Whether it's your first period or you've been dealing with it for years, all women have had some sort of snafu when it comes to that time of the month. While theoretically we shouldn't be embarrassed, it can be very hard not to be. Especially when you have some experiences as horrifying as these women.
“When I was 16, I was babysitting my 2 younger cousins. Their parents were away for a few days so I stayed over at their house. I slept on the couch. This period horror story is a 3-part adventure of extremely bizarre circumstances. Part 1: My period cycle started while I was sleeping, so needless to say, I was bleeding on the couch. I did not know this until… Part 2: It was the middle of the summer and around in the morning I turned my head to the side and I felt something wet coming out of my nose. I had a nosebleed, and I did not know this until… Part 3: I love cats, but not my cousins’ cat. Kevin is an evil orange ball with kitchen knives for claws. Kevin was sleeping right next to my face. I did not know this until I turned my head to the side and felt dense fur in my face. I disturbed Kevin the dark lord who then decided to tear up my face with his kitchen knife claws. I screamed obviously. By the time my cousins ran downstairs to look at me, I was bleeding all over their couch from my holy grail, and my nose, and my face, and screaming. I looked like I had been stabbed basically. They ran upstairs screaming, while I was screaming for them to come back down. They locked themselves in the closet and called the police. I didn’t know this until 5 officers with GUNS kicked down our door. (I EXAGGERATE NOT). Though I do commend my cousins for their home intruder safety skills. Their parents taught them right” (source).
“I’m a man. I was working in China as an adventure guide and I was staying in a hotel with a female guide (friends not lovers). She was in the bathroom getting ready when she called out that she had run out of tampons and could I please go buy some. I agreed and set off for the supermarket. But I couldn’t find them, I walked every aisle a few times and managed to find the pads/liners which I assumed were no good for the white water rafting we had planned for the afternoon. It was crunch time, I had to ask someone. My command of Mandarin is limited so I had to resort to the wonderful game of sign language. This game is fine when your looking for a bus station, but try to imagine the gestures one must make to describe the necessary actions that go with tampons. Needless to say I made quite the spectacle of myself, by the end of it I was surrounded by the entire staff and about 30 other spectators. All laughing as my face started to glow red. At my wits end after almost an hour of this one of those ladies grabbed my arm and took me over the road to an English speaking pharmacist who was given a blow by blow description by my giggling saviour. With a cheeky smile the pharmacist sold me some tampons”(source).
Baby Ducks In The Toilet.
“I was in 7th grade. Getting my period was still new to me and I didn’t have a heavy period the first three times, so why would it be different this time? I didn’t want to ask my teacher to go to the bathroom because I didn’t want to interrupt the class. I figured, whatever it’s only 45 minutes. How bad could it be down there. Well. I’ll tell you. It was bad. I looked down at the seat and saw blood. I internally screamed as my stomach did flips because I knew that soon everyone would know. I CLUNG to the plastic orange chair for dear life. By this time the classroom was emptying out and my plan was to run out and dash to the bathroom. But I couldn’t move. My two girl friends were waiting for me outside but when I didn’t come they walked over with worried faces. ‘What’s wrong?’ I couldn’t say anything. I think I was on the verge of tears. The teacher looked at us and she walked over too. Slowly I mentioned that I might have had my period. To add more stress the next class was starting to pile in. Quickly my teacher ran and shut the door. My friend unzipped her sweater. ‘Here! Wrap this around your waist.’ I thanked her 10039320 times. My other friend smiled and said: ‘Hey I have my gym shorts – you can change into those!’ My friends and I RUSHED into the bathroom and lucky for us it was empty! One friend started guarding the WHOLE bathroom. I started to get to changed and all I hear is: ‘You can’t come in here.’ Finally someone asked: ‘Um why?’ ‘BECAUSE THERE ARE BABY DUCKS IN THE TOILET THE JANITOR IS COMING.’ From then on we code-named our periods ‘ducks'”(source).
Poor Old Carrie.
