When life is out to get you its good to have some skin in the game, better yet, a cunning grandma with an axe to grind.
The Game of Life
There are limitless ways to play the so-called game of life. One can tumble through it without a care in the world, while others speak softly and carry a big stick, or wear a sweet smile while carrying their demons. It’s a game of wits, patience, and cunning depending on how you look at it. That’s because life is also full of scoundrels and tyrants who will stop at nothing to get their way. When folks are driven by their egos, it helps to have good people looking out for you.
Such is the story of “Lucy.” A well-intentioned woman who became bogged down and entrapped by the likes of a classless and conniving family that she almost married into. Keyword is almost. Usually, with breakups folks have the pleasure of having a clean getaway, but for Lucy the drama and scorn of her marriage haunted her like a specter.
But it helps to have friends in high places, or better yet family. When the world seems to turn against you and you have nowhere to turn, it’s good to have your flesh and blood on your side. Enter Lucy’s grandma, “Elizabeth.” Or you can almost call her Queen Elizabeth for how calm, collected, and classy she is. We won’t give it away yet, but when the world came falling down for Lucy, Elizabeth was there to not only catch her but make the cretins who broke her heart pay, and pay dearly.
Grandma Elizabeth may look like a sweet old lady but underneath that gentle exterior is a mastermind of revenge. It may be Lucy’s story, but Grandma is certainly the star of this show.
Like A Hellish Hallmark Film
Okay, so back to Lucy. So once upon a time, there was Lucy and her boyfriend of nine years, “Graham.” The two had just celebrated their seventh anniversary when Graham popped the four-word question that every woman loves to hear, “Will you marry me?” Lucy instantly said yes, but with one caveat. They would wed in two years in order to save up money and have the perfect wedding.
Everybody was ecstatic except for one person, Graham’s tyrant mother, “Rhonda.” Now Rhonda had her problems, but she absolutely detested Lucy.
“I don’t know why but she never liked me since day one and she was not shy in showing it,” Lucy recalled. “This woman would incessantly accuse me of being unfaithful, but her favorite insult to call me was ‘gold digger.’”
Well, news flash Rhonda, but Lucy actually makes more money than your precious boy, Graham, so it’s anybody’s guess where the ‘gold digger’ assumption comes from. Also on top of that, Lucy came from an affluent family and was not looking for a handout.
Now Lucy knew dealing with Wretched Rhonda would be difficult but she had no clue how much of a pain in the butt she would be. It was Lucy and Graham’s wedding but Rhonda wanted to micromanage the whole thing. This included changing little details without anybody’s consent to even revoking invitations to folks she didn’t like!
Also another thing about wedding planning, but most bridal places don’t do refunds. When it was all said and done, Lucy and Graham had paid almost twice the original cost of their wedding thanks to his mother wanting to redo EVERYTHING.
And if Rhonda didn’t get her way she threw a tantrum. Lucy quickly learned the best way to avoid confrontation was to simply do as she commanded.
Saying Yes To The Dress
Now easily one of the most exciting yet stressful parts of any wedding, is the bride’s dress. Lucy had a lovely, handmade gown ready for her special day. It was crafted by a close friend of her mother’s and took over a year to make. It was as heartfelt as it was gorgeous.
As you can imagine, Rhonda hated it. But so what, right? Lucy should just wear it anyways! Wrong. Just two months before the wedding, Rhonda had stolen the dress and disposed of it because she found it hideous. Lucy was devastated.
I had a full on anxiety attack when I found out about what she’d done. Rhonda also belittled my emotions, calling my anxiety attack ‘a cry for attention’ and that I was just being ‘over dramatic,’ Lucy lamented. ‘It was too late to fix the dress so I ended up buying a new wedding dress. By this time we were way over our budget for the wedding because of this monster.’
So far, Lucy had endured plenty of emotional abuse and hardship to get to her big day. Surely, after all this turmoil she would be rewarded with a memorable wedding. As the day fast approached, Lucy held her breath.
Graham The Goner
Well, it wouldn’t be a dramatic story without the groom going AWOL…but that’s exactly what Graham did. On the most important day of her adult life, Lucy’s partner of nine years was nowhere to be found. And of course, according to Rhonda this was somehow Lucy’s fault.
