Saboteur-In-Law
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“My mother-in-law and father-in-law dislike me because I don’t agree with their Multi-Level Marketing business (they both sell Young Living) and I vaccinated my son. I have high-functioning autism and they openly complain to my husband that I’m going to give our children autism and they want ‘normal’ grandchildren.
Two months before our wedding we received a call from the botanical garden our wedding is supposed to take place at confirming our cancellation. After some panicking on the phone, the worker there assured us it must have just been a mistake on their end and it wouldn’t happen again. I assumed the worker was right and didn’t think too hard into it.
Then the day of our wedding the caterers never showed up. My maid of honor had to call the caterers because I was crying too much to do it. We found out from the head chef someone had called the company claiming to be me to cancel their services. I was completely mortified. We had to order Dominos for our wedding reception instead.
When we returned from our honeymoon we were talking to my sister-in-law about our wedding. She came clean that my mother-in-law tried sabotaging it because they didn’t want me to marry their son.”
Over-Obsessive Mother
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“It was well known that the mother-in-law wasn’t a fan of the bride. On the wedding day, she turned up late in a pale peach gown that may as well have been white and looked exactly like a wedding gown. She was up and about at the church until the wedding march started to play at which time she hopped up out of the back and walked quickly up the aisle basically in front of the bride to take her seat at the front. She started making this horrendous crying sound as soon as the wedding vows started and didn’t stop until the pastor presented the couple as husband and wife.
She promptly ran to the front and used her elbow to move the bride before throwing herself into the arms of the groom. At the photo shoot afterwards, she kept trying to exclude the bride from the photos and posed with no less than 10 photos of just her and her son. So every pose he did with his bride, his mom tried to recreate.
I wasn’t invited to the reception but heard she gave a doozy of wedding speech about how she couldn’t believe the bride was stealing her only baby and implied quite strongly that the son only married her because she was pregnant. Bear in mind they were together for 5 years.”
Human Dumpster Fire
“My mother-in-law is a nightmare in general but everything dealing with our wedding was especially bad.
She flew to our state to ‘help out with the wedding,’ insisting on wedding cake tasting because she’s an amateur baker. I made appointments at 5 different bakeries. When she found out my husband would not be joining us she sat in our guest room in the dark and knitted for 6 hours straight while ignoring me completely.
She insisted that we celebrate Shabbat before our rehearsal dinner (my husband and I and both of our families including her are non-practicing Jews) and when we finally gave in and said we would do the blessings she tried to use it as an excuse to invite an extra 80 people to the wedding, none of which we’d met before, because we owed her for suggesting and planning such an important part of the wedding.
We ended up having to get store bought Challah for the Shabbat thing – she waved a carving knife in my face and said I ruined her moment by not having Challah from a Jewish bakery.
My husband (for some ungodly reason) insisted she makes a toast at the rehearsal dinner. She started out talking about how she never liked me or thought I was good enough for her son and went on to tell an embarrassing story about my husband and I that was entirely inappropriate.
My sister-in-law had gone with her to pick out a dress for the wedding but she decided last minute that she didn’t feel like wearing it so she showed up to our wedding in corduroy pants, a tank top, and a jacket patterned with cats.
She got wasted at the reception and got in my face saying that she’s been testing me since she met me and that she hoped I would fail and my husband would have dumped me.
She’s basically a human dumpster fire.”
Karma Is The Sweetest Revenge
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“Okay, so this is my mom, not my mother-in-law.
My wedding was her do-over wedding since she didn’t get to have one because I had been born and it was shameful.
She guilted me out of the wedding I wanted (a small courthouse wedding with a restaurant party afterward) into a traditional thing that was very lush and beautiful but not my style.
I had a plan to just get bouquets from Trader Joe’s and put fancy ribbons on them but no, had to have a florist. Had to have centerpieces. Had to have a gorgeous dress. Had to have a limo. She paid for it all but I was so not on board with any of this.
