People sure spend a lot of time getting really petty revenge on others. Sometimes, it might not seem worth the effort, but that's never right. It ALWAYS feels good to get back at some prick, even for the most minor slights! That's why these stories are so satisfying. They aren't life-altering, but they are REALLY obnoxious and REALLY funny things to do to people that act like idiots to someone. Sit back and enjoy the very mean revenge plots people hatched to get even.
Don’t Mess With This Guy’s Soda!
“My roommate kept drinking my Diet Coke, so when he went to a lecture and I replaced the four legs on his rather heavy bed with four empty two-liter Coke bottles. He came back in, jumped backwards on to the bed and it smashed into the ground so hard it was heard two floors down on the other side of the building. In retrospect, thankfully his ankles weren’t under it at the time as it would probably have broken them.
My other roommate also kept drinking my Coke, so I pinned several sheets of newspaper across the front of his door while he was in his room. The first time he walked out, he pushed it out of the way and I started replacing it, several times a day. By the end of the second week, he was just walking straight through it. That’s when the revenge happened. I pinned several sheets as I had, but this time, I wedged the kitchen table against the wall. just on the other side of the paper. He walked right into it. He wasn’t pleased, to say the least, and there was a bit of blood and swelling for a few days but he didn’t touch my Diet Coke again.”
A Dad Looking Out For His Daughter
“My daughter lived with a guy for over a year. The relationship looked solid, despite some serious OCD that he refused to get treated for. He seemed nice and he made good money. I was thinking, ‘This kid may be my son-in-law someday. Okay, she could do worse.’
Earlier this year, she had to have minor surgery and the incision got infected. She was on her third stay in the hospital in less than a month. We were taking turns staying overnight with her, and it was the boyfriends’ turn. After she got to sleep, he packed up his stuff and left in the wee hours of the morning. She woke up at 4am, when they came to take blood, and found him gone. He had sent her a text breaking up with her. She called my wife, who called me as I was on my way to work. I turned around, called in to work, and picked up my wife. We spent the day at the hospital comforting my daughter and calling the boyfriend names.
Two weeks later, she’s out and healing, and he texts that he has packed up all her stuff for her to come pick up. There had still been no communication from him besides texts. Freaking coward. I take her and two of her friends to go get her stuff while he’s at work. While there, we took our revenge.
He’s a neat freak due to his OCD, so I made sure that every picture hanging on his wall was slightly tilted, his blinds were open (he always kept them closed) and pulled up to different heights. I rearranged the items on his dresser, emptied the ice trays in his freezer and put them back in empty, and broke the tips off all the pencils in his pencil holder. I moved the bookmarks he had in some books, including the one he had in a dictionary. That one, I moved to the Cow- page, and highlighted the word ‘coward.’ I unscrewed about half the lightbulbs in the apartment, I unhooked several of the clips holding his shower curtain, I hid his only pair of oven mitts, and unscrewed the lid of his salt shaker. I went into his carefully organized closet and got a pair of khakis. I pulled them off the hanger, turned them inside out, and rehung them on a hanger covered by a shirt, then put the hanger on the rod backwards. One of the girls got on his computer and changed his background to a drawing comparing his private to other, larger ones. We also ate the key lime pie that his mother made him that was in the refrigerator, and my daughter rolled every pair of clean socks he had in the litter box, then folded them and put them back in the drawer.
My daughter tells me her friends were impressed with the lengths I went to: ‘Your Dad’s a savage!'”
Surprise Bilingual
“I worked at blockbuster as a teenager and a guy and his girlfriend came in. He had a late fee and gave me a sob story about his car breaking down and not being able to return it on time. I waived his late fee. He then turned to his girlfriend and said in Spanish, ‘I just told this idiot that my car broke down. I told you they’d believe it.’
I said, ‘I’m sorry that you got the employee who knows Spanish, I’ve put the fee back on your account. That will be $8.46.'”
Revenge Donuts
“I had a roommate that would constantly be eating. When she wasn’t eating, she’d find something to eat and if she didn’t have anything to eat, she’d take food from us. She once ate out the entirety of my mates food in the fridge and she took a ton of frozen food from me.
Later, another flatmate complained how some of her food went missing and she sided with the thief, thus blaming me and me mate for taking it. So now there’s a divide in the apartment all because of this one person stealing food from us.
So, as revenge, we bought a box of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and filled them with a mixture of Tabasco, ground coffee beans and hummus and left them unprovoked in our own cupboards in the kitchen. When we went back to the kitchen a day later, sure enough, the box had been opened and it was doughnut short. She had opened it and eaten the cursed doughnut.
I wish I could’ve seen her face as she took that bite.”
Faxin’ It Old School
“Way back before emails were a thing, spammers would send junk faxes. It was especially annoying because you had to buy fax paper only for them to use it up spamming you with unsolicited nonsense. It cost ME to receive their junk!
