Whether you have a child or not, we can all agree that parenting isn't always easy. Whether a curious little one is getting into things they shouldn't or playing a suspiciously long game of hide-and-seek, one thing is for certain: they are always keeping their parents on their tippy toes and more often than not on the verge of a heart attack.
You Never Want To Catch Your Kid Drinking This
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“My sister and I still lived together with my then 16-month-old niece who we were always trying to wean off of bottles. She was only crawling with intermittent toddling at this point and she often times followed me into the bathroom. Since she would often try to get into cupboards, we had recently moved all of the chemicals to a tall shelf behind the toilet. When she refused to leave the bathroom with me, I flicked off the light assuming she would follow me out as she was not a fan of the dark. I hollered at my sister to come and grab her and went about my business. Not even two minutes later, I turn around in the kitchen and there my niece is, standing tall, and happily sucking away at a bottle. I yelled, ‘What?!’ She stops suddenly, drops the bottle, and begins this heart-stopping cough… It’s Clorox toilet bowl cleaner. She had wrenched the child proof lid up enough to drink it. To make matters worse, we were preparing for a St. Patrick’s Day party the next day so all the light bulbs in the house had been replaced by green lights. Trying to calmly answer the questions from poison control while discerning if her coloring was off became frantic and futile. The three minutes following the incident were the most panicked and terrifying of my life; it was all a choking, screaming green blur.
Fortunately, we have a children’s hospital in my city and she was rushed in in less than 15 minutes after the incident. She was fine; no stomach pump, no terrifying tubes, alarms or any other scary hospital stuff. They said that because it was not industrial strength and she had consumed less than an ounce she would be fine. Her breath smelled like wintergreen for three days and the kid couldn’t fart without us inspecting every last inch of her. It turns out she had pushed the magazine basket up to the toilet, climbed onto the padded lid cover, and shaken the shelf until the bottle looking item fell free. I knew this because I saw her trying to do it again a week later but all chemicals were discarded by this point and her shaking only dislodged some towels.”
The Incident That Made Them All Almost Freeze To Death
“When I was around 5, we were driving up to Lake Tahoe and had car troubles so we had to stop at a gas station. While my parents were inside, I wandered around and managed to find one of those big freezers that hold bags of ice that you can buy. It was half empty so I, for some reason, thought it would be a great idea to open the door, climb inside, and shut it behind me. I was only in there for a minute before my mom came outside to grab something from the car. She wouldn’t have seen me at all except that I knocked on the inside of the glass and waved at her when she turned around. She sprinted over, opened the door and pulled me out. I didn’t understand why she was so freaked out until she told me that I wouldn’t have been able to open the door from the inside and I could have suffocated and froze to death in there. A few years later, she told me that she had nightmares for a couple weeks about her staying inside or not hearing me knock and finding me dead inside the ice machine.”
Her Parents Relaxation Was Replaced With A Surge Of Adrenaline
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“It was a beautiful fall afternoon and my wife and I had decided to go outside and work on completing some minor work on our new deck, enjoy the crisp weather, and listen to the Badgers game on the radio with an ice cold drink in hand. Having put our 16-month-old daughter down for her afternoon nap, this seemed like a wonderful idea. My fellow parents will likely recognize this as what’s called a golden opportunity to return with your spouse, as temporary as it would be, to a place of calm – enjoying each others’ company one-on-one, and reminiscing about how we had done this kind of thing all the time in our pre-child era. Earlier that day, we had run some errands and had picked up our usual monthly super mega ultra pack of diapers from the local warehouse club. We decided to leave the putting away for later and we left it in the kitchen. Twenty or thirty minutes later, our darling little angel appears at the screen door, tears in her eyes and crying out, ‘Mommy, Daddy, I got owie.’ Whatever relaxation that had crept into our lovely afternoon was instantly replaced with a surge of adrenaline as we both rushed over to see what happened. It was the tiniest little nick on one of her dainty little fingers, maybe 1/4 of an inch long. The adrenaline is replaced with sighs of thankfulness and parental curiosity as to how this had happened. Well, it turns out that as we were enjoying our suds and the weather, our little troublemaker had climbed out of her crib, crawled down the 7 steps from the upper level of the house, and into to the kitchen to retrieve a 10″ butcher’s knife from our knife drawer! What, you may ask was she doing with said knife?! ‘I help! I try open diapers,’ she explains. I proceeded to count the holes and there were no less than 58 entry wounds on that box of diapers. We were quite lucky to come out with just a simple cut requiring a small bandage that day, but whenever we’re at a social gathering and some new parent chats us up, complain sharing about how their child is ‘just so mischievous,’ we recall this story for them in an attempt to re-set the bar of their expectations, and share what it’s like to raise a truly high-spirited child.”
