Flirting can be a subtle art, but some guys are just too dense to pick up on even the most obvious moves.
“Was watching a movie together on a couch and she went to lay her head on my lap. I got up to get her a pillow and blanket and set her up on the other end of the couch. In my defense it was the first time watching The Matrix.”
“Went to a party, was hitting it off with a girl I knew through some social circles. She was cute and a ton of fun, but I had to take off after a few hours. The party was in a friend’s apartment in the same building I lived in at the time. She was following me out, saying she needed to leave as well. We both called the elevator, and just kept small talk/flirting going on in the elevator.
I got to my floor, and she said that she thinks she forgot her jacket at my apartment. At this point I didn’t catch what was going on, so I told her that she’s never been to my apartment. I only realized what the hell was going on after the elevator doors closed.”
“I had a girl ask me once if I wanted to sleep with her. It was nearly a year later that it occurred to me that she might have been serious.”
Crying Over Hot Milk
“G: I’m so cold ????
Me: Make some hot milk
G: What will you do if you were here?
Me : Make you some hot milk
G: What if you and me are alone ????
Me: Make two cups of hot milk”
“We were at my house studying for an organic chemistry exam. Both of us were sitting close at the table with my laptop in front. I was talking her through the mechanisms and such, and she would lean on me and lay her head on my shoulder. As I kept going, she wrapped her arms on mine as I kept blabbering on. I thought I was massively friend-zoned, which is why I didn’t think much of it.
We took a break to watch a movie and she suggested we spooned on the couch. ‘I’m so friend-zoned that she’s comfortable spooning with me’ I thought to myself. She probably grew impatient that I wasn’t picking up the signs, so out of nowhere, she does a 180 and starts making out with me. Been together for 2 years now.”
“We took anatomy and biology in college. We used to study together. I mentioned that I had an inguinal hernia that I was having surgery on in a few weeks. She asked to see. I explained that it was right down beside my scrotum. She said she didn’t care, and was curious to see what it looked/felt like. I undid my pants and pulled my underwear aside enough that she could see. She reached in and cupped my balls and had me cough so she could feel the effect. She palpated around my junk feeling the hernia. The whole time I was concentrating very hard on other things, I assumed this was a “professional” curiosity.
Okay, you’re thinking. She could’ve just been a curious, and wanted nothing more. Then she asked if it got better or worse during a BJ. I replied that I hadn’t been lucky enough to have my condition and a girlfriend simultaneously. She replied that I didn’t need a girlfriend, just the right girl, all while gently cupping my scrotum. I looked at her, buttoned up, and said something about wishing I could find that person. Turns out she blew nearly every willing guy in the class, and a few of them ended up with an STI. So as dumb as I was, I dodged a bullet.”
“Looked me straight in the eyes and said ‘I want you inside me.’ I thought it was a fresh meme I hadn’t heard yet.”
“She showed me her nipple piercing, by removing her entire shirt and bra. I said, looks nice. She said, did you get a close look? I said, yup they did a good job. Shirt went back on.”
Sharing A Bed
“A girl (my crush at the time) and I were at my cabin alone for a night and all of our friends were coming out the next day. When we first arrived she said, ‘I call that bed’ and I told her, ‘But that’s my bed.’ She then jokingly said, ‘Well then I guess we’re sleeping together.’
Sure enough, she throws her pillow on my bed and lays down. I then lay down beside her on my side away from her (I was incredibly awkward and uncomfortable about the whole thing). I can hear her moving and shuffling and then I twitch my leg a little bit and touched her leg, she had gotten very close to me, I immediately apologized and moved closer to the edge of the bed. I felt like she was just messing with me because she knew I liked her. About 3 years later she told me she kinda wanted to mess around with me but thought I didn’t want to.”
“I was 17, and not worldly-wise. Went back to her halls (dorm) fairly late at night. I was examining her CDs (it was the nineties, this was one of the ways you assessed if someone was okay) and turned back round to find her sat on her bed in her underwear. I said ‘Oh, sorry, you need to go to bed?’ and left. About two years later I was walking down the street when it finally clicked.”
“I used to flirt with one of the female bartenders at a bar I worked at. It was really fun and there were so many signs. The biggest one that I should have obviously taken was when we left work at about 4am and I tried tickling her. No reaction and then she says: ‘I’m only ticklish in one place.’ She then began to rub her inner thighs near her lady parts. Basically giving me permission to go in and ‘tickle’ her. I laughed and said: ‘Oooo now I know how to torture you with tickles. I’ll get you next shift.’ Drove home. On the way home wow did I realize what just happened. She did not like the denial and that door was closed forever.”
Share A Cab
“Her: ‘Want to share a taxi back to my place?’
Me: ‘Sure I can drop you off then go home myself.’
Woke up in the middle of that night and knew exactly what I’d done.”
“A girl once said to me ‘Did you know that if people look you a lot in the eyes, it means that they either want to kiss or kill you?’ and then she stared me down. I was very confused about why she would want to kill me if she had spent so much time talking with me.”
“I was 22 and working as a cashier at Target. I rang out a VERY beautiful older woman. I scan her items, pitch a RedCard, all the usual jazz. After I give her the receipt, I turn around to restock bags. When I turn back, she hands me the receipt, smiles, and walks away. I look at the receipt and she has written her phone number. Immediately, I yell ‘Why did you write your phone number?’ She comes back, takes the receipt, crumbles it up and says ‘If you have to ask, you’re not ready.’ Walks away. I explained to one of my co-workers, and he hit me.”
“My best friend and I are talking on the phone. We spend a couple of hours that day talking about stuff that turns us on, and her various sex toys. One of the things for her is the smell of cooking garlic. She then tells me she’s cooking something with garlic in it. She eats whatever it is, making yummy noises while we’re still on the phone. She then tells me she’s going to get undressed and take a shower. She went out of her way to tell me she was leaving the front door unlocked. I said ok, talk to you later, and hung up the phone.”