Unfortunately, some of us know what it's like to be cheated on and know the outcomes, but what about the other perspective? These stories come from self-proclaimed homewreckers, both unwitting and intentional. Anger burns just as bright as love.
"I hooked up with a roommate/landlady, dumb move off the bat I know because she told me they were in an open relationship. I confirmed with her boyfriend that they were in an open relationship but neither of them told me that roommates were kinda off the table. I went ahead with it because it was the first time a woman showed was into me without me trying. It was a great confidence boost and I hadn't had many before.
We got together a few times before I found out the boyfriend wasn't cool with it, broke it off because I felt lied to, but the damage was done. The entire vibe of the house changed, it was a pretty big house with multiple rooms being rented out. At the start, we had house meals sometimes and game nights, just a generally friendly vibe. Afterward, we all kinda isolated and I apologized to the guy, I didn't know exactly what was going on and I felt terrible about it.
In the end, the great place I had found with awesome people just fell apart and it's probably the biggest regret of my life, everyone moved out and I hope the couple was able to work things out without me being there as a reminder."
"I was with a girl for about five months, quit talking for about six months, and then resumed the relationship. We were never really officially together. She dated someone in between, and they broke up about two to three months before we started hanging out again. Everything was going well, but someone at work was a neighbor of the ex. A coworker saw her car at the ex’s place like three times a week. Yeah, they were still together...
Well, fortunately, the ex worked at my workplace in another department. I straight up went and found him and told him everything and apologized. He had no idea about it either. He thanked me for telling him and we went our separate ways. He actually called me a few weeks later and we talked about it. I told him to not date her so I guess he was still in the post-relationship feelings. Hope he took my advice, but I never found out."
"I hooked up with an older woman once and her husband walked in on us. I immediately left while they were crying and screaming at each other. Found out a couple weeks later that the husband killed himself because of it. To this day I have supreme guilt and slight trust issues. But the person I'm with now makes it better, I love her to the moon and back."
"Lived with a guy for several years that was sort of the home wrecker. Basically, he was shagging a married chick that had two kids. She would hang out at our place a lot. Eventually, roomie caught the feels for her and gave her an ultimatum: to leave her husband and be with him.
Well as you can all guess she did not. So he called her husband and told him about the affair. In the end, she and her husband are still together and my roomie got lost into addiction culminating with me discovering him cooking substances in his room. He later got arrested and spent a few years in TDOC custody.
I no longer speak to either."
"Met a girl and were basically just friendly acquaintances for a while; as I knew she was dating someone. She was friends with someone from work and would come to after-work get-togethers (we worked at a bar so it was usually early morning breakfasts). There was definitely some chemistry but never pursued. Absolutely stunning, but also 10/10 crazy as I found out.
Heard through that mutual friend relationship had ended and asked her out, and we started seeing each other. Four months later she’s essentially living with me since I started working out of town Mon-Fri and my place was nicer with no roommates. So I’d get back on Friday and go for dinner, drinks, concerts, events, almost every night I was in town. It seemed amazing.
Around Christmas, she has a friend visiting from out of town and I take them out for dinner and drinks. After a few, her friend is getting super handsy, trying to sit on my lap, etc... My ‘girlfriend’ isn’t saying anything but obviously getting annoyed; and finally, when her friend straight out grabs my junk she finally says ‘enough’.
Her friend responded with; ‘what, you already have a boyfriend; why can’t I play with too; at least I’m single’. Confusion leads to clarity. Take ‘girlfriend’ aside and she confesses that her boyfriend didn’t break up with her, just moved out of town for school and would be back in the spring and they committed to ‘waiting for each other’. But then she and I started seeing each other and she figured she could just have some fun on the side. Meanwhile, by this point it had been around five months, I’ve paid her tuition for the next semester, she’s basically living in my condo and we had previously had conversations about me getting a house and her actually moving in.
So I tell her I won’t make a scene or anything, but I’d be dropping them off at her place after the bar and she wouldn’t see me again. She starts crying, I feel like a moron despite everything. I go to drop her off and she says she’ll do anything if I don’t dump her. I told her to tell her boyfriend about us and end it, and maybe we can talk. Which she actually did end that relationship, and despite my better judgement (thinking with my nether regions) we stayed together. I’m embarrassed to say I was completely head over heels at this point.
About four months later it’s summertime, and she sends me a Facebook message while I’m out of town working saying she’s gotten a last-minute job offer to work the summer out of town. It’s midweek and I say that I’ll be back Friday and I can go with her and help her get set up over the weekend, and take a few days off the next week. She says she’s already taken the job and leaving that night. I’m obviously put off by this, mention that we’ve had trust issues and this is extremely sudden. She explains it’s in her field and just a summer contact and she can stay with her grandparents in that city, whom I had met previously.