Jesus, Take The Wheel Away From These Kids
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“When me and my younger brothers were very little, my dad took him with us to run errands. He ran into the store and left us in the van. He wasn’t even gone for a minute before my brother somehow managed to get the car into reverse and we began wheeling backward toward the highway.
Luckily for us, we hit a pole that just happened to be behind us as my dad came bolting out of the store. What I remember best is my disappointment because we didn’t get the treat we were promised if we were good.”
He Lost His Head At the Sight Of His Niece About To Do The Same
“As a kid, I leaned over the side of an ascending escalator without realizing a lower ceiling was coming up. My uncle pulled me back probably seconds before decapitating myself. My mom looked absolutely horrified. She still talks about it whenever we go on an escalator and said that was the scariest moment of her entire life.”
Remember, Mother Always Knows Best
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“My parents told me to not climb on the fence at the back of the garden repeatedly when I was 8-years-old. I got smacked for it twice when spotted doing just that. You’d think I’d have learned not to do it… I did it for the third time, got to the top of this slatted fence, when the rotten fence gave way and I fell 6-feet head first onto ridged concrete, creating a 5-inch long split in my skull. It obviously was extremely painful and there was blood everywhere. I had to run all the way around the block to get back in. When my mom found me, she forced the local doctor to just sew it back in rather than waiting for an ambulance to go to hospital for them to do it. On the flip side, I never climbed that fence again.”
The Childish Measures He Took To Prevent His Sickness Only Escalated Things
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“When I was 4, I got into the medicine cabinet and drank 2 bottles of cough syrup so ‘I wouldn’t get sick.’ My mom had fallen asleep and my brother found me about to down my 3rd bottle. He smacked it out of my hand, called poison control and woke up my mom. I had my stomach pumped. For good reason, a lock was installed on the medicine cabinet.”
Climbing Trees Seems Pretty Harmless, Except In This Case
“Once my father came outside to find my brother who was 5 or 6 at the time. My brother was 15 feet up in one of the trees in front of our house. This wasn’t unusual, as he liked to climb these trees often. The difference that day was that he had a rope knotted around his neck and tied to the top of the tree for ‘safely.’ He had been watching TV and thought he needed some fall protection up there. My dad got it off him and got him down. That was the day my brother learned about hangings and why they’re counterproductive to the whole breathing thing.”
He Was Just Thirsty…
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“One day when I was about 3-years-old, I was thirsty and asked my family for a drink but no one would listen to me as our friends were around and they were all talking. I went to the bathroom sink to get water and apparently the bath tub was full for some reason. I must have leaned over the side to get a drink and fallen in face first. A couple of minutes later, my parents wondered where I was and found me face down in the bath unconscious and blue. They immediately called the ambulance and performed CPR. Although I have absolutely no recollection of this day at all, I know my parents were scared half to death.”
Snow Storm Scare
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“My 3-year-old son got up early and decided he was going to the neighbors to play. It was the middle of winter, in the middle of a snowstorm. We are not sure how he managed to get the door open since it was locked. I just happened to hear the door close and wondered who opened it. Then I noticed he was gone. I ran out with just boots and sleeping pants on and spent 15 minutes looking for him. Suddenly, another neighbor’s car pulled up. They had him wrapped in blankets. It turns out that he went to a wrong house. I was so relieved that it was a neighbor who found him and not a random stranger. That was certainly one of the scariest things I’ve experienced.”
Night Terrors Worthy Of A Horror Movie
“When I was a kid I used to get ‘night terrors’ which was basically sleepwalking, only I was screaming my face off the whole time. My parents used to wake up to me at the foot of their bed at the age of six with long dark hair hanging over my face, just screaming as loud as I could and completely unresponsive to incomprehensible questions like ‘What’s wrong!?’ In the morning, I didn’t remember anything. My dad says I looked like the girl in The Ring. After that, my parents started tying the doors together at night.”
Let’s Stick With The Toy Version, Please
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“My neighbor’s kid one time found out how to start their riding lawn mower. I wasn’t there when it happened, but he ended up cutting himself really badly while the blades were spinning. Apparently, his parents had no idea until he came running into the house crying and covered in blood.”
