People Share The Most Idiotic Neighbor They’ve Ever Had

Residing in a dream house or neighborhood can still feel like a nightmare if you don't get along with the people who live around you. Read what these people have to say about the dumbest things their neighbors have ever done and/or said.

Seems Like A No-Brainer

“My dad had a neighbor when he was young that played his radio all day, even when he wasn’t home or was gone on vacation. Every time he left the house and his radio was still on, my dad would go and trip the circuit breaker to his condo.

One day he sees my dad, who was an electrical engineer, and asked him why his breaker kept tripping – was it faulty wiring? No, my dad explained, the loud radio was probably just putting too much strain on the circuit when left on all the time. My dad suggested he should try turning it down or off when he wasn’t home, and see if that fixed it.

So the man tried it, and surprise surprise, the circuit breaker stopped tripping! He was thankful to my dad for helping him with that annoying electrical issue.”

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He Wasn’t The Only One Complaining

“I had a neighbor with a drag racing car. At the time, we didn’t have A/C. At dinner time, like clockwork, he would start the car and rev it so loud my windows rattled. If we had any windows open, we wouldn’t be able to have dinner conversation.

One day, I had enough. I walked to the fence and got his attention and politely asked if he could not rev the car at dinner time. I said I was cool with it otherwise. His answer was ‘SCREW YOU!’

I went inside and called the police and filed a noise complaint. They came out, heard it live, and wrote him up. He fought it in court, so I had to go. The judge asked me what happened, I told the same story. She asked him and his wife if it was true and they said yes. BOOM. $1,000 fine. The judge told me to call the police if it continued.

All the jerk had to do was avoid one hour a day, and we’d have been fine. I never called again because he didn’t rev during dinner. One day, his common-law wife gets in my face about calling again. I told her I didn’t, but she wouldn’t believe me. He got hit with a second $1,000 fine. Turns out it was the neighbor two houses away who was a migraine sufferer and had similarly tried the neighborly approach first.”

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They Forgot To Cover Their Tracks

“When I was a kid, we had this guy living next door who seemed like a nice guy. This is the mid-90s, and he had a neon business, so he was doing pretty well for himself. Then he got together with an addict, and his house slowly started crumbling apart.

At one point, his septic system went up, and since they were smoking every dime he made, he decided that he was just going to make a cesspit. We live on the East Coast in the mid-Atlantic, it gets hot and humid come July. Thanks to this guy, our entire neighborhood smelled like a spot-a-pot at mid-summer festival for about three months.

Fast forward to January, nice and snowy, we come home to our house being broken into. The computer is gone, tv is gone, a bunch of movies and meds are gone.

The cops show up, and they start dusting and looking around. They go outside and lo and behold, there are tracks going from our side door back to the neighbor’s house. Of course, they deny everything and are at least smart enough not to keep the stuff around after we got home. They were not smart enough to use different names for everything they pawned. Needless to say, we had new neighbors within a few months of this incident.”

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It Pays To Be Nice, Literally

“A neighbor messed up when building a home and put his entire home well within my property ( a large piece of land with two huge clearings connected to two roads but separated by a large isthmus of trees). I didn’t notice because I had taken an eight-month vacation right after he started building. It was a huge property, I didn’t go around and inspect it often.

I got a real estate lawyer and surveyors to confirm it was on my property. I was going to sell him that clearing for a good price until I went to talk to him and he was the biggest jerk I had ever met. He told me that he is going to sue me for ‘leading him on’ despite the fact that I did not know him nor have did I meet him before that day. His wife flipped my girlfriend and me off as we were pulling out of their driveway.

Four months later, I filed a lawsuit saying he must destroy the property or turn it over to me immediately. It would’ve cost him more to demolish it and return the site to original condition so he signed the house over to me. He was still out for construction costs. I was living in a single wide with my girlfriend, then I had brand new, 2,600 square foot house with all the hookups for water, electric, and cable for free.

We got the land for next to nothing, sold it for almost 50 times the value.”

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You Can Take The Man Out Of The City

“I grew up on a small farm with cows and turkeys. Across the street was a small produce farm. When I was six years old, we got a new neighbor. He was a corporate lawyer in NYC who woke up one day and said ‘I hate my job. I’m going to buy a farm and raise exotic animals.’

