You should pick your spouse based on their merits alone, but sometimes, their family can be a dealbreaker. These folks share the meanest thing they’ve heard from an in-law.
Rude And Forgotten
“My MIL was a great person after the SOB died. Till then she was a timid mouse. Best day of her life was the day he died.
For example, they were at my summer home. All the floors were white carpet. He spilled a tiny bit of coffee on the counter. I guess she was not fast enough to clean the spot. He threw the cup of coffee on the white rug, stormed out and said to her ‘Now you can clean up that’.
He had a stroke or something. I don’t know. His son never went to see him. The funeral date was changed so my girls would not miss a low level competition. It was more important.
She outlived him by 16 glorious years. She white water rafted and traveled. Her grandchildren adored her. I adored her. At his funeral one person cried a couple of tears. I think they cried for what never was and never would be. I actually cannot think of any time he was even mentioned again.”
With A Mom Like This Who Needs Enemies?
“My husband and sister in law have been overweight/obese since they were kids. His mother has been a size 6 her entire adult life. MIL has always used food to replace affection and shame them. There have been times we visited, when she immediately lectured my husband about his weight in regard to their family history of diabetes, then proceeded to push fried food and sweets on him the rest of the visit.
Last year, tired of struggling to lose weight, my husband decided to get bariatric surgery. MIL made this big show of how she was going to visit and ‘take care of him’ after the surgery. Cool. A week before the surgery, we go to see a comedian near her city, two hours away, and come right home, because my husband is on a pre-op liquid diet, tired, and not up for socializing.
The day before his surgery, she calls him and tells him she’s upset he came to town without seeing her. He calmly explains why we didn’t visit. She then throws in that she’s also upset we didn’t see her for Easter, a month prior, to which my husband points out she wasn’t even in town for Easter.
He goes for surgery and I keep her updated, everything goes well. That Friday, when she’s supposed to visit, she tells him she’s in the ER with strep throat and sends a pic of a hospital admission bracelet with no date on it. He calls but she doesn’t answer. That Sunday, she sends him a pic of her painting her house.
The next week is Mother’s Day, which is a tough day for me because I’m estranged from my own mother and deal with infertility. He calls her to wish her a good day, and she says she’s upset I didn’t call or text her. She actually says, ‘I know ShootHerCleverGirl doesn’t talk to her mom, but she can wish ME a happy mother’s day!’
During this entire time, she stops ‘liking’ our pics on Instagram. She starts texting my husband pics of weight loss surgery patients with loose skin, saying that’s what he’ll look like. My husband is losing weight and posting sweaty progress selfies from the gym on Instagram. She texts him, ‘Do me a favor and stop posting those ugly pictures of yourself.’ My husband stands up for himself, ‘I’m sorry you don’t like the pics, but my wife, my friends, and I are proud of my progress and how far I’ve come.’
The next week, she calls him and said she’s been in a bad mood for the last month because she had a cancer scare. She supposedly had a cancer scare because a psychic told her she was going to get cancer. My husband knew it was all nonsense, but he forgave her, saying, ‘She’ll never apologize to me. She thinks this lame excuse is an apology.’
I never felt strongly either way about MIL before these events, but I emphatically dislike her now. I believe she was triggered by my husband’s choice to improve his life through bariatric surgery, because he was taking away a means for which she was able to control him and make him feel terribly about himself. We are still in contact, but moved over 1000 miles away from her last year for unrelatedly reasons.”
Why On Earth Did She Hide That?
“Oh my god, my ex MIL is a huge piece of work. When I was contemplating divorce, not having to deal with her anymore was very high up the pro column.
I think the worst thing she ever did was hide cancer from us? My ex husband is her only child, and he was in the military at the time so he would visit home twice a year on leave. On our last summer visit, she alluded to lots of doctors appointments and when he would ask what was going on she’d be like ‘oh nothing, nothing you’d care about anyway’ and then bring it up again later and do the same thing. Like she wanted him to ask about it but didn’t want to give in and tell him or something.