“Wedding day comes, lo and behold my dashing fiance was a no show. No one knew where he was and no one could reach him. I was devastated, and a crying mess. And of course, his own mother thought it was a perfect opportunity to verbally attack and mock me,” Lucy recalled.
To this day, the poor woman considers it the lowest day of her life; abandoned at the altar, being accosted by none other than the mother of your spineless fiance who threw out your prized wedding dress. With no husband and no honeymoon, Lucy went right back to work just to distract herself from the betrayal.
Gossip travels very quickly in a smalltown. After not hearing from her now ex-fiance in three days, Lucy got word that spineless Graham had been sleeping with one of Lucy’s mutual friends, Kourtney. Now that’s low…but here’s the kicker…Kourtney was also LUCY’S COWORKER. So even after that trainwreck of a wedding, Lucy had to endure her workdays with her ex’s mistress!
A non-confrontational person, Lucy did her best to keep her nose to the grindstone but it was hard to work with Kourtney openly boasting about how Lucy’s ex treats her like a princess. Between Graham dating Kourtney and now in league with Wretched Rhonda, it seemed like all of Lucy’s demons had formed an alliance of evil.
Also being part of an affluent family painted a big target on Lucy’s back. Rhonda and Kourtney apparently got along like a pack of jackals, spouting nasty things about Lucy and her family name. Lucy tried to be civil and even reached out to her ex to have them cut it out, but of course he sided with his floozy. Defeated, she held her head in her hands. Nowhere in this town was safe for her.
Grandma To The Rescue
No matter the circumstance, Grandma Elizabeth has always been there for Lucy. With both of her parents deceased, it was up to Elizabeth to raise Lucy into the woman she is today.
Lucy described her grandma as “The epitome of what a classy woman is. She has this aura that is really kind and comforting but can be very intimidating when the situation calls for it, which is why she is well-respected and well loved in our community.”
After trying her best to keep her cool, Lucy turned to her grandmother for wisdom. With all the mud-slinging and bad blood swirling around, Lucy was ready to go to war with her trio of rivals. To quote Lucy herself, she was “determined to obliterate my spineless ex and his ugly broad.”
But cooler heads did prevail. Lucy talked to her grandma about what to do and Elizabeth, in her infinite wisdom, talked her granddaughter down. Instead of revenge, she offered Lucy a solution, an escape; skip town and just leave all the drama behind. Lucy’s rage dissipated and she did just that. She bid goodbye to her hometown, only staying in contact with her beloved grandma.
It was bittersweet but it wouldn’t be forever. Nor would this be the end of Lucy’s saga with Graham, Kourtney, and Rhonda. She wasn’t about to admit defeat just yet. But when the time came, her hometown would call Lucy back. But for now, she had to work on herself. Lucy skipped town with hope in her heart.
A New Beginning In An Old Town
The two years away from town did Lucy well. Without those villains at her back she was able to focus on moving on, but there was always a lingering curiosity in the back of her head. Two years had passed when Lucy received an invitation to her high school reunion. The timing was honestly quite impeccable. By now, Lucy had begun to miss her friends and family. Her hometown was finally calling her back once again.
Everybody was surprised to see Lucy. She was met with smiles, but once again news of her ex and Kourtney began to seep in. While in line for a drink at the reunion, she heard two women chatting about Kourtney being pregnant with Graham’s child. Lucy shook her head to clear her mind, but her curiosity was getting the best of her. She just had to know.
“The following day, I met up with my favorite cousin, and my curiosity got the best of me, so I asked him about what went on when I left. And oh boy, I was not ready for the tea,” Lucy admitted.
She was distraught from all the rumors and insults those three had been spreading around town. Feeling anxious she went to Grandma Elizabeth’s for comfort, but even granny couldn’t bear to see her own granddaughter this way.
“The happy grandma from the next door was gone, she always had a gloomy smile, even the way she talked changed. She talked about how bad she felt for me, how she was hurting so much that her precious granddaughter was going through such a rough time, how it broke her heart knowing that she couldn’t do anything to ease my pain,” Lucy said.
But despite the sadness, Elizabeth kept up her class act. She called things “unfortunate” but not once did she speak ill of Graham, Kourtney, or Rhonda.
