There is some real scum of the earth out there. However, what these people encountered will just leave you speechless on how trashy humans can be.
(Content has been edited for clarity.)
Their Friend Had Some Weird Rules At Her House
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“When I was 9 years old, I had a good friend with a trashy family. My parents would never let me stay overnight at her house. For some reason this one time my mom said I could. Her mistake. My friend fell asleep while we were watching a movie in the living room that evening with her 15-year-old brother, who was already missing one front tooth. After a while he whispers, ‘Hey look.’ I turned to look at him and witness my first hard man’s junk. He’s got his pants pulled down just enough to show it meanwhile grinning at me. Then starts begging me to suck it until I tell him I’m going to wake up his sister and tell her if he doesn’t stop. He quit.
When the movie was over, I woke her up and said we should go to bed. So the two of us went upstairs to her bedroom and go to bed. Lucky for me, her brother’s room is downstairs. Now, her parents had newspaper laid out on the floor in the corner of her room and a coffee can, sitting in the middle of it. I didn’t ask her why. I wake up in the middle of the night and need to pee. I make my way down the stairs, heading to the bathroom. Halfway down, I see her mom on the couch with her nightgown pulled up and her dad standing in front of her with his pants down. The mom looks at me, whispers something and the dad turns and sees me (BAM seeing my second hard junk in my life, in one night). He yanks his pants up and runs to me yelling, ‘Get your behind back upstairs!’ I told him I needed to use the bathroom. He yells, ‘That’s what the coffee can in the bedroom is for!’ I ran to the bathroom, shut the door, turn on the light, watch the cockroaches scatter, and pee real quick. I run back up to the bedroom and lay awake all night. In the morning, I go to the kitchen and use the phone to call my mom to come get me ASAP while watching my friends mom with a gallon jug of milk, half full, adding water to it until the jug is full.
So yeah. That was the trashiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.”
This Story Puts “The Hangover” To Shame
“I was visiting Vegas with a few close friends of mine a few years ago. One of my friends had his university buddies flying in for a party from all over the US. In total, there were about 20 people in the group, including me. I have heard wild party stories from my friend with his grad school bunch, but given the absolute craziness of them, I never believed them. I am not a huge party guy, but I tagged along anyway to see where the night led us.
I was told by my friends that all the hotel booking is ‘done’ and I ‘do not’ need to worry about anything, and to just pack my clothes and hop on in the car to Vegas. So I did.
After landing in Vegas, reality hit me. There were only two hotel rooms that will be shared among nearly 20 people. The idea was that everyone is going to be sloshed and passed out by the end of the night, so no one cared who slept where. I did not like that, and I decided to go book a room for myself. One of the friends of my friend decided to share the new room with me, let’s call this guy ‘DJ.’ We did end up getting a room.
All of these guys left for the night to party. I had two more nights in Vegas, so I decided to hang back and explore the casino for a while and call it a night. DJ got ready for the party, took his hotel key card, and left with the other bunch. I got back to my room at about 2 a.m. and went to sleep.
Around 5 a.m., I get a knock on my door. But I was too tired to get up and I knew DJ had his own key so I don’t need to get up to open the door. I slept in.
Now at about 8 a.m., there is loud thumping on the door. I get up, look through the peephole and it’s the police. I am an immigrant, software engineer working in California. DJ was an absolute stranger to me. I had heard stories about being a Silicon Valley millionaire entrepreneur but like all the other stories from my friends, I had them brushed off as fakes. But seeing police, not one, not two, but four of them made me almost poop my pants. What kind of guy is this DJ? Are there illegal substances in his luggage? Is the illegal stuff in my room? One strike and I am out of this country. My life’s messed up. I started sweating.
I put on my pants and open the door.
‘Good morning, sir’ says the policeman politely. ‘Do you know DJ?’
I get a brain freeze.
But then I noticed something weird. The hotel hallway smelled funny. Wait! That smells like poop. Then I looked down near my door, some huge brown patch there. Like someone tried to clean up something there.
