We've all dealt with that creepy guy at the club or the "macho" man who thinks the best way to get your attention is to cat call you from his obscenely big truck. These ladies reveal their cringeworthy stories dealing with some guys.
“A little showing off is okay, everyone does it, but…”
“Trying to show off. A little showing off is okay, everyone does it, but like when you can tell that’s their main focus. They’re always the ones you can hear from across the bar talking about how many girls they hooked up with last weekend or how big their truck is. Maybe try talking about things that really matter next time you’re trying to impress a girl.”
“If I am kissing you for the first time, please don’t…”
“If I am kissing you for the first time, or we are not in the stage of a relationship to be having sex just yet, please don’t guide my hand to your junk. It’s super awkward. That’s like something a 15 year old would do. I have had someone in their 30s do that the very first time I kissed them. Dude, I know how to touch a willy and I will touch yours when I feel like it!!!”
“I almost threw my phone across the room out of cringe.”
“The day after a second date I got a MASSIVE text which was a very very poorly disguised ‘oops wrong number’ fake text. It started out “Oh hey Matt I missed your call, blah blah blah something something something, then went: ‘by the way, I met this amazing girl…’ and went into extreme detail about how wonderful I was (I’d spent about 5 hours total in his company in my life) and how he couldn’t tell me because he ‘didn’t speak girl’ and maybe next time he should hold my hand because I might like that? He was 25. I almost threw my phone across the room out of cringe. To this day I haven’t read the whole text, it was too painful.”
“But then again, what kind of car DON’T I have?”
“I was on my Xbox the other night and this random guy joined my party. He immediately started talking about how well off he is. Here are some quotes: “I have a house in America. Well, I say a house, it’s actually a villa in Miami. I have my own business and I make a lot of money, even though I’m only 22.” “I get a lot of looks driving through Nottingham in a 1.2milllion pound car.” Me: “What kind of car do you have?” “A McLaren. But then again, what kind of car DON’T I have? That’s the better question. I have 27…” I ended up finding him on Facebook, he’s some hygienically challenged 22 year old Anonymous fanatic with a receding hairline.”
“The bigger your truck is, the smaller your…”
“Revving their truck to impress you when you’re on a walk, your lifted truck is not that impressive and you don’t look like a manly man when you do this. In my mind, the bigger your truck is, the smaller your package is, especially if you feel the need to rev the engine every five seconds. Have fun wasting gas asshole.”
“One night we were texting, then he said…”
“I met this guy through mutual friends and immediately fell in love with him. He was super cute, nice and was always down to have a good time. One night we were texting, and while I love some good old fashioned sexting, the moment he said ‘I can make your toes curl,’ I stopped replying and never talked to him again. Talk about gross!”
“If you bring him around your other male friends and he has to…”
“Cringiest in general for me is when they try to show others up. Especially if you bring him around your other male friends or family members and he has to one-up everything and or be the hero of every story. Never got any dick pics but one time I went to a local club with a guy friend and we were out on the dance floor for a long time. This club didn’t have any sort of air movement so I has sweating like crazy. So…. he took his hand, wiped the back of my neck, and then licked his hand. I don’t really know what was going through his mind when he did that because it was most certainly not sexy. He was a good guy but ehhh…”
“It is like they think they are going to convince me to leave him and…”
“When a guy is talking to me and he finds out I have a husband, then proceeds to put him down. It is like they think they are going to convince me to leave him and be with them. I didn’t ask your opinion and I don’t really care what you think. It actually makes me never want to talk to them again.”
“A guy tried to physically pick me up.”
“Today actually, a guy tried to physically pick me up. I am a very short person, so in order to get leverage, he pretty much thrust his crotch into my stomach and tried to heave me up. We went from talking about superheroes to pretty much the most awkward and unexpected moment ever. I pretty much just squirmed away and went ‘No, no. Lets not do that.'”
“I can not stand when people come up to me and…”
“I’m 16, so maybe it’s just a teenage thing or maybe not, but I can not stand when people come up to me and ask, “Where’s my hug?” It never fails to make me cringe on the inside. It’s like being obligated to hug someone you obviously didn’t want to in the first place.”
“So are you happily married? We could fix that.”
“Whenever a guy hits on me and then finds out I’m married, I usually just say thank you and move on. But sometimes the guy doubles down. One time someone said “So, are you happily married? We could fix that.” Ultra cringe. I also had someone be super persistent while clubbing with a friend who had just broken up with a cheating boyfriend (I went out with her to cheer her up and get her out of the house). He literally would not take no for an answer and kept trying to get me to go back to his place to smoke weed and ‘see what happens’. Uhhhh, no thanks.”
