People Share The Worst Thing They’ve Witnessed At A Wedding

No One Believed Her Threats

“A friend of mine went to a wedding about two years ago during which the bride committed suicide. She had apparently been freaking out for a few days beforehand and offhandedly stated that if anything went wrong, she’d kill herself. I guess everyone thought it was just her joking and being a little bit of a bridezilla. But after a series of hiccups during the ceremony and reception, the bride leapt from a third story window in front of her guests and died before EMS could arrive or shortly thereafter. My friend doesn’t really do weddings anymore.”

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Not The Greatest Start To A Marriage

“I didn’t witness it myself but my father told me a story once of when he was at a wedding. The groom decided half way through the ceremony that he didn’t want to get married. He was then attacked by the father and brother of the bride. After a brawl (and a few bloody noses) he changed his mind and they got married.”

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That Speech Escalated Quickly!

“A childhood friend of the groom stood up and held a speech about how the groom would never beat his new wife or his children.

The groom has no history of domestic abuse or being a violent person whatsoever. It was really weird and so embarrassing. The couple was mortified.”

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She Wasn’t Even Aware That She Was Walking Directly Through A Wedding

“I officiated my best friend’s wedding. She got married in front of a fountain on a scenic set of stairs in a park.

Halfway through the ceremony, a lady on her cell phone, with two dogs and her 8-year-old daughter in tow walked right through the ceremony. She stopped by the fountain right next to me and carried out a conversation about a woman she worked with being a horrible person and a skeezy tramp.

One of the dogs peed on the fountain, the daughter started throwing flower petals into the fountain pool and then splashing the water around with a stick while mom used curse words I don’t even think my mom knows, let alone would ever speak in front of me as a child.

We were all too shocked to say anything and just stared at her until she finally collected her (now dripping wet) child and continued on her walk. At no point did she ever realize she had crashed a wedding.

You’d think the dresses, the flower petals, and the guests would be an indicator of what was going on. Some people are just oblivious.

The worst part was, after the ceremony, we realized there hadn’t been enough memory on the camera recording the event and it ran out 10 minutes before the ceremony ended. We have 15 minutes of urinating dogs, a swearing loser and a hyperactive child, but no ‘I do’s,’ ring exchanges or kissing of the bride.

Yes, we should have probably spoken up a bit more, but at first, we were kind of hoping she’d realize it on her own, and then, after I tried to say something, she literally shushed me. We were just too stunned to say anything for a minute after that. And then we just kind of stood there and laughed at her. As much as we wanted to headbutt, swear, throw her phone/child in the fountain… it would have just made things worse, possibly escalated and gone from being a temporary inconvenience to becoming an all-out shouting match/brawl that would totally ruin the wedding. She eventually left on her own, we got a good chuckle, rolled our eyes, proceeded and left with an amusing story about the obliviousness/jerkiness of others.

Yes, it was a public space, but not the only point of ingress/egress between two levels. The steps were more of a decorative accent in a park than a functional path between two levels. Everything was clearly marked off with flowers and ribbons and such and everyone else seemed to get the idea, and after a moment of rubbernecking, went around us and on their merry way.”

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The Kid Didn’t Want To Miss Anything!

“The bride’s water breaking as she hobbled down the aisle… The groom hurried over to help her, the bride’s mom fainted, the bride’s dad tried to help, and the groom’s parents kept trying to engage people in conversations starting with, ‘Well, if she’d just kept her legs shut until AFTER the wedding…’

They ended up getting married in the parking lot as the groom helped the bride out to the car. She was furious. They ended up getting divorced two years later, not sure if it was because of how their marriage started or not.”

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Ending A Friendship In One Motion

“My dad told me about this one.

He was at a wedding where there were all sorts of ‘pristine and exquisite’ sauces and garnishes (it was basically re-bottled ketchup, and mayo). And when people got their food, they would just garnish it however they wanted. My dad reached for the ketchup and tried to get some out. But, keeping to the order of ketchup, none came out. So he shook the bottle like anyone else would to allow it to flow out. One problem, he forgot to put the cap on just as he shook it in a motion over his shoulder, who was behind him? The bride…in her white dress.

Our family isn’t in contact with them anymore.”

