A wedding is one of the most important days of any couple’s lives. It can also be incredibly stressful, as so many elements must work in harmony. The bride and groom both need to contribute, but one bride was taken aback when her husband-to-be proposed that they restrict guests based on how expensive their gifts were likely to be.
The concerned bride-to-be shared her conundrum on Reddit’s r/wedding sub. She explains that her partner’s family is Persian and traditionally very generous. She also clarifies that her fiancé is paying for most of the wedding. The poster explains her partner’s stance on gifts may have come from their engagement party. She claims that most of his family gave them cash gifts. “My side of the family is more middle-class and Westernized,” they wrote. “Aside from a few close friends, no one gave gifts.”
The woman explains that her partner has become more “guarded” since the party. She claims she told him she would like to invite 100 people from her side to the wedding. He allegedly responded, saying they should only invite people likely to bring gifts worth at least $300.
The Woman Told Her Fiancé Something She Regrets
The poster claims that she told her partner his idea “felt really transactional,” something she regrets and only said in the heat of the moment. The fiancé clearly took it to heart, as the woman reveals they have not spoken since. She asks the subreddit, “Is it reasonable for him to feel that way? Or is this a red flag?”
The post garnered over 600 replies, and while many raised eyebrows at the fiancé’s alleged behavior, others point out cultural differences. Many also agree that “transactional” was a fair term even if he didn’t like it. One poster suggests they need to have a talk, saying, “Looks like a cultural/class difference you need to have a lengthy discussion about. In some countries, weddings are more like that. To show off wealth.” Another user says, “This is a cultural values and expectations conflict,” although several other commenters claim they are Persian, and this is not the norm.
One popular comment suggests it could be money-related. “I would think if he expects guests to supplement what he’s putting into the wedding, that maybe you guys should scale back to a level he feels more comfortable spending,” they said.