You know those heart-beating, palm-sweating, butterfly-fluttering crushes you get as a young teen? Well, they're all fun & games until the person does something to ruin those feelings in the blink of an eye. These people know first hand.
“She was going to a party and I said “you seem pretty unenthusiastic about going.” She replied with “don’t use big words.”
What A Pick Up Line
“Not really a crush, but a few weeks ago, I was at the dog park and a guy came up to flirt with me. I was mildly interested until he started telling this bizarre story about how he used to have a rabbit but got tired of it and threw it out into the backyard for his rottweiler.
Then he kept looking at me expectantly, as if I were supposed to join in with my own story of murdering a house pet. I just stood there blinking stupidly until he said, “So, you wanna ditch your dog and go see a movie with me?”
Nah, I’m good.”
The Chasing Game
“Started to like me back…. Eew.”
Throwing A Temper Tantrum
“My freshman year of college, I had a huge crush on a guy in my intro programming class.
We sat beside each other, and while I could complete the exercises easily, he was visibly struggling. So I offered to tutor him after hours.
He got upset that a girl was better at “computer stuff” than him and dropped the class.”
Future Step Dad
“Introduced me to her son. She and I were both 14 and her son was about a year old at the time.”
“We were making out and he burped INTO my mouth.”
Merry Christmas To Me
“I had a crush on this guy for SO long. He had a beard (check), loved coffee and beer (check and check), and could make me laugh (mega-check). He moved out of the state for a short while for work, but when he came back, I met him at a bar for his “returning home party”.
Everything was going fine for the majority of the night; lots of flirting on his end. But he kept drinking. And drinking. And drinking some more. He ended up getting s—-faced and one of his friends asked me if I could give him a lift home. I said sure, why not.
Here’s where the problems started. Homeboy wouldn’t tell me where he lived, for one. In his defense, he may have just been super drunk and incoherent, but it was still frustrating. I was housesitting for my grandmother at the time so I told him he was welcome to crash in her guest bedroom and I’d give him a ride home the next morning.
We get back to my grandmother’s house, I pull into the garage, and without skipping a beat, my crush opens the door and just vomits ALL over the garage floor. Better than the kitchen floor, but it was spreading and by the time he was all done, it had reached the walls. So I took him inside and gave him a glass of water and showed him where the bathroom was. By this time, it was at least 3am, so I was exhausted. I passed out in my grandmother’s bedroom to the sound of my “crush” (he was slowly losing that title) spewing.
Fast forward to 6am, I wake up to my crush standing right next to the bed staring at me, asking where he was. I explained and took him down to the guest bedroom; he had been sleeping on the bathroom floor. When I went back upstairs to turn the light off in the bathroom, the smell hit me. S—. The dude left a giant pile of unflushed s— mixed in with vomit. I gagged, flushed it, and went back to bed.
After I realized I had lost all attraction to this guy, I gave him a ride home. Didn’t get an apology, but I did get a drool-filled, awkward kiss that I did not want. Then I came back and spent 2 hours cleaning up vomit (it was Christmas Eve, too).
“Was on a picnic, he caught a fly with his hand. I must have looked impressed, so he followed it by throwing a shoe and hitting a nearby seagull.
Weirdest f—— way to try to woo a girl.”
“When I was in the 3rd grade, I had a huge crush on this guy named Robert. We went to Skateland for a school field trip, and I asked if I could buy him a soda. He said no. I was hurt, as any 8-year old girl would be. But a half-hour later, I saw he had bought this girl Allie a soda. I’m pretty sure I ran into the bathroom and cried.
Anyways, I found my elementary school diary a few months ago and saw an entry I wrote from this night. All it said was “Robert loves Allie. He doesn’t love me. I am heartbroken.”
Reading The Wrong Vibes
“Got asked out by a cute guy wearing a leather motorcycle jacket, probably mid 20’s, while I was waitressing. He was taking his Dad out to lunch at the time – I thought, oh how nice, tough and sensitive! He picked me up for coffee, showed up with a Hannah Montana T-shirt, spent the first 20 minutes talking about how he was home-schooled and loved that he still lived with his parents, and how hanging out with his Mom was better than going to college. Damn did I read that vibe wrong.”
Sawing Through The Problem
“In the 6th grade I tied our shoelaces together to be cute and to have an excuse to be close to her. Eventually when she had to leave, we discovered I tied the knot too tight and she ended up chewing through one of the laces to get out. She looked so stupid doing it that I just stopped liking her.”
