Contents edited for clarity. We've all had that one really awful date. It all went bad faster than a ripe banana and we had to find a way to get out of there. And fast! Terrible dates seem to be, unfortunately, really common. And some people are better at escaping than others. Most of the time, we don't even know how bad it could really get until it already happened and we look back on it. Tell us about your rough dating experience. Was it the first date, a blind date, maybe a crush gone bad? Whatever it was, we've all been there.
Not Your Girl, Dude
“When I first moved to the city, I would take the bus. One of these times, there was a really hot dude sitting across from me. We kept smiling at each other, looking away, making eyes. He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and started writing something on it, when his stop came, he gave me his number and told me to text him some time.
Well, we texted back and forth, but eventually lost touch.
Years later, I was going to a friend’s birthday party at this bar, and guess who was there. We were staring at each other curiously, and I straight up asked if it was him, the guy from the bus. Yes, it was! He thought it was me. I forgot how we got pulled from the conversation, but I didn’t get his new number and had to leave for some reason. I contacted my friend whose birthday it was, asked her about him, turns out he asked about me and wanted my number.
So after all these years, we set up a date.
He picked me up. He says he wanted to take me to this one shop he’s been wanting to go to, for crystals and stones since he got into making jewelry. Okay, sure, whatever. So as he was driving erratically to our destination, he was telling me about who he was when we first met. Laughing, he’s telling me he was actually in a relationship when we first met and was sleeping on his girlfriend’s couch, all the while being a coke dealer. But now he made jewelry and didn’t do stuff anymore. We got to the store, and I just spent the entire time standing there as he was thumbing through the crystals and stones, explaining each one and their healing powers.
Afterward, he said we should go to a bar and get some drinks. I needed one at this point so I suggested one where I know the bartenders so I would feel comfortable. We got there, sit at the bar, and ordered our drinks. He wanted to show me the stones he was trying to buy online, and more photos of crystals and such. So he pulled out his phone and started going through his photos showing me more stones, and photos of the jewelry he made with them. As he was flipping through the photos, there were screenshots of texts he got from other girls. They were explicit. Multiple different names. He was also getting texts popping up from other girls. The texts were saying dirty things like when they could get together again, or asking what he was doing that night. He was just acting like these texts weren’t coming up!
Eventually, the dude had to take a phone call and went outside to answer it. While this was happening, one of my good friends came in. He is a chill dude, works at a bar down the street. He’s also a regular at the bar we are at, so the bartenders know him as well. He sat down next to me, we hugged it out and he asked what was going on. I told him and he just laughed to himself because he thought it was hilarious. He ordered a quick shot, the date came back in and sat on the other side of me, so I was sandwiched. Right away he reached over me to shake this dude’s hand, causing my drink to spill ALL OVER ME.
‘Hey I’m (name), we’re on a date right now. What’s your name?’ he said.
My friend introduced himself, took his shot, paid, and left. The bartender started cleaning up my drink, didn’t really say anything but this prick started going off like, ‘You should have seen what just happened! This random guy just comes in, spills her drink and takes off without even saying sorry!’
The bartender and I just looked at each other, because we both knew that didn’t happen. At this point I told this dude I gotta go, he patted his pants and said he left his wallet at home, whatever, I’d pay. We wen t outside and I guess he was expecting me to get into the car with him, I told him, ‘No, there’s no way I’m getting in that car.’
He left, I went back inside and had another drink.
Whenever he would show up at my bar after the first time, he’d always say to his friends, ‘Yo this is my girl here, you better be treating her right!'”
“I have had a million bad dates thanks to online dating and my ‘cast a wide net’ approach I’ve had for whenever I found myself single.
The only thing still blowing me away are four dates back to back, like Ground Hogs Day for how almost identical they all were. These ladies all hit it off in some way or another with me. Through the dating app messaging or texting we had great chemistry, their photos looked great, they were witty, funny, and eccentric individuals over the phone. I felt like a super lucky guy.