So, about two weeks in I had heard from her once. I realize that I didn’t really trust her, and probably never could. I ended it, when she got back after the summer she tried to get things started again, but in under a month she was living with another dude that she now has four kids with; so I think it was fairly transparent.
Given how much I cared about her and the original betrayal I couldn’t really trust women I was dating after that. The next two relationships I had did not go anywhere due to my own insecurities. Which was super f**ked up since I had been very self confident before that. I was trophy pretty (did bodybuilding shows) was fairly well off (6 figure income) and thought of myself as a fairly decent person.
If my wife hadn’t been super detached when we started dating I probably would have not invested much effort into this relationship as well. It was that she didn’t seem overly interested that kept the relationship going and allowed me to work through some of that."
"I messed around with a girl a handful of times until I found out her boyfriend was in Iraq. She'd left her laptop up when she was in the shower. I'm kind of a piece of trash and decided to snoop around for nudes, found her email and the emails from her boyfriend. Talking about marriage after he gets back.
For me that is forbidden.
I copied down his email address and then wrote him later. Told him everything. Boy was he ticked off.
He dumped her. He and I are going to a football game in November."
"One Christmas season I went to my ex's house because she'd been blowing up my phone and inbox with messages about wanting closure to our breakup. I finally caved, said who cares, and went over. Within about two hours we were back in bed together, even after she'd told me she was in a relationship. I went ahead with it because one, he spent literally half his life at work and when he was home, ignored her in favor of World of Warcraft, and two, I knew how good the coitus was, and three, I couldn't afford to be picky.
A month later we were still talking and decided to get back together for another try. To the surprise of none of you, it failed just as completely as our first breakup. Looking back, my biggest regret was skipping an absolute banger of an NYE party to provide that closure."
"This is long, but you asked for a story and a story I will give you.
I had just received a promotion to CEO of a small company. So, I went out to celebrate with my friends at a fancy bar. This guy was there with his friends and I overheard him declaring a drinking contest. The prize was $10K for the winner.
Obviously, this piqued my interest since it was ridiculous. He bought 50 shots of spirits and I watched the mayhem. Luckily no one died, but he laughed as he watched his friends drink themselves to near-death while being completely sober.
I don't know what about that made me attracted to him, but it did. Granted, he was also tall and handsome. And he dressed very well.
Apparently, he was a regular there as I ended up running into him more and more as I went there. I could lie and say I went there because I enjoyed the drinks, but I went back because I was hoping to see him again. The first night I saw him I was too shy to introduce myself.
After a few weeks, he sees me and starts talking to me. That night I learned he was engaged. That little fact was a letdown, but we had a pleasant conversation nonetheless.
Fast forward, more weeks go by and our conversations continue at the bar. Eventually, we exchange numbers and text pretty innocent friendly stuff. One night he invites me to the casino and I watch him continuously bet 10K-50K per spin on the roulette wheel.
Now, I make six figures a year myself but seeing someone be so reckless was.. thrilling? That was what I felt watching him. It was then I realize, it was how I felt when just being around him. The reckless gambling only amplified it.
He made a 50K bet on one of the tiers. Won and slid the chips over to me. Made another bet, won and also slid it over to me. I told him I didn't want it, but he insisted that he was well ahead and didn't care.
This guy literally handed me my salary in the span of a few minutes.
Fast-forwarding a bit, we became closer friends. We visited the casino a few more times together and I even hung out with him and his wife some. She was nice, pretty, but seemed a bit on the bland side compared to him.
I got an invite to the wedding. I went, of course. The wedding was held at their home. As you can imagine a guy who can so recklessly gamble would have a sprawling estate. He did.
As the reception was underway, I walked out to the gardens behind the celebrations and more or less sulked. It was really stupid of me, but I had some major feelings for this guy.
I guess he saw me and came out to where I was sulking and asked if I was okay. I think I was even crying. When he asked me, I lost it right there. I called him all sorts of names(crazy, I know) and told him how he was an idiot for marrying her.
Unsurprisingly enough, he was confused. That's when I told him I had feelings for him. He was shocked and said he had no idea. It was silent for a bit. Maybe because I was in the moment or maybe it was because I was only focused on him, but his wife ending up coming up behind us.
She asked if everything was okay when she saw me crying. I lied and said it was because I was just so happy for them knowing how much he loved her. She smiled and thanked me. I can still remember her face and the way she smiled at me that day. It was so sincere.
I excused myself, congratulated them, and figured they'd want a private moment alone from all the chaos of the wedding. It worked well enough. I ended up sneaking home quietly before the reception ended.
I guess this is where it all starts. Before I even made it home I get a text from him. He wants to meet me tonight. It was very wrong, but I said yes.
We didn't meet at our usual bar but ended up at some random park. It was very late or really, early in the morning. We talked. A lot. Mostly about my feelings. Before the night/morning was over, he tells me that he as feelings for me too.