This guy did not know much, but by god, he had a dream and he wasn’t going to give up. He and his wife were both city folk, born and raised in NYC. They moved in during the winter and he asked my dad a lot of questions about pens, fences, vets, the works. Spring comes, and I was awakened by frantic knocking on the door one morning. It’s the wife, Jen, panicking and saying, ‘It smells like poop! Is there a problem with the sewer? Who do we call?’ My mom starts laughing, which frustrates Jen more. My mom explained that it was spring and the produce farm across the street just laid down their fertilizer. My mom had to further explain that fertilizer is just a nice word for cow poop. After she left, we could hear her screaming at her husband that she hated it here, and this was the dumbest idea he’s ever had, and she wants to go back to the city. Keep in mind that our houses were pretty far apart as we were both on 10-acre lots. She could project.

They got some emus and llamas shortly after. My father is impressed with the livestock, less so with the fencing Arthur chose. It was wire fencing with large holes in it. It was large enough for both the llamas and the emus to stick their heads through. Then they’d decide they were thirsty so they’d snake their heads back through a lower hole and get stuck that way. Arthur would then come running to our house for help getting his animals unstuck before they drowned in the water troughs.

This happened at least once a month for ten years. Arthur never changed the fencing, despite my dad asking him why he wouldn’t change the fencing or at least move the troughs into the center of the pens.

They’ve since moved, but I’ll never forget the zaniness of runaway emus and llamas, fantastical escaping pygmy goats, or Jen freaking out because it smelled like poop.”

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The Psychopath Neighbor

“I had a neighbor on our old street who we’re sure was on some illegal substances. When we first moved there, he wanted to invite us to a BBQ, but we declined because we were still busy unpacking and said ‘maybe another time.’ A few months later, we hear a woman in distress, and it turns out he was beating his wife in the middle of the street. We called for her to come over so she could call the police. The wife left him, and there was some drama between both of them throughout the years.

Because our family helped his wife, we were his enemy, and he harassed us multiple times throughout the years. We’d call the police, and they’d come out and basically have him stop for a time. At one point, he bought a megaphone and started yelling threats and swears at us. Another time, he started driving his motorcycle around our neighborhood to annoy us and then used the motorcycle’s back tire to throw dirt and rocks at our car. We called the police who told him to not do it again. He denied he ever did it in the same breath that he said he did because my mom is evil.

A few years later, I go to get the mail, and I hear him talking to his young child. Basically telling the child ‘the woman over there is evil; never trust her,’ referring to my mom. I tell my mom and she’s thinking, ‘Oh boy what’s he up to now?’ Later that afternoon, he slowly drives by our house and stops, staring into our living room window. He later goes home and uses his megaphone to insult my mom and yell threats at us again; one specific threat being, ‘You better not leave your kids alone or something will happen to them.’ My mom calls the police and they recommend a restraining order. His ex-wife calls us the next day, saying her kids heard him saying he was going to get a restraining order against us. We filed one at the same time, so we had the same court date.

He told the court that my mom had been ‘training’ my siblings and me to climb his fence and go into his tree at night to harass him, and one night he caught us, and we all ran back into our house at my mom’s orders. Apparently, we only harassed him when his kids were at his ex-wife’s. He basically spouted insanity throughout the entire court hearing, and the judge asked for our side of the story, and we told him. The judge asked if our neighbor was taking any meds, and he told the judge ‘yes, I was taking anti-psychotics, but I stopped them.’ The judge then told him that my family would never bother him again, and granted us our restraining order. The guy was completely insane. I worry about how those kids of his turned out.”

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Something Wasn’t Adding Up, And They Ended Up Being Right

“When I lived with my parents, we had a knock at the door one day from our neighbors across the road. They told us a story that resulted in their car getting stolen the night before.

Apparently, the wife saw a strange man wandering around the street late at night. He had apparently been looking into car windows parked in driveways, including our cars.

The next morning, their BMW was gone, including the keys which were hanging by the front door of their house. They ‘assumed’ the strange man looking in car windows had somehow fished the keys from the house via the letterbox.

The whole thing sounded strange. To not call the police when a man is peering through car windows on people’s driveways was strange enough.