Then after a place of meeting was picked we go out, I arrived on time, and they arrived 30-45 minutes late. They looked nothing like their picture, they seemed to at least be somewhat aware of this due to the lack of emotion on their face. We sat, we ate, I tried to pry conversation out of them and they gave awkward one-word responses before just absorbing themselves in the menu. I would make the last Hail Mary effort to try and pry some semblance of personality out of them, ask them something about what they were passionate about, or try and get something going on an intense subject. These people would just stare at me like a sullen potato and not say a word.
So all these dates ended very similarly, I would ask for the check to be split, and the girl would either not have brought their purse, not have any money, or would offer to Venmo me for their half.
Now the first girl this happened with I happily agreed, paid, tipped generously, and walked the lady to her car. In the following 24 hours or so we had some limited texting and I let her know how disappointed I was in the date, to which she replied, ‘Oh I know, I’m sorry I really just wanted dinner.’
I was flabbergasted. I did not realize it was a thing.
So, some time goes by and I was going on dates and I ran into a very similar issue: girl is late, doesn’t look like her photos, doesn’t know how to have a conversation, and now it seems she doesn’t have money for the date. I ask her where her money is, she says she is just broke this week and can pay me back later. I tell her that’s fine, it’s on me just shoot me some when you can. Not five minutes after I’m home and I realize she’s blocked me from tinder and my phone number.
So, by the third time I ran into a suspiciously different-looking lady, who doesn’t seem to want to talk, be on time or pay for her part of the meal, I relaxed. I ordered the check, I excused myself to the restroom, and I got the heck out of there.
I didn’t block her initially just to see the hate text messages pile in.
The fourth gal, same exact story except she made eye contact with me as I walked past the restaurant front window to hop in my car.
Two free meals were given, two free meals were received.”
“He Was Scary”
“I met this guy ‘Ron’ online. He seemed nice enough, even though he was older. (He also lied about his age) We chatted over the phone a few times for hours at a time and he came across okay enough to meet. So we did. I went to his house for the first meeting because I was honest in telling him what wouldn’t be happening.
We chatted for a while on his back porch, watched a movie in his living room. Then he started to grope me and I reminded him it wasn’t happening and to please stop. ‘You’re just so beautiful, I can’t help myself,’ he said,
He could help himself. I was suddenly ‘very tired’ and wanted to head home.
He started texting me saying I was nothing like his ex, pedestals me, just complimenting me and it’s smothering. I talked about boundaries and slowing down. He then offered a key to his house for me to pop over anytime because he ‘trusted me.’ He wanted to get a dog so I could come over and walk the dog while he was at work. He mentioned a work trip to Hawaii several months in advance and wanted to take me.
I started to pull away a little and explained, he’s too much too fast, I was not ready to commit, I just barely knew him. He agreed to back off a little. We met again because I was stupid sometimes, admittedly. He started groping me again, smothering me. I reminded him to stop because I was not comfortable enough.
‘Well SORRY, didn’t mean to OFFEND you,’ he mocked.
I went home IMMEDIATELY. I was now ignoring his incessant text messages were smothering me with compliments again.
I barely even responded at this point, he was scary. He wanted to take me out to this big fancy steak dinner or something. I told him a movie was fine. It’s public, I intended to break it off in person, to just break free and thought if I tell him in person, he’d understand it better.
He was not leaving his hands to himself so I leaned forward on my knees so he couldn’t touch me. The movie ended, he walked me back to my truck because it was late and dark. He hugged me and wouldn’t let go. I was pulling back and telling him to let go, panicking, and he wouldn’t.
I started to nervous laugh because I was in full panic mode.
‘I DIDN’T MEAN TO OFFEND YOU, SORRY!’ He mocked again, louder this time.
I told him I had repeatedly told him to stop touching me without consent. I opened my door and he stood between me and the door, not letting me close it. I couldn’t go forward because I was in a parking garage and there was a car in front of me. If I went back, my door would probably get torn off.