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A Classy Affair

“She’s since forgiven me, but at my sister’s wedding, I switched CDs and instead of ‘Here Comes The Bride,’ she marched down the aisle to the ‘Imperial March’ from ‘Star Wars.’ When it happened, it was funny, up until she stopped the wedding and beat the living snot out of me.”

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Sometimes The Speeches Just Get Nasty

“This was at my own wedding a few years ago. During the toast part of the reception, one of my aunts gave a wonderful toast about me and my now wife. But, out of the blue, she chose this time to say the most hate-filled things about her son, (My cousin and one of my best friends). We were all mortified. Her son had a blank look on his face, then got up and left the reception.

We later found out he killed himself by driving headfirst into a traffic light. My aunt is no longer allowed contact with any member of me and my in-law’s families.”

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It’s Practical, But Sad

“I was best man in a wedding.

I was standing next to the couple at the reception and the bride was tipsy (the groom was sober). She told him aloud, ‘I’m not really that in love with you, but I think you’ll be a good husband.’ The look on his face sucked all the joy from me. He tried to laugh it off and told her to hush but he was tearing up as they walked away.

I was so sad for my friend. They are still married after five years but I never know what to think about them and I’ve never spoken to him about it until recently.

I had dinner this weekend with my friend. After a few brews, I asked how they were doing. I also slipped in the memory of his wedding day and how it affected me afterward. He was pretty quiet for a while. I mean, we normally talk about pretty shallow stuff like playoffs and whatever geek tech is out. He said he’s basically living a decent life but she is in fact not truly in love with him like he is with her. And it’s true, he is a good husband and she is a good wife in that she does every expected thing as a partner.

He said they are like two friends who live together and sometimes hook up, so he figures that there are much worse ways to live. They don’t yet have a child but have planned on it and hope to someday. When they’ve each needed some support (mentally, financially, emotionally, socially, etc), they try to help each other out so that’s been good.

Bottom line:

Is he happy? Yes.

Does he wish that he was with someone that adored him like he adores her? He doesn’t think that anymore because he’s made his choice and it’s at least ‘not sad.’

So we drank a little more and I wished him a good night later.”

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The Worst Brother In The World

“I went to an Indian/Muslim wedding when this happened.

Background: At Indian weddings, they sometimes do this thing where the groom and his boys show up late, and the bride’s people block the entrance. The groom’s best man then has to give a wad of cash to the bride’s people to enter and join the wedding. The best man usually gives a little wad first, then there is conflict, then a bigger wad is presented, and this keeps going on until there is clearly no larger wad left. The wad is usually then just spent to pay for the actual wedding but is meant to symbolize a dowry.

So this one wedding, the bride’s 18-year-old brother was at the front line blocking the entrance. He was being a total jerk and taking it too far. He took the first wad of about $500 and throw it at the best man’s face. Some people laughed, but the brother was legitimately angry. Then another wad was presented, which was about $2k. The brother took it, and then started babbling, ‘You cheap jerks. This is all my sister is worth to you? BUZZ OFF! You’re not good enough to marry my sister.’ This was clearly too far, I’ve never actually seen cursing during one of these. Then another two wads were presented, each wad was about four inches thick in $20 bills. These were supposed to be the final wads. The brother took them and threw them at the groom, who was actually outside. They burst apart, and there were $20 bills flying all around. There was a scramble to pick them up, but a lot were lost.

They finally let the groom in, because the little game wasn’t amusing anyone anymore. The party went on eventually. I didn’t know anyone there at all other than my sister and parents, so we just kept to our table and people-watched. I distinctly remember seeing the brother refusing to eat and he was always yelling at someone. He was clearly scheming up something. At the end of the party, the married couple was going to leave and go to their hotel or something. The best man pulled up in the husband’s Mercedes SL600 with the top down. The best man handed over the keys to the groom, who then opened the passenger door for his wife. Meanwhile, everyone else was oogling the nice fancy sports car. Out of nowhere, the brother rushed up and held his sister back. He said, ‘I will not allow my sister to get inside this car. You must get her a limo.’ The bride was trying to push her brother off, but the brother was being quite rough, and it looked pretty abusive to everyone. So the groom physically pulled the brother’s hands off. Then the brother sucker punched the groom in the ear. Everyone rushed forward to break it up and to aid the groom. My family decided it was time to leave, to get away from the awkwardness. The marriage was over the next week.”

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A Lot Of Trash Talk Out Of Granny

“My dad’s second marriage.