“When I was 14 I entered a karate tournament. My uniform was white, ironed so it was creased in all the right places and it looked snappy af. It was the first time I’d ever been allowed to actually FIGHT in a tournament and I was so chuffed. I had all these fantasies about breaking my opponents knee caps and everybody applauding. That’s actually pretty f–ked up now that I think about it. Anyway, so we get to the venue and I meet my opponents. It’s these two boys a little bit older than me. Not to brag, but 14 year old me is fully lethal in a strictly controlled match. I win the fight with some pretty well-placed roundhouse kicks. But SOME TIME during the fight my period kicks in. I didn’t even notice. When the fight finished, one of the judges came over and told me and my Ma that my uniform was stained. I turn to look and see a pretty decent sized splurge of blood smeared across my bum. Next minute I felt like poor old Carrie cause all the other mums were throwing me tampons and sanitary pads and stuff” (source).
Period or Dying???
“Story is my grandmothers. When she first started her period no one told her that it was going to happen. She said she woke up, saw that she was bleeding and thought this is it, this is the end I’m going to die! She made a will and gave all her stuff to her siblings and friends. Later that day her older sister found her sobbing in a closet. She asked her what was the matter and my grandmother screamed ‘I’m dying! I’m bleeding and it won’t stop!’ Her sister then explained that she was not dying she had simply started her menstrual cycle” (source).
The Hidden Cave Of Magical Wonders.
“My ex-girlfriend and I are lying in bed watching a movie in the dark. We are cuddling and stroking each other. My hand is traveling a little over here and over there, until it finds itself down by the entrance to the hidden cave of magical wonders. I enter the mysterious cave and notice that it’s wet. I think: ‘Gee willikers, she is horny!’ So I keep exploring in the dark, and it just keeps getting wetter. So wet in fact that I tell her: ‘Dearie me, you are really wet!’ I’m expected her to moan back to me something along the lines of: ‘Do me right now!’ Instead she replies in the most disinterested tone: ‘Am I?’ I turn on the lights and pull my hand out from the cave. It’s covered in blood. And so is the bed. I panic and run to the bathroom, while my ex-girlfriend, now sitting in blood, is maniacally laughing at me. I was a bloody fool to think my nimble hands would turn her on” (source).
An Interesting Retail Trip.
“A friend of mine had just started using a mooncup. She was shopping in Top Shop and had encountered some snooty shop assistants that were giving her a look that suggested she shouldn’t be shopping there. She decided she would ignore the snoots and try on the most outrageous and expensive clothes they had. The changing rooms were swathed in white cloth with a white leather sofa. She had removed her underwear so she could try on skirts and dresses sans VPL. After removing one outfit she bent down to pick up another garment and felt a rather odd sensation, followed by a loud slurping noise and warm trickle down her leg. Realizing the vacuum seal on the mooncup must have broken she turned to see a bright red streak up the wall of the changing room and across the leather sofa with a few drips here and there on the clothes. She was fairly mortified as you can imagine. But still being rather miffed with the snooty staff she dressed and marched out of the changing room without saying a word. She could hear the shrieking start just as she walked out of the store” (source).
“I was 16. Invited to a pool party with all the popular kids. While all the popular kids joked around in the pool, I laid myself out on a white lounge chair covered in white towels. Most of the popular kids were guys. They didn’t pay much attention to me until… ‘Omg! You’re bleeding!” I opened my eyes to see who it was that got hurt, only to find myself sitting in a pool of diluted blood. ‘Oh my god.. my butt tattoo! The chlorine must have irritated it!’ Thank god rich people have outdoor showers and more towels than you would usually know what to do with. My fictional tattoo? That’s my little secret” (source).
“Summer camp. We had mandatory ‘lake time’ after lunch everyday. My friend and I were in our cabin putting our suits on. I went to the bathroom and a bright streak of red surfaced on the toilet paper. My first thought was, ‘Is there a cut down there?’ But when I couldn’t find a source for the bleeding, a looming thought came over me. ‘Could this be… my period?’ I didn’t know what to do. I looked around the bathroom and found a pad. I grabbed it, and stuck in to the bottom of my swim suit. Ok, not too noticeable. I ran down to the lake and hopped straight in the water. Since this was my first period, I wasn’t so experienced with the mechanics of pads. Specifically, when put in water, they absorb it, get puffy, and float. So here I was, treading water in the lake while simultaneously being held up by the newfound floating device in my crotch. Womanhood. When it was finally time to get out, I swam to shore and waited until everyone was on land. Upon climbing out, I realized I felt a lot lighter. Hm. Maybe they shrunk when taken out of water. As I stood up, I heard the gasp of my fellow campers, as they started pointing towards the water. There, floating idly, was my pad. Safe to say, I did not return to that camp” (source).