I told him to move, I wanted to go home. He stared at me, just stared at me. I was alone in the parking garage, it was super late, I didn’t know what to do. I got really firm in telling him to MOVE. He backed up, made a snarky remark and I went home.
He started texting me again. Long, long paragraphs about how when I ‘hugged him’ he felt sparks he’s never felt, I mean so much to him, he’s never felt this connected, he could tell he meant something to me. I was almost in tears and I’m in my mid 30’s mind you. I ignored him. I stopped responding. I was all done.
He started texting me more, I didn’t answer. Then he got mean, I didn’t answer. I headed to work the next Monday and showed the text messages and his face to security and told them to not let him on campus or tell him I am there if he showed up. Security couldn’t believe the text messages. I learned my lesson BIG TIME with him.
I try and give people the benefit of the doubt because sometimes what we perceive as something isn’t always the case. Mind you, this was barely a month-long time period.
He was wanting to commit before even meeting me. He disregarded everything I said about not being ready, needing to trust, etc. I even told him I have herpes at one point hoping it would drive him away and he told me he cared enough about me he could deal with it.
All the negative things he said about his ex make me wonder if he was the issue. Or if whatever she did cause him to be so deeply insecure. Either way, he was scary.”
Well, That Escalated Quickly
“So I was 22 at the time and had recently been cheated on by my ex-boyfriend of two years. Heartbroken of course, I broke it off with him and I waited a couple of months and then put myself back out into the dating scene. I met this lovely guy, we’ll call him ‘Ali.’ Not only did he sweep me off my feet but he was British, rich, and he claimed to be of noble descent. I honestly don’t care about nobility but it was kind of cool.
Anyways we started dating, I’m a nurse so I was working a lot of night shifts at the time. He would let me come over to his house after my night shift and fall asleep in his bed so we could spend the whole day together after I woke up. He was super thoughtful, once bringing me bubble tea and a doughnut at work. And I thought everything was going great. THOUGHT being the keyword here.
He started taking more heavy anti-anxiety meds, and he started-in my mind- to abuse them. Things started getting weird between us he was like dopey and drowsy all the time and when he used to have no issue taking me out to dinner suddenly I had to pay or he had to call his mom and beg for an e-transfer. I started getting suspicious of him and the things he told me about himself. Eventually, he came out and told me he was actually five years older than he had originally told me.
I know, pretty intense red flag but I was still in the rebound phase and was trying to make this work. Plus it gets worse.
One day I went over to his house after a particularly long few day shifts. I was working at a very heavy internal medicine unit at my local hospital. So I spent the night and then we had planned to spend the next two days together. I remember waking up at around 2:00 in the morning and noticing he wasn’t in bed and hearing him in the kitchen. I wasn’t too concerned because nothing sounded off so I rolled over and went to sleep, as I was exhausted from trying to chase down my eloping dementia patients all day.
The next morning we went for coffee and breakfast at a local cafe I’d wanted to try out for a bit. This Dingus starts showing me photos on his phone for some reason and as he’s scrolling through his camera roll I noticed there was a picture of what seems to be a driver’s license. I freeze and ask him who it was. He responds with something along the lines of, ‘Oh that’s Kelsey my ex.’
I immediately called his bluff because it was a recent picture and I ask him to show it to me.
Lo and behold it was my license! He also had a picture of my debit card. I obviously deleted the pictures when he handed me his phone. And I quickly logged into my bank account app and I saw a $300 purchase had been made on Amazon at 2:00 in the morning when he had been up (I don’t use my cards online ever). The guy also used my credit card for a gaming subscription. So I asked him if he went through my purse while I was sleeping. He admitted to doing so. And then tried to tell me that his family was associated with the mob so he needed to run a background check, etc. on me.
Anyways long story short, he said he didn’t steal my money after first admitting he took pictures of my cards. Even though I got confirmation from the gaming site. I got the cops involved, and nothing happened. So now every once in a while (as I’ve blocked him on everything else) he sends me emails.
