How are the chats with the in-laws? When there’s animosity between towards the spouse/ new family member or when the in-laws are too comfortable with them, that’s when conversations can take a wrong turn. These 12 married individuals share the most unforgettable conversation they’ve ever had with their in-laws. And after reading them all, I can see why. Content has been edited for clarity purposes.
Whose Fault Was It?
“Once upon a time I was dating and married a man who came from a very large family. Everyone had three to eight children per couple. One couple, my boyfriend’s favorite uncle, had one child. The aunt was wonderful with children, a perfect godmother, a dotting babysitter. Being young and stupid, I thought, ‘Why doesn’t she have more children?’ So I asked my boyfriend why they only had one girl. He said they had two, but the little boy died. He was very upset when he told me, so I stopped badgering him about it.
At one family celebration, my father-in-law was a bit tipsy and said something about how dangerous a skid loader was, what a murderous contraption they could be. He was talking to the favorite uncle at the time. Afterward, I asked my now-husband what his Dad was going on about. Turns out the favorite uncle had backed over the three-year-old with a skid loader while fixing the driveway. I was shocked. What a tragedy. I was still curious about the details.
At another family gathering, I asked my mother-in-law how the aunt ever forgave her husband for killing her son. She barked at me, ‘Hmph, she’s lucky HE forgave her for letting the child run out in the yard when she was supposed to be taking the boy to the grocery store!’
OH! No wonder everyone was so quiet about it. It was a truly tragic accident that was a result of not knowing what was too late to know. I wish I hadn’t asked!”
“At once after coming home from our wedding reception, I went to refresh. When I came back, my husband‘s relatives including his parents were worried and walking here and there hurriedly. I was standing amidst them, looking around clueless about what was happening.
And then I noticed my husband lying there soaked in sweat and eyes shut, surrounded by his relatives. My heart literally started thundering and I realized something was wrong. It turns out he started throwing up and collapsed. That was supposed to be our first night but we decided to postpone it and slept.
And the next day my mother-in-law asked me, ‘Is he okay now?’
I said, ‘Yes.’
She repeatedly asked me the same in different ways.
I said, ‘He is fine.’
Then she asked, ‘Are you happy?’
I replied to her with a yes. That’s when one of my relatives said that she was indirectly asking me whether we did the deed as it was our first night. I felt awkward yet when she asked again I answered yes and left the place.
Later that evening, she came to me and said, ‘Actually, I and your father-in-law slept right at your bedroom door and we know that nothing happened.’
I didn’t listen to her properly. So she repeated it again. What did I just hear from her in repeat mode? ‘NOTHING HAPPENED!’ YES! I have heard her right. Yes, that’s true actually NOTHING happened between us that night. She was happy about that and happy about spying on us at our bedroom door that too on our first night. I felt as if we were sleeping on transparent walls in front of her.
I still double-check that they aren’t spying on us, before and after going to bed. They shouldn’t have done that in the first place and then they shouldn’t have at least disclosed it to me.”
A Broken Promise
“When I got engaged to my now-husband, my father-in-law started telling us he was leaving us his house. Told that to us for way over a decade and once he died, we found out he never signed the will.
It’s sad how people all are liars and why I never trust anyone at their word.
We were very hurt by this and no, we never asked for the house either. Yes, my husband had a sibling who never spoke to their dad in way over 20 years but the dad should have never said anything at all to either of us. That being said and thank god there was a lawyer to deal with the sibling because that sibling wanted their cut NOW. He demanded it through email, phone calls, and text messages every single day. I warned the lawyer, but he didn’t believe me or my husband.
So when we went back in a month, the lawyer was so stressed out. But I told him, ‘The sibling only cares about the money.’
This is how a true family is. Always lie to their loved ones and there’s always a gold digger wanting to claw out the last nickel And boy, if they think the other got too much, well, then it’s unfair. Siblings are true pricks and become demons and even the devil himself over money.
My thing is if anyone promises you their home in a will, DON’T BELIEVE ANYTHING THEY SAY. We never had a chance to get the house because we knew the sibling wouldn’t go forth with it. It’s sad and pathetic but this is our reality.