My response was to write a single line reply, ‘Please stop sending me unsolicited faxes, it wastes fax paper,’ on a sheet of blank paper, and fax it back.
But before hitting send, I’d tape another sheet or two to the bottom of mine, then join that to the first sheet to form a loop of paper, thus creating an infinite fax. For maximum effect, I’d send it outside office hours, when nobody was around to pull the plug (and when phone calls were cheapest).
I reckon a five minute call was enough to have their fax machine spilling paper all over the floor (fax machines are fast when they’re advancing the sheet). Just wish I could have seen their face the next morning!”
A Child’s “Innocence”
“So, this was just a quick thing that just happened and I felt like I should share it.
Today, I’m babysitting this kid who is like a little brother to me. While he’s ten years old, he has a super baby face and is short on top of that, so everyone thinks he’s actually between 6-8 years old. He also knows all kinds of curse words, and knows when it’s appropriate to say them. This is important for the story.
Today, we ate out at a nice, delicious restaurant. I brought my dog, so we could only eat outside in the small patio space, but it was still super nice; save for these super loud three men.
Now, to some people it wouldn’t be a big deal what they were doing, but it was getting on my nerves. These guys weren’t just loud, but rude, making huge scary noises that confused my dog, not to mention making comments about private parts, saying things like. ‘yeah, she’s Asian so you know I love her,’ and other completely inappropriate things. There were also smoking even though it was a no smoking area. And of course there was cursing as well, lots of it.
They didn’t care about anyone else, and seemed oblivious to everyone around them. They were even making the kid I babysit uncomfortable. So, in a fit of annoyance, I told the kid that next time they cursed and every time after that, to ask, very loudly, what [insert curse word] meant.
The kid did, very loudly, the next time they cursed. The first time he did it, other people around us gave the guys dirty looks, finally fed up with their behavior. The guys quieted down, but not by much.
The second time they cursed, he did the same thing, and after someone told them to knock it off because there was a little kid here, they shut up completely, and we got to enjoy the rest of the meal in peace.
So yeah, it wasn’t much of a revenge, but it made me happy.”
He Didn’t Have To Do Anything
“I work as a line cook at a concession stand. Normally the people I work with are pretty cool, but they decided to be idiots the other day while I was working.
I had a drink out that I got from the fountain machine, and I left it unattended for a short period of time while I went into the back kitchen. When I came back out front, I took a drink, only to discover that somebody had poured a vinegar packet into it.
I was ticked and decided, ‘welp, not being nice to these guys today,’ and made it known among the staff that I didn’t take too kindly to being pranked like that.
Later I learned who had soiled my drink with the vinegar, we’ll call him The Whiner. I decided to make burgers for everyone for lunch, but didn’t make one for him. When he asked if I was making him one, I said simply, ‘nope,’ and continued cooking.
He started talking trash, as whiners tend to do, and decided to cook himself his own burger. He left to take care of something in the back, and left his freshly cooked burger unattended. To my credit, I didn’t do anything to it, but when he came back, he scarfed down the burger and then looked at me. He realized he’d left it unattended around me, and asked me if I’d done anything to it. I just laughed.
He asked me again, ‘For real, did you do anything to it?’ I just laughed more.
He started to panic. He said he started to feel queasy, and rushed to the washroom, while I kept laughing.
He eventually left early because he was sick.
The power of suggestion. I love it.”
When You Really Hate A Teacher
“I had a teacher in high school that would constantly single me out to do math problems in front of the class. Me, never being good at math, would usually get the problems wrong, but like clockwork, every class, he would make me get out of my chair.
I started keeping the marker caps from the marker I used to do the problem and the next day one of his markers would be completely dried out. I was eventually caught and sent to the principals office to be punished after having done this all year.
When I walked for graduation I wore the marker caps on a fishing line neckless, shook hands with the principal and got my diploma.
Super petty, but my friends all got a good laugh and I never have to see that teacher again.”
Messy Roommates, Sock Fairy
“I live with two roommates who drive me nuts. It’s the normal annoyances that come with sharing a home with other people. They can be loud when I’m trying to sleep, they never take the trash out, buying basic household supplies is a foreign concept to them, they see nothing wrong with leaving hair in the shower drain, etc. These are all things I can deal with because in the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal.
Lately though I’ve been working really long hours and so I tend to get home kind of late. By the time I get to the gym and come home for the night, it’s around 10:00 which is when I like to toss my laundry in the washer so that it can get done while I shower and get ready for bed. Well my roommates have taken to doing their laundry at that time despite the fact that they have ample time to get it done before I even get home. I tried to work around this by asking them to leave the washer free for two specific nights week so that I could get my stuff done. The problem is, these people literally do laundry 5 days a week (I wish I was exaggerating, the amount of water they waste is insane) and would constantly ‘forget’ which nights I asked them to keep the washer and dryer free. So sometimes this meant I would have to stay up later than I would like so that I could have clean work clothes for the next day but again, I just deal with it because I just don’t have the energy to fight it any more than I already have.
