There is nothing more satisfying than getting real revenge of someone has wronged you. That is especially true for an ex. You know where they are most vulnerable to attack, you know just how to exact the best revenge possible.
We combed Reddit and found some of the best stories we've ever seen about people getting back at cheating spouses, lying boyfriends, two-timing girlfriends and every other kind of horrible partner you can think of. It feels good to know that people can be this creative, even when they are at their angriest!
She Took The One Thing He Used In The Kitchen
“My boyfriend at the time cheated on me. We broke up, yadda yadda yadda.
Upon moving out, I took the can opener with me. He pretty much only had canned soups and such until payday, and he also didn’t drive or live in walking distance to food places. Basically, I made it a pain in the behind for him.
A few days after I moved out he asked if I took the can opener (so I know he had been looking for it!) and I told him I didn’t. I ended up throwing it out at the new place I was living because they had a nicer one.”
Making Sure Her Tickets Were Useless
“I dated this girl for two months and we broke up.
For Christmas I got her tickets to see her favorite band. Since I got two tickets and the intention was for us to go together, I simply asked for my ticket so I can still go and see them myself too because I also liked that band and wanted to see them. They were GA, so we wouldn’t have to sit by each other, and the show was sold out by that point. My request for my sole ticket back was ignored and a week later I saw a tweet from her that said she was selling my ticket. That ticked me off…
So I called the ticket company and claimed the tickets were stolen and could I get new tickets with new barcodes. Hers would be obsolete.
To get to the concert is almost an hour train ride so those angry texts about her getting denied at the door were even better to read at the time.”
She Waited Ten Years For The Payoff!
“I moved to America to be with this guy (let’s call him Jerkoff). Jerkoff happened to work at the same big box store as my friend. One day I went to the store to meet my friend, and a coworker innocently said, ‘Are you looking for Jerkoff? He’s visiting his girlfriend.’
I responded, ‘I’M HIS GIRLFRIEND.’ Jerkoff was apparently with his other girlfriend. He told me he went to Montana to visit a male friend. The coworker specifically mentioned his girlfriend in Montana. HIS LONG TERM GIRLFRIEND IN MONTANA.
Now another thing you should know about Jerkoff is he bought his toothbrushes wholesale and lived in the grungiest apartment ever, so I cleaned every inch of that bathroom, toilet included, with each and every one of those remaining toothbrushes, documenting every step with photographs. Then I rinsed them in the toilet and put them back in the box, packed my stuff and left.
Ten years later, when I’d calculated he was on the last brush, I sent him the pictures. I’d imagine he responded with profuse vomiting, My friend still works with him, apparently he called off work two days after that.”
Spoiling The Ending And Loving It
“Back in 2005, I was dating this girl. She took a 2 month trip to Ecuador and was going to move in with me upon return.
Since she was a huge Harry Potter fan and the Half-Blood Prince came out in hardcover while she was gone, I bought her a copy as a ‘welcome home’ gift. During our long distance phone calls, I started to notice she was acting strangely. I asked her a couple times if she had met someone, but she denied it every time. Luckily some mutual friends were on the trip with her, and they gave me the heads up that she had hooked up with not one, but two different guys. I called her out, and she finally caved and admitted to it.
When she came back to pick up the stuff she had left at my house she was surprised to find a brand new copy of The Half-Blood Prince with an inscription that read. ‘Welcome Home. Dumbledore dies in the end. Sucks to be the last to know, huh?'”
The Treatment Of Her Dog Was Worse Than The Cheating
“I found out my then boyfriend was cheating on me.
And he threw my dog across the room when we were discussing what he had done. My dog was ok luckily, one of his nails got broken off when he hit the wall, but I’ll take that over broken bones.
I moved out immediately, more for hurting my dog than anything else. As I was moving out I took his entire ‘collection’ of dirty DVDs and microwaved them one by one. It only takes 3 seconds each. Took me about an hour to go thru them all. I put them back in the case, then back where they belonged. Not sure if the microwave was still usable, but I did not really care.
He was also a manager at a restaurant and would bring home tons of food. He would treat the place like a grocery store really. He brought home 25 rolls of toilet paper in a trash bag once…we could afford to get TP. Anyways, they had really nice coolers that the food came in so I called the GM and explained I had moved out and that I wanted to return the coolers and let him know just how much inventory was at our place. He lost his job. Then I was getting collection calls for him. I gave the bill collectors his new girl’s work and personal number so they could find him, also so she would know just how much of a degenerate he was.
Don’t mess with my dogs.”
Both Women Busted Him Together
“I dated a guy and later found out he had another girlfriend.
I messaged the other girlfriend on MySpace (showing my age here) and told her if she wanted to know the truth it would be better to hear it from him, so please call me and I’ll call him on three-way calling. She did and stayed totally quiet on the call while he tried to set up a date with me for later that week.
Finally I said ‘I don’t think I can do that, (your other girlfriend) might have a problem with it, wouldn’t you?’ She finally chimed in with a nope and a eff you (to him) and he hung up in a panic.
