There's nothing worse in life than being betrayed, especially by someone who one thought they could trust. Friends are supposed to be there through thick and thin, but unfortunately, sometimes they leave without any warning. Just ask these people.
People on Reddit share their saddest "I thought we were friends" moment. Content has been edited for clarity.
A Tough Realization
“Fourth grade, it was my best friend’s birthday. She had recently transitioned to homeschooling. Up until she was in homeschooling, we spent most days together and every single weekend. When she moved to homeschool, we only hung out every other weekend or so because she was busy with school.
I gave her a call to wish her a happy birthday. She was in the middle of her birthday party, she had invited all of her friends, which I then figured out I wasn’t one of.”
The Real Reason They Were Invited
“I got invited to a friend’s birthday party at a bowling alley. Eventually. I found out about the party and got invited only after one of his other friends couldn’t make it.
Even though we lived nearby and our families were close, we went to different schools and I guess I just wasn’t in the top friends. It sucks, but I guess I understood why I wasn’t invited to begin with. There’s a limit to how many kids you can take bowling.
Later, that other friend decided they could come after all. I got booted. I was less understanding of that one.
When we started talking again in college, years later, the dude turned out to be a compulsive liar and kind of full of himself for no reason. He dropped out after one semester after he decided (and according to him, the professors agreed) that there was nothing in the program he didn’t already know. He must have been right, too, since he now writes articles about local politics for a lesser newspaper. I’m sure he’s using his expert programming skills to good work there, being above the coursework and all.”
He Pretended Like Nothing Had Happened
“When I was in 5th grade I went on a student ambassador trip to Australia. I went with about 20 other kids my age and didn’t really get along with anyone. That combined with the fact I was home sick as heck for those two weeks made the trip pretty miserable.
There was one other kid on the trip I was friends with purely because we were the outcasts. He made me promise to stay his friend for the whole trip because the other kids were being really mean to him. We had a sort of pact against the popular kids.
Anyway, jump forward to the last night of our trip (you can probably see where this is going). We were at a restaurant and I asked him to sit with me. He walks right past me like he doesn’t even know me to sit with the popular kids. I walked over to their table and asked why he wouldn’t sit with me.
He looks at me dead in the face and says, in front of everyone else, ‘This annoying kid? We were never friends.’
I have never felt so betrayed in my life.”
They Never Found Out Why
“I’d been bullied for years in elementary school. When middle school started, there weren’t really any kids from my elementary in my homeroom class. So, no one knew I was ‘uncool,’ and I ended up best friends with three girls in my class. We hung out outside school all the time and were really close, which felt amazing after being rejected for so many years. We weren’t the ‘cool girls’ in our year but we kind of were in our class.
There was one girl who was really quiet and would always talk to me, and a lot of people made fun of her. I went out of my way to be nice to her because I knew how it felt to not have friends. Even my best friends didn’t really want her around, but they dealt with it because I was friendly with her.
This girl wasn’t my favorite person to hang out with because, for lack of a better word in describing an 11-year-old, she was soft. She would cry during sleepovers because she missed her parents, cry if she saw a spider, she’d cry at anything, really. I’d had a pretty rough childhood and had a relatively stiff upper lip, so I was annoyed by this but I never said anything and resolutely continued being her friend.
Halfway through the school year, I started getting emails from lots of different addresses telling me that I was a brat, and that everyone hated me and I should kill myself. I was told to kill myself by about 10 different emails replete with devil emojis per night. Messages started appearing in sharpie on the girl’s bathroom walls saying things like ‘Sara is a nasty girl.’
My three best friends, this girl, and my homeroom teacher all knew this was happening, and all tried to figure out who was doing this. The girl even ran to all of us and the teacher excitedly telling us she had discovered where the offender was hiding their sharpie (down inside the toilet seat cover dispenser). She was sleuthing it out to catch whoever was hurting me, her dear friend!
Turned out she was the one doing all of it. never found out why. Stopped talking to her.”