Months later, the neighbors got a divorce and sold their house. Turns out, they’d made the whole thing up, and had dumped the car for the insurance as they had fallen on hard times. Apparently, their poorly-crafted story hadn’t held up well and they were found out. Who broadcasts a story like that? Why make yourself look stupid for not calling the police when seeing a strange man eyeing up cars? Then tell all the neighbors about the man?”

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You Think He’d Learn On The First Try

“We lived next to this big guy in an apartment building (front doors inside a hallway). He was a nice enough guy, but he was always cleaning a puddle up in front of his apartment every other day. We’d always ask him if everything was alright, and he’d talk some incoherent stuff about how he hates management.

So, out of curiosity, I asked management when I happened to be in the rental office and the lady rolls her eyes and says, ‘This idiot fills up his tub to the brim and sits in the tub. The water floods his entire apartment and comes out into the hallway, and this idiot has the nerve to blame us.’ I said, ‘geez, sounds rough’ and scurried on back to my place. If the tub story is really the truth, this guy must be dumb as rocks.”

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Stick Around For The Show, Folks!

“A couple that lives across the hall from me fights often and loudly. One night, the girl found something on the guy’s phone that she found objectionable (either smut or evidence of cheating) but either way, she was yelling a lot about a promiscuous woman, so she throws his phone off the balcony onto the concrete walkway below where it shatters. The guy then goes back inside grabs her phone and does the same.

Moral of the story is: an iPhone for an iPhone makes the whole world entertaining for the neighbors.”

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Stone Cold Stupid

“My constantly inebriated neighbor came up with the brilliant idea that he could collect the leaves in the stone parking lot with his snowblower! He duct taped a plastic garbage bag over the discharge chute, and off he goes.

It actually inflated the bag for a few moments until the stones started flying. He broke three windows on his garage door and splattered a bunch of cars in the lot. I could write a book on all the stupid stuff I saw him do.”

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They Received A Letter With Surprising Contents

“I was off sick one day, and my roommate came home for lunch and checked the mail. We got a letter with no return address, sent to ‘the rooftop smokes’ with our address on it. We knew it was for our next door neighbors since one of them had a chair on the roof and smoked up there. Since it had no actual name and our address on it, I was like ‘I’m going to open this, it’ll be hilarious!’

As I’m opening the taped envelope, a bit of white powder sprinkled onto my lap. My roommate and I looked at each other and were like ‘Uhh, what the heck,’ so I got up and took the letter outside to open it. A ton of white powder came out of the letter when we took it out of the envelope, so we grabbed a Ziploc bag and some tongs, and sealed up the letter.

The letter was typed and said random stuff like, ‘To the jerk who likes smoking illegal substances on the roof and yelling at people on the street with kids, you’d better have good insurance because I’ll damage your stuff, I’m ex-military and have nothing better to do than to watch over you, you angered off the wrong guy.’ and at the end it said, ‘By the way the substance in this envelope is toxic, so you might want to get yourself to a hospital.’

At that point, we were half laughing, half concerned, so I called the cops just in case. They took it very seriously and sent out everyone: cops, paramedics, fire trucks, RCMP (my roommate works for them), and the tactical unit (our version of SWAT). The street was closed off, we were quarantined in our garage, and every neighbor who was home at the time came out to take a look. Everyone was told to go back inside and stay put. The tactical team got suited up in hazmat suits and went to our house to test the letter/envelope.

We were in the garage for almost three hours. The tactical guys came back out and said the substance was found to be non-toxic but they still had to do some more tests to figure out exactly what it was. At that point, we were taken into the ambulance for a look-over and then back to the garage.

It turns out the white powder was pancake mix. My roommate and I, along with the cops and tactical guys, burst out laughing together. We thanked the response teams and they left. The police stayed behind to get our statements and questioned the next door neighbors to whom the letter was supposed to be sent.

A detective followed up with us a couple of times. Since it was a threat and sent through the mail, it was a serious offense. The letter/envelope was sent off to forensics for testing. Unfortunately, nothing was found and the case was closed. The people in that house caused problems the entire time they lived there, but this incident takes the cake. Luckily, they have all since moved.”

