Ever been on date so bad you had to just stand up and leave? These people did!
Just A Minor Detail To Leave Out
I was in my late teens and went on a date with a friend of a friend. He seemed nice, and I got the OK from my bff, so I anticipated a pleasant, quiet evening – we were just going for frozen yogurt and TV at his house, after all. Well everything’s going smooth and he seems really sweet. He tells me he likes to write poetry and my teenage girl brain is thinking, ‘Wow! A sensitive guy! How refreshing.’ Then he tells me that he wants to show me something. I assumed it was a poem he wrote because we had just talked about it.
ME: ‘Ok! What is it?’
HIM: ‘Well, it’s not ready yet, but it will be in a couple minutes.’ As he leans over on his side, away from me. ME: Confused, because I’m expecting a poem… is he going to write a poem in a couple minutes? This is going to be awkward.
Then he starts making all these innuendos about what it is. I get annoyed because he sounds like he’s describing his penis, and the joke is dying fast. Finally, just to shut him up, I say, ‘If it’s your DICK then NO I DON’T want to see it!’
HIM: ‘Oh… okay then.’ And he sits back normally on the couch. I’m super confused and think he’s pulling my leg. I ask if he’s kidding and says no. He seriously wanted to whip out his junk and show me.
ME: ‘What the hell am I supposed to say to you while your dick is out?!’
HIM: ‘Well, my last girlfriend told me she’d been waiting to see it all night.’ ME: Stunned silence. Then, ‘Ohh…kay…’
Being the awkward teen I was, I sat back into the couch, not touching him (we had been cuddling up until that conversation) and uncomfortably waited out the remainder of whatever show was on TV – and then bolted. After I got home, I called my BFF and frantically told her what had happened. Her response? ‘Ohhh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. He likes to do that.’ (Source)
Literally WTF
“This was a third date, he was a nice enough guy, an editor at the local newspaper. We’re at his house and he’s made me dinner and suddenly he drops in normal conversation that his fetish is having sex with girls that are unconscious. I immediately stopped eating, stopped drinking, and made my exit. I did not get roofied but damn was I scared that it was in the cards for that night. His exact words were ‘You’re so sexy. I’d love to share something with you since we seem to be hitting it off… Yada yada yada.’ I excused myself to the bathroom and pretended to get an emergency call. He got arrested two years later for being a peeping tom, then moved away. I swear this happened. I met some real weirdos when I was doing the OK Cupid thing. For instance, met a guy that said a black panther was his spirit animal and that she came to him in his dreams. Sometimes she told him to do bad things to people, but she was OK with me. That one never got a second date…but I saw his engagement notice in the paper a year later.” (Source)
Nothing Screams Bad First Date Like Forced Karaoke
“OKcupid date – emailed back and forth, had some common interests, seemed like we would get along. We met up and got food, a couple drinks, seemed to be getting along well. Then he starts talking about how good he is at Karaoke. He’s been in contests and won first place, he and his friends go all the time, etc. I tell him I’ve only done karaoke a few times, when very drunk and with a big group of friends. I also mention that I’m pretty sure I’m tone deaf. He tells me there is a Karaoke place only one block away!!! I tell him I’m not interested. He tells me you get your own little booth. No one else will even hear you. You can pick whatever songs you want!!! No waiting while other people sing!!! It’s clear he’s not giving up, so I grab two shots of vodka and say fine, I’ll try it. We go to the karaoke lounge and get our booth and he does three or four songs perfectly. I start my first song and he starts criticizing me, and pointing out what i’m doing wrong WHILE I’m trying to sing. Then he picks up the other mic and starts singing over me. I say f_ck this and just get up to leave. He chases after me and tells me – ‘I need you to pay for half of this.’ It’s $60. I look in my wallet, take out the only cash I had and said “here’s $20, and you can go f_ck yourself”. Then he follows me to the bus stop and tried to make idle chit chat while I wait to get the f*ck away from him.” (Source)
Poor Guy