So then, six months later we came home for Christmas. We got visit her and she’s bald and has had a double mastectomy. What the heck? It’s not like he was an inattentive son, he didn’t necessarily like her because she’s insane but he spoke on the phone with her at least once nearly every week, usually for upwards of an hour. And she never mentioned any of this. She’d even been going to chemo and never said a word.
She then used that to convince him to take out a loan for an RV for her. He was an E4 in the army, not really rolling in cash. If we didn’t get divorced, our plan when he got out of the military the following year was to buy a house. Not a great time for him to be taking out a huge loan for someone else. I told him that’s a decision you make with your spouse, not your mother, but she guilted him into it by saying ‘You never support me, you never even realized I HAD CANCER’ so guess whose side he took? We are divorced now.”
Those Are Some Choice Words Alright
“On the day our son was born, my husband’s firstborn child, his father’s first biological grandchild, he reached out to his father and called to give him the news.
Their relationship had been troubled for years. The man is not a nice person. He’s an addict and a cheater. He left the family on my husband’s high school graduation day by announcing it to the family as they gathered for the post ceremony celebrations. ‘They are your headache now, kid,’ he scoffed before he walked out the door.
In spite of it all, my husband tried to reconcile with his father around the time of our wedding. We remained cordial but not close for the next few years. When my husband called, as proud as any new father would be, his father’s wife answered the phone. She was kind and friendly and happy to hear the news. Then she tried to call her husband to the phone. ‘Charlie, it’s your son! He’s on the phone for you. ‘
‘I’ve got nothing to say to that prick,’ he said over the phone.
It was clear as day. No way it was misunderstood. She was stunned and speechless. My husband was hurt again by a pitiful excuse of a human being on one of the most important days of his life. He said goodbye and hung up. They have not spoken or seen each other since.
Our son is now 25-years-old.
We have since learned that it is highly possible that his father mistakenly believed my husband encouraged his mother to sue for unpaid and underpaid child support for his younger brother. She made that decision on her own.”
Mother-In-Law Got The Last Word
“I was undergoing IVF treatment as my husband has low sperm count. I, on the other hand was super – fertile and we had high hopes from the fertility treatment.
Soon we were called for transfer of fertilized eggs to my uterus. During this time, my in – laws came to visit us. We had not told them yet about the IVF, but since next day we had to visit the hospital, we confided to my mom-in- law. She was very happy and supportive and insisted that she will also come to the hospital. We both were very much okay with that. She is very helpful person and loves all her sons.
When my father-in-law came to know, he also started showing interest in coming to the hospital. He had lot of health issues – diabetic, heart ailment etc. I tried to tell him if its too much trouble he could always just stay home. The hospital was quite far from our place and there were no decent restaurants in that area. But, being an obnoxious person, he totally used his ‘dad’ card and got ready the next morning to come with us.
My husband was upset, but there was no time to argue, also he never listend to any reasonable request in his whole life. So we all went. Even though we were all tired and hungry, the mood was still upbeat. My mother, myself, and my husband were all in good spirits.
Meanwhile, my father-in-law was as cranky as can be just like we predicted. He complained about being hungry and was not interested in staying so long, so he started getting a foul mood. He started grilling my husband about the IVF procedure.
Which was very embarrassing and emasculating for him. That too right in the restaurant.
The final straw was when we finally made it to a restaurant. My father-in-law asked my husband how much the procedure cost. When my husband replied “$15,000” he became flabbergasted.
‘That’s too much!’ he retorted. ‘Why can’t you be more like me? I got my child for free!’
Oh my god, we were so angry to hear that! I will never forget his face when he said those words.
But my mother-in-law had the perfect retort. ‘And that’s why you don’t respect them!’ she sneered.”
He Can Have His Sons, But Not Hers
“He made two. Both unforgettable and unforgivable.