Can Happen To Anyone.
“This is really embarrassing, especially since my moment happened in my forties. My period was always super irregular. I’d get my period only a few times a year, at random times. Usually it was very light and I’d get little warning that it was coming. So my friends and I were day drinking at an outdoor bar. We were sitting on a foam green sofa set. I shift my weight in my seat and suddenly it feels like my insides have fallen out. I knew what happened but I was afraid to look. I turned to my friend, got up and she checked the back of my light blue capris. Total disaster. Then I looked down at the cushion and noticed the spot of blood I left. I was so embarrassed. We were trying to keep the rest of our group unaware of what was going on. So she handed me a sweater to wrap around my waist to wear to the bathroom. I spilt a little beer on the cushion then threw on a napkin ‘oops I spilled my beer’ kind of thing. My friend said she’d clean up my seat while I was in the bathroom. I came out a bit later and my seat was perfectly clean. I was shocked! I asked her ‘how did you get it so clean?’ She said ‘oh I just flipped the cushion over. Not my first trip to this rodeo'” (source).
The Worst Camping Trip.
“I was planning on leaving for a camping trip with my best friend. I got my first period two days before I was supposed to leave, so my mom wasn’t sure it was the best idea for me to go. I wish I had listened. I was under the misconception that periods were only supposed to last three days, so I thought it would be fine. One more day and I could enjoy the rest of my camping trip. If there is one word I would never use to describe that trip, it’s ‘enjoyable.’ Mistake 1: I didn’t pack nearly enough pads. Mistake 2: didn’t pack enough underwear either. I ended up wearing swimsuit bottoms over half that trip. Mistake 3: swimming. I thought it would be just brilliant to wear a pad with my bikini bottoms. Long story short, my pad came detached, floated to the top of the river, and probably had a blast swimming with us. Until we saw it. Everyone knew it was mine. Mistake 4: since I didn’t have enough supplies, I bled a lot, in a lot of places. I bled through my underwear, shorts, pajama pants, dresses, everything. I bled through my freaking sleeping bag. Honestly there are probably a million more mistakes that I made, but I have tried so hard to block it from my memory” (source).
Grandma Is The Real MVP.
“I was 14. White pants. Started early. I think many women can say this has happened to them at least once in their lives. But not only did I start my period in white pants, I showed up to a family function where cousins and other family members I hadn’t seen in years would be there. Yet I was unaware. Bless my sweet mother and grandmother who noticed as soon as they walked up behind me to the front door. Mom drove me to the nearest store for pads and a new pair of pants. I had to awkwardly make up some story to explain to my family why I disappeared as soon as I arrived” (source).
“I am sure many other women can attest to first periods being the most awkward and embarrassing. There is nothing that can really prepare you for when your insides decide to create a murder scene out of your genitals. Also I missed the memo that periods are an all day, all week thing. I was under the impression that periods stopped during sleep. So my friend spent the night and I did not wear any protection to bed (this was my very first night with having a period). The next morning I woke up to the feeling of bloody pajamas. I tried to maneuver myself off the bed without waking my friend, but I failed. To try to hide my embarrassment, I kept the blanket wrapped around me and pulled it with me as I slowly backed out of my room. Looking back, she didn’t fight with keeping the blankets, so I think my attempt at hiding the blood stains failed” (source).
“Brace yourselves. It was with my ex-girlfriend. I asked her if her period is over. She tells me ‘Yeah I think so.’ She told me to follow her to the shower. Lights off. It was so dark that I almost can’t see a thing. A few minutes after kissing, I gave her an oral. At one point, I kinda tasted something rusty, something really familiar. Anyway, I ought to just make it quick because her parents may come home anytime. So we did it right then and there. After our deed, she turned on the lights and to my surprise, my thing was covered with blood. What’s more shocking was when I looked at myself in the mirror I had a few blood stains below my lower lip. D-A-M-N! I rushed to rinse my mouth. We were still washing ourselves when her parents knocked on the door. There was so many things going in my mind and my heart was beating so fast. We almost got caught. I had f_*_ing menstruation blood on my mouth. My ex-girlfriend would always tease me by calling me Count Dracula” (source).