The Reason Was Finally Revealed
“She didn’t invite me to her wedding, though everyone else from our (smallish) group of friends was invited. I heard from it through our friends, who were very confused as to why she wasn’t inviting me. I had invited her to my wedding a couple of years before, though she couldn’t make it for family reasons, which was totally understandable for me. We were fine, as far as I knew. She told them ‘she didn’t invite me because she didn’t want people at her wedding who wasn’t going to be in her future.’
I was of course very hurt and confused because there hadn’t been any problems as far as I knew, and well, if she was done with me, what should I do? That was the moment for me. It was a mix of rejection, humiliation, impotence, and sadness. We had known each other for 15 years at this point.
I didn’t want to put our other friends in a weird situation so I just stood away.
Over the next few months, she contacted me several times to tell me very excitedly about her wedding plans, which we all found very weird. I didn’t really react but wasn’t confrontational either.
Well, she got married, and less than a year later I heard from our common friends that she was having tons of problems. I felt pity for her. I reached out and said that I didn’t know what had happened to make her not want me in her life, but that I was there anyway if she needed something.
She answered that her problem with me was that when I married, the day I had chosen to celebrate my wedding ‘seemed as if I didn’t want her to come.’ She had somehow expected to me to pick another date because it didn’t fit her schedule, and was furious ‘I hadn’t made any effort.’ This was the first time I was hearing about this and was astounded. I mean, at the time, she had told me she couldn’t make it, I understood it, and as far as I was concerned, all was well.
She had been angry with me for this for over three years, given what I thought was a friendship up, and made the situation for our common friends extremely awkward.
This was the moment when I realized that I didn’t want anything else to do with her.”
What Type Of “Friends” Are These?
“When I was 21, I was dating this guy, we were living together and everything. He seemed super nice, came off as so charming to everyone (good-looking, nice, good family). Anyways, one day I come home from work and I notice all his stuff is gone. I was devastated because there was no indication anything was wrong before he left. He just up and left, completely ghosted me.
During the time, I dated this guy I introduced him to my closest friend group, one of whom was my best friend since grade school. This breakup really rocked me, ended up going to the hospital and everything. So, a week after the break up my best friend (and my other close friend at the time) told me that I should meet ex’s new girlfriend because she’s so nice and I’d really like her.
They also told me I should stop being so sad and move on already. It was one of the most heartbreaking experiences in my life and I’ve been through some pretty messed up stuff. Needless to say, I don’t talk to any of those people anymore and the ex married that girlfriend.”
She Finally Snapped
“A girl I was friends with for five or six years or so and I stopped talking. I came to the realization she only wanted me around because no matter what, she knew I’d be there to clean up any mess she created. She treated me like trash constantly, always put me down, stood me up, never actually cared about me, never listened to anything that was troubling me, and most of the time ignored me unless she needed me to do something for her.
The last straw was months went by without us talking, I’d messaged her loads but no reply, and all of a sudden after months I get a text ‘I’m pregnant and it isn’t my boyfriend’s.’ I was in a servo traveling and I just thought, forget this nonsense, I’m done and blocked her number. I was with my ex at the time who helped me through the process but my god it really freaking hurt – years and years of time and effort put into that relationship for nothing.”
Those 15 Years Meant Nothing To Them
“For almost fifteen years, I was a core participant in an ever-evolving group of singers that performed in various capacities (entertainment or church music, etc.). There would be folks who would come and go, but I along with several others were pretty regular fixtures.
Towards the end of that time, my (at the time) new wife and I took an opportunity to work internationally and did so for a couple of years. During that time, this group of singers continued on as always and we stayed connected as we could and kept in touch with these friends knowing that we would eventually be back.
After two years, we returned to the area and I was excited to get re-acquainted and reconnected with the group and my friends of 15+ years. And it was like I was treated like an outcast or an annoying stranger. Over fifteen years, and I was completely unwelcome by people I thought were my friends all that time. It was a bitter pill to swallow. A year or so later, we moved away from the area and I am hardly in touch with any of them at all. I still feel burned and it still stings if I dwell on it to long.”
The Came That Never Came
“We met freshman year of college, and a few years after we graduated she asked me to be her maid of honor. The wedding was called off a few weeks before the wedding ( this turned out to be a good thing). I initially tried to call and text, but then gave space as that seemed like what she wanted. After two years of practical radio silence, I kind of got the picture, or so I thought.