Had joined a new sports club and there was one guy who was quiet and kind of just hung around the periphery of the group. I felt kind of bad for him so I was always trying to bring him into conversations and talk to him. One night we all went out for drinks after the game and I talked to him for awhile. Conversation was hard work but he seemed like a nice guy. He texted and asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee. I wasn’t really interested but I knew given how quiet he was that it probably took a ton of nerve to text me that and I thought maybe in a 1:1 environment he would be more comfortable and I could get to know him a little more. We met at the coffee shop and he had a big backpack with him. We ordered drinks then chatted, with me again doing most of the talking – he rarely initiated but would answer questions. About 1/2 hour in he said he had a few things to show me to let me get to know him better. He proceeded to do a show and tell from his backpack pulling out various items and pictures and telling me about them. Some were kind of interesting (a family trip) and some I had no idea how to respond to (here is a picture of how I had my hair cut in grade 8). He had stuffed animals and lots of items from his childhood. I kept trying to bring the conversation to the present to find out if the item linked to a current interest or hobby but he kind of had the story about each item rehearsed and he would go right back to the show and tell. Eventually the table was full of stuff and I tried to politely say that I had seen enough and to change the topic. He told me had still had more to show me. I ended up saying I felt sick and left. I felt kind of bad but it was just getting too weird. (Source)
Well How Was He Supposed To Know About The Random Orgy?
“I left in the middle of a movie once. The date was going great but I forgot that I had left a pot pie in the oven in my apartment (only broke college guys and old people eat pot pies). I remembered a few minutes in and whispered something along the lines of ‘gotta get my pot pie out of the oven so I don’t burn down my apartment I’ll be right back.’ I did return but she was pissed. Thought we could go see the pot pie and have a laugh. Arrived at my previously empty apartment to find my brother and the neighbor girls drunk and naked in my living room. Showed her the pot pie and she said something along the lines of ‘you’re an asshole take me home.'” (Source)
What Are The Odds It Happens Again?
“I’ve had a girl walk out on me, took me weeks to realize why. This was date 3. We’d met initially at a nightclub randomly, kinda just said hi and our groups merged (the boys and her girls), met up a week later at a carnival and had a great time. This day in particular, we met up for a basic lunch at a nice little spot near my place and just had nothing to talk about (which was odd, she seemed semi vacant). Lunch goes by with small talk, we pay separately and she asks to come back to my place – no problems there, she’s an attractive girl and I have a penis. Anyhow, we get back to my place, she throws on a dvd while I snack up the coffee table and we start talking about pet peeves with the opposite sex. Usual things come up first, like toilet seat positioning and ‘get ready time’ for outings. Somehow it leads on to a story about this girl I knew who was ‘dating’ me whilst having an actual boyfriend on the side, and how disrespectful it was in the end. She just goes pale white, grabs her stuff and makes some excuse about forgetting something at home. I thought I’d maybe sounded a bit cocky or come across like a douchebag, kinda felt like an ass for a day or so and moved on. My housemate ran into her and her boyfriend shopping a week later. That was awkward.” (Source)
Date Over
Guy from OkCupid a few years back. Takes me to a 5 star restaurant, I try to stick to the middle of the road drinks/food as it’s a first date. Dinner went really well so we decide to go for post-dinner drinks. I get to the point where I feel I should stop drinking since it’s a first date and I wasn’t really ready for him to see me trashed. He orders me another drink and then invites me over to his house because his wife is out of town. Date over. (Source)
“Not Gonna Work Out” Is An Understatement
“We had been on a couple of dates, and he invited me to his house to watch a movie. I showed up and he immediately brings me an Ice Pick. I don’t like vodka and I wasn’t in the mood to drink, but I thanked him for the drink and I sipped on it a little. He commented that I wasn’t drinking fast enough. I said ‘Oh, well I’m not really in the drinking mood.’ He kept pressuring me to drink. I inspected my glass to make sure there was no residue or anything else in it. There wasn’t, but when I finished he made me another without asking. I thanked him, but said that I really didn’t want another. He told me not be rude and that I should have drinks with him if he’s making them for me. When I finished that one I said ‘I really don’t want another.’ He brings me another. It’s obvious that he’s trying to get me drunk. He keeps trying to make out with me and I said that I really wanted to watch the movie. He keeps, literally, pulling my face towards him and shoving his tongue down my throat. I turned the other way on the couch, so I had my feet down by him and he couldn’t get to my face. He then gets on the floor, and walks on his mother f*cking knees to my face and starts trying to kiss me again. I said I needed to go to the bathroom. I quietly called my best friend and told her I need her to call me back with something ‘urgent’ in a couple of minutes so I could get out of a bad date. She did, and I took off. After that he kept trying to call and text me a lot and I just told him ‘Look, you were obviously trying to get me drunk, and kept forcing kisses after I said I wanted to watch the movie. This is not gonna work out.'” (Source)
Excuse Me?!
