Skeletons in the closet. We all have them so it shouldn't come as a surprise then that most families do, too. The following AskReddit thread asked family members to open up about their secrets and the impact that they've had on their immediate relationships, as well as, how they view the people closest to them now. They say some secrets are better left untold.
(Content has been edited for clarity.)
The Second Husband
“My grandmother shot her abusive second husband to death in his sleep.
I was told she was the first person sentenced under sentencing guidelines which at that time required people convicted of first-degree murder to serve no less than 25 years in prison. However, the judge after considering the years of abuse she suffered, changed the sentence so that she only served three years.
My mother and aunts did not tell my cousins or me the truth about what happened until we were young adults.”
No Weapons Allowed
“My great-grandfather on my mom’s side was an EOD tech in WW2. He also wasn’t allowed to carry a weapon.
Why wasn’t he allowed to carry a weapon? Well, we had to ask our grandma that one. Apparently, he had caught his neighbor in bed with his first wife while coming home from a hunting trip, shot them both, and then turned himself in at the police department.
While in prison, he was offered an opportunity to get out if he signed up with the army on one condition and that was that he didn’t get a weapon.”
Starved Their Daughter
“Tomorrow when we go to dinner with my uncle, we’re all supposed to pretend like he didn’t let his wife starve their daughter to death. It was a tragic accident that ‘just happened,’ and nothing could’ve been done.
This part of my family has been estranged for over 30 years now, so I’ve never even met my cousin. We found out about her death after a police officer came in to interview my father, but it was known to our family that her parents were ‘eccentric’ at best. The local media ended up getting a hold of the story. So, I’d rather be a little vague when it comes to the details to keep people from putting two-and-two together. Most of what we knew anyway came from what the police had told my dad, and what we had read in the newspaper.
Apparently, the mother had been psychologically abusive to her daughter for most of her life. It was mostly revolving around the girl’s weight and her body image (i.e., never being thin enough). I’m not sure how the police were alerted, but they found a padlock attached to the outside of her bedroom door. She had died of extreme malnutrition, and there were signs of other abuse going on as well.
When the wife died, a few years ago, my uncle decided it was time to reconnect with what was left of his family. My other uncle still wouldn’t talk to his eldest brother. My dad, being the middle child, and… well, let’s not get into that, either. Let’s just say, unfortunately, it’s in my father’s nature to be excessively forgiving.
My dad still sees his brother once a week now. My brother and I go out to dinner with them once a year around this time at my father’s request. Otherwise, we maintain minimum contact.”
Held Hostage
“My grandparents and great aunt and uncle were kidnapped by two men in a car while walking home from a party in the ’60s. Even worse, my grandpa and great uncle were forced to watch as the men took turns doing terrible things to them while holding them hostage with a weapon.
They left them in a field on the roadside, and they had to find their way back on foot. The incident messed up my grandparents’ marriage, and my grandpa became a drinker.
Ten years later, he died, divorced and alone from cirrhosis. No one in my family ever talks about it, and I only know from my dad who randomly told me the story one day.”
Cheating On Both Sides
“On mom’s side, my aunt cheated on my uncle with my uncle’s father.
On my dad’s side, we were told ‘Paw Paw’ died in the 1940s when he fell asleep in his truck, and the carbon monoxide got him.
Anyway, I did some Ancestry.com newspaper research on the incident a few years back and found out he wasn’t the only one in the truck that day. He was, in fact, with some very young woman who wasn’t my grandmother.
Whether it was a genuine accident or some weird lovers’ suicide pact, I couldn’t figure out the details.”
The Last Male Alive
“My father committed suicide when I was 3 years old, my first stepfather committed suicide when I was 12, and my brother (who was about 36) committed suicide when I was 28. I’m the only male still alive in our family that has our last name.
Despite the number of suicides in my life, I’m lucky in the fact that none of them had a significant impact on me. I was too young to remember my father, and I wasn’t close to my first stepfather. I hadn’t seen my brother in 10 years when he did it. It’s more like they all ‘left’ than died.
I think my birth father’s death had the most impact on my brother. He was six years older than me, so he could remember our father and his death. He had depression issues from that, and I think it ultimately led to his death.”
Split Family
“My family split in WW2.
One side strongly disagreed with Hitler and joined their relatives in England where they got special permission to join the war effort. My uncle joined the royal navy, and my grandfather was a handler and translator for the double cross program.
The other side, who sided with Hitler, died out. The last survivor I tracked down had vanished as a POW somewhere in Siberia. As far as I know, that side of our family is entirely extinct.”
The Actual Reason He Left The Job
“My entire mom’s side of the family used to work at this one hospital. My mother was a nursing expert, my aunt was the ombudsman, and all of her sons (my cousins) worked at the hospital at one point or another. All their spouses work there, too. My cousins were usually porters and worked their way up while in nursing school.
At our last big family get together, my cousin ‘P’ revealed that he no longer worked at the hospital and was working a new computer job. We were all pretty confused but still supportive. Two weeks later, ‘P’ sent me a text that was not meant for me. I’m assuming it was intended for his dealer, but he was looking for an illegal substance. ‘P’ had been to rehab in his teens, and we all thought he had been clean ever since.
I immediately forwarded the text to his wife and was told the REAL reason behind why he had left the hospital. My dearest cousin was caught stealing prescription pads and forging prescriptions. I was begged not to tell the rest of the family.”
Cleaning Out The Pharmacy
“My grandma knew one of her uncles had died quite young, and nothing was spoken about him, but she knew his name. I searched it up online, and I found some interesting stuff. He was a sickly boy who was not very tall, underweight, and rather ‘odd’ according to a medical report in his teens. He became a pharmacist and spent time in my hometown.