“Bam some creepy dude sneaks up and starts…”
“I hate when you’re out dancing with you girlfriends, minding your own business and bam some creepy dude sneaks up and starts grinding on you. Does this seriously go through your mind? “The back of that chick’s head looks hot. Surely she’ll appreciate my crotch on her butt.” No, no that shouldn’t go through your mind, unless you have some weird fetish and I don’t want any of that either.”
“Yes, I only have these interests in my free time so that I can go out and…”
“Assume my interests/hobbies are geared towards attracting them. I could not tell you the number of times I’ve been out at a bar/club/wherever and a guy will proactively ask me about my interests and I’ll vaguely answer and he’ll keep prying so I tell them…I love LOTR, wrestling, and I’m just getting into gaming, etc. and immediately the interrogation begins. One guy in particular was grilling me on LOTR…favorite scene, favorite book, do I know who this character is, blah blah blah and I ended up talking about The Silmarillion and he had NO CLUE what it was and it turns out he had never even finished reading the trilogy but he told me he was asking me these questions because he didn’t think I was actually into it??? Yes, I only have these interests/do these hobbies in my free time so that I can go out and lure in asshole guys like you. The perfect plan!”
“Whenever a guy tells me I’d look prettier with a…”
“Whenever a guy tells me I’d look prettier with a smile I want to scream. Look, I’m a person too, which means sometimes I have bad days. Also, thanks for implying that on top of having a terrible day I also look unattractive. If you are truly concerned, then ask me if there’s anything you can do, but don’t pressure me to force a smile when that’s just not how I’m feeling.”
“I hate when guys treat me like I’m nothing but a…”
“I hate when guys treat me like I’m nothing but an entertainment object, existing merely for their amusement, simply because I love things that are stereotypically for men; I’m the “nerd girl”, no longer a human with personality.” Like ‘cmon bro. I am still a human being; I’m not just here for you to get some weird fix.
“I’ve been with more than one guy who didn’t think brushing their…”
“I’ve been with more than one guy (3, in fact) who didn’t think brushing their teeth was a big deal. They either wouldn’t brush before bed, or wouldn’t brush in the morning. Your breath is disgusting. Stop wondering why morning sex doesn’t appeal to me when I can still smell last night’s sushi on your breath. I don’t want to make out with that. No mouth kissing allowed. No touching allowed, actually. Sort out your halitosis and then we can talk.”
“I cannot stand it when guys just blatantly…”
“I cannot stand it when guys just blatantly stare. Like, stopping in their tracks, mouth hanging opening, staring as hard as they can. That is so creepy. How do they think that’s going to get them anywhere with a female? We are scared that we’re about to be abducted. Does anyone know how to deal with this?”
“When you don’t reply to a text right away and they send…”
“When you don’t reply to a text or something right away and they send more messages apologizing for the neutral thing they just said, asking whether you now hate them, imploring your forgiveness, asking if you are busy, etc. Then, if you don’t reply to that right away, they turn around and start calling you a frigid bitch. Then by the time you actually check your phone they have dissolved into making the most indecent propositions they can come up with…I really need to delete tinder….”
“Both are going to dry me up instantly.”
“Saying “I hate makeup.” Talking about their crazy exes, or their fantastic, sun shines out their butt exes. Both are going to dry me up instantly. Doing push-ups or any other physical boast like that. Being impressed when a woman does ANYTHING at all, that just makes you look sexist. Also acting like women are fragile damsels, and any mild inconvenience to them is a chance for you to don your armour and defend their honor. That indicates that you are desperate and put women on a pedestal above other humans. No thank you.”
“Those annoying guys who pretend they’re better than…”
“Those annoying guys who pretend they’re better than most of the jerks you’ve dated in the past and then shocker, they turn out just like the rest of them. Just because you claim to be mister nice guy doesn’t mean your lack of communication, constant need for gratification and unwillingness to pay for anything makes you better than the rest.”
“When guys talk to you like they’re about to…”
When guys talk to you like they’re about to date you for a week straight then all of a sudden they’re no where to be found. Did you die? Nope you definitely didn’t because you just looked at my snap story. I’m sitting here slowly cringing every time I see a status update or Instagram picture and you’re just out livin’ your life like I never existed.