‘Yes sir, umm… I don’t know him… He is a friend of a friend. I am just sharing a room with him. I don’t know the guy though. Is there a problem officer?’
The officer looks at his deputy, looks back at me. Says ‘Sir, your friend was arrested for wasted misbehavior. He apparently was in a wasted delirious state. He has been diagnosed with poisoning and been transferred into ‘such and such’ hospital.’
‘Here are his possessions.’ Cop hands me a black garbage bag. Suddenly an odor of vomit and crap reeks out of it. I take the bag and throw it in a corner. Then the office told me the whole story.
Apparently, my friends partied hard that night and moved on to a late afterparty. DJ was wasted and was ‘given something’ (I am guessing some hard stuff). He found himself robbed of everything including his wallet and phone and car keys. Somehow he dragged himself back to the hotel room. The knock I ignored was him trying to get in without a key. He had to poop bad. But instead of finding a toilet, he proceeded to take off all his clothes. Yes. All his clothes and he pooped next to our room’s door.
He then marched into the casino naked looking for water to clean his bum. A wasted chase ensued between hotel security and DJ, until he was caught and restrained, completely naked, covered in poop and pee. The police were called in, and DJ was taken to hospital.”
Jake’s Mom Has Got It Going On
“The trashiest thing I’ve ever seen is someone bring someone else’s mom to a high school prom. The names are changed for anonymity.
There is a group of friends. One of them (Jake) is a funny and nice kid. His parents go through a bitter divorce, and rumors start coming out that one of Jake’s best friends (Chris) is banging Jake’s mom. No one could confirm this until Chris pulls the power move of bringing Jake’s mom as his date to prom. She shows up wasted, grinding on all the kids, getting more wasted. She gets them thrown out.
I felt bad for Jake. He was a junior and had to live with that for a year. The funny thing is Jake and his mom’s relationship has healed. I saw them on Facebook together. I’m not sure I could ever forgive my mom, and definitely not Chris.”
Pee Would Not Set This Woman Free
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“A woman getting caught stealing at Home Depot and then peeing through her pants to try and get the loss prevention guy to let go of her.
I can still hear him clear as day: ‘WHAT THE CRAP*, *LADY. WHY!?'”
She Needed An Exterminator, Not A Pharmacist
“This happened recently. A lady came into our pharmacy and presented a bag full of bugs. She asked our pharmacist to identify the bugs and tried to hand our pharmacist the bag. Our pharmacist refused to touch it, and the lady talked about how she found all those bugs in her condo, hair, ‘in her’ and other places.
From what our pharmacist could tell, it was a bag full of fleas, bed bugs, and other random mostly dead bugs.”
What Happens On Greyhound, Stays On Greyhound
“I was riding Greyhound, so I should have expected some mess. During the course of my trip, two passengers, one male, the other female, got to talking and it turned out that they had both been released from prison. The guy had a bottle which they started sharing. This led to him going down on her, legs up on the seat in front of them, and eventually full-on doing it. Somehow they were not asked to get off the bus. Greyhound at its finest.”
Everyone Should’ve Just Steered Clear From This Bathroom
“When I was a preteen, I ate some bad food at a restaurant. We went to target after, and my stomach turned sour as we entered. I went to the bathroom, and not even five minutes later, I had to go again. I just decided I’d stay in there until I was empty. This went on to the point that I told my parents to go to the other stores they wanted to hit and just hit me up after.
About 10 minutes into the ordeal, I hear people come in. I’m thinking ‘great, no way they won’t hear and smell this.’ They’ll probably turn right around. Then I see three pairs of feet in the stall beside me. One female and two male.
These trashy, trashy people had a full-on threesome in the target bathroom while I’m shooting out sloppy wetness that smelled like death incarnate three feet away with just a stall wall in between us.
I only ever saw their feet, but I’m counting it as something I experienced.”