She demanded I invite her entire extended family and disinvite the friends I wanted there (I stood up to her and said absolutely not.) She let it go for the invites and stuff, but I get a reminder every so often that her family doesn’t talk to her as much anymore after the wedding.
But here’s the best part. After all of her demands, she forgot to drink enough coffee (she drinks like 5-7 cups a day) got a giant migraine, her dress kept cutting into her and she ended up upstairs away from the party puking in the toilet.
So like…alllll this time screaming over things that had to be done her way and she spent most of the reception on the toilet. Suuuuuuuch greeeaaat karma!”
“All Of Our Plans Capsized”
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My fiancée and I (also female) have been engaged for three years. We’re getting married next Saturday.
Mother-in-law (MIL) said she wanted to plan the wedding (apparently this is some sort of Southern tradition). She didn’t even start thinking about logistics until less than a year out.
MIL and my fiancée have knock-down drag-outs over every detail. MIL would stonewall until my fiancée would cave or dig in her heels, and something would get picked out of desperation. A microcosm of this is the save-the-dates. MIL insisted on having her name on them (so that ‘people would know that [MIL] was paying for it’), and that they be a particular color and style (which clashed with our color scheme). My fiancée was not happy, but after a full month of arguing, she conceded and MIL ordered the ones MIL wanted. By the time they were at MIL’s house, the wedding was less than four months away, and it was too late to send them.
MIL showed up to my fiancée’s bridal appointment completely wasted and a half an hour late. MIL then made the comment ‘it doesn’t matter what dress you pick, you’re going to look fat in it anyway’ (I was not there, fiancée and her best man were, and if I was, I would be in prison).
MIL and I picked a style of dress for me, and she didn’t tell me that she bought them in two different sizes of each style because ‘these are the biggest dresses they have, and you’ll probably need the other one for fabric to make a dress that fits.’ I fit into the smaller of the two dresses with room to spare, in the style that I picked. (MIL is convinced that I’m as morbidly obese as the people on My 600 LBS Life. I am not. This has been a point of contention since my first Christmas with them, Christmas 2015, where she got me what appeared to be a cookbook for dieters. Two years later, she got me leggings that were 5 sizes too big.)
My fiancée wanted to get married in a church, and our diocese is lukewarm on such things since we’re lesbians. We were going to have it at the camp where my fiancée grew up, but MIL ruined that and canceled the booking after she had been drinking. MIL then had to pick the most expensive country club type place to hold it (because she is a big to-do, thank you very much).
MIL demands that my fiancée and I take off time from work and school with less than a week’s notice. We tell her that it’s not possible. She decided to escalate. It is the Ides of March, and we get an email from MIL about how she ‘cannot possibly believe we are so disinterested in our own wedding’ and that she should get the following: complete control of the decorations and table settings and placements; change the bridesmaids dresses to the ones that my sister-in-law picked, even though my bridesmaids had already bought the dress fiancée and I picked.
Just to re-emphasize: MIL completely capsized all wedding plans with less than three months notice. We told MIL to shove it and that we would do it ourselves, calling her bluff. We also disinvited her from the wedding, and all of my fiancée’s family because they act like flying monkeys for MIL, especially my sister-in-law. (Mine weren’t coming because they disowned me three years ago, so that stayed the same.)
MIL complains and moans about this to family, who tell her that she messed up and that she ought to cut us a check and be done with it, if for nothing else than to apologize for being such a witch. MIL agrees to cut a check for $10,000 and an additional $5,000 ‘if we need it.’ She gave us the first one. We’re still waiting on the second one. It is 9 days before the wedding. (This is a lot of money, I know. MIL was a debutante and her family is loaded.)
Thankfully, I am a penny-pinching shrew, so we really aren’t in bad shape if she reneges on it, but it would be really nice to get a good honeymoon out of MIL being a nightmare. My fiancée still isn’t speaking to MIL because of this, and I have been handling the negotiations with her about the money.