“It Still Panics Me To Think Of It”
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“This makes me feel like a horrible parent, but here we go: When my son was a toddler and had just learned to run, his mother and I decided to go out to eat with her dad one night. After eating, we realized we needed some things from the store so we went shopping. After shopping, we were on our way back home. Since my now ex-wife and I were carrying in groceries, I essentially assigned her dad to kid duty for the whole 3 minutes it took us to take groceries in. We got done with that, I see grandpa, but not with my son. I asked where my son was and my grandpa’s response was, ‘I didn’t know I was supposed to watch him.’ Immediately his mom and I ran outside yelling his name and hear a chuckle from the road. I made it to the road first and he started running from me but I swooped him up lickety-split. As I was walking up the driveway with him, while simultaneously yelling at my grandpa for leaving my child unattended, a car came hurtling down the street. My son was less than 30 seconds away from being hit by a car because grandpa failed to watch him for a whole 3 minutes or so. My boy is 4 now and it still panics me to think of that little incident. Needless to say, I don’t trust my son’s maternal grandpa with him.”
Potty Time Gone Terribly Wrong
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“My sister is four years younger than me and despite being only at most five at the time, I remember the time she terrified my parents clear as day. She was bad about getting into things. My parents had to call poison control multiple times for her eating things she shouldn’t, like detergent, dish soap, etc, despite their very diligent efforts to keep it out of reach. She was and still is a crafty little girl. One day, I was playing Barbies in our bedroom and had to go to the bathroom, so I went out and opened the door to the one bathroom the house had and found my little sister dunking something in the toilet. I yelled to my mom, ‘Mama! She’s playing in the potty again!’ and my mom came in to scoop my sister, who was probably one at the time, out of the bathroom so I could go. When my mom appeared in the bathroom, my little sister turned around and horrified us both. She had been dunking my mom’s safety razor in the toilet and brushing her teeth with it. She had the most ghoulish blood stained smile with blood all over her shirt. Thinking about it now still makes me cringe. This is why my mom’s hair went grey when she was 35.”
Chilling Prank That Sent Her Father Running
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“When I was younger, I got my first mobile phone with AA batteries in it. I was walking back from the shop around the corner from my house and decided to call my dad pretending a man was following me. I whispered something along the lines of, ‘Dad, dad, there’s someone following me, he’s running dad!’ and let out a fake scream. Then I hung up. The next thing I know, my dad’s running up around the corner with a huge knife in each hand shouting my name. I think I knew what I was doing, but didn’t realize how serious it was. What a jerk move from younger me.”
Those Aren’t Worms You’re Playing With, Son
“When I was around 4 or 5 years old my family lived out in the country. We were miles from anything that resembled a town. While playing outdoors one day, I had been digging around in the dirt of the landscaping beds relatively close to the house. I’d apparently found a knot of worms in the dirt and had decided to take them inside to wash them off in the bathroom sink. I don’t really remember the details about that part of the story.
Where my own memories take over the recounting of the event was when my older brother, who was nearly a decade my senior and a nature enthusiast, walked in and noticed the worms were swimming as I pushed at them with my fingers. I clearly remember that because I felt he was being a jerk when he, over my protests, calmly pulled me away from the sink and out of the bathroom. He pushed me ahead of him all the way to my parents’ bedroom and announced to my mother, who was the only adult home at the time, that I had just been playing with a sink full of baby snakes. Later, after mom stopped the 120 dB shrieking and my brother had handled the snakes, it revealed that they appeared to be baby copperhead snakes.”
It Was A Great Lesson
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“When I was a kid, like 4 or 5 years old, I played with a loaded weapon because I thought it was a toy. Thankfully, the safety was on and I was too much of a dumb kid to figure it out. My grandfather accidentally left it out and was understandably scared out of his mind when he found me. He didn’t yell at me or anything and I didn’t get in trouble. Ever since I’ve been very careful with all weapons. It was a great grandparenting and teaching moment, too.”
The Squirmy, Energetic Toddler Up To No Good
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“When I was around 2-years-old, my mom and grandma took me to a very large flea market. They were both engrossed in whatever they had found. I was a squirmy, energetic toddler. They had been letting me walk back and forth between them while they stood shopping on either side of the aisle. I guess I got bored with that because, after a few exchanges, I just followed the traffic down the aisle. It took them over 2 hours to find me. Now having my own 2-year-old, I couldn’t imagine the panic and fear my poor mother and grandmother went through.
