They say half of all marriages end in divorce and these wedding guests could tell at the wedding that the "happy couple" wouldn't last. People share the moment they knew the bride and groom were doomed.
The Groom Looked Miserable
“At the rehearsal dinner, the groom’s mom is in tears, because ‘he looks miserable’ and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for each other, the bride starts with ‘I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don’t know why you’ve stuck around, but that’s all going to change starting today!’ They were divorced a year later.”
She Was Actually Proud About It
“I was reunited with a family member just before her wedding. We went out drinking and she proudly pointed out a guy at the bar that she’d just gone on a trip with and had a week-long prenup intimate romp. She seemed to think I’d think that was naughty and funny. I just felt bad for her future husband, but figured it was just a bad choice. The day of the wedding, I went to see her in the bridal suite. She had the guy there with her. She slept with him the night before the wedding. They lasted a few years, but it was a miserable few.”
They Tried To Call It Off
“I was working at a ‘wedding factory.’ On Monday we got a call the Saturday wedding was canceled. They were told that they would lose the deposit (around $7,000). Then on Thursday, they said it was back on. When the guests arrived everyone was ticked off. It seems they told everyone was it was off, then two days later that it was on. The ceremony was about 3 minutes. The bride then changed into sweatpants and then everyone got angry wasted. ‘Well this won’t last long’ I thought. Then on the following Monday, the bride walked into my (then) wife’s divorce attorney’s office.”
The Cops Came After A Fight Broke Out
“My cousin married a nice, respectable girl from Connecticut, but he is a not-so-nice, not-so-respectable Massachusetts stereotype from Norfolk County. Cousin got hammered with his band of Mickeys and Sullys the night before, and when I saw him for pictures that morning, he was sucking on a pint before throwing it in the corner of the church and cursing his friend out. He had the same stupid grin on his face for every picture. I pumped some coffee into him, we thought we had it under control, but during the ceremony, he flipped off the guests twice. His brother also taped HELP ME on the bottom of his shoes for when they took the mass. The bride’s father was furious.
But then came the reception. My mom didn’t want to go. I wish we hadn’t.
Cousin continued sucking down drinks, as did his pals. The bride, God save her, wanted to go ahead with the first dance: Stand By Me. Cousin didn’t put down his drink, was grabbing her butt during the dance, and finally spilled it all down her dress. She slapped him. He pushed her. Father of the groom charges the dance floor. The benches clear. My brother and I ask mom if she wants us to get involved. She grabs her purse and says ‘let’s leave.’ As his buddies were holding cousin back, she walked over, slapped him, and said ‘Thank God your grandmother died, you disgraceful little Mick!’ (Momma is a very quiet woman.) We grabbed momma and hightailed it out. Two cops passed us on the way in.
They began the annulment one week later. I haven’t talked to him since, although he emailed me asking if he could borrow $5000. He lives in a camper, from what I hear.”
The Groom Ate The Wedding Ring
“My cousin ‘Jan’s’ wedding was basically just a preamble to an elaborate Dance of Divorce that we all knew was coming from the moment the engagement began. For context, this took place 15 years ago in the backwoods of NC. My family is just a generation or two removed from snake-handling in church, so some of the wackiness is the product of upwardly mobile inbreeding, and redneck gumption. Just a few things that come to mind:
Her fiancé proposed to her OVER THE CORPSE OF HER FATHER. He was over with the family watching TV when Jan’s dad collapsed on the floor. He died before emergency services arrived. Her boyfriend grabbed her hands as she was sitting next to her father’s body, pulled her up to her feet, and then asked her to marry him. He later said that he ‘didn’t want her to get away.’
The fiancé then disappeared for a month the week after the funeral. Nobody knew where to reach him. The bride’s white trash mother told Jan that she had to get married within 4 months because she planned to move to another state with her new boyfriend to avoid bill collectors. When Jan’s fiancé showed back up, he was cagey and weird. Eventually, it came out that he’d been living with his ex-girlfriend because she insisted that he had to give her a month of his life, or she’d take him to court for child support that he was supposed to be paying on their infant son but had never paid.
Throughout all of this, Jan continued to insist that she wanted to marry him. My mother and I did most of the wedding prep and arrangements (Jan’s mom, despite insisting on the 4-month timeline to help pay for the wedding before her move, never contributed a dime), and we were both pretty convinced that the wedding was going to be canceled at any moment. But, the day arrived, and so did the principle players. At the wedding itself:
The groom walked around drinking out of a massive travel thermos with a novelty straw, and told everyone who would listen that Jan was a good ‘starter wife.’ Jan threw several tantrums about stupid crap, including one in which she accused the groom of stealing her drink. He told her she was a ‘dumb tramp,’ but it all worked out because then she found her drink. The groom pulled the ring off of Jan’s finger during the reception and swallowed it ‘as a joke.’
The groom picked a fight with his father because his dad had asked the ex-girlfriend to stay at home, and the groom had really wanted her to be there. Jan was in the dark about this invitation until the fight broke out.
