Sometimes it is easy to tell when people are joking and other times, well, it's very difficult. And these people should definitely know that first hand.
Saving Up
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“An old roommate wanted me to start paying more in rent because he was trying to save up to buy himself a house.”
Oh Wait…
Shutterstock/Borysevych.com
“I asked a coworker with what his son’s name was, and he answered Legolas. After two seconds of laughing I realized he wasn’t laughing. His son is actually named Legolas.”
Being Taken Seriously
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“My friend told me that she was naming her daughter Bunny Petunia and I just laughed and said “Can you even imagine how much she would hate you?!” Her face just fell and she said she thought it sounded sweet. I felt bad but I decided to go all in with the honesty and tell her that Petunia sounds like a reasonable name (even though it reminds me of the mean aunt in Harry Potter) but that a 35 year old woman named Bunny might have a hard time being taken seriously by her peers in a professional setting.”
I’ll Never Forget
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“When I was in middle school there was a period of a few weeks when kids would fake seizures to get a laugh. It was the hip thing to do. So, I was at the mall toy store one day and I came around the corner of an aisle and saw a kid a little younger than me on the ground, absolutely killing it.
I delightfully shouted, “DUDE, YOU ARE GOOD!”
I’ll never forget his parent’s faces when I looked up and figured out what was really happening.”
Oh No…
Shutterstock/Luis Molinero
“I saw a largely pregnant woman, and made a stupid comment about “bet you can’t wait to get that out of you!” She said “eh, not really. The baby doesn’t have a heartbeat and I’m just waiting to have the still birth.”
What Happens In Vegas
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“When I was 18, I went with my then girlfriend to Las Vegas to meet her parents (we were in Florida where she lived with her aunt and uncle). I found out that her dad and mom lived in separate houses right across the street from one another for whatever reason, which was strange but definitely not the strangest thing that would happen that trip. Her dad came over to her mom’s house to meet me and I couldn’t help but notice he was dressed in a suit. I thought maybe he was just a fancy dresser. He kept asking me questions about my family and how I felt about his daughter. He seemed to like me, and we went through the trip on fairly pleasant terms, but nothing else happened of any note.
Once we get back home to Florida, my girlfriend decides to tell me that her dad thought we were coming out to Vegas to get married and he dressed up because he was planning on taking us to get married that day. She had to tell him that we had no intention of getting married in Vegas.”
A Sweet Old Lady
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“I used to have an elderly patient I just love because she’s just a jolly, sweet old lady (and she might have brought me some food, from time to time). She’s the type of lady that’s just barely understanding technology, so she gets a smartphone and tries to stay up to date with everything that’s going on, so she believes in most of the clickbait articles and satire news (like The Onion).
One day, she comes by the clinic saying she’s sick. I examine her, just mild symptoms of a common cold, nothing too serious. I tell her that she has an infection and this type of infection is treated without antibiotics because it’s not a bacterial infection but a viral infection. She understands that part, but then she asks me:
Her: “So, I have a virus?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. What you have is a virus infection.”
Her: “So… do I have to stop using my smartphone, to prevent my smartphone from getting the virus?”
At first, I smiled because I thought it was a joke and I found it cute but she was dead serious. Like, she was concerned that she couldn’t get her smartphone close to her mouth because her viral infection might spread to her smartphone and get hacked. I told her it was a different kind of virus, that her smartphone was going to be fine.”
*Face Palm
Shutterstock/Rachata Teyparsit
“Someone once said to me, “Wait you’re Chinese? I always thought you were Asian.”
That’s Theatre Folks!
Shutterstock/Liudmla Ermolenko
“I used to teach drama camp (ugh). I would take suggestions from the kids on Monday, write a half-hour play based on those suggestions that night, and then they would perform it on Friday.
I once had a parent come to see me after reading the script. She asked if there was a way to do a play with no conflict in it. I laughed, assuming that she was making fun of the other PC soccer moms I had to deal with.
But she meant it. She wanted us to tell a story without any obstacles or confrontations. I then carefully explained to her that a story without conflict would not be a story, but just a series of occurrences.
Man wants pizza. Man goes to fridge. There is pizza in fridge. Man eats pizza. Theatre!”
Who Let The Dogs Out
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“Worked at a pet food store. A women came in and asked where to put topical flea medicine on her kids, Frontline, I laughed way too hard. She complained to my manager, who also laughed.”
Well Then…
Shutterstock/Lighthunter
“I work in a deli and we had a new older lady start. I was showing her how to display the chicken breast and she turns to me and says “I’m going to have to work up to the chicken, my ex used to tie me up and hit me with raw chicken breast.” This was so shocking and out of the blue I assumed it was a joke, nope turns out she had just gotten out of an extremely abusive relationship. I just thought she was grossed out by raw chicken.”
