Meeting the parents is one of the most nerve-racking part of dating. Every couple has that one moment where they have to meet each other's parents. For some people it actually goes pretty well. But other times it doesn't. Here are those peoples' stories.
When Cleaning Up After Yourself Goes Wrong
“This happened to a friend of mine: Meeting girlfriend’s parents for the first time in their large, plushly furnished mansion house. Things were going great, until he needed to go for a crap. Initially, all seemed well. He dropped the load in the downstairs toilet. On flushing, he realized he’d left a bit of a skid mark on the porcelain. Fine, he thought – I’ll just use the toilet brush. Except – there wasn’t one. So he snuck upstairs to one of the other bathrooms, located a brush and carries it downstairs, still in its holster. Thoroughly cleans the bowl, then hurries it back up the stairs. Job done. But when he left the upstairs bathroom, to his horror, he saw a trail of sh-tty brown water running all the way up the stair carpet – his girlfriend’s mother at the bottom, scrubbing in vain to get his crap off the shag pile. Turns out the toilet brush holster leaked. They’re now married and this story was told at the reception to the delight of the guests” (Source).
This Woman Has Nothing (Left) to Hide
“My ex and I started out as a casual relationship. One day after having sex, I went from his room to his bathroom to clean up, and because no one was home I didn’t cover myself up. I’m halfway down the hallway and his mom comes around the corner (she had JUST come home) and laughed at me saying, ‘oh hey! It’s good to know you’re a true redhead too!’ I wanted to die” (Source).
It Wasn’t the Girlfriends’ Parents Who Were the Problem Here
“I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend in HS, but i decided to get one anyway. Real cute Italian girl whose Dad was way into classic cars. I ended up sneaking over to her house for dinner to finally meet her parents, but I hadn’t told my parents that I was leaving. Everything was going great, her Dad and I were getting along great and dinner was amazing! We sat down to watch a movie and all of the a sudden, someone barges in the front door… My parents, being the sleuthy devils they were, started calling around my friends asking where I was after they realized I wasn’t in the house. Eventually they managed to call my buddy (we’ll call him Austin) and he, being a good friend said that I was at his house. Now Austin lives right next to this girl (we’ll call her Jenny), and so I was actually parked at his house anyways. My parents were livid, so they drove to Austin’s house and asked where I was. Austin’s Mom answered the door and apparently cheerfully said ‘Oh he’s over at Jenny’s across the street!’ At this point my Dad, furious with me, walks across the road and barges in the door. Looks me square in the eye and says ‘Let’s go Mike. Now.’ …..I don’t talk to Jenny or her family anymore….” (Source).
Why Wasn’t the Stepfather Laughing Here?
“My ex-fiance met my parents at Christmas. Things were going pretty well until we exchanged gifts. He had gotten me a vibrating back massager. My mom started cracking up laughing, which set me off too. My stepfather just sat there stone-faced. It took my ex about 30 seconds to figure out why we were laughing at his present” (Source).
Don’t Let Grandpa Near the Groom at the Wedding
“When my father finally met my mothers parents, the first thing Grandpa did was pants my father in public. Grandpa is not a mature man” (Source).
How Did Not Get Thrown Out of the House?
“I met my girlfriend’s parents at their summer house the summer after my sophomore year in college. Though their daughter spoke highly of me, I was intimidated by their strict demeanor. They arrived at the house late at night with my girlfriend’s sister and brother, and because it was late, I introduced myself to them and everyone went to sleep. I shared a room with my girlfriend’s younger brother. Around 2AM, I began sleepwalking over to her brother’s bed. The brother’s room was laid out similar to my room at home, so I thought I was in my bedroom at home. I panicked when I felt someone’s warm face in the other bed. I could not find the light switch so I began to attack the ‘intruder’ (her brother) while screaming and swearing at him. I punched her brother in the face multiple times, even as he begged me to stop (note: I had never thrown a punch before). Her parents rushed into the bedroom, fully dressed, with their Great Dane on his leash, barking and lunging aggressively. When the lights turned on, her parents saw me in my boxers with my fists raised over their son. Her brother and I laid wide awake, silently, for the rest of the night. Basically, I suckerpunched my girlfriend’s younger brother while sleepwalking” (Source).
I’m on the Girlfriend’s Side Here
“Met the parents, had drinks, dinner was great, had after dinner drinks, then the girlfriend and step dad got into a screaming/throwing fight over how she accused him of molesting her. I took her home in tears” (Source).
Note to Self: Don’t Insult Your Girlfriend’s Mom
“I met my high school girlfriends parents during Sunday dinner and her father and I really hit it off. During dinner her mother, whom is named Donna, kept asking me a lot of questions to which her father joked that she had diarrhea of the mouth. I then joked that they should call her Donna-rrhea. Everyone laughed, except her mom, she hated me” (Source).