They eventually did divorce. Eating the ring caused the groom some discomfort, so they had to cancel their honeymoon to the mountains so that he could go to the ER and get hospital-grade laxatives. They lost money on the cancellation and the ER visit, which they really didn’t have to lose. That resulted in some immediate debt problems, and they lost the trailer they’d planned to rent when they couldn’t come up with the deposit. That resulted in both of them moving into the groom’s parents’ home, into his old bedroom. Things went downhill from there.
The groom’s ex-girlfriend popped back up less than 3 months after the wedding, heavily pregnant with his second child. She went after him for another ‘shared month,’ but Jan wasn’t cool with it. The ex ended up taking him to court for child support. Jan got a second job to make ends meet while resigning herself to living with her in-laws for a while longer. One day, after he’d dropped her off at work, the groom sold Jan’s car. He then disappeared for several more weeks. She lost both jobs and shortly thereafter realized she was pregnant.
The groom accused her of cheating because he thought he couldn’t have more than two children in a lifetime, and his ex-girlfriend had already filled the quota. As I understand it, this is what ultimately caused the rift in their relationship.”
The Mother-In-Law Was Placing Bets
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“The groom looked wasted and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom.”
The Groom Stabbed The Bride’s Brother
“The groom stabbed his new brother-in-law to death with the knife used to cut the wedding cake no less. About four years before the wedding, the wife’s brother had shot her in the leg during an argument. Yes, drinking was involved. At the reception, he started loudly telling the guests that he wished he’d shot her in the head instead, at which point the groom got stabby. Drinking was again involved.”
Her Vows Said It All
“Her vows. They were friends of mine who dated for nearly two years before their wedding. He loved her more than she loved him, obvious to all our friends, and we suspected she begrudgingly said yes to his proposal.
He said his vows first and went on and on about loving her for the rest of his life. During her’s, she started with ‘438 days… that’s how long I’ve loved you.’ It seemed sweet until she ended her vows with ‘And I promise to love you for at least 438 more.’ Most thought nothing of it and some friends called me a jerk for saying it was a subconscious sign she wasn’t in it for the long haul.
She left him exactly that amount of days after the wedding with a note that said ‘I kept my vow to love you for 438 days more, but I can’t for a single day more.’ Called it.”
They Met The Couple Before The Wedding And Knew
“On our way to our honeymoon, we were on a flight with this couple sitting behind us. She boarded the plane with a giant carry-on and a garment bag with her dress in it. Once they found their seats, she shoved her bags at him to put away and then went to use the lavatory for about 15 minutes. She was really nasty towards him the whole time.
Fast forward to running into them at the resort: She was super stuck up and catty to every female and all of the staff. She didn’t seem to have a problem grinding on 4 or 5 different guys during one of the ‘dance night’ themed events while her husband drank alone at the bar.
Finally, the day of their wedding came and my husband ran into the groom sitting alone outside at the cafe with a drink in his hand. He sat down to chat with him and the guy explained that he was freaking out because they had no friends or family at the wedding, because literally NO ONE that knew him liked her or approved of the wedding, and that he wasn’t even sure what he was doing there. My husband tells him he’s sure it’s cold feet, and to just have a drink to calm his nerves. The groom replies that this is his 5th drink (it’s like 11 AM) already.
We had an oceanfront villa and they got married right outside of our back door. He looked like he was going to bolt for SURE. I guess that was her plan the whole time, trap him on a remote island.”
He Knocked Up His Casual Hookup So They Got Married
“My cousin got his casual hookup pregnant and somehow they came to the conclusion that they needed to get married. Instead of going and getting quietly married, they decided they needed a gigantic expensive wedding. Like, 5-course meal, 300+ guests, 12 bridesmaids kind of wedding. Obviously, something like this takes awhile to plan and as a result, she was about 7 months pregnant. Now, nothing wrong with going down the aisle while expecting, but she chose this corseted dress that was cinched so tight it nearly flattened her bump out (as someone who has been pregnant I can’t imagine how uncomfortable that must have been).
The fact that they had only known each other 8 months and she was 7 months pregnant was like the elephant in the room the entire wedding. She refused to acknowledge the fact that she was pregnant. She had been out of college for 10+ years and invited all her sorority sisters. They got up and all sang this weird sorority song together. Very odd for an over 30 woman, it was like she was trying to act like she was much younger. They were married about 4 years, way longer than anyone thought it would last.”
She Was A Controlling Bridezilla
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“The bride, whom I didn’t even know, I was related to the groom, apparently designated me to help decorate the reception hall prior to the wedding. I went to do so, and her mother was there, telling me in a hushed, scared whisper that I better not mess anything up because the bride would be FURIOUS. Everything was to be a certain way, and if it was wrong, I’d ‘pay.’
I gave her the benefit of the doubt (chalked it up to wedding anxiety) and during the reception, I tried to chat with her a bit and she literally rolled her eyes at me. I also didn’t see her look at the groom once at the wedding or the reception.
They were split less than a year later. Later, the groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he’d been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread and spent several hours just sitting on his lawn, thinking, ‘I shouldn’t do this.’ But it was paid for, tons of guests were waiting, lots of family (including us) had come in from out of state, and he felt he had to go through with it. Apparently, the bride had a history of being awful and controlling. No clue what made him propose to her in the first place.