My grandmother (his mom) got wasted at the reception and literally trash talked my dad’s new bride and her family in front of EVERYONE. Of course, my dad was going to do nothing about it and neither were my uncles (groomsmen). Somehow the responsibility fell on my 16-year-old self to corral her up and drive her home.

On the drive back to her house, I heard more about my stepmother and her family and then she started trash talking my uncles and my dad (which I found hilarious as I don’t get along with any of them). Finally it was my turn and she started talking about how I was an accident and still came out better than the kids she planned (didn’t know that but thanks, I guess?) She also got bummed out because she said and I quote, ‘I wanna tell you to stick with your race and marry a black girl, but they all rats! Plus you’re smart so you gonna have all kind of women sniffing you. Oh well! Raise your mulatto children right!’

After the most awkward drive ever (she had a few more choice words for me and my mother), I finally get her to her house and walked her inside. After that, I left and realize that I will never like my dad or his side of the family and developed an aversion towards weddings.”

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This Wedding Was All Wet

“My Father’s wedding when he remarried in his backyard.

My father is a drinker and borderline white trash. The wedding theme was a Luau (not sure why, as everyone is as white as snow, but I digress). I was required to wear board shorts and a mesh tank top to the affair and everyone else was dressed similarly as well. My father’s new wife was in a bikini and my father was also in board shorts and a tank top.

Most everyone was trashed, which made for some mild laughs, but then the true terror occurred. It was time for them to read their vows and swear to treat each other properly, etc. Lo and behold, they stepped into a pool to be wed, but this was no ordinary pool, this is a whale-shaped kiddie pool. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, they asked all of their children (me, my sister, brother, and soon to be step-brother) to step into the pool with them.

So at this point, I was dressed in swimming apparel, reeking of sunscreen, standing in a whale-shaped kiddie pool while my father was remarrying.”

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The Mother Of All Pole Dancing

“Well, my cousin was having himself a quickie wedding at his bride’s parents’ trailer. Out front, we had the wedding and then we went to the back for the reception. There were a few makeshift tents back there. This wedding was ‘bring your own everything’ – food, chairs, tables, utensils, etc.

Anyway, after everybody ate the potluck stuff and had a few fine beverages, the bride’s mother exclaimed that this party needed some entertainment. She then tried to convince her very pregnant daughter to do a pole dance/striptease on a tent pole. Her daughter refused. And that’s when she decided to take matters into her own hands.

It is remarkably awkward watching a middle-aged, white trash woman doing a strip show surrounded by your family.”

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Always Double Check Your Work

“My neighbor asked me and my brother to make CDs for their sister’s wedding. This was back in the Napster days when we felt like kings downloading music all day long. They gave us a long list and we busted our butts downloading the songs and burning the CDs in such a short deadline. We didn’t attend the wedding but we found out every cd turned out perfect…except for the one with the song where the bride and groom danced to. I believe it was some Nsync song or something but it only played for a good ten seconds before changing to a recording of someone horribly playing an acoustic guitar and singing a song about their nuts. The bride went running off the dance floor crying, as the groom started a witch hunt to find out who made the CDs.

Luckily everyone cooled down and agreed that is must have been an accident. Our neighbors never asked us for a favor again.”

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You Know Things Are Bad When The Groom Gets Arrested

“I worked at a bar with an enormous reception hall people would often rent out for wedding receptions. It was pretty lavish with a huge winding spiral staircase, big dance floor, stage for the DJ and wedding party, all the usual fancy nonsense people seem to just need for their big day. This one wedding party spent an outrageous amount of money on their reception: 7 kegs of brew, 20 cases of vino, a full 3-course meal with their own private servers and bartenders, etc.

They had about 300 people there and everyone was having an amazing time…at first. I was behind the private bar and I noticed the bride running around frantically. She was asking for help and all the groomsmen were in a complete panic because they couldn’t find the groom! It turns out the jerk went outside with his best man to blow a line of Colombian Marching Powder in the parking lot and got arrested and sent to jail like an hour into his own wedding reception. It ruined the entire event for everyone. The bride proceeded to get completely wasted and make a scene, causing about half of their guests to just sort of quietly leave, and they left 5 full kegs of brew behind, all of which they still had to pay for. It was so uncomfortable going up to the father of the bride and asking him to sign the credit receipt which included all of the stuff he still had to pay for but that they couldn’t consume.”