He was sent to another state west of where I lived to work as the dispenser in a hospital there. He was later found unconscious on the floor of the pharmacy in the hospital with needles in his arms and a briefcase full of medication that he had taken from the stores which included hallucinogens and opiates. He later died in the hospital, and no charges were ever laid despite clearing out the pharmacy of its ‘medications.’
To add to this, he had borrowed large amounts of money from my great-grandfather and never paid it back. He left nothing in his will. This was one of many family members with mental health issues.”
Religious Fraud
“My grandmother was an insanely dogmatic Catholic. She didn’t like any partners her kids brought home (and eventually married). One of my aunts never married, and we’re pretty sure that’s because she was a lesbian.
She was very much against anything that ran against the Catholic teachings, especially when it came to gender, marriage, and family structure. She died in 1993 at the age of 97, and we were certain that she had probably only ever been physically intimate seven times. So, basically once for each of her kids.
That’s why it was kind of surprising when I was doing some family tree research earlier this year, and I found out my oldest uncle was born two weeks before my grandparent’s were married. Good one, Nana. She’s been playing the long con for 100 years.”
Job Change
“When I was a kid, my uncle was a police officer. By the age of 11 or 12, I found out he wasn’t anymore and instead worked at a Chick-fil-a. I asked my parents why he wasn’t a cop anymore, and all my parents would tell me was that there was an ‘incident’ that happened. No further questions.
One day, about three years ago, I remembered how sketchy that was. So, I googled his name. Come to find out, he was under investigation for picking up ‘ladies of the night’ in his cop car. Somehow, there wasn’t enough evidence to charge him, though, so they got him to voluntarily resign.
No one in my family knows I know and seeing him after learning that was pretty weird.”
Staged Home Invasion
“My great uncle was in a load of financial trouble like $2 million in the hole. To solve this, he staged a robbery at his own house where the ‘burglar’ shot and killed him. After a few months of investigation, it was ruled a suicide. However, my family chose not to believe that.”
Adopted
“My cousin is adopted. Everyone in our family along with their neighbors and family friends knows. He doesn’t and is turning 32.”
Creepy Uncle
“My uncle hit on my sister once while I was away on basic training in July 2016. I threatened to cave his face if he ever did it again.”
The Story Behind Our Family Home
“One of my ancestors moved to America and was a part owner/some very high up manager of this hotel. This was a few generations back so think like my great-great-great-grandfather.
I don’t remember all the details, but anyway he murdered someone in that hotel, fled back to Ireland with some gold, and used it to build our family home. My cousin now owns it, and I spent a lot of my childhood there when my grandparents were still alive.
There’s a portrait of him still hung up somewhere in there. This is an eight-bedroom, three-bathroom house that’s next to a beautiful beach with four large sheds and a decent amount of land (which they also used to farm on).”
My Mom Shot My Dad
“My mom shot my dad. She broke up with him soon after getting pregnant, and he would stalk her. He broke her arm, nose, etc.
She finally borrowed a weapon from my uncle and met him. He went to attack her, so she shot him in the throat. Because of who she is as a person, she held a rag to his throat and let him live.
She was found innocent at her trial. I still have the newspaper clippings. This was in the ’60s.”
Father Figure
“My mom married my biological dad and had me. Three years later, she divorced him and married his brother which turned my uncle into my stepdad. Honestly, though, he will always be my dad because my biological father never really wanted anything to do with me in the first place.”
First Daughter
“My mom gave a daughter up for adoption. She was adopted by a prominent senator, and when we finally met her last year, she had a story about smoking with a certain first daughter. It was amusing, but I’m glad she’s had a good life.”
Raised Like My Own
“A stranger abused my grandmother, and my aunt was the result of that altercation. My grandfather raised her like his own, and my grandparents took that secret with them to their graves. My aunt looks nothing like the rest of us. We’re black, and my aunt is very light with light eyes. She thinks my grandmother cheated on my grandfather. This was the lie that my grandmother told her because she thought that the truth would hurt her too much. Because of this, my aunt thought less of my grandmother for many years.”
Postpartum Depression
“My great-grandfather had an illegitimate son with the woman who was hired to watch his children while my great-grandmother was locked away in a mental institution for suffering from postpartum depression.”
Long-Lasting Fight
“Before I was born, two of my great-aunts got into an argument that came very close to becoming a fight over a man. They swore to never speak to one another again after that, and as far as anyone else ever saw, they never did. They’d avoid each other at family gatherings. This feud lasted another 30 plus years until one of them died.”
Secret Sister
“My dad has a secret sister. She ran away from home when she was a teenager. We think she joined a brothel but left that life. Although we have her phone number and address, and we could speak to her, but no one ever does.”
Runs In The Family
“My dad grew weed, my grandad sold cars illegally, my dad also pirated movies, and my mum lied to an insurance company to get my laptop fixed at a cheaper rate.”
Hidden Diagnosis
“My dad was HIV positive and had dementia. He never did any sort of major surgery or blood transfusions. Privately, I’ve always wondered to my wife about why my dad had stepped out on my mom. By some miracle, my mom never caught it, though.
We kept my dad’s condition a secret. My two sisters, their spouses, myself, my wife, and my mom are the only people who know.”
Family Name
“The pronunciation of my family name changed about 70 years ago because of a huge divisive family feud that was bad enough for everyone involved to refuse to ever discuss it.
To this day, my family still has no idea why it happened, and all the people who were involved have since passed away and took it to their graves with them.
My grandfather was the last person who knew about it, and he passed away in 1978. He never even told my grandmother why, and she’s still kicking and alive at 81.”
Had An Abortion
“My cousin had an abortion when she was in high school. No one ever talks about it. She’s 30 something now.”
Past Addict
“My youngest brother was an addict. Only my parents and I knew (out of six siblings), and I think his wife now also.”