I Facebook stalked the (ex) bride. Her latest status update is announcing her wedding date with a new guy. Someone ‘jokingly’ asked in the comments if they’ve set a date for the divorce. Oh snap.”
All Of The Speeches Were Awkward
“4 people made speeches: The bride joked about the first time she dated the groom when she was 16 and he was 26. The groom was wasted and spoke about how each of the previous times they broke up didn’t count and that they would do it right this time. The maid of honor talked about how even when they were broken up they still got along, and the best man made bad jokes. Groom’s brother didn’t attend because he too had banged the bride before.”
He Got So Hammered
“Our friend was the girl who had spent a whole year setting up for the one day. They had taken 6 months of dancing lessons and she has spent a ridiculous amount of time looking good and dressing up her bridesmaids for the wedding of which my wife was one. So come the night of the wedding, the groom meets up with his old friends and starts to get blackout wasted. He got so hammered he didn’t even recognize us, rather just pushing us aside to get to the bathroom.
The worst part was the dance itself. It was really heartbreaking to see them stumble around and watch the panic on her face as she realized he had no idea what was going on. I gave it 6 months at the time, but they ended up 3 years. She ended up marrying another woman.”
You Could Tell She Had Been Crying
“My cousin’s wedding. The groom invited his ex, who was also the mother of his one-year-old son (he and my cousin had been dating for longer than two years), and my cousin (who was then very pregnant herself) got into a loud screaming match with him over it in a bathroom. They eventually came out and got married, my cousin with puffy red eyes from crying that you can see in every wedding photo that was taken. The family widely believes that she only married him because she was pregnant herself and that she thought it was better to be married to a cheater than to be a single mother.
They’re still together (it’s only been a year) but from what happened then and what is going on now I’m just counting down the days. My cousin’s one of those people who share EVERYTHING on social media and all of her posts are just full of regrets and despair and prayer requests because of her marriage, the relationship he has with his baby’s mom, and her struggling with being a mother.
They Couldn’t Agree On Anything
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“A bunch of my family members are betting on how long one of my cousins’ marriage would last. It’s definitely going to end in divorce, but we just don’t know when. Here’s all the crap that happened:
Pre-Wedding – The couple can’t even agree on invitation card designs, so they decided each would have their own. Some people received 2 invitations.
Wedding -They’re both from different races, and the groom’s family insisted on having a wedding ceremony from their culture too. The bride refused the part where she has to kneel before her husband and wash his feet clean. The groom’s family insisted and she was stuck doing it. The bride got tired with all the photo taking and refused to pose for any more photographs, even though she hadn’t taken photos with the groom’s extended family. Meanwhile, she had already taken photos with her entire family, extended family, and parents’ friends. The groom’s cousin told the bride she walked inelegantly and she spent hours crying and refusing to come out for the wedding dinner. Half the groom’s family boycotted the wedding over the bride’s race and religion.
Post-Wedding – The bride insisted they should fly first class for their honeymoon, the groom insisted it’s a waste of money, even though they both come from money. The bride flew first class, the groom stuck to economy.”
He Invited His Friend Who Was Pregnant…
“The groom invited his female friend, she was in the early stages of pregnancy. Towards the end of the night, the bride asked the aforementioned friend who the father was. The friend cheerfully said the groom’s name. They ended up staying together for about a year, surprisingly.”
The Groom Made An Awful Speech
“The groom said in his speech ‘When I joined a dating agency I never thought I’d be so lucky as to find my own personal cook, dishwasher, and washing machine.’ Not only is that a crappy way to describe ANYONE, he’s in for a nasty surprise when he realizes his wife is actually a complete diva and will expect him to do all those things for her! Bad relationship all around.”
They Had Completely Different Views
“They only got married because they had hooked up unprotected on their first date and conceived a child. Fast forward a few months, the bride objects to going to the groom’s friend for flowers for the wedding because she has a religious objection to the ‘gay lifestyle.’ Turns out she’s also incredibly racist. The groom is not homophobic or racist at all and was appalled to find out that his new wife wouldn’t approve of most of his friends. The baby hasn’t even been born yet and the divorce is pending.”
She Couldn’t Stop Laughing
“During the ceremony when the priest started asking the bride ‘Do you take this man to be your…’ she started laughing uncontrollably and couldn’t stop. It was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got really uncomfortable. They lasted a year and change. We all kinda knew the only reason they were getting married was because she got pregnant.”
They Spent So Much On A Disney Wedding
“They spent $50k on a Disney wedding and the bride spent zero time anywhere near the in-laws for several hours. She ran off a week later. No contact with the groom. This was over 10 years ago. The awful part is that the guy was/is such a wonderful person. He just attracts ‘crazy.'”
He Paid The Housekeeper For…
“Friend got married. On his honeymoon, his wife went to the spa, he stayed in the room to chill. Housekeeping came, young cute girl, my friend paid her for a BJ. Told me about all proud. Didn’t last a year.”