This Poor Baby Didn’t Stand A Chance With This Terrible Mother
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“I’m a paramedic, and we get called for an active maternity call. As we pull up, there are four cops outside losing their crap, which is normally a sign that there’s something unholy going on inside. Normally, visions of press releases, medals, and sugar plums dance in cop’s heads at maternity calls. We go inside to find a fifth cop, a female, staring in horror. The mother is standing and there was the baby on the ground, not breathing, umbilical cord still attached. Pipe in hand, still smoking.
As we walk up, the placenta falls out, which is a sign that this isn’t her first, second, or third rodeo. We found out later that this was kid number seven with father number five. My team goes to work on the baby, the other crew goes to work on mom. Turns out mom had been smoking smack all night, and when the baby fell out of her, she thought nothing of the fact that it was blue. Then this conversation happened.
‘Isn’t my baby beautiful? He’s that color because his father is black.’ My partner, who’s a smart aleck responded with, ‘Honey, unless his father is a Smurf, he’s not supposed to be that color.’
So we work the kid up, get the kid ventilated, get IV access, and the kid rapidly improves. We get the kid out to my bus and get him packaged. My partner goes back in to get the placenta, and then has to fight the women’s giant pet rabbit for it.
The kid did fine and was placed in foster care.”
Nothing Was Going To Stop This Couple From Having A Good Time
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“Downtown Tempe on New Year’s Eve about 15 years ago we were walking back to our cars after midnight. We spotted some police surrounding a big green electric junction box. As we got closer, we found it was two naked homeless people (a guy and a girl).
They were doing it behind the box and were determined to finish. When they realized the cops weren’t willing to touch them in the act, they started waddling around and waving to the crowd like it was a parade; the dude still humping her like a rabbit. Mace was sprayed, batons used as pry bars. At one point, the guy got his concentration on and looked like he was going to finish. Nothing stopped them until a taser was deployed and they both fell face first onto the street like sacks of concrete, and the woman got tazed via their ‘connection,’ as far as I could tell. The whole scene lasted upwards of 15 minutes.
I’m still both scarred and entertained by the thought of it.”
This Grandma Knows How To Party
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“It’s late at my local townie dive bar’s karaoke night when the bar’s owner and namesake shows up. She’s a tiny 75-year-old woman in a pink cardigan with a great big loud voice, with her two early-20s granddaughters in tow, heavily wasted and dressed for the club. Up she rolls to a quiet guy who’s been hanging by the entrance smoking, they exchange some words and walk around to the alleyway beside the bar. One of the granddaughters hikes up the skirt of her dress, squats down on her heels, and proceeds to pee all over the sidewalk while the other granddaughter runs around the corner screaming, ‘Don’t sell smack to my grandma, gosh darn it!’ From down the alley echoes grandma’s voice, ‘Shut up, girl. It’s my birthday, and I’ll do what I want!’
When I had enough of this scene and went inside, the bartender was trashed off her tail and pouring everyone free doubles.”
They’d Never Felt So Out Of Place At This Trashy Bar
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“I went to a wedding in a rural part of Pennsylvania. Great wedding at a golf course, but the reception ended at 10 p.m. So we went to one of the local bars that we were at the previous night. To frame the story, I am in a car with three other friends. The four of us are all wearing the typical post-wedding attire. Dress pants and dress shirts but with the sleeves rolled up, no ties, and an untucked shirt. Kind of how you get towards the end of a wedding reception. The bar itself was definitely a small country town bar.
So we pull up to a bar called ‘The Bear Moose Inn’ that sat on the side of a country road. As we pull in, my headlights beam directly on a lovely young couple that are ‘doing it’. This girl was bottomless with only one of her legs inside of her jeans bouncing on top of the guy. They were doing it right on top of one of those crappy crushed rock parking lots. No attempt to get privacy or, you know, at least not be directly in line with where people pull into the parking lot.
We then all walked inside waiting for our other friends to show up. I immediately realized that we did not fit in given our attire. It’s the first time in my life where the types of people to fool around openly in a bar parking lot fit in more at a place than I did.”
She Didn’t Care If Kids Were Around Or Not
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“I used to work in a rough part of town. I’d see this woman walking around to all the customers, talking to them for a couple of seconds, and then moving on. I asked one of the customers what she said to them. Turned out that she was offering a ‘good time’ for €20, and the full package for €50. Told her she was banned from the shop.