If the Boyfriend Loved It, This Is a Perfect Match
“Brought my first college boyfriend home for Thanksgiving – we were greeted by my parents in full Star Trek uniforms, dad was wearing spock ears, both giving the ‘live long and prosper’ salute. They ordered pizza and the delivery guy asks my dad why he didn’t just have the pizza beamed over” (Source).
What Else Could This Guy Do Wrong?
“Years ago I was at my ex’s for dinner for the first time, and found out that her parents are both incredibly weird. Not anything sexual, but it was definitely an awkward situation. When I eat potatoes I like to mash the f–k out of them with a fork and then mix in melting butter. When I tried doing this at the table her dad noticed what I was doing, got up from his seat, turned his back on me and literally shouted ‘THAT ISN’T HOW YOU EAT POTATOES!’ Obviously I didn’t have a clue how to react, I didn’t know whether he was being serious or if it was just his sense of humor so I looked at his wife for reassurance. She gave me that teacher look that they pull when you do something wrong, got up from her seat, took both my hands in hers with the knife and fork in them and cut the remaining two potatoes in to quarters. Her dad sat down again and we finished the meal in silence with him closely watching how I ate everything” (Source).
At Least He Didn’t Flip Them Off
“I was running late to meet her family for the first time and only a few miles from my destination, the car ahead of me was creeping along at 35mph in a 45mph zone. I’m impatient, so I rode their a– pretty hard. They slowed down even more to spite me, so when I finally had a chance to pass them, I got a good look at the stink faces looking back at me as sailed by. I wanted to see what these a–holes looked like! Turns out they looked exactly like my girlfriend’s parents. I pulled into her house and a minute later, they did too. After exchanging icy pleasantries, I explained how I had been running late and nervous and excited to meet them and that I don’t normally drive like that. Fortunately, they seemed to believe me and let it go. I went on to date my girlfriend for many years afterward and the only evidence that it ever happened was her father good-naturedly calling me ‘Speedy Gonzalez’ from time to time. Oh and he never let me drive when we went out together” (Source).
He Washes the Dishes? Thumbs Up!
“I once met a girls family and found out that they were super old fashioned; the women cook and clean while the men sit around drinking. It felt like I stepped into the 1950’s. I helped clean the dishes and all the guys were looking at me with ‘WTF are you doing’ faces. Very uncomfortable feeling. Nice girl but her family scares me a bit” (Source).
Is Chopping Wood a Euphemism for Something Here?
“I was off to pick up a new gf in high school one day. She was super late, so I just chilled at her house. Hey, look, wood to split! Yay! So I’m chopping away, on the side of the house where I cant see the driveway. I never heard her and her dad come home. So I get a text, ‘were here, where are you?’ I go to knock on the door, and dad opens it to see me on the threshold, sweaty, breathing hard and holding an axe. He stopped, stepped back, and we stared at each other for about five seconds. I panicked and dropped the axe, trying to say ‘oh hey just trying to help’, but dropped it right on my foot, so it turned into ‘oh hey ow sh-t!’ I’m no smoother today” (Source).
Now These Are Some Great In-Laws
“I lived just down the road from my eventually-husband when we were teenagers. I’d never met his parents and one day we decided that we wanted to play Nintendo after school so I got off of the school bus at his house. His mom was a stay at home and apparently his dad had gotten off work early and they… lost track of time. We walked in to the house and his parents were having vigorous sex on the living room couch. Luckily, my husband walked in first and very quickly backed out of the room so my view of the activities was only just long enough to understand what was going on. They laughed it off, got dressed, and made everyone an afternoon snack. They are wonderful people who accepted me into their home and as one of their own” (Source).
They Were Hostile Because He Didn’t Say “Hostel”
“Talking about traveling at dinner after meeting her parents for the first time. They mention Europe and ask if i’d been. I start to tell them I have been and it was especially fun, because I had stayed in brothels and met a bunch of really interesting people. Their eyes told me immediately I had made a mistake. Basically I told my parents I stay in brothels. Not hostels. I are smart” (Source).
It Wasn’t the Girlfriends’ Parents Who Were the Problem Here
“I live in a different state than the family, as you read on you will understand why… I met a woman who lived in a Euro country and we fell in love right away. After just a few months (while she was still officially on a vacation that was supposed to be 2 weeks) we decided to get married. Doing what I thought was proper, when we decided to get married, we traveled back to my home state to introduce her to the family. The first thing my mother said to my now wife (4 years with one kid and one on the way) was ‘Are you marrying my son to get a green card?’ It only got worse from there…this could get long so in short, my family boycotted my wedding, has never seen (other than pics on FB) my son, and I am a resident in the EU as well as living stateside part time. I now consider ‘my family’ as myself the people under my roof and in her family in the EU, who are amazing btw. That’s it” (Source).