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Fool Me Once

“I had a problem with a neighbor who drove over my lawn with his ATVs and damaged the grass/shrubs. He said he’d pay for the damage but that never happened and he kept doing it. So I put my trailer across their tracks to block their path. They went around it.

I put up two other barriers that they also drove around. So I found this branch that had fallen in the woods between our properties and dragged it across to cover the third path they were making across my yard.

But the branch got caught on a cable. What is a cable doing over the lawn instead of properly buried?

So I called the cable company to have it buried. They said I was the only registered client on that box and to disconnect it. So I did.

After the weekend, my neighbor came by going crazy on me for disconnecting his cable. He yelled he was going to call the cops on me. So I left. I got a call from the cops. Cops asked if I disconnected cable because of the ATV issue.

Interesting, I wasn’t even going to mention the ATV issue, but my neighbor already did.

So long story short, the neighbor got a ticket for trespassing and admitted to stealing cable. I took an offer on my house that very day and moved.”

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The Crazy Ones

“I have crazy neighbors. They are actually very nice as neighbors go, but the family is totally dysfunctional. They have two grown-up daughters living there, along with their teenage daughters and their boyfriends. One has a kid. They have about ten people living on the property ranging in age from 5 to 70 years old. They keep the yard mowed and keep to themselves mostly, but they are insane. I like them for two reasons: First, they are notorious and crazy around our town, so everyone leaves them alone, so little crime around us. Second, they are entertainment.

One morning when my aunt was visiting, we are on the front porch, and I am telling her about all the neighbors. I was telling her a story about how one of the younger granddaughters got into a fight with her boyfriend at 2 a.m. on a Tuesday night. They were screaming at each other, walking up and down the street, explaining that something like that happens once a week.

Like clockwork, one of the daughters comes out screaming back at someone and gets in her car. The other daughter comes out and tries to stop her from backing out. She grabs a shovel from the back of the truck and starts hitting the front windshield of the card, completely shattering it. They call the cops.

Meanwhile, the granddaughter with the shovel calls her biological dad who lives down the road. He picks his daughter up. Two minutes later the cops show up, but she is gone. I have hundreds like this.”

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The Pick-Up Truck Guy Caused A Riot

“One Saturday night at around 8 p.m., I heard a commotion outside. Some dude in a pickup truck had pulled up in front of my neighbor’s house, and they were in a shouting match. It looked like it was about to get ugly and pick-up truck dude had a lot more rage, so I called the police in part to protect my neighbor. When they each got weapons out, 911 dispatched a car.

By the time the cops arrived, the pick-up truck guy had left. The cops talked to my neighbor. All he had to do was smile and say all was well, or finger the other guy. But, no. He got belligerent with the cops. So, they cuffed him and took him away.

His brother was there, and the cops told him to go home. He walks to his car with a cop right behind him. The car is in front of my house, so I can see and hear everything. He looks at the cop and says ‘I’ve been partying all day. If I get it this car, you’re going to arrest me.’ ‘Yes sir,’ replies the cop. So, the cops give him a ride home.

Less than an hour later, the guy has gotten a ride back to his vehicle. I am standing at my front door. He sees me and yells, ‘What are you looking at?’ I told him nothing. ‘Well, I am going to bail my brother out and, we’re coming back to mess you up.’ For what, I have no idea, since I was trying to protect him.

As soon as he leaves, I call the police station to tell them what happened, and to say he’d threatened me. I am on the phone with the cop for a few minutes. Then he asks me my neighbor’s name. I tell him. The cop laughs and says, ‘Yeah, we just arrested his brother for DWI as he pulled in our parking lot.”

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Could You Be Any More Obnoxious?

“In college, I lived in a big apartment building. I lived in a two-bedroom and only had neighbors on one side. They also shared a wall with only us. One day, we just start hearing a constant loud banging on the walls. This went on and off for days and was loud and annoying. Finally, we figured out what it was via the one guy’s snap chat story. These guys had installed a full-size basketball hoop on the wall we shared with them and were constantly shooting hoops.

This was annoying because the wall directly across from where the hoop was, was not shared with anyone. So we talked to them about it and asked if they could move it. The next day we hear loud drilling in the wall and assume they are taking it down. Nope! They either installed a second hoop or made the first one more secure in the wall.”

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