We all have those quirks that, although we don't notice them, drive our S.O. crazy! The things these people experience on a daily basis with their S.O. will make you SO glad you're single!
“He gets the toilet paper out when the roll is empty and…”
He gets the toilet paper out when the roll is empty and then just leans it on the empty roll. You’re sitting there…pooping…the roll is empty and the new one is RIGHT THERE.
The wife with the slippery hands.
Drops her f****** hair straightener every morning. She gets up earlier than I do so I’m still sleeping when she starts getting ready. Every. F******. Morning. She goes to plug it in, it slips off the dresser and onto the floor.
The ultimate devils play.
Squeezes the toothpaste from the middle instead of the end.
The constant crier.
She meows for food when she knows damn well it’s not time for food yet.
“We’ve been married over 40 years and she has NEVER…”
Making toast. She plugs in the toaster, gets out the butter, finishes making toast. Toaster is still in, bread on the counter, butter is uncovered. I ask why do you leave this stuff out? She says she may want more. We’ve been married over 40 years and she has NEVER wanted more toast. NEVER.
“Do you think this will happen?”
Talking about a TV show during the show! “Why has he done that?” “Do you think this will happen?” “Who’s he?” Well shut up and you might find out!
“She loads the dishwasher like…”
Loads the dishwasher like she’s Hellen Keller. When I rearrange everything we have space for like 10 more dishes.
“Used to be random until she found out how much it bothered me.”
She takes the stickers off fruit and instead of putting them in the trash, she sticks them to the counter directly above where the trash can is. Used to be random until she found out how much it bothered me, now she does it deliberately.
The very forgetful S.O.
Not sure if this is considered “little” but she forgets to turn the burners off on the stove after cooking. Gonna burn this f***** down one day…
She just likes the sound of her voice, okay?
She’ll sing the same line of a song for 30 minutes…
The never ending reasoning.
Him: I think you should make broccoli with dinner instead of potatoes. Me: Okay. Him: Because the potatoes would be really starchy. Me: Yeah, I’ll make the broccoli. Him: And we had potatoes. Sunday Me: Yep. Broccoli. Him: Ok, so you make the broccoli and we will have the potatoes later. Me: Right Him: S– Me: SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT THE BROCCOLI. DAMN. F***. PISSCHRIST.
The ticking time bomb.
Microwaves food, stops before the time runs out, leaves time remaining displayed instead of the clock.
“As I patiently wait for him to actually be ready, he…”
If we need to leave at 9am, he starts getting ready at 8:58 am. Which requires him chugging the cold coffee he has been ignoring, taking a 20 minute poop whilst he Facebooks. Not being able to locate his keys, phone or pants he wanted to wear. After all of that, as I patiently wait for him to actually be ready, he has the nerve to go stand by the door and ask if I’m ready in a hopeful tone of voice as if he’s been waiting for me this whole time.
How rude!
Waits until I’ve settled into the couch to ask me to get something for him.
The Debbie Downer.
Phrases things that aren’t going to be bad news like they’re bad news. “Now don’t get mad but, we should eat less quinoa. It’s starting to bother my stomach.”
“She ends all her texts with ellipses…”
She ends all her texts with ellipses. It just always reads like she’s annoyed with me. Me: You want Italian for dinner? Her: Ok… Then I’ll see her in person, thinking she’s going to complain, but she’s so excited for Italian.
“We’re out of dish soap.”
Answering a question with the answer to a different question. Me: Should I use the paper plates? Her: We’re out of dish soap. So WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!