It was an OkCupid date and we met for coffee after talking awhile. He had a sour look on his face when I got there, so I wasn’t expecting too much. When our coffee came out, he said ‘I’m glad you didn’t ask me to pay for that, because I don’t think you should be drinking something with that many calories.’ I’m a fat person, but he was way fatter than me, so I thought he was being self-deprecating. I was prepared to roll my eyes and let it go, but then he ranted for about 15 minutes about how women were getting too fat and how they should be pressured to lose more weight. Eventually I stopped him with a ‘You saw my picture! Why did you even agree to coffee?’ His answer was ‘I was hoping you had lost weight since the picture was taken, because no one would put themselves on a dating app in that condition.’ (Source)
She’s A Keeper Alright
“I told her I was color blind, she recoiled and said it was ‘gross’ and sat there looking at me like I had the plague or something. I just sort of got up and left. It was really odd.” (Source)
Check Please
“She brought up politics & religion, attacked my stance on both, then pestered me about my financial stability all before they brought out the bread.” (Source)
You And Me Both Buddy
“We were already dating, but I thought it would be nice to take her for a meal one evening. She walked in, followed by her sister, then her best friend… And their respective boyfriends, all of whom had no money. She got upset when I said I didn’t have enough money to feed six when a meal for two would have set me back £40 or more, so I left. She sent me a text on my way home saying we were over, I didn’t bother replying. To this day I have no idea why she thought it was socially acceptable to bring four more people to our date without telling me first.” (Source)
Yikes
Had been on a couple of dates with this guy. At his place, watching a movie. He climbs on top of me. I tell him I’m not comfortable. He does it again, adding, “I like shy girls.” Date over. (Source)
This Guy Knows How To Pick Em’
“She started talking about ‘our wedding’ and ‘our future kids’ on our first date. She wasn’t joking around, and when I told her that it was way too sudden to be talking about that, she looked at me quizzically and said ‘Don’t you want to get married?’ First online date I’d ever gone on. Plenty of awkward ones after that (including the girl who got drunk then admitted she had an infant son and lived with her ex-husband), but that one took the cake. (Source)
Well At Least The Baby Was Sober (Maybe)
“Met a girl online, she shows up for our first date drunk, with her drunk friend… and one month old son that she had forgot to mention (baby was sober I think). I excused myself to the restroom and ran like my ass was on fire.” (Source)
Like A Boss
“We met online. She brought her sister on our first date. She never spoke and all her sister did was drill me about ‘my plans’ and ‘my intentions.’ After ordering she said ‘I hope you’re planning on paying. That’s what a real man would do on a first date.’ So I said ‘true but this wasn’t a date, it was a job interview.’ I dropped my half in cash and walked out. Btw I drove us there. Never heard from them again.” (Source)
Ya Snooze Ya Loose, Buddy
“He was 45 minutes late, got mad that another guy had started chatting me up at the bar while I waited, then proceeded to tell me about the hidden satanic messages in the opening ceremony of the Olympics.” (Source)