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A Coordinated Cold Shoulder

“To understand the story, you’ll need some background. I come from a typically strict and Asian family. All of my family members only married other Asians. My aunt was the black-sheep of the family. She dated an Italian co-worker and my family really didn’t like that. They talked behind her back and excluded her from many family get-togethers.

Fast forward a year or so, she announced to the family that is going to be married in a couple of months. She said that she would feel happy if they would come and attend the wedding. This was the first time that the majority of my aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins would be attending a ‘non-Asian’ wedding. My aunts and uncles were furious at the fact that this was not a traditional Asian wedding and decided to ‘teach her a lesson’ she wouldn’t forget. During the middle of the wedding, when my aunt was walking down the aisle, about half of my family stood up from their seats and walked out of the building. My aunt saw half her whole family walk out on her wedding. She started to cry but the wedding continued.

I’m glad I stayed for the entire thing. We talked afterward and my immediate family told her not to worry and tried to comfort her. I still get sad thinking about how she must have felt when she saw everyone leaving.”

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Why Are Fights So Common At Weddings?

“I worked at a banquet hall for three years when I was younger, so I’ve seen my fair share of wedding disasters. I’ve seen the worst of the worst best man speeches, fainting mothers/fathers/groomsmen/brides you name it, and I can’t count the number of times I’ve walked in on people hooking up in the basement. But I’ve got one story that stands out the most.

To start, I have to tell you that it was an Italian banquet hall, so almost all of our clientele would be Italians, typically marrying other Italians. No problem though, Italians like their vino and dancing and could get pretty rowdy, but they would always keep things under control out of respect for the occasion.

But one time we had an Italian-Polish wedding. This was an absolute disaster. As soon as the family of the bride and groom showed up, you could sense the tension between the fathers. I’ve never seen so many dirty looks tossed around in one night, but that was about all that happened for the most part of the night and it was actually pretty amusing to watch.

But then dinner and dessert had been served so it was time to open up the dance floor. So the drinks started flowing and everyone appeared to be having a good time. Only one problem. The fathers were nowhere to be found. In came an old Italian woman screaming, ‘THEY’RE FIGHTING, THEY’RE FIGHTING!’ and before you could say ‘amore,’ the whole hall had emptied and everyone had rushed the parking lot. Outside, 400 people were swinging their fists anywhere they could. Italian men fighting Polish men, Polish women fighting Italian women, there were even some kids throwing punches at each other. There was nothing any of the employees or owners could do but watch and wait for the cops to show up. Cops came, people scattered, those that couldn’t get away fast enough were arrested and me and the rest of the staff were stuck cleaning up the biggest mess you’d ever seen. Needless to say, the wedding was ruined.”

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Their Wedding Got Politically Incorrect Real Quick And In A Hurry

“I was catering a wedding in North Carolina. It was on a plantation owned by an extremely wealthy ‘old money’-type family. The daughter was marrying a black dude and the family seemed surprisingly okay with it (after speaking with some of the guests, I could tell they were pretty prejudice people for the most part, and there was kind of a general tense feeling between the families.)

During the ceremony the priest was getting to the ‘objection’ part, and before he even says the word, this giant man stood up and said, ‘No cousin of mine is going to marry a [N-Word]’ and starts barreling over people in a racism powered rampage of ignorance toward the groom. It was almost like it was planned, people were cheering, moving out of the way, and even following this jerk toward the altar. All of the sudden the groom’s family got up and forms a wall in front of the couple, choreographed like they, too, were expecting it.

I swear it was dead silent for an instant, and all of the people I was working with stood there, frozen, excitedly mortified as we watched this race war unfold, it looked like a scene from ‘Django Unchained,’ mixed with ‘300,’ and a little bit of ‘Roots.’ Complete pandemonium, racist rhetoric from both sides, screaming from the women and children, it carried on for what felt like an hour (about 15 minutes) when someone yelled, ‘Where’s the bride and groom?!’

Apparently, they had run off and no one could find them. About an hour later, the father of the bride informed everyone they had eloped, and set off, not disclosing where they went (she had called him). He then proceeded to say, ‘Well, I guess we should eat since I already paid for your dinners.’ Everyone from both sides sat down, ate, some even danced, some made up, and they all left without any incident. One of the most bizarre things I have ever witnessed. I still wonder if the couple ever came back.”

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