I went out a few minutes later to go to the bank and passed a covered alleyway on the way there. There she was, leaning up against the wall, with some guy hammering at her. This was about five meters from a busy city center street on a Saturday afternoon, with a big family-oriented event.”
If You Want To See Some Trash, Go To A Music Festival
“Music festivals, man.
I saw an old lady in neon pink leopard-print spandex sitting on a younger guy’s shoulders, doing lines off of his bald head.
I saw two girls, apocalyptically wasted, laying naked in the collapsed ruin of their tent, alternately throwing up and pleasuring each other in the throw-up.
On multiple occasions, I’ve seen people purchase a six-foot binger, use a six-foot binger, bring the six-foot binger into the crowd, and weep over the shards of a shattered six-foot binger.
Streaker, riding a disturbingly fast motorized and taxidermied deer, screaming and pinging spent nitrous canisters at security.
After a guy’s big bag of mushrooms burst and exploded all over the ground, a frenzied mob of around 25 people truffle-hunted and devoured the fallen fungi in under a minute.”
These Women Just Couldn’t Control Their Hormones
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“When I was 16 years old, my mother joined a group for single professional mothers. She met with the organizers, and they invited her to an event they had scheduled for the next evening. The event was a screening of ‘First Wives Club’ at a historic theater, and they had gotten a bunch of local firefighters to volunteer to be ushers. They were to greet each member with a rose and a drink and then showing her to her seat. But you asked for trashy, not classy, right? Stay with me here.
My mother did not drive, so I dropped her off and promised to pick her up in two hours. Forty minutes later, I was back at the theater, my little brother in tow, looking at a large crowd of police and curious onlookers. My mom had called to tell me there had been an incident and asked if I could come get her. This was before cell phones, so we marched up to an amused looking officer, who showed us into the theater. Inside we were greeted by the sight of a dozen or so well-dressed, scuffed-up, and blotto middle-aged women in cuffs, and many pissed off, rumpled firefighters. Apparently, quite a few of the club members had overindulged in the free drinks, and asked the firefighters to demonstrate how quickly they could suit up. The firefighters obliged them by stripping off their gear. This was not enough for the women. They wanted it all off. While Diane Keaton shrieked at her cheating husband, these inebriated single moms decided to ‘help’ the firefighters with the rest of their clothes. No was not an option, and they were quite forceful. That’s about when the cops were called. According to my officer, when they arrived, the lobby was a scene of utter chaos; high heels had been kicked off, hair had been mussed, alarmed firemen scratched up and clothing was torn. These men had been trained to enter burning buildings; they had not been prepared for something like this. These were dumpster fires of a different sort.
My officer friend pulled my mom out of a side office where she had been hiding with a couple of other women, and we were sent on our way. For years after, anytime my mom got on me about something, I’d bring up the time I had to bring my seven-year-old brother to rescue her from a wasted attempted fireman assault.”
She Was Lining Guys Up Like This Was An Amusement Park
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“I was at a college party in an apartment when a seriously hot girl wearing daisy dukes and a halter top arrives. She starts walking around drinking and yells, ‘Somebody do me!’
One guy chats her up, and after two minutes, she drags him into the bedroom.
About 20 minutes later, the guy comes out, with a grin on his face. Nothing I hadn’t seen before. Then, from the bedroom, ‘Send in another man!’ Everyone looks at each other, no one moves.
She walks to the bedroom door, naked. Looks around, points at a guy and says, ‘You. Let’s go.’ Guy goes.
She did it with eight guys. Coming to the doorway each time to pick a guy. After a couple guys, she is not even closing the door. For the last three or four guys, she is standing there with man juice running down her legs.
I managed to avoid being picked by hanging in the kitchen, watching through the island/cabinet gap.
She walks out after eight guys, wearing the shorts and halter, man juice all down her legs. She drinks a cup of party punch and leaves.
Find out later she was 16, a townie, and had done it before.”