All They Had to Do Was Blame the Cat
“Ok, I was meeting my former girlfriend’s parents. It wasn’t going well. I was made to feel a whole lot better when she told me this story. Her older brother, let’s call him James, had brought his first girlfriend over to meet the parents. Everyone was very nervous. It was the first time the parents had met a girlfriend and they had hovered and got out the best china for tea and cakes,a lot of effort had gone into the preparation and they had shooed the (evil and semi-feral) cat out of the house and generally made things pretty. They were halfway through tea and cakes, polite chit-chat was had. It was all going swimmingly with everyone was being on their best behavior, it all looked like it was going to be lovely. And then James’ girlfriend said ‘What’s that under the TV?’ And all heads turned toward the TV stand. Under which was half of a dismembered pheasant. Unfortunately in their frantic cleaning efforts, nobody had noticed that the cat had dragged a whole half of a mangled pheasant corpse into the house and left it, in pride of place, under the TV stand. The cat, at this point, was also nowhere to be seen and James’ mother apparently made a world-beating attempt to pass off the storage of half-dead game fowl in the living room as a perfectly normal thing which nobody should be worried about. I gather that James’ girlfriend did not come back for tea again” (Source).
Oh the Embarrassment
“This girl I had been seeing invites me over to her place to stay the weekend. She tells me Sunday night she has to get up for work around 5:30am and leave by 6am. She tells me, ‘my dad is going to be home at around 8am, you should leave before then’. Mind you, my car is in the garage. 7:42 rolls around. I hear the door to the room open and the light click on. ‘Who are you?’ My hear felt like it had exploded in my chest. I casually sat up, and explained that I was a friend of his daughter. ‘How long have you known her?’ ‘ohh about two weeks’ I should not have said that. I should not have said that. It was early in the morning, I was incoherent, and I was scared sh-tless. When he left the room, looking extremely disapproving, I got up, put my pants on (luckily I was wearing a shirt) and went to go feed the rabbits. (Yes, she has two rabbits which i agreed to feed before I left) So I casually walked past the dad to the refrigerator to get the veggies out to feed the rabbits. All the while, he is grilling me about who I am, what I do, where I go to school and what my parents do. I notice he doesn’t make eye contact with me, but stares at the ground the whole time. I’m thinking, man, I really pissed this guy off. I need to gtfo. I bolt down the stairs to the garage, dad following. I get to the garage, go to put my shoes on….and I see them. The pink/purple stripped fluffy knee socks straight out of a Dr. Seuss book I have been wearing from the night before that she lent me had been the center of his attention during the interrogation process. I cried a little. I get in my car, a 1986 Volvo 740, with the dad in the doorway. I start the car. rum rum rum rum………..rum rum rum rum…… The car won’t start. I pray to Odin to get my out of this mess. And I try again, one final time as the battery slowly drains. It roars to life. I slam it in reverse and mash the pedal. It nearly chokes out and dies. I put it in drive and head for the highway. Basically I was caught in girlfriends’ bed by her dad wearing her pink/purple socks. She wasn’t there. I had to feed her pets while getting interrogated. My car almost didn’t start” (Source).
This Dad Was Raped by God
“I must be a glutton for punishment because I KNEW what I was signing up for when asking my boyfriend to meet the parents one night over dinner at home. It starts with me frantically running about in the kitchen finishing dinner, 5 minutes before ‘Bobs’ arrival, my dad is still walking about in his tighty whities and refuses to put pants on. After begging and desperately explaining why it is inappropriate to be in your underwear when guests are over, my father finally obliges. Bob is now at the table when my dad, being a history buff, wants to show off his knowledge of the former Yugoslovian states to Bob who is from Serbia(Once a part of Yugo). My father proceeds to explain why Slobodan Milosovic is his hero. This is something like saying to a Palestinian that you love Israelis, or heading to Europe and saying Hitler is your hero, maybe just not AS offensive. Next, my father asks Bob his religious views. Mind you, we are eating at a table with a 4 foot painting of Jesus looking down on us. Bob replies he holds atheistic views. This is a conversation Bob and I haven’t even held yet. Leave it to pops to get everything right out of the way right off the bat!FINALLY and most painfully, my father looks at Bob, square in the eye and asks if he’s ever been raped. My mother and I drop our jaws in horror, and Bob calmly replied that he hasn’t. My father replies by proudly stating that he was. Silence at the table. This is news to us! Then continues by saying he was raped by God. God came, and took my father when my father didn’t want him. The horror. Thoroughly exhausted from the thrilling conversations, I was more than relieved to have the dinner come to a close soon after. Bob and I still date. This story is still an all time favorite now after many months of healing from embarrassment” (Source).
That’s One Way to Get Your Son’s Girlfriend to Leave
“I met my boyfriend in his hometown of Tampa for New Year’s early in college. I had heard horror stories from my boyfriend and his twin brother that their mother was overbearing and had no filter. I thought they were exaggerating and showed up at their house for our first meal all together. After a prayer (we’re in the south) we were making small talk about college life. My boyfriend and I were discussing how our lack of funds had forced us to condition ourselves to only have 2 meals a day. His mother, without missing a beat, looked over at me, handed me the mashed potatoes and replied, ‘Well you can afford to skip a meal or two’. I was mortified. I didn’t say anything. Nor did my boyfriend. I took an earlier flight home” (Source).