Years later, the mom was dying in hospital. We all got together, and the house got brought into the conversation. My husband and I were over it by that time, but they couldn’t believe we didn’t want the house anymore. Seriously? The sibling hounded the lawyer EVERY SINGLE DAY and if we didn’t get it sold fast enough, he would of started doing same to the both of us.
My father-in- law should have been honest and said that it needed to be split due to other siblings and leave it at that. From there, my husband and I would have made sure to plan better for the future of his house over all those years. But he lied and the sibling wanted his cut yesterday.”
“I wish my MIL had not repeatedly and incessantly announced that ‘women should have their babies young.’
At the time, I was engaged. My older sisters had had their children in their 40’s, for various reasons, infertility for one, the previous child who had passed and then adoption for another, and a later-in-life marriage (like me) for another sister. I know the woman was used to the young women in her family having their children either in their teens or ’20s, which is not how I was raised, BUT, I never commented on this because, well it wasn’t for me to decide, is it?
But she reiterated this so many times. That and so many other things made my husband and I feel alienated and secondary. So we started getting the desire to create our own family since our family of two wasn’t a real family to her, and we weren’t really part of her family. And my family, while not creating drama, have their own lives and are older than my in-laws, so possibly more likely to pass sooner as well, so we had both collaborated to have the wedding we both wanted. We worked hard to pay for it, and were settling in our new life, and realized that we wanted to share it with children. When we had our first, we did inform my MIL. Among other ways in which she alienated me as the mother of her grandchild, she announced at the hospital that I was ‘too old’.
While I was/am on the older side, that was incredibly cruel of her to insult me in the hospital and not even try to bond with the baby. Then again, it was incredibly cruel to go on during my engagement with little comments basically sending the message to us not to have kids. What if we’d been infertile and unable to conceive? That would have been doubly cruel. I didn’t make comments about her family’s breeding habits, because, well, you don’t do that! It’s not our choice, but OUR family IS our choice and our life.
We now have two beautiful children. My MIL doesn’t even know about the second one, we have been happily married for years, and lost contact with her a while ago. I wish she could have opened her mind, and heart, and realized that she and her daughter and granddaughter did not have to compete with me on our lifestyles, they could live their way and we could live ours.”
His Bedroom Door
“I was with a man for seven years and when we first got together, I was 30 and he was 21. His mother came up to stay with us. Before this, we had never met in person. I had only spoken to her on the phone. There wasn’t FaceTime back then. When she saw me for the first time, she had a strange look on her face. I didn’t think much about it because I thought, ‘Who knows what she’s thinking.’
So we all sat down to eat dinner, and she looked at her son and said, ‘Son, you have really surprised me.’
Her son said, ‘Why’s that?’
She said, ‘Don’t you remember the sign that you used to have on your bedroom door?’
I could tell he became uncomfortable. He said, ‘Mom, be quiet. We’re trying to eat here.’
We all ate in silence. By that time, I really wanted to know what sign he had on his door. So I asked her what the sign said.
She blurted out, ‘NO FAT CHICKS!’ And she started laughing with her LOUD laugh. I was shocked at how rude she was. My boyfriend was upset, but it was his mom, so he didn’t say anything. We ended up changing the subject and needless to say, she wasn’t invited to stay over after that. It did hurt my feelings a bit, but I knew I wasn’t that overweight. In her mind, I probably looked like a BEAST because she thought her son was the original prince charming.”
Father-In-Law Had To Much To Drink
“My father-in-law and I sometimes drink together. And when he gets a little tipsy, he may share things that are very TMI (Too much information).
Last year, things took a bit of a tragic turn. It started off okay enough.
He bragged to me: ‘When I was a young man, before I met my wife? I slept with more than twenty girls! Easily.’
I thought, ‘Okay. Nice, what do I do with this information? High-five, I guess?‘
He continued, ‘But then I met your mother-in-law and we fell in love. Also, she got pregnant pretty much instantly. I guess I’m too fertile. Boom! Pregnant.’