They are long fluttery, love-filled emails, and most recently he wrote me one where he pretended to be getting engaged and admitted to stealing my money (which he flip-flopped on). Previously he had also told me he had cancer and was going to die, and he told me I knew what I was getting into when we dated. I’m definitely considering a restraining order. So now I just don’t ever leave my wallet alone when I’m at someone else’s place.
Honestly, I used to lose sleep over it. But I managed to switch a lot of my cards and I got the credit protection report about if someone’s inquiring about me. Luckily I was recently able to move and then it helps a little bit too.”
Wait For It
“I was crushed by the girl of my dreams. I just stood on the tracks while all my friends were screaming at the warning signs but nope; blind me got train wrecked. At any rate, another girl (who was part of our social group) was always fun and sweet to me started checking up on me, we will call her Rebound. Turns out she knew the deviant things my ex was doing and was trying like heck to get my friends to open my eyes. I wasn’t ready to date anyone but one-night Rebound and I decided to head out together grab dinner and hit downtown to blow off steam. She was living with her parents (early 20’s, finishing school, not a big deal) and there were no weird vibes, I only knew her a little bit so it was casual getting to know each other.
We unexpectedly met up with another group who were partying hard. I was driving so I was just socializing, Rebound got pressured into a round of shots. I didn’t realize she was a lightweight. She got wasted, too fast. I got her out of there and she started panicking she couldn’t walk into her house hammered. I said, ‘No big deal, the night is pretty early. We’ll chill at my place, sober you up, and get you home,’ (no – I wasn’t trying to be that guy). We pulled in to park the car, she suddenly said, ‘I don’t feel good,’ and whipped open the door and started puking. We’ve all been there so I unbuckled and leaned over to rub her back and she ripped the most unholy of rancid heatwave farts directly into my face. I mean singed my eyebrows and burned the roof of my mouth as if I had just eaten something right out of the oven.
She was mortified and tried to crawl out of my car, presumably to die in shame. I sighed, blinked the tears out of my eyes and helped her up. She had crawled through her own puke. While walking her to the door, she was continuing to puke and fart and cry and apologize and at this point, I actually found it hilarious. She was a stinky, pukey, farty mess and was in no way happy with herself.
I got her inside, she went to the bathroom, emptied her bowels some more into my toilet while puking into a garbage can, door wide open. I got her a change of clothes and suggested she shower. She couldn’t stop apologizing and crying. I took her dirty clothes and threw them in the sink and did my gagging best to clean the puke out. She came out of the shower looking like the saddest most embarrassed hot mess I’ve ever seen, wearing a sweatshirt and gym shorts of mine. She laid down on the couch and fell asleep. I cleaned her clothes. The next morning I did the drive of shame to bring her home while she just stared at her feet and apologized.
At any rate, we’ve been married 21 years.”
The Truth Comes Out
“My best friend set me up on a blind date straight after my divorce. I was 22, (yes, 22 and divorced), and she told me I ‘needed a good man.’ She told me all about how this guy had a good job and he was so nice, blah, blah, blah. She would NOT tell me how old he was, and would only send me blurry pictures. I felt pressured so I went.
He was nowhere near as attractive as she had made him out to be, and much, much older than I expected. He looked at me and said, ‘She didn’t tell you how old I was, did she?’
Anyway, this guy proceeded to drive me around his property, which was huge and beautiful out in the country in Tennesee. He took me up on a mountain on a four-wheeler and proceeded to try to kiss me. I, being terrified I might be murdered out here in the middle of nowhere(he had brought a weapon along), let him and it was one of the worst kisses I have ever had. He then took me down off of the mountain to shoot and critiqued my form the entire time. Then he proceeded to absolutely trash his ex-wife because she turned out to like women while walking me around the house they lived in and showing me all of her favorite places and telling me all the things she would do there.
He then showed me the house he was living in with his brother which was basically just a shack.