MIL recently has fractured her pelvis (she tripped over a dog while sloshed in her kitchen), and she would have been a lot better off if she had taken her osteoporosis meds, but of course, she didn’t because you can’t drink with them. Priorities.
MIL is now incapacitated in a rehabilitation center. I should be getting the remainder of the money promised today or later this week.”
“She Threatened Me, But I Didn’t Care”
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“This story is about my friend’s mother-in-law (MIL), and her wedding. Strap in guys, this is a wild ride in which I did THE THING that got me banned from any of her family functions (plus a few threats of dismemberment and bodily harm).
A good friend of mine from university was getting married! They had been a couple since junior year of college, through her 2 years in the peace corps and currently her return to this continent. 6 years in total. She had been to many family functions and always came back with a strange story about how she thinks her MIL secretly hates her. But she being a very quiet and sweet person pushed those thoughts aside.
A few friends and I were asked to be in the wedding. Friend has a HUGE family and so this was not going to be a small affair. Neither of them are particularly religious, but friend said it was would be nice to be married under a chuppah (think an arbor but 4 poles and covered with a white cloth and lots of flowers). Husband said he could care less, and told her to go and rent one for the wedding.
I was at the bridal shower when MIL found out the ‘pretty canopy’ was actually a chuppah. She almost lost her marbles in front of a bunch of people, but managed to compose herself and laugh angrily that ‘if the Jews were being represented so would the Catholics.’ In my head I heard a record screech, guys… they aren’t Catholic.
So after much fighting, a lot of screaming, crying, threatening to pull money (which is funny because she contributed nothing), MIL lost. The boot was firmly placed, and nothing was moving it. Chuppah yes, Catholic priest no.
Things got stupid quiet, my friend texts me the night before the wedding that she has a bad feeling. I tell her it’s probably just nerves, she is getting married and this is a big deal! Oh, how wrong I was.
We all show up, get our hair and makeup done. Slip into our bridesmaid dresses and hang out waiting for the bride to be finished with her hair. She makes a comment saying she hadn’t seen MIL all day and that she skipped her hair and makeup appointment. We all side-eyed each other, took a few sips of vino and hoped the eerie feeling would go away.
30 minutes later as we are helping the bride into her dress; guess who shows up. If you guessed MIL, you win a cookie! Flushed from coming up the stairs (she is not a light woman), in full hair and makeup…and a white dress. Not ivory, not cream, full snow-freaking-white. The dress was clearly a wedding dress; it was even from David’s Bridal (which she would later shout at me). Floor length satin with a sweetheart beaded top, a bit of a train and off-white lace on the bottom. The dress was even tailored to her, this was a long con she had orchestrated.
The bride burst into tears and aunts and friends ushered MIL out. We did our best to console the bride, touched up her makeup, and I made her a promise that the dress would never be seen in a photo. She looked me dead in the eye and nodded. The game was on.
The venue only supplied white vino and bubbly for the wedding party. But I grabbed my purse and ran down into the reception area and managed to flag an attendant by the bar and bribe him with a cool $20 to give me a bottle of red early. I cracked the baby open, filled a solo cup to the brim with it and stalked outside. After a few swigs from the bottle for courage, I went over to where everyone was getting ready to take photos.
With one last hard stare at my friend, I got her nod of approval. I pulled out my phone, held it in front of my face like I was reading a text and walked straight into MIL. I poured the entire cup of vino down the front of her dress, jumped back and gasped.
The look on her face was murderous. She screamed, yelled, threatened, and promised she would sue me. People had to hold her back because she wanted to fight me. Eventually, she switched from screaming to sobbing and sank to the ground and threw a tantrum on the floor. Everyone moved back and just let her go at it and walked away to go take photos. It was surreal, as if everyone just hit their limit and noped out from around her. The 12-year-old flower girl whipped out her phone and snapped a few photos much to our amusement.