I thought, ‘Okay, nice, nice. Very good. Glad you blasted my wife into existence!‘
He said, ‘She had an operation on her ovaries over ten years ago. They botched it. I don’t know why. But we can’t make love anymore.’
I thought, ‘Oh no, oh no… this is too much, man.’
He said, ‘I want to be intimate with her, and she wants too but we cannot anymore. She doesn’t want to talk about it or even try. It’s too difficult. Too hurtful.’
He just stared at the glass in his hand, sadly. I felt so bad for him.
He continued, ‘I just miss it. For all these decades I took it for granted, and suddenly, it ended overnight. I never knew it, when it was our last time. And now I will never make love to her again.’
At this point I didn’t know what to say. What words I could speak, to make it somehow better. So I just hugged him. He’s a good man. So is his wife. They don’t deserve this, and they’re only in their early fifties.”
Just One Request
“Before we got married, my mother-in-law told me in anger that she wanted to tell her son not to marry me. This was after I broached a sensitive subject regarding the wedding and some of their young adult family members who are known to dress provocatively. I was respectfully coming to her to ask if she would take the girls in question shopping for something that would cover lady bits, as they were manning the guest table and the wedding was at my very conservative home church, and they are known to not cover up their lady bits. I broached this VERY gently, very respectfully, and without saying ANYTHING NEGATIVE about the situation, and I was SO VERY anxious that my teeth were literally chattering on the phone call. But when you’re paying for a wedding, you get to request some things, and I just wanted lady bits covered. It wasn’t like I was asking for much, just no booty cheeks, or nips to be seen at my wedding. I didn’t care if the dress was backless, just please make sure it covered the crack of their rear-end. It wasn’t much to ask, and I went to her because she really was the matriarch of the family. She called the shots.
By her response, you would have thought I committed a crime. I was screamed at, demeaned, my faith and church attacked, I was attacked, and was told she wanted to tell her son not to marry me because of this. I had this conversation sitting in the driveway of my fiance’s house, and went into the house just weeping after this.
To keep the story short, just suffice to say that she was a lot of the reason the marriage didn’t work. She enabled her son to treat me like absolute trash and shut me out. But she played nice in front of others so I was the crazy one. I was so depressed that I became suicidal. I had also lost my favorite job (we got bought out and my position was removed) and was massively depressed over this. My husband and his family assigned my human value to my work status. Helpful, right? No one ever came to check on me, and he badmouthed me to everyone, and his family would not stop it.
They are no longer in my life. I’m okay with this. But maybe she should have told her son not to marry me. Would have saved me the emotional abuse, neglect, and anger. It would have saved me from the pressure of trying so hard to fit into that family but still being left out of everything.
As it was during the divorce, my heart was not yet healed over this. I still really struggle with the fact that I’m divorced. This is not anything I ever wanted in my life. I do not believe in divorce unless for valid reasons, yet it still hurts so much.
Anyway, up until she made that comment on the phone, I had felt like a part of their family. I felt like I belonged. Sometimes I miss all the kids. So much. I loved being an aunt. But they were poisoned against me and as a result, they poisoned my husband against me.”
Her Husband Was No Help
“My in-laws screamed, ‘Get out of the house!’
No, not from their house, but it was my sister’s own house. They just didn’t just say it, they in fact sent her out of her own house.
This happened to my sister. My sister had recently delivered twin girls, when the kids were about six months old, her in-laws came for help. Or I should say ‘supposedly’ help.
Childbirth can be draining for a new mother, to add to it my sister had a complicated delivery. Her postpartum was at the peak, my brother-in-law (BIL) was losing his cool with her as well. And his parents added fuel to fire.
They made sure my BIL did no household chores, while my sister was expected to do everything, like cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids as well. She was a stay-at-home mom and my BIL was a software engineer who had a fancy six-figure salary. The in-laws had full control of my BIL. He acted differently in front of his parents and he started ignoring my sister and the kids.