It was awful. I now tell everyone she tries to set up about this experience and let them know not to trust her.
She has tried to set me up with her boyfriend’s unattractive friends on many occasions. I feel like that says a lot about what she thinks of me.”
She Needed A Disclaimer
“I went on a date after talking with someone online for a couple of weeks. The conversation online was pleasant and the usual small talk about hobbies or interests etc. There were no red flags.
We arranged to meet in the city for a coffee. I arrived and she was already there. She looked nothing like her pictures (catfished). I think to myself, oh well most people tend to embellish their photos let’s see what she’s like in person. This is where I messed up.
We got talking and she asked what I was doing next weekend. I love camping and exploring and I told her, ‘I’m camping with some mates.’
She asked if she could come along.
‘Um, nah, it’s okay, we only have just met,’I said.
She lost her mind and acted like we had been dating for years saying, ‘How dare you not take me along,’ blah blah blah.
I messed up again and decided to stay talking. She asked where I was going to camp after calming down a bit and I gave a rough estimate ‘X forest.’
And she replied, ‘Oh that’s nice. I’ll see you there.’
I thought that’s weird and reiterated I was not comfortable with that.
She replied, ‘No I’m going there and I’m going to kill you. You won’t see me coming,’ as she proceeded to laugh a maniacal laugh.
That was the last straw for me, I stood up, placed money to pay for my coffee, and walked off telling her not to follow me or I’d call the police. I blocked her and moved on. Luckily nothing came to fruition.
I was a lot more careful with who I met up with from then on.”
Happy Ever After With A Twist
“I don’t remember how I met this girl. She said she was recently broken up with, but still lived with the guy. However, he was out of town for the next six weeks. We talked for a while, and she wanted to meet up. So I went to her house. She and a female friend were there. We watched a movie. I couldn’t get a word out of either of them. They were intent on the movie. I stayed the 90 or so minutes until it ended. Then I looked at my imaginary watch and said, ‘I have to go now.’
On my way out the door, a guy walked up. He wasn’t the ex. So I asked, ‘Curious. Did they call you here to watch a movie?’
He said, ‘Yes.’
I was like, ‘It’ll be the most boring time you’ll ever have. Good luck.’
He was like, ‘No action?’
‘Nope,’ I sighed.
He then asked, ‘Want to hang out at my place instead?’
So I followed him back and we played video games for a few hours. We’ve been friends ever since. He still thanks me every few years for saving him from that night.”
“I dated a gal who kept mentioning judo lessons, like it was relevant, multiple times per date. She threw a lot of strange facts out there during dates, like, ‘My first experience was in Japan as an exchange student in my teens. I was fortunate that my partner was very strong and forceful, I was lucky I had the blessing of his experience.’
That really had me in what-the-heck mode, but she was a beautiful smart girl. The dates were strange, yet also super boring and routine, no romance, just dinners/movies/etc.
So it wasn’t a surprise when she said we should stop trying, other than the fact we were way out of town and she suddenly said I could just go home.
I agreed, it seemed hopeless to keep trying and said something to the effect of, ‘I was starting to think of suggesting we try something drastic to break the ice physically,’ in defense of seeing the problem yet doing nothing about it.
I can only assume she took this as me disagreeing with her? Likely she just assumed I would and was looking for any hint I didn’t want to end things?
She started to get a little upset so I cut her off to explain I was not arguing with her decision, and just wanted to make sure she was fine getting home on her own.
Well, she got even angrier and started to tense up like she was going to strike me! Sensing where this was all going I just said something like, ‘Okay well good luck and you’ve got a phone, if you need help getting home, call.”
That was pretty clearly indicating she can just go, but she sat there for a second like she was still trying to find a way to fight, and then she got out without further discussion.
She pokes me online every now and then. Looks like she’s still single years later. What a crazy cutie.
She went on to wrap up her law degree and become a public defender, so I don’t think we made a mistake breaking off the courtship.”