This is already super long, but I will say that MIL went home and changed (only 20 min from venue) into a nice dark green too small and low cut dress. Because of this, she missed all of the photos. Wedding was beautiful; I got death glares from everyone she told that I attacked her. I didn’t care as I drank and danced with friends. Bride thanked me in secret and 3 months later took me to the spa for a day of pampering. But I am official ‘that ISIS witch’ to MIL. I’ll take it with pride.”
“My Mother-In-Law, The Steak Thief”
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“Our wedding was in the springtime, so we asked the groomsmen to wear seersucker suits. I bought ties from Tiebar for the whole wedding party. The ties were navy blue with a thin pink pinstripe. My husband made the mistake of telling Deb, my mother-in-law, that the ties I picked out were pink and blue so I started getting text messages from Deb about how ‘pink is for queers’ and that I had to pick out a different tie. Deb got blocked that day.
I didn’t introduce Deb and my parents until our rehearsal. While my husband and I were dating, Deb found a family photo from my brother’s wedding–mom, dad, aunts, uncles, cousins. She asked me about everyone, then left the house. A few minutes later, she called my husband and asked to speak to me. Deb told me that she was surprised that my family was so fat because I’m so fit, and that I would have to explain to my mom that Deb needed to say something to her about her weight because she’s afraid of fat people. Now, I come from a family of big-boned women, and it’s true that I work very hard to stay slim, but no one in my family is circus fat, and I’m sure as heck NOT telling my very sensitive mother that she’s too large for Deb’s preference. Leading up to the wedding, I mentioned to my mom that Deb is unkind to everyone and often comments on people’s appearance, including mine, just to prepare her for what Deb might say. As far as I know, Deb didn’t say anything to my family.
At the wedding rehearsal, we had to seat Deb at our table along with her mother, her date, my grandmother, and my parents. Deb had just met my parents an hour before and announced to the table that her mother was always trying to sleep with her dates.
Our dinner was a wonderful 5-course meal at a famous restaurant. Deb ate the salad course and the fish course. When the steak course came, Deb pulled a plastic bag from her purse, put the steak in the bag, and handed it to my husband (Deb was trying to get a job as the debutante trainer at the time).
At the wedding, Deb wore a black miniskirt, a black motorcycle jacket, fishnet stockings, and put her hair up in a plastic clip. She also refused to be in photos with her sister, even in a big group photo of the whole family.”
Not-So-Open Bar
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“My mother-in-law (MIL) invited us to a dinner at our rehearsal venue one week before the wedding. Turns out she hadn’t booked anything and was shocked that they charged a fee to book their venue and were already booked.
She then helpfully suggested we just sit behind a BBQ place and bring picnic chairs. I took over and booked our favorite casual burger spot (last minute, no money left of our budget because she would ‘of course take care of it’). She showed up 20 minutes late to the dinner, even when we had all left the same time from the wedding venue. She then proceeded to do ‘math’ and determined that 20 people would only need 36 brews and 5 margaritas from the bar – so she prepaid then told everyone it was an ‘open bar.’ MIL spent the evening cornering my mother and godmother to talk about her multiple miscarriages and how she thinks we should have just ‘gone down to city hall’ like she did.
My folks spent a substantial sum on our wedding and reception. All of my people had to fly in to attend our wedding. I was so embarrassed when I had to apologize to everyone when their tabs came at the end of the night after MIL announced it was all taken care of. I still have no idea how to apologize for my MIL to my mother.”
“She Celebrated My Engagement…Without Me”
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“We had a private engagement on the beach, just as we had always talked about. My husband and I are private people and he is a photographer himself so he planned this beautiful hike on the beach and took photos himself. It was the best moment ever.
After we are walking back and calling to tell everyone and they are all so excited I said yes, even though they already knew as my husband asked the family and told them in advance.
My mother-in-law answers and goes, ‘Awww so cute! My baby is sooooo handsome in the photos you sent. He’s soooo perfect and soooo thoughtful and sooo romantic. When do I get to celebrate? He’s sooo amazing, etc.’
She didn’t even ask about me or acknowledge we were BOTH in the photos or that WE got engaged.