My heart was pounded so fast. I honestly thought he brought me there to tell me that we couldn't be friends anymore and the like. Before we parted, he slipped my hand into his and gave it a gentle squeeze.
That was that. We met each other more frequently. I even went to his home to be with him while his wife wasn't there. Once she came home while we were both in the kitchen and he was teaching me how to make ice cream. It was strange, but I think she knew something was up at that moment.
I wanted him to myself and I told him this after two years of being 'the other woman.' He told me he wasn't leaving his wife. We fought, obviously. I yelled and even slapped him. When that all died down, he told me he loved me and that he would leave her.
Well, he didn't. For another year. She found out about us by reading his texts and confronts him. So here we are, two women wanting the same man. I gave him the choice or either me or her. And she gave him the same choice.
Eventually, he does leave her and even gets a divorce. As you can imagine the divorce was not very pleasant. I even overheard her once while he was on the phone saying 'I want the house, you moron.' Referring to their main residence. I can't blame her. She took what she could and ran with it. And he didn't really argue or fight for anything. He just gave her what she wanted.
We end up engaged, but I don't know. Something was different about him. We fought. A lot. He still spoke to his ex-wife. Eventually, he tells me he still loves her and that maybe we got engaged too quickly. We didn't last six months after that.
He went back to his wife. I didn't stop loving him, but I felt less.. addicted. It was easier to move on and away after that.
They got remarried. Last I heard they were still together. I also heard he lost his fortune a couple of times gambling, but somehow always managed to make it back.
Me? I did get married, but am now divorced. I still think about him to this day and I'll always believe he was my soul mate. I just wasn't his."
"Here's the story, and I'll leave it to you guys whether or not I'm in the wrong. I'm too deep into it now for it to matter either way.
I had known my best friend for about a decade when this all went down. We were about as close as friends can be, even though we lived in different states. Talked to each other almost daily to check in, knew pretty much everything there was to know about each other. She had been with the same boyfriend for about five of those years.
I was supportive of their relationship for a while, as we always had been with each other's romantic trysts. But the last two years had seen a number of giant red flags pointing to evidence of abuse. She eventually admitted it to me but begged me not to get involved. I decided to anyway after she attempted suicide.
I moved out to her state under other pretenses (I had been planning on going back to school anyway, I just made sure it was near where she lived). She and I hadn't spent much time in person together for a number of years, so there was a lot of making up for a lost time. Now that I was closer, I saw all kinds of evidence of gaslighting, verbal, and physical abuse. They also ostensibly had an 'open' relationship, which was basically just a way to justify his cheating on her.
When a third party mentioned that he seemed to take part in outside affairs way more than she did, he jokingly started encouraging me to sleep with her. This continued for another month or two, with him constantly pushing me to sleep with her so everyone would get off his back. Long story short, we did end up in bed together. And then we continued to do it for the next week, whenever we had the chance. A lot of deeply buried feelings came out during this, and we realized we had been in love with each other for a long time.
So she dumped him. We had to flee the state pretty soon after. The ex was a member of the Proud Boys (yes, the ones who have featured so prominently in recent weeks), and he had rallied his bigoted buddies to kill us. I'm a Jew anyway, so they just needed an excuse.
We've been married for almost eight years now. Our son just turned five."
"We were in high school at the time, working in a local restaurant. She had a thing with one of the cooks (who was in his 30's), who had a serious, long term GFf that he claimed he was planning on leaving. It went on for a while and only a few of us knew. Then in the middle of the night, he parks in front of my friend's house and calls her, wasted. She goes out and sits in his car with him for a few hours until he sobers up. Around 5 am, she notices that this same car is going up and down the street and tells him he better go. She sneaks back in and watches him drive off, followed by the circling car.
Half an hour goes by and her parents get a call - it's the police. Apparently, it was a cop neighbor who thought it was suspicious that a strange car was parked on his street. He followed the cook to the main road then pulled him over. When he questioned what he was doing parked on the street, the cook told the cop he was visiting his GF. The cop apparently didn't see my friend leave his car and called her parents to ask if she was dating this guy from her work. My friend, who's from a very strict, very religious family had to deny it, and in a panic the cook speeds off, triggering a police chase that ends with him crashing his car. He lived but was arrested and fired, and my friend's parents forced her to quit since they thought she was being stalked.
In the end, his GF figured it out (wasn't the first time) and broke up with him. He had previous charges and lost his license, then filed a complaint against the cop for not minding his own business (he was also out of his jurisdiction). My friend was not punished but gave up dating for a couple of years. None of us eat there anymore."
"She was my ex but was living with an abusive man suffering from PTSD. She had a one-year-old child.
She told me she was going to leave him, she said she just didn't have the strength to do it. She begged me to sleep with her, attempted to seduce me multiple times while he was home.