All Your Fault
Shutterstock/Borysevych.com
“I work as a server in a restaurant. We use little wooden trays as check presenters and since it is an open air restaurant we weigh down the receipts with decorative stones (shiny ones like for the bottoms of fish tanks). I dropped a check for an older couple and when I got back the man said “You should warn people that those rocks aren’t chocolates! I could have broken a tooth!” I get a lot of older people who like to josh around with me so I definitely thought he was kidding.
He was not. He was actually mad at me because he had tried to eat the rock and it was obviously my fault.”
Long Forgotten
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“Met a guy, and I told him my name. He said “I’ll probably not remember it; I have memory problems.” I said “Haha yeah, I’m bad with names too.” Met him again two days later, and I remembered his name. He, on the other hand, didn’t remember meeting me. And when I realized it wasn’t a joke, and was told by his mother that he actually does have memory problems, I felt like a jerk.
Oh well, he doesn’t remember me laughing at him.”
Oh You’re Serious?
Shutterstock/Kues
“A man was regaling his fellow party-goers with his drunken jokes. He described being found as a newborn in a field, after his teenage mother hid her pregnancy and gave birth at home. All he knew about her was she was a Waffle House waitress. We sat there, enthralled, waiting for the punchline, until we realized he’d moved from “life of the party” onto the “in vino veritas” stage of drunkenness.”
Good One Lady
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“I was taking a long leg cast off a kid about 2.5-3 years old. After I get the cast split open and pull it off, mother says, “Oh, his toe fell off”. I’m like, “heh, nice one”. The kid was in the cast because his small toe had been nearly amputated and reattached; the doc was hoping what tissue was still connected would be enough to vascularize the distal portion. It wasn’t and the kid’s toe died and fell off.”
A Lesson In Judging
Shutterstock/Anatoliy Karlyuk
“I loved my Dad. I just feel the need to say that ahead of time. My Dad lived a very hard life, never learned to read, worked with his hands his whole life to provide for my Mom and I.
One time when I was about 15 we were watching Jay Leno and he was doing Jay Walking. I was talking about how funny it was that people could be that stupid. I said “Can you believe there are really people in America who don’t know how many stars are on the American Flag?” My Dad kind of chuckled and then said “There are 52, right?” I cracked up, thinking it was a joke, and then I finally stopped to see the look on his face and realized he was serious.
I felt like an absolute jerk, because I knew he was hurt, but I just really never imagined he was serious. I learned a pretty important lesson that day about judging people and being careful what you say that might hurt someone.”
Still Salty
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“Mine was a facebook message. One of my animal shelter buddies messaged me some text and 2 pics. I didn’t scroll up to the text. I only saw the one pic, which was a very funny looking dog. It was a fat chihuahua that had a very bewildered look on its face.
I replied “LMFAO”.
A couple hours later, I looked again and scrolled up and saw the text. something to the effect of a guy died and she was trying to rehome his 2 dogs and included 2 pics. To which I replied LMFAO. So, I’m a jerk. I tried to explain and apologize but I still think she’s a bit salty about that.”
Wrong Answer!
Shutterstock/Ollyy
“I was at a Kobe Steakhouse (Teppanyaki, like Benihana’s) and as always, it was the birthday for a girl across the table. She was there with her mom and probably a good friend. Anyway, once the table realized it was her birthday and we all wished her a good day, she asked me how old I thought she was. If I were putting money on it I would have said 13, but I figured she’d feel good if I said I thought she was a bit older, so I guessed 16. She got “mad” and said “No! I’m 20!!” I laughed. She didn’t. Then I realized she was serious. Now every time my friends and I go to Kobe Steakhouse, we bring it up.”
Never Again
Shutterstock/Axel Bueckert
“After my sister in law had her son she has a lot of trouble with her weight. She was big. And always saying how hard it was to have a baby, ‘never again’, etc etc. And the weight kept piling on, she must have reached nearly 18 stone (about 250lbs).
Due to holidays, work and other reasons my husband and I ended up not seeing her for quite a few months. When we did all meet up again she said, with the most flat tone of voice, “I’m going to have another baby.” I burst out laughing because since her son was born all she would say it’s that she would never have another, she never wanted any more kids. “No, I really am” she says. “I’ll believe that when I see it!” says I, “so when are you having this baby then?” “In three months.” Ah. Oh dear. My mother in law compounded the awkwardness by saying “well didn’t you notice the bump?”, basically drawing even more attention to SIL’s weight. I still cringe thinking about it, and it was four years ago.”