Then, she planned a surprise party for my husband on a day she knew I worked. She invited both of us and I obviously said no, and she was just like ‘oh okay bummer no big deal just wanted to have you guys over for a quiet dinner alone to say hi.’
Little did my husband know he would walk in and find his ENTIRE family from MULTIPLE STATES had traveled down to congratulate him on his engagement. He then had to proceed to apologize for not having me with him as he had no idea, while the mother-in-law claimed I totally knew and ‘choose work over the family.’
That’s right ladies and gentleman. My mother-in-law celebrated my husband and I’s engagement…WITHOUT ME.”
They Didn’t Approve
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“My grandmother-in-law is the real pain in my life, but my mother-in-law is also bad and even worse when she’s around her mother. They didn’t approve of our union because I’m not the right type of Christian and our wedding was to be in my hometown, a 5-hour flight away. I gave them a rough date a year in advance but I had a feeling right away that they wouldn’t come. Grandmother-in-law kept complaining about grandfather-in-law’s health and my mother-in-law complained that getting the time off would be difficult.
I think a part of them didn’t believe we would go through with it. Right before the wedding, we were getting bombarded with messages from my mother-in-law wailing about her not being there with additional self-depreciation trying to get us to make her feel better. We were of course too busy with actually putting our wedding together to deal with her guilt and mostly ignored her. She then bombarded my mother with messages instead who had more sympathy for her than I did.
Mother-in-law tried to send us flowers on the wedding day, but instead of taking my mother’s suggestions for how to go about it, she hired a service to do it for her and we never received them. After the wedding, all she said was how angry she was that her flowers never arrived.
Sorry, mother-in-law, I know you’re angry about a bouquet, but I’m angry that your son had to feel like his family didn’t love him enough to celebrate one of the best days of his life with him. He’s part of my family now, and we sure are not perfect, but at least we’re there for each other.
Also, a few months later some family friend’s daughter on my husband’s side got married in her husband’s hometown a 7-hour flight away. With only 3 months notice, all my in-laws went. So much for health and not being able to get time off.”
Getting Married Was A Nightmare
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“My mother-in-law tried to change EVERYTHING. Nothing was to her standards. Then she threw a fit because I wasn’t letting her so I invited her over to help us plan the wedding and she sat there silent the WHOLE time.
Their wedding present was paying for a photographer for wedding pictures but she booked it 3 weeks before our wedding date. So I went with someone else for engagement pictures and wedding invitation and she made us have a family meeting while crying because we didn’t use her guy and we weren’t ‘including’ them enough or being understanding enough.
They then offered to pay for our honeymoon, how nice right? They asked what we wanted, we said Disneyland. A month before we asked if they were still planning on paying and they said yes but they couldn’t afford it, we told them that’s fine! Don’t pay for it we can, which just made them mad. They then got mad that we actually wanted to go out and do stuff instead of just staying in a hotel the whole time. I offered for them to pay for the hotel and we would buy the tickets, angered them even more, they started yelling about how they were about to lose the house! WHY OFFER TO PAY THEN! They didn’t want us to do anything because it was too expensive, I went home and paid for the whole thing and told my fiancé he could tell his parents if he wants but this is what we were doing. He offered to help pay but couldn’t because his parents borrowed $1000 from his savings. Yay.
We then got married in San Diego (remember they might lose the house and can’t afford to pay for our honeymoon) and we stayed in a cheaper hotel so we could afford it and our honeymoon. Turns out his parents booked a 5-star hotel. 5 STARS. They then gave us a check to cover the honeymoon for $1000, which, coincidentally is the same amount they borrowed from their son, before going back to the hotel and completely missing our family luncheon because they didn’t like the restaurant we picked. Which was a whole other can of worms. I did luck out though! They continued to do stuff like that and my husband wouldn’t let them, they figured out real fast if they wanted to see their grandkids they had to let go of all control. She’s really supportive now, but getting married was a nightmare.”