A Rude Encounter
“It wasn’t our 1st date, but our 1st date at a restaurant, he was intolerably rude to the waiter. The waiter never even did anything wrong, he was just treating the poor guy like a worthless slave. Left date at restaurant and never called him again.”
A Hairy Discovery
“He got his hair cut kinda short and I discovered a HUGE, fleshy, hairy, pink MOLE. It was so so so gross.
I was like 16 and I avoided him until his hair grew back.
We’re married now.”
A Brutal No
“She hung up on me. I was 14, and had pined after her for about 8 months. I had joined the choir to get close to her. I had started playing the mother—— violin so that I could be in music classes with her. I was in love with her, and she knew it.
Ok, so I made it kind of obvious, but I was trying to work up the courage to ask her out.
We were friends, and in the same social group. Unfortunately it had become a bit of a standing joke (“Has danny asked her out yet??”) but the week before the school dance I finally grew a pair.
I call her up and the call goes like this
“Hi Kate, it’s danny”
“Hey…..um…..you know the dance coming up next week at School?”
“Well I was wondering, are you going?”
“Yeah I think so”
“Would you…..um….like to ….. go with me?”
She hung up on me! And it broke me down. It took me a week to even be able to speak to her again, and took me years to ask another girl out.
On the upside, at our 10 year school reunion she actually apologized for “handling it so badly”. I told her that I’d forgive her if she’d dance with me. And she did.”
A Quick Escape
“We were at dinner one night. The conversation wasn’t flowing particularly smoothly. The bill came and I reached for it. He thanked me and said he’d get it next time, that he had left his wallet at home.
When we hugged his wallet fell out of his coat. I saw at least a 50 dollar bill in there. He turned beat red, quickly got into his car and sped off.
This really happened.”
Excuse Me What?
“It’s really unattractive for men to ever show emotion.”
Sorry, but I’m not a robot.”
A Double Standard
“Pretended to date another guy just to see if I would get jealous…
Then got angry when I wasn’t.”
“Replied most texts with “ohh thats cool” or some other combination of words that added nothing to the conversation.
And I had common friends with her so I knew she was interested.”
Done, Just Done
“I was being silly by asking random questions such as “what is your favorite color?” He responded with a complete straight face and said “pink… Like vaginas”. That was it for me.”
“She said the words. ” I just want to find a nice man so I don’t have to work anymore.” I abandoned ship so fast!!”
A Complete Flake
“Thursday afternoon I asked to have a dinner and a movie date with a girl I had known for a little while. She agreed, set up a time to pick her up, everything was cool. Friday comes and I shoot her a quick text around noon to make sure we are still a go. ‘Yup see you at 6!’ She was from out of town so I had to take off work early and drive about 3 hours to meet her.
When I arrive at her place no one is home so I give her a call. She answers and she says she forgot and is out with some friends, meanwhile all I hear is a bunch of her friends giggling in the background. Obviously I’m upset that I drove all the way out there for nothing, but I keep cool and said my respectful, “Ok, maybe next time.” Hung up, drove home, called up some friends and got pissed drunk. Heard later from a mutual friend that she pulls this s— all the time.
Still have her as a facebook friend and she always complains that people don’t do anything nice for her. Tip for people out there; if you make plans with someone don’t flake out on them.”
A Confidence Killer
“So back in middle school, I had a crush on this girl named Sarah. We talked a few times nothing serious happened. Then one day, at recess, she went up to me and said “hey, can I tell you something?” So I said yeah, half expecting a compliment. She then replied, “you are ugly”. Lets just say I didn’t like her anymore.”
Why?! Just Why?!
“He ordered a well-done steak and then put ketchup on it. Why would you do that to a perfectly good steak?! WHY?!”
“I had the hugest crush ever on this one guy from ages 16-18. Like an asthma attack-inducing, name-doodling, poetry-inspiring, nearly fainting whenever he talked to me kind of crush. I was absolutely in LOVE with this guy. Our friends eventually tried to hook us up and we got as far as cuddling on a couch at a party one night, but I was painfully shy and it didn’t go any further. A few days later at another party, I had steeled my nerves and was ready to go in for the kill when I saw him pull this other girl into his bedroom by the hand. I asked one of his friends who she was & he replied “Oh, that’s just some girl he’s been f——“.
My stomach fell out of my butt and I felt like I was gonna throw up. Heart broken, crush killed. I made sure my best friend had a ride home and I just left.”