They have now decided that taking their laundry basket upstairs their room is too much of a chore so it has just been sitting on top of the dryer. Clothes are constantly spilling out of it and any time I find a lone sock on the floor, I toss it into the tiny crack between the washer and the dryer. They can see their socks stuck there but are too lazy to do anything about it. Every time I see them walking around in mismatched socks, I swear an angel gets its wings.”
She Was A Bad Barber, But She Shouldn’t Have Been One At All
Zurijeta/Shutterstock.com
“My ex husband was extremely verbally abusive.
Even though he made an exceptional income, and even though he was half way to bald, he insisted that I cut his hair because the professionals don’t do it right. Well, I am a gym teacher, so I don’t know what qualified me to cut his hair, but he got mad if I didn’t.
Every month, it was the same stupid thing. He’d get the Wahl clippers out, put on a #3 and dictate the same instructions with an iron fist. Then, he’d get a ruler out to make sure the sides (the only part with hair) were even. Well, we used a clipper guard, so how could it not be even? Every time, like a broken record, he’d complain and I’d have to do it again. If I dare say a word of how ridiculous this was, I’d get a verbal lashing for hours. I’m not exaggerating.
So one time, he was being particularly vile all day, he told me to cut his hair. I said, ‘You know this never goes well. I don’t want to fight. Just pay the barber the $17 and get it professionally cut. I mean, you made $25,000 this week. It’s not like you can’t afford it.’ He refused. So I took a big deep breath and started to cut his hair as carefully and accurately as I possibly could.
Nope. Wrong. According to him I totally messed up his hair and he was berating me to no end. I was fighting back tears, trying to be strong. He told me to cut it again. I thought to myself, ‘Well, I’ve got a choice. Continue this stupid recurring nightmare or DO something about it.’
I took the guard off the clipper and I zipped a line straight up the back of his head so he looked like a skunk. I slammed the clippers down and said, ‘I told you to go to a barber!’ and I left the house hearing him scream in horror.
He never told me to cut his hair again.”
She Schooled Them At Their Own Game
“When I worked at Walt Disney World on the College Program, we all lived in Disney-owned apartments called Vista Way. The International workers from EPCOT Center also lived there. One of my fellow Cast Members wound up living with five girls from France, who had already been in the apartment for a few months. They treated her OK, but would talk to each other in French when she was there. They kept saying mean stuff about the ‘Stupid American,’ assuming she couldn’t understand.
Finally, one day after several weeks of this, French Girl A says something to French Girl B, and my coworker answered Girl A.
In French.
She spoke French fluently, which is probably why she was assigned to that apartment in the first place. The other girls were MUCH nicer to her after that, and they stayed friends for a long time.”
The Fury Of A Scorned Friend
“My former best friend got me beat up by another girl just because I did not want to talk to her anymore. I tried cutting her off because she was a fake and very toxic. My former best friend even tried ruining my relationship with my boyfriend, by trying to get him angry at me.
I found out that her boyfriend was arrested for asking a minor to sleep with him, so I printed out the article about in the paper and sent it in the mail to her mother. I put the sender’s address as the girl who I got into a fight with. And the best thing is, they live in like a cul-de-sac kind of area so they are neighbors. And both of their mothers know each other very well.
I am pretty sure their mothers argued over the phone about this and I am also pretty sure the mother also gave my former best friend problems and told her not to see him anymore. Later, she texted my sister telling me to stay out of her relationship and to leave her family alone. We just ignored her.
I sent dominos to their houses all the time.
I also found her boyfriend’s address online, so I’ve been sending pizzas to his house under her name too.
To top it off my sister and I have been telling everyone that she slept with her own half nephew, which isn’t a lie.
Now she is alone and forced to stay in a relationship with a guy who cheated on her because she is too afraid of being alone.
I win.”
A First Rate Trick
“My older child does youth triathlon and just got a bike with clip in pedals, so today I took her to the local high school track to practice getting on and off. The track is the typical rubberized surface that won’t hurt as much if you fall on it.
As we were walking over to the track this mid age guy starts telling me no bikes allowed on the track and how the tires will damage the track. I ask him if he’s with the public schools, he says no. I ask him if he’s with the police. Again he says no. I said the sign does not prohibit bikes (it does prohibit dogs, drinks besides water, spray paint, and other specific things). He argues with me then says he’s not going to argue with me. I said fine. I have a right to be here.
My daughter has to go to the bathroom so we go up to the school where we run into a facilities worker. I ask him if bikes are allowed on the track and he says he doesn’t know and doesn’t care. Works for me.