Then she randomly texted me and another friend from college a picture of her hand with a new engagement ring. Apparently she’d been dating someone else for a while now and was engaged. I was surprised and didn’t respond because that was almost the only time she reached out to me in two years.
Fast-forward a couple of weeks later, and she texted asking if it was still my number and if I’d heard her news. When I said I had, I was just surprised because I didn’t know she was seeing someone else. However, if she was happy then I was happy. She went into an incredibly long apology and asked if I could/would fly to their semi destination wedding. I politely declined, mainly because a family member would be visiting soon. She then said that she wanted to call on one of two days so that we could catch up and all that.
I mistakenly agreed and after a little small talk that was that. Well, the day/time she said she would call rolls around and I stare at the phone that’s never going to ring. It’s been two months since then and haven’t heard one word from her.”
It Was Just A Simple Question
“My former best friend’s wife (we were friends too but to a slightly lesser extent) told me that she had volunteered me to bake and decorate the cake for a mutual friend’s baby shower. The original plan, upon hearing that our friend was pregnant, was for both of us to throw a shower for her. It was my idea and she accepted. I guess that went out the window. I agreed to do the cake and asked my friend what the budget was. Never heard another thing about it, she stopped replying. We saw each other at a couple of other occasions after that, and she behaved normally so I figured she just changed her mind.
I found out later that she told the mother to be that I was a brat who refused to do the cake for her. She was furious with me and saved it up for months, pretending everything was fine.
‘Uh, and I know about your rudeness with my shower cake.’
Um, no, I just wasn’t doing a special occasion cake for free. I asked her husband before she made him stop talking to me, what was going on and he said that his wife had hoped I would just offer to do it for free because they’re broke. I was broke too, sorry I didn’t want to spend hours on something for free. I had given them quarts of free ice cream, many free cupcakes, and cakes. Guess it wasn’t enough.
Our friendship didn’t end over that, but I was so taken aback by being slandered all over my asking what the budget was.
Forget you, Brittany, you’re a freeloader.”
Where Did This Come From?
“I was playing online and met some people I became friends with. We did a lot of things together, and they gave me expensive in-game items and I felt happy. They were a lot of fun to spend time with. I felt like I had another place I belonged.
I told them one day I had been depressed and was really down. Didn’t go into why just left it at that.
The next day, the ‘leader’ of the group sent me a couple of private messages. She said she didn’t like me anymore and wanted one of the gifts back. I was confused because it came out of nowhere. She kept being mean and I asked if she was playing a joke on me. She called me pathetic and kept on until I gave it back
The game has a forum section and she went in there talking trash about me. Got more people to rally her side without mentioning my name. They said a lot of awful things and talked about how annoying and terrible I sounded. She called me an attention seeker. The same went for one or two other group members. They talked about me too.
I remember crying a lot, and being completely heartbroken. I wanted to say something there but decided to save my pride and leave it as is. One friend in the group hadn’t, and was really kind. She didn’t know what was happening and wanted to hear my side of the story and sounded really worried. I told her and she told me it sounded like I loved everyone more than they did. I felt more understood by that and was more hopeful. Still, I cut my losses, moved all my items to a new account, and started fresh (save for the friends I wanted to keep in touch with).
I know it was online, but I was a really sheltered teenager. I also had a weak immune system, so I was constantly missing from school and didn’t have as many chances to make friends in real life. Throughout high school, I also dealt with my depression (which got rediagnosed as bipolar disorder), and had three psych hospitalizations for a suicide attempt with psychosis and suicidal thoughts.
To me, for a while, online has been my main source of social interaction. It sucks, but it’s the way things have been. Following that event, I’ve had issues sometimes opening up to people and some fears of abandonment. I’m getting a lot better, but it still flares up.”
Some Bad Influnces
“I was best friends with a girl named Kelly from Kindergarten to 5th grade. Let’s be real, our moms were friends and we didn’t hate each other early on, so we basically spent all our time together. Our moms traded off picking us up from school. I was at her house every weekend or she was at mine. I’m an only child, so sometimes my parents let me take a friend with me on family trips to stave off loneliness, so we traveled together a lot too.