I wished her luck. No idea how it turned out for them, but I blocked his sorry butt and still get a chuckle at the moment of pure fear we heard in the silence before he hung up.”
Cornering The Market On His Collectables
“My ex collected specific brands of antique and mid-century dishes and pottery. There was a certain coffee mug that was rare and when they come on the market, they’re usually expensive. He had a few, but could never quite get the whole set.
After 8 years together, I came home from work one day and he announced that he was moving out the following day, and leaving town, as he had been seeing another man for quite some time and they were in love and blah, blah, blah. He left me with the house and the dog, but pretty much nothing else. I was devastated, but also mad as heck.
Not long after this, I got a huge promotion at work, which came with a huge increase in salary and a bonus, nearly twice what I was making just two years before. He always used to complain that we never had enough money, but he always seemed to have money for his stupid collectible dishware.
I spent a great deal of money to buy up all of the available pieces that he did not have in his collection. I was newly single, jilted, angry, and, to this day, I have no idea if he has even noticed that I own a sizable chunk of the missing collection and have standing orders with four dealers across the country that contact me first if they come across these specific dishes. They sit in a box in my home office now.
It’s petty. I know. I’m not proud. But it feels good.”
Getting Him Drafted Into War Is The Ultimate Revenge
“Not exactly petty, as it was deserved, and too good not to be shared.
My grandma’s first husband was an abusive piece of trash and made her life miserable. I could tell she was miserable every time she told a story about him. Eventually, they got a divorce. Now, this was around the time when drafting was still a thing in the US. I guess because he was married and had two kids, he wasn’t eligible for the draft. After the divorce, however, he was eligible. So my grandmother calls the local drafting office to inform them that he was no longer married, and therefore, eligible for the draft.
He got drafted
My grandmother never heard from him again.”
A Plan With Great Retell Value
“My sister’s boyfriend at the time (now husband) made a post on my Facebook profile after I’d accidentally left it open. It’s was about my new boyfriend at the time (now husband) and it said, ‘I love (my boyfriend) and his huge, veiny, triumphant, (you get what comes next). I was friends with my boyfriend’s parents and was completely MORTIFIED.
So, later that night, I took our dog out for a walk hoping he’d poo so I could collect it. I know, it sounds strange, but I had much bigger plans for that poo! I collected two massive piles of poop (bull mastiff = lots of poo). I put one in a bag and put it under the seat of his car. Then I saran-wrapped his entire car and strategically placed the other pile of poop right in front of the car door hoping he’d step in it.
The plan worked like a charm. He stepped right in it and was late to where he was going because it took him 20 extra minutes to unwrap his car. He didn’t find the other poo under his seat for a solid month. He just assumed the poo he stepped in was just lingering. It was freaking great. Petty but worth it!
And a great story that we retell and laugh about at almost every family function.”
The Old Potatoes In The Mattress Trick
“My stepsister found out her boyfriend was cheating on her.
One of the last things she did before she moved out was slice a hole in the fabric under his boxspring and hide a bunch of potatoes in there. Have you ever smelled old potatoes? He didn’t figure out what the smell was until he moved.
He thought something died in his walls.”
Those Aren’t What He Thinks They Are
“This happened almost a decade ago with my first boyfriend. He was a manipulative, selfish, raging doof and I was a 16-year-old with no self-esteem. A terrible match.
He basically lived at my house and had me cook for him all the time. He was trying to impress one of my ‘gangster’ pot growing neighbors so he would have me make them snacks multiple times a day. His favorite thing to eat was french fries.
I would be making 3 or 4 batches a day. Since I was cooking so many fries I would keep the Crisco I used to fry them in an empty coffee tin in the fridge. Over the course of 3 days, the Crisco smelled exactly like potatoes.
So my ex asks me to make him some french fries yet again (I’m the only one paying for them, by the way). When I tried to serve myself a plate of the fries I had just cooked he yelled at me and said these were only for him and his friend. He took the whole heaping plate and ran off!
My blood was boiling and I plotted revenge! I waited for the Crisco to solidify and I whipped it with a fork so it looked like mashed potatoes. Because of the many batches of fries, it smelled like mashed potatoes too. Now I just had to wait.
Soon enough my ex was back and he was still hungry because of all the pot he smoked with my neighbor. He had the balls to ask me for more fries! So I sweetly told him that I’d made mashed potatoes for him while he was gone.
He was so pleased! He said, ‘Thanks babe!’ And took the biggest spoonful he could straight out of the pot. He put the overflowing spoon straight into his mouth with a huge smile on his face. His smile quickly turned into disgust and he started violently throwing up in the sink.
He never asked me to make fries again in our short relationship. I broke up with him soon after.”
She Burned It All!
