watch football. 

The Thorn On The Rose

You are my rose, and I promise to devote my life to being your dirt. –John Caprulo 

The Happy Couple

I promise to put your happiness before my own.