My other tale takes place at the age of 5. We had been waiting for my dad in the car. My mom let me play around a bit and eventually showed me how to start the car. Later, I was bragging to my 4-year-old friend that I could drive. She didn’t believe me (probably because I couldn’t) so I decided to prove it and quietly snuck the keys from my mother’s purse. We both hopped into the car, I turned over the key and started the engine and then proceed to rev the engine trying to drive until we were caught. The car was pointed at a drop off into a dam about 20 feet away. It’s a good thing my mom didn’t teach me anything about gears.”
Well, I’ll Be Dam-ed
“When I was about 4-years-old, my parents took me and my 2-year-old brother to a dam. A park was built around it and there were food shacks littered on the edge of the dam. My parents started arguing about where to eat when I nonchalantly ducked under the railings and wandered away with my little brother tagging along. We stood on the edge of the dam and I thought I’d dip my feet in.
I got spooked by a grasshopper and lost my footing, taking my brother with me as I was holding his hand. Little did I know the reason the water was so black was because it was 15 meters (49 feet) deep at the edge. My parents told us this later: The only reason we’re still alive is because a food vendor saw the whole thing and was already running towards us before we fell in. They said they have never been more terrified in their lives.”
If He Hadn’t Stepped In, This Could’ve Been A Lethal Camping Trip
“I was walking past a set of campers who weren’t paying attention to their kid when he threw a can of spray-on sunscreen into their fire. I ran over and picked it out before anything could happen. The dad looked like he was about to club me to death when he saw me pull it out and mumbled his thanks. I don’t blame him for feeling that way when he saw some strange man running into his camp near his child.”
A Pool Party Disaster
“When my son was about 6 we were at a birthday pool party. He didn’t know how to swim and we had a serious talk about him staying where his feet could touch. Two minutes into the party, while I’m on the far side of him, he started going with purpose and speed to a very large pool toy in the middle of the deep end. He hopped right in and almost made it to the toy before slipping underneath it and though he started treading water he didn’t know to put his head up. Because of his position I had to run over and jump into the pool fully clothed and drag him back out. If I hadn’t been watching him I don’t think I would have ever seen he was under that toy and no other adults saw what happened, only me pulling him out. It scared the living daylights out of me.”
The Reason These Sisters Lost Their Laundry Room Privileges For Years
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“When I was 4, my 2-year-old sister and I got stuck in the front loading washer. We just wanted to see if we could get inside. First I crawled in, shut the door, and my sister opened it from outside. Then my sister crawled in and shut the door, and I opened it from outside. Then we both crawled in, shut the door, and… panicked when no one was outside to open it. Our parents heard us screaming and liberated us less than 5 minutes later, but we weren’t allowed near the laundry room until I was 9-years-old.”
“Never Seen My Dad Look So Scared”
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“When I was about three-years-old, my family and another family we were friends with rented a cottage on a lake. I convinced my friend who was also three at the time to play hide and seek without telling anyone we were playing. We hid in a shed by the water and quietly listened to our parents screaming our names and freaking out. The parents of my friend told me when I was older that they had never seen my dad look so scared. Apparently, he was in the water trying to find us because he thought we had drowned. My dad still hates to talk about that day. I was a jerk as a child.”
When She Got Ahold Of Medicine That Wasn’t Hers, The Panic Set In
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“When she was about 2, my daughter overdosed on sleeping tablets. For some background, she takes tablets herself daily and has practically done this from birth. When she was a baby, we crushed the tablets and mixed the powder with some milk and fed it to her in a syringe. As she got older, she just took the tablets herself but would chew them, I don’t know how as they are disgusting. One day we were in my dad’s flat and she was just pottering around but we didn’t hear her. My husband went to find her and found her in my dad’s bedroom with an open empty bottle of sleeping tablets. He asked her to open her mouth and she had white powder in her mouth. My dad reckoned she had eaten at least 6 of them. Thankfully, my dad lived within five minutes of the children’s hospital so we got her there quickly and she was able to take charcoal. She had to be kept in for observation but she was fine.
I have never ever felt so scared in my life. I was initially in shock but when I got to the hospital, I started babbling like an idiot and just cried. My husband was amazing throughout and I just fell to pieces. My dad felt absolutely awful, but it was just an unfortunate accident. He must have not put the lid back on the bottle right and being a man in his 60s living on his own, child safety was not really top of his mind. She never had any problems with it but still, my heart nearly stops when I think about it.”