We go back to the track and see the guy pacing around obviously irritated that my child has rolled her bike on the track. I tell him, ‘Stay right there I just called the police.’ I can see he’s excited that he’ll get his official ‘I told you so’ moment. I start my run and my daughter does her bike practice. For 45 minutes this smug prick stands by his car staring at the track waiting for justice to be served.
Too bad though. No police will be coming. I never made the call. (Didn’t even have my phone on me). I know I ruined part of his Sunday afternoon and yes he deserved it.”
A Brilliant Passive-Aggressive Fight On Public Transportation
“I live in a small European country where public transport is the easiest and most convenient option to get from A to B. The trams in my city have a variety of seats. Single seats, seats for two and seats for four (two seats facing each other).
I have noticed that in the past few years, people have come up with the most annoying habit to sit on the seat on the aisle seat, and leave the window seat free. This always annoys me, especially when the opposite two seats are occupied. So when you want to sit, you have to climb over people.
Last week, during rush hour, I entered a tram and there was only one seat left. It was a window seat (of course) but it wasn’t really free. The guy on the aisle seat had his backpack on the seat next to him. People have their stuff on the seats all the time, but usually move it when the tram starts to get full. Every decent person would do that, right? Well, not this guy. So I walked up to him and looked at him with my most judgmental expression. My coworkers tell me all the time, that I’m extremely good at making them feel guilty by just looking at them. But it didn’t work with this guy. He chose to ignore me. Usually I don’t have a problem with telling people how stupid they are, but I didn’t say anything. I’m not sure why. I just stood there, blocking the aisle, and staring at him.
Two stops after I got in, he wanted to get out. Now I was still there, in the aisle and blocking it. He grabbed his backpack, stood up and looked at me. I noticed it and… chose to ignore him. A few seconds of him staring at me and me ignoring him passed before he said ‘excuse me?’ and I moved so he could pass.
The thing is, the tram doesn’t stop for very long. Usually, especially during rush hour, people make their way to the doors even before the tram stops. But this guy didn’t. I can only guess he wanted to have his backpack enjoy the experience of blocking a seat until the very last moment. He only got up after the tram stopped and then had to have me ‘excuse him’ so that when he arrived at the doors, they were already locked.
I tried to keep my grin at a decent level when I took the seat at the window.”
Computer Nerds Always Win
“At my last job we were kind of a community center and had people coming in to use our computer lab sometimes (usually only a couple people at a time, so it stayed pretty quiet in the area) and there was one guy who came in everyday to ‘apply for jobs’ but he really sat there online gambling all day. Just pointless slot machine games, nothing serious or with real money.
So one day my coworkers and I had nothing to do and got into a political discussion and the guy was clearly eavesdropping. We were lightly debating, nothing dramatic or hostile or anything, just having a discussion about a particular political issue. Later when the guy left he made a complaint to our office manager that we shouldn’t talk politics while other people are there because they may want to join in the conversation but feel uncomfortable/unwelcome to do so.
So after the guy left one of my coworkers went through every single computer and blocked all the websites that guy used for gambling. The next day the guy came in to play his usual games and couldn’t access any of them and I had to try so hard not to burst out laughing. He got up after a few minutes and left.”
Not Exactly The Most PC Thing In The World, But The Guy Had It Coming
“I was at a guitar store once. I’m not a very good guitar player, but I was shopping for an amp and decided to try a few out. I pulled a guitar down from the wall, plugged into an amp and started tweaking the settings to my liking.
A guy in a wheelchair came up, plugged into the amp next to me and cranked the volume, and proceeded to play some self-indulgent metal licks. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, powered off the amp that I was testing and walked across the room to another amp, plugged in and started fiddling with settings again. Again, he rolled himself over, plugged into the amp directly adjacent to mine, turned up to 11 and proceeded to go to town on the guitar.
A second time, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, walked away and tried a third amp without saying a word to him. He rolled over, plugged in, turned up and started playing as loud as he could. I asked him if he’d mind giving me a few moments, as I was considering buying one of the amps, and he responded with ‘I don’t know why you bother, you’re an awful guitarist and I can do anything you can do ten times better.’
I looked him in the eye, said ‘Not quite anything’ and reached up to hang the guitar from the top rack, which I had to stretch a bit to reach, all while maintaining eye contact.”
So Simple, So Effective
“I took my kids to the playground yesterday. After two hours of terribleness, I walk them back to the car only to find that some BMW parked so close to my driver’s side that I couldn’t open my door, let alone squeeze between. I had the kids both enter from the other side and was just about to climb over the passenger seat myself (which isn’t fun in a small car), when I stumbled across my emergency ketchup.
As there was plenty of room on the Beamer’s driver side, I quickly went over and rubbed some ketchup to the underside of his or her door handle. Hope you enjoy sticking your hand in ketchup when getting into your car.”