“This might be more of me finally snapping than petty revenge but…
I was with a man for two years that absolutely beat me and alienated me from everything. Towards the end of our relationship, he started working out of town. One day, I got home from work early to find him at home. He had told me before that he wouldn’t be home that weekend because they had to work overtime so of course, I was excited thinking that he was home early to surprise me. I was wrong. When I walked past his Jeep to go in the house, I noticed there were two takeaway boxes in the front seat and that my things (he kept one of my necklaces on the mirror and always kept one of my blankets in the back) were gone. Okay, weird.
I go in the house and his phone is on the kitchen table. I go back into the bedroom to find him asleep. I flipped on the light, still excited to see him and he yelled at me. I asked why he was home. ‘Because I freaking live here. Why are you here?’ Right. I apologize and go back to the living room/kitchen. He had cheated on me in the past and I decided to go through his phone. Well, I discovered that he had been in town the previous night and had spent the night with some woman, only returning home when I had already left for work. At that point, I had had enough.
I went out to his Jeep. I found rubbers inside (we never used them) so I poked holes in them. I cut open his seats. I took the plugs out of his tires. I cut a hole in his radiator (which I had just replaced). Then, I went back inside, gathered some of my things, his driver’s license, bank card (which was in my name) and my lockbox (containing all of my legal documents) then went to my mom’s. Once I was there, I opened the lockbox to make sure I had all of my important documents. I discovered that I had his social security card, birth certificate, and Jeep title. I was still pretty hurt and crazy at that point so I burnt them, along with his driver’s license. I remembered that I still had his/my bank card so I transferred the money to my account and then burnt ‘his’ card.
I was absolutely insane but it felt good to let out all of that aggression that I had kept inside (out of fear) for two years.”
She Knows She’s Driving Him Nuts!
“Ok this is REALLY petty.
My husband is insane about lamps and side tables matching and being symmetrical. Like, really annoying about it. So whenever we have an unrelated argument, even after we’ve made up, I slightly shift a table lamp askew, or I’ll tilt a picture frame. This started out innocently. We got into one small argument over furniture. He wanted matching lamps, I wanted a more mismatched look, and later that weekend we were putting up picture frames and mine were slightly tilted. He was being nit-picky about it, so when he left the room I just shifted all the frames. It was stupid and it massively snowballed. I just kept doing it every time he went out of town (every two weeks) because it was driving him nuts.
For years he thought it was caused by the city bus driving over a manhole cover. He even called the city about it. I considered telling him IF the city got involved with rerouting the manhole. They didn’t. PHEW! I would just ignore it or pretend I did not notice.
I swear I plan on telling him sometime, but it’s a fun prank between a married couple that’s enjoyed annoying each other for 20 years. He takes photos of me when I fall asleep on road trips and post them to my social media, so I think we’re even.”
She Ruined His Credit
“Back in 2001, I was cheated on by a guy I dated for a few years.
After we broke up I went to Walmart’s book aisle. I grabbed about 40 subscription postcards out of the magazines and filled them all out with his name and address. I marked the bill me later option and mailed them slowly over a few weeks.
Five years later we hung out via mutual friends, and in the garage, there were so many magazines that the two car garage was a one car garage. Three years after this we were talking and he mentioned how his credit was messed up because he didn’t pay for some magazine subscriptions and they turned him into the collection agency.”
Pretty, Pretty Gross
“I was dating a really abusive guy for a while. Gaslighting, physical abuse, cheating, the lot of it. I stayed for way too long. But to get him back and make myself feel better I made it a point for us to go ‘make-up cuddle’ in the jacuzzi after every fight. What he didn’t know was while I was sitting his lap and kissing him to make up I was also peeing on him. It went on for years.
I recently got in contact with him and we met up. He wanted to apologize for what happened between us. His face, when I told him I had peed on him for years, was priceless.”
Changed The Locks, Tossed The Phone, And Emptied The Bank Account
“When I found out my then-husband had been hooking up with a coworker for over two years, he was in Denmark on business. I took every penny out of our joint account and opened a new account at a different bank.
When he called to ask why his debit card didn’t work, I acted puzzled. This went on for days until he called the bank. In the meantime, I’d gotten an attorney and filed for divorce, and changed all the locks.
I also took his phone and threw it into the Mississippi River.
All this just emerged from my absolute fury. She was 15 years his junior, it had been going on for over 2 years, and I had just moved across the state for him, and he said nothing before the move. They worked together and I had invited her to events at our HOME.
Best thing I ever did.”
The Salty Taste Of Revenge
“I was working on a fruit picking farm with other backpackers in rural Queensland. I’d had a boyfriend when I arrived there, and I left because he dumped me and immediately shacked up with the witch next door (who had been my friend too).
The morning I left I was up really early to catch the bus out of that dump, I noticed that they had been up late drinking and left their room keys in the communal kitchen. I took those keys and hurled them into the fields in front of camp. Then I took some soy sauce and poured it into the trainers they had left in front of their room. So petty, yet so cathartic.
You know he actually walked me to the bus stop? I was still all cut up about him obviously. I just imagine him getting back to camp and his new girlfriend freaking out about her shoes being wet and umami flavored.”