It's a strange feeling to be sitting on their couch, drinking the Miller that he purchased, having his girlfriend just pulling her jugs out, and trying to seduce me. So I stop hanging out with them, got busy, and didn't see them for three months.
Her son was having a birthday party and she invited me to join. Did I figure group activity no problem right? I brought a female friend of mine with who had a child about the same age... they realize they're both bi, they both know they like sleeping with me, and after he goes to sleep they decide that the three of us need to have a threesome. I did manage to say no, I didn't want to do it in his house.
A week later the three of us met in the hotel room. Before we started I even looked at her and I asked if this was really something she wanted to do and that she wouldn't regret this. A few months later I get a call from him, he told me that he knew what had happened. I of course didn't try and explain myself, I felt kind of bad about it.
She never did leave him, I believe they have two kids together now and he still beats her."
"It definitely had a lot more impact than I expected. She was married and her husband found out about our few little flings. He was too upset with her to even try to reach out to me. At first, I didn't care because I was young. But later down the line, I started to realize how such a small thing really destroyed the trust that held a relationship between two people together. Even though it was 'technically' not my fault, I couldn't help but think I played a part in destroying a family. I willingly disregarded how my actions may lead to severe consequences such as changing someone's life for the worst. And it kind of haunts me a little to this day. Because what if my wife did something like that."
"So, looking back on this, I'm not proud of this. My only excuse is that in an abusive friendship at the time and didn't have much of a sense of self-confidence or self-worth.
Back in High School, there was a girl who had a crush on me. I was pining for a different girl and didn't really notice. Nothing really happened.
A few years later, in my early 20s, we got in contact and started chatting on MSN messenger. We meet up one night, and one thing leads to another, and we end up making out with some fondling.
She had a fiance at this time. I knew.
We make plans to hang out the next day. We watch a movie, and right after we slept together. That was actually my first time.
After that nothing happened and we eventually lost contact with each other. Last I heard she was now married to the guy and had a kid with him.
Looking back on it, I know it was wrong. But at the time... it was a big confidence booster that I needed. It felt really good to know that a girl wanted to sleep with me enough to risk her relationship to do so. I'm definitely not proud of feeling that way, but it's the truth of what I felt.
And while some people might be angry with this, I can't say that even today, I regret it. I wouldn't do it today, even if I was single, but I can't say I regret it. It's completely selfish, but I was in a bad place at the time, and it was what I needed."
"In the past, I was an idiot. I would often attract married women, often they weren't getting attention at home. I'm a sucker for a pretty lady with a nice smile. I would flirt, be their friend, and wait for that awkward I-wanna-kiss-you moment. After that, it was a casual relationship with rules and it would go on as long as they felt comfortable. I almost got caught once when a gal's fiancee came home at lunch, the only reason I got with it was this lady happened to be my gym partner and he didn't think it was weird at all that his girl's female gym partner was showering while his lady was napping at lunch.
I'm not sure I feel bad. Only once did a relationship tank while I was involved, but honestly if it hadn't been me, it would have been someone else. That being said, treat your wife or girlfriend well and communicate. It's so easy to get lost in the things in our lives and lose focus on who we live our life for. I assure no one goes out looking to mess around, I just tell them their eyes are super pretty and they notice, I'm not lying."
"In college, a female friend started being extra flirty with me, I remember we rode together on the bus and she would play footsie with me, I wasn't initially attracted to her and felt sort of violated sometimes by her touching me now and again. Then I started falling in love with her, and she talked about her boyfriend all the time, but still showed interest in me. One day well riding home she was poking at my hand and I grabbed her hand and held onto it for a bit, then she slid her hand into mine and we held hands the whole way home.
We ended up meeting at a park and making out, and we almost hooked up but I couldn't keep it up.
I allowed this to happen because I never had luck with women, had never even been kissed, and a hopeless romantic, and I didn't know the guy, in fact, I was completely jealous of him, and I figured if it wasn't me it'd be some other dude. I don't think he knows what we did, they are still going to get married soon. I actually have pictures of her that if I showed him it'd end the relationship."
"I was the other man once, I just didn't know. There were signs looking back, but it was fairly casual so it never occurred to me I might be a homewrecker. It was her boyfriend from back home, they'd been long distance for about a year at this point. I found all of this out because I ran into them in a bar. I stopped by to say hi, gave her a hug, and she gave me the smile with the eyes that said 'OH NO.'
Jessica: 'This is my boyfriend, Jared.'
Me: 'Oh nice to meet you, Jared. Jessica never mentioned you, how long have you been together?'
Jessica: 'Almost a year. How do you two know each other?'
Me: 'Oh, we used to fool around.'
I stayed long enough for him to put together that had to have occurred within the time they were dating and walked away. Never heard from her again."