The in-laws interfered in everything she said or did. Only day, she told to not to meddle with her life. They created a big scene and asked her to get out of her own house. My sister didn’t leave and stayed. Their emotional abuse did not end there. When she asked my BIL to take control of the situation and advise the parents, he snapped at her.
He said, ‘They will interfere as it’s their right.’
My sister was chopping vegetables while the argument broke, in the rage, she took the knife and threatened my BIL that she would harm herself if they didn’t stop emotionally abusing her.
This act of hers cost her her relationship. They sent her and the kids out of the house, the one she and my BIL owned.
I live close to her place so I went and picked her up. Later in a week or so, they booked tickets for everyone and forced my sister to go to India with them (during the peak of covid, with infant twin babies) and now are demanding a divorce.
This is probably the worst any in-laws can behave I suppose. They drove a normal person going through postpartum, into a lunatic and now are claiming that my sister is all at fault.”
An Unexpected Visit
“I’m not married yet but I do have a boyfriend and his parents are very close to me. My boyfriend had left his house to go shopping and I was making a sandwich in the kitchen after staying at his house for a bit when I heard a knocking at the door. It was his mom. I answered the door and she walked in frantically searching for something.
It turns out she and her wife stayed over at my boyfriend’s house while he was away in Canada for a month and they had some ‘fun times‘ while they were there… if you get what I mean.
Naturally they brought some toys with them but apparently one of them was missing. I wasn’t aware of what she was looking for until she pulled it out from under the couch. It was the most awkward silence. She looked at me and then back at the thing in her hand and broke into a loud laugh before apologising profusely. She was so sweet.
Fortunately for her, she found it before her son got home from his shopping trip. She told me not to tell him but I did anyways. He was understanding and its been a funny memory ever since.”
“Right before my wife, Amy and I were on rocky ground, my in-laws separated after 30 years. My father-in-law took it pretty darn tough and looked like he could have just laid there and died. Not too long after, our problems started to boil over.
With me in deep depression and no one to talk to, I turned to my now father-in-law. He was going through the same thing and could relate. Well, I told him, ‘my life, my love, my Amy was cheating on me.’
‘I didn’t raise her like that’ was his response. Then, I guess he started remembering things from his past. I could see his whole demeanor change from, ‘Not my baby girl’, to ‘Holy mole, I am sorry my son.’ But he called me ‘Baby.’
The next thing from his mouth does still haunt me.
He said, ‘I’m sorry baby, her mother taught her that nonsense. She took her everywhere. She would say, ‘Come on Amy Lee let’s go see my boyfriend or her ‘daddy’.’
Since then, I can’t stand my mother in- law. It also fueled the fire in me to fight, fight for those that don’t have the knowledge to combat infidelity. Everything you can think of, when it comes to catching a cheating spouse, I documented and logged. One notebook turned to 20. Social media, something I had no knowledge in, became my passion. The ins and outs of messaging. And all the little sneaky things. My pins are the keys to overcoming the travesty that is adultery. Basically, everything you can think of, from secret languages to embedding videos and photo editing. Two years of nothing but time.’
“I got pregnant at 16 and his entire family said my daughter wasn’t their son’s. It took a DNA to prove them wrong yet he knew she was his and never corrected them. It doesn’t matter now because I am so far from him and his family and my children want nothing to do with them at all. I discouraged that at first but they were so adamant about it, I am not going to make them do what they don’t feel comfortable with.”
Was She Their Dream Daughter-In-Law?
“I’m 5′2″, blonde, blue-eyes. My mother-in-law, when she met me, announced that she’d always pictured her son marrying a 5′8″, dark-haired beauty. He was a strikingly handsome 6′4″, so while I could understand her dream daughter-in-law, there wasn’t much I could do about it. That woman was just about the meanest person I ever knew in my life. She accused me of marrying her son only for the money and cushy lifestyle.
She said, ‘I’m onto you, missy.’
Then, when my career progressed to where I was making more money than my husband, she said ‘Oh, all you ever think about is money.’
Clearly, I could never win with that harridan, and eventually, I gave up trying.”