In the first instance, my older son had contracted epiglottis. It can kill a child within 24 hours (it’s a cousin of meningitis). I’d rushed my 5-year-old to the hospital when he was leaning forward dribbling with a sore throat. He was threaded up on full life support immediately, and after I’d waited to see him come out of surgery, I went home to get his pajamas, wet pack, teddy, and a few books. I rang close family members including parents-in-law to tell them all, and to ask for their prayers, obviously. Because I was rushing and afraid, I simply blurted out the problem on each phone call and then said my goodbyes because I needed to hurry. My FIL said ‘You’re so cold’ as if I didn’t care (he was used to his hysterical wife who raised her hands in a lament or sulked for days over every little thing). I was outraged at his insensitivity. I wanted to get back to the hospital – not have an emotional cry with him.
In the second instance I had left my husband and my FIL asked me and my sons out to lunch with him and his son – my ex. We’d sat down at a table in a very nice restaurant when my FIL told me that he expected me to send my children to him and his wife every Christmas Day from then on. He said it with authority and finished with ‘I want your word on it.’ Naturally I said no and things spiraled downhill quickly from then on. I was sorry that I’d agreed to go to lunch and subject my children to that. They weren’t pawns in a power game – they were my children.
As well as that – he’s had his own two sons every Christmas and I saw how they’d turned out. I certainly wouldn’t have been giving him my sons.”
This Guy Married Into The Wrong Family
“I got married in the winter of ‘97. Things were looking great at first. Newly wedded bliss, new beginnings and just good times ahead.Yet I would sometimes see my wife had something she so badly wanted to get off her chest. I decided not to press the issue. I told her to tell me what was bothering her when she was ready to talk. Normally we try to do things very calmly.
In fact, I hardly ever shout at my wife, I was annoyed with her once and pinched her mildly. She cried so much that I instantly regretted my mistake. And no- not once did I ever hit her. There is never a reason to hit your spouse. I used to get stuff hurled at me, yet I only said a few sad comments about how hurt I felt each time. But I Always end up forgiving her. Does that make me a weakling? Of course not!
Then one day, it all became too much for my wife. She confided in me that her dad was used to abusing her mom. He was at that time, a slave to the bottle and then my mother-in-law would become an object of his frustrations. I felt very upset about this. I told my wife- you better tell me the next time this happens. I won’t stand for it.
Then my break happened. We got the phonecall that her Dad was at it again. In a rage of fury , I jumped into my car and my wife accompanied me. She tried calming me down, by the time we arrived everything was over. My mother-in-law was visibly shaken and badly hurt. The SOB attacked her with a 38 x 38 piece of timber! I was mad. Then I confronted my father-in-law.
‘Who the heck you think you are, you prick? Where is your compassion? She is your wife!’ I shouted.
He was unapologetic, kept saying that he was trying ‘To knock some sense into that stupid woman’s head.’ After telling him what a prick I think he was, I left the room.
He cut the telephone line! Yeah, thats what cowards do, when they know whats coming their way . So I went outside, clambered onto the roof and reconnected the line. When my father-in-law awoke from his stupor, he attempted to cut the line again. Thats when I lost myself. I shoved him so hard, he flew out the room with the sliding door! Then I was on him in an instant . But I did not hit him even. I just kept his head down and started shouting at him for about two very long minutes.
He was angry and felt humiliated. Then he called me outside, trying to settle the score with me. Yet I refused to stoop down to such a low level. We called the police, showed them that he was in violation of his restraining order as well then had him arrested. Well, if you know how South African law works, he only slept in a holding cell for one weekend. My mother-in-law was also not prepared to file criminal charges against him.
Now you might wonder, what all did we achieve then? Let me tell you, suddenly the abuse stopped. Because my father-in-law was never previously taken care of, the way I handled him. Did I receive thanks for what I did? You bet your bottom dollar. I became the rotten apple instead. My mother-in-law was upset that I interfered. WHAT? I mean, she was being ravaged and we were called to the rescue and now this…
The next day, my wife’s uncle approached me. He was also very upset that I restraint his brother! Then he told me something which is true even today. He said- leave those two. They will have their fights, but nothing can separate them. Just let them be. So then I told my wife, don’t call me when your parents have a fight again. Because they are playing games, have always done so and would continue doing so in the future.