The Truth Comes Out
Being a pillar of the community, folks noticed how Elizabeth’s demeanor changed. Slowly but surely the truth began to come out. Soon, the homewrecker trio became a bit of a social pariah in the smalltown. Folks certainly cared about what Grandma Elizabeth said and thought because she had far-reaching roots. In fact, even Rhonda’s husband was one of Elizabeth’s students back in the day. When he heard how Rhonda treated Lucy and threw out her wedding dress he decided that enough was enough and filed for a divorce. Lucy’s family, being influential in the area, also cut ties with those folks.
It certainly pays not to stir trouble in a smalltown! But these consequences go even deeper! So, Spineless Graham had been working up the ladder to become department chief. It would’ve been a big deal because he was slated to be the youngest person to uphold the position. But as fate would have it, Graham’s boss was Lucy’s step mom’s husband, and a close family friend. When he got word of Graham leaving his dear Lucy at the altar his promotion went right down the drain.
Can you guess who was behind the scenes pulling the strings? Little old, deceivingly sweet Grandma Elizabeth. She in fact, decided that it would be unprofessional to outright fire Graham, so she directed to merely have him transferred.
Now It’s Kourtney’s Turn
But things only got worse for Spineless Graham. In fact, he got the whole script flipped on him. Turns out, Kourtney had been cheating on Graham with her wealthy boss. The boss’s wife had caught her husband in a lie but did not know who the third party was. Kourtney’s secret was safe until Elizabeth made the connection and hired a private eye to dig up the truth. The P.I. turned up some incriminating texts and photos that allowed the wife to sue her husband for 80% of his property holdings.
On top of that, she even managed to get Kourtney’s business licenses revoked on grounds of moral turpitude. Yet, this hole only keeps getting deeper. With more eyes investigating the business holdings, it was discovered that Kourtney and her boss were also embezzling money. After that, Kourtney had to go on the legal defense, draining her finances.
While Lucy was crying her eyes out trying to take the high road, Grandma Elizabeth, with her sweet old lady routine, made it her mission to personally destroy Graham, Kourtney, and Rhonda’s lives one by one.
Now that’s what we call revenge.
But What…There’s Somehow Even More
Just to add the cherry on top. Lucy also said that her grandmother ran into a special someone while at the store; none other than Cheating Kourtney herself. Having already done enough damage, little ole Elizabeth decided to rub some more salt into the wound. She decided to have a little chat with Kourtney.
She approached Kourtney with a smile on her face, while holding a bottle of olive oil. With a huge, sickly sweet smile, she began to quietly talk MAJOR trash to Kourney’s face. Elizabeth was also wise not to raise her voice or look angry. She simply ripped Kourtney a new one with a full smile.
Kourtney, being an unstable hag, went on the offensive. In a grocery store full of people, she began to yell and berate this poor grandmother like a psycho. Grandma Elizabeth grinned even more. Stupid Kourtney had taken the bait. While she went into a yelling frenzy, bystanders began gathering, some even called a manager.
When security arrived and asked what happened, the doting Elizabeth raised her hands and said, “I approached her because I wanted to know if this was the right kind of cooking oil I was looking for, I couldn’t read the label since I forgot my glasses at home. I’m sorry miss, I didn’t mean to bother you, I just needed some help.”
Elizabeth made sure to really lather on the sweetness this time. This only angered Kourtney even more who was now getting recorded by folks on their cellphones.
Kourtney tried to get another word in when the manager stopped her and said, “Ma’am, the old lady just needed some help, and I’m pretty sure she would leave you alone if you just told her you did not want to be bothered.”
Elizabeth then calmly replied with “It’s alright sir, I was at fault here. Again, I’m sorry miss, hope you have a lovely day ahead.” She then smiled very widely and went about her day while the crowd gave Kourtney countless glares. Now that is how you take care of business.
There are limitless ways to play the game of life. Full of hope, hatred, cunning, or cowardice. Graham, Kourtney, and Rhonda had each selected their own paths and were now reaping their rewards. But life also has its way of maintaining balance. Maybe Grandma Elizabeth was simply life’s karmic instrument. In a world of scoundrels it’s good to have folks like dear Grandma Elizabeth.