The summer before transitioning to Middle School (going into 6th grade), there was a ‘new students’ mixer’ to introduce the new 6th grade students to the rest of the class coming in from 5th grade. This way, everyone would know each other. I wasn’t able to make it to that mixer due to a conflict with a family event.
On the first day of school, I run up to Kelly with my arms out for a hug because I hadn’t seen her in more than a month. She’s standing with two of the new girls, who she met at the mixer a couple of weeks before.
One of the new girls says, ‘Kelly doesn’t hang out with losers,’ and they turn and walk away from me.
Kelly didn’t say anything to me that day and stopped hanging out with me in favor of her new friends. I found some new friends, and we just stopped hanging out altogether.
I learned as an adult that her parents were going through a rough patch that year. When they were arguing particularly loud and Kelly needed help with something, she would call my mom to ask for help so that she didn’t get in the middle of the war zone. She probably just let those girls lead her because her life was falling apart. It didn’t make what happened hurt any less.”
Who Would Want To Be Friends With Her Anyway?
“I took a step back from my primary friend group because the self-named ‘leader’ of the group didn’t like me and wasn’t inviting me to things. She always insisted on hosting the parties and weekly game nights. Since they were at her apartment, she had full control over who was allowed to come. She would never invite me to anything, and then whenever I brought it up with someone else in the group, they would always say that they wanted me to come. But since she was hosting, they couldn’t really force the issue.
Whenever she was asked about it, either by me or by others, she would always say that she just didn’t have the room in her apartment to invite everyone over, so she had to be ‘selective.’ But then she would let people bring random plus-ones from online dating websites or would invite people she worked with that she barely knew. The really petty part is that they’d always post dozens of pictures about it in our big Snapchat group, even though everyone else in that group was at that party except me and maybe one other person. So they were just rubbing my nose in the fact that I was being left out all the time.
One day I decided to try to host something at my apartment since she wouldn’t be able to exclude me that way. Only two people showed up, and they left early to go to the party she was hosting that night. Made me realize that none of them were really my friends. I left the group chat that night, deleted most of them off all social media platforms, and haven’t looked back.”
Why Didn’t He Say Anything?
“In 7th grade, I went to go talk to my best friend who was talking to this 8th-grade girl. The three of us were all in band and that’s the only reason I knew who she was. She and I had never had any interaction prior.
I waited till there was a break in their conversation and then said ‘Hey’ to my friend.
This girl jumps in, ‘You know, nobody here likes you, everyone would be happier if you just disappeared.’
I wasn’t (and still am not) sure why she said this, but I look to my best friend, surely he will set her straight. He can’t even look me in the eye, he has this sheepish look on his face, doesn’t say a word. I turned away with tears burning my eyes, a lump in my throat, and an empty feeling in my stomach. That marked the first, of what would be many times in strongly considered ending my own life. My best friend won’t even defend me so maybe it’s true, maybe the best thing I can do is not exist anymore.
It’s been over 10 years, and while I’m doing better, it definitely took its toll on me and my mental state.”
This Is Just Plain Awful
“So this was in 4th grade or so. Had a new girl in class who had to retake the school year because she didn’t pass the first time.
Before that, I already had some problems fitting in but had two very good friends. When the new girl came they started spending more and more time with her rather than me, and she never made an effort to hide the fact that she somehow didn‘t like me.
Well, one day I got a phone call from a new girl and my friends, saying they were going to the indoor swimming pool, that her mom was driving, and asked if I wanted to come too.
I was really happy, started grabbing my things and told my mom about it. The plan was to meet at the new girl‘s house. So I go there, ring the bell and the new girl‘s sister opens the door. She tells me no one‘s here, they‘re all at another girl’s house, and I must‘ve misunderstood where they were meeting. While she was saying this, I could clearly hear giggling from inside the house and see all their shoes standing in the hallway.
Went home heartbroken. My mom got furious and went over there herself giving them a piece of her mind. They all apologized the next day but nothing really changed, made the remaining time in that school heck.”