I have recently heard that they are getting back together for the umpteenth time.”
“My husband deployed last year. His mother went slightly insane because her husband had gone to Vietnam and left her when they were both very young. She kept pretending that her son (my husband) was her husband. She even went as far as to say that to my husband. She didn’t believe him that he really wasn’t going to a combat zone and that there was little or no chance he would be in that much danger.
The week before he left, she decided to throw him a shindig. She wanted him to dress up in his dress uniform and wanted him to be paraded around all of her friends. She didn’t bother to tell me about it, and I couldn’t take off, so she monopolized the last weekend and pretty much the entire last week before he left.
After he left, she began calling me–just like she did in basic. ‘He called me, did he call you?’ was the very first thing out of mouth on the first message. During basic training she made into a competition to see who got more attention. For the deployment, I couldn’t handle that. I just decided to block her number.
While he was gone, we communicated through Facebook messenger. It was the least expensive and easiest way. His mom refused to use because it was of the devil or something. About half way through, to get back at my husband for not calling her enough, she decided to write him a letter blaming him for absolutely everything that had gone with her life since she had him. This came at a very bad time, because he was getting depressed. She let him know that he was the reason that her life was lousy and that the only thing she felt guilty about was giving him an exorcism when he was 11. She is a very sick women. It killed my husband. He was having a hard time of it anyway, and this just made it harder.
After the deployment, she decided she was going to have another shindig and parade my husband around again. Although my husband wanted to see them, he didn’t want to be paraded around, so at first he said he would go, but in a very mature move on his part, he let his parents know that he wasn’t coming. He let them know that he couldn’t handle being around other people quite yet.
They decided that they were going to come see him if he wouldn’t see them. They showed up pretty much unannounced at or doorstep. I had to work. We went to breakfast. After breakfast they came back to our house, I went to work, and in the four hour period that I was gone, proceeded to destroy whatever glimmer of relationship they had with their son.
I walked in the door, and his mom kind of giggled explaining that they were having a ‘therapy’ session. My husband just got up and said that he had had enough and he was going to play video games. I sat there, with his parents, for two uncomfortable hours trying to think of things to talk about. They finally left and my husband told me what they had talked about.
Basically, his parents let him know that he was the cause of all their problems. They loved him, but if it wasn’t for him, their lives would have been much better. They beat him, but only because he made them. That he hadn’t been such a head strong child at 2, they might have been able to do a better job. The list goes on and on.
That was almost a year ago. His mom calls, but only to let him know again, what a horrible child he was, so he doesn’t talk to them.”
“First time I met her, my husband picked us both up separately to go to lunch. He got me first. I was in the front seat, of course. He runs in to get her. She comes up to the car, opens the front door and stands there looking at me until I got out and got in the back seat. Then we go to a sandwich shop. I told him that I needed to use the restroom and to order me ANYTHING BUT TURKEY. I go, she steps up to counter and orders 2 things, one being a turkey sandwich.
She did have the good graces to sit across from us. When the order is brought to us, she points to me for the turkey sandwich. Then, while we’re eating, she’s giving me the third degree. She turns to him and says, ‘I hope you don’t plan for this to go anywhere with all her baggage. 3 kids. Don’t even consider it.’ (He had 2 and an addict ex- making his life miserable). I looked at him, he looks at me. Mr. Non-confrontational says nothing, so I say, ‘You do know I’m sitting right here and heard that, right?’ She sat in stony silence after that. Still insisted on the front seat going home. He walks her to the door and she harangues him that I am no good for him.
It was Christmas. Mother-in-law was quite wealthy. I got a tealight candle in the paperbag it came in. Merry Christmas.
Then there was telling my family that she only wanted us at her house once a year, for the family Christmas gathering. This was when we picked her up to take her to the zoo with us and we brought lunch with us to share with her. We wanted to eat it there and she made us go through the garage into the kitchen and moaned when we asked to use the bathroom.
Well, she’s been gone for 16 years now. We’ve been married for nearly 28 years. Guess she was wrong.”