Friendship doesn't always mean forever. Sometimes friends fall apart over romantic entanglements, financial dealings gone wrong, and sometimes, things just fall apart in ways that could never have been predicted. While it's sad when friendships lose their luster, it's often a chance to get rid of the toxic or negative presence in life.
For various reasons, these people's friendships became more of a burden than a blessing and they had to cut them off. They shared their stories on Reddit and we gathered the most compelling stories here. Content has been edited for clarity.
"She stabbed me in the back during my divorce. She had gotten fairly close to my now ex husband while we were together, so when he asked for the split, I told her I didn't want to make her choose sides but, until things were settled, I either needed her to stop talking to him or stop talking to me, because things were going to get messy. I made clear that if she chose him I'd still be her friend when all was said and done. She swore loyalty to me, raved about how much she loved me and disapproved of how he treated me. It didn't take long for me to find out she was telling him everything I discussed with her in confidence. She didn't know I found out, so I fed her a bunch of bull to throw him off. I tried to get her to come clean by telling her 'how much I trusted her and couldn't imagine not having her, but she continued to lie. I told her I knew what she was doing, told her to buzz off and never speak to me again. About a year later, my ex hubby told me she was trying to get with him... She was married with two kids at the time.
Sadly, she is is married. I feel bad for her husband, he was always such a nice guy. They have another kid now, from what I hear through the grapevine she's cheated on him before."
"She picked up my mother's urn and asked if we could open it to look at the ashes inside. She then held it up to her outfit and said it was so cute and matched her outfit.
Someone who doesn't have any tact with something like that a week after my mother dies has no place in my life. She also tried to tell me that I wasn't being there for her because I fell into a deep depression (being 28 and your mom dies and YOU have to make the decisions on what to do with her body is hard). She tried to say, 'But I'M depressed because my boyfriend doesn't call me as much in the morning anymore.'"
"I was best friends with a guy, let's call him Chris, for many years. Chris was always the life of the party, everyone loved him. Just an overall fun, funny dude, with a good head on his shoulders, but he had very low self-confidence.
I was his best friend for years. We would talk everyday, hangout all the time, workout together, etc. Eventually, we all went to college, and Chris and I stayed close friends, but I started hanging out a bit more with a girl, let's call her Maria. Maria was cool, and friendly with Chris. All was well, until Maria started inviting her friend 'Ashley' along. Ashley was nasty, rude, and well...evil. She treated her friends like absolute trash. I couldn't stand hanging out with her.
But Chris liked her. I think it was just because she paid special attention to him and because he had such low self-esteem, he felt that this is what he deserved, and it was the best that he could do. They eventually dated and we all stayed in touch, until one night they broke up and he called me in tears.
He explained that he got her a necklace. He went out of his way to pick out something that he thought that she would like and she threw it back at him and said to return in. I thought that this was so horribly mean, so I told him, 'Look, man, I know you think that this girl is right for you, but she's not, and you will realize that when someone better comes along and treats you like a decent human. It was thoughtful of you to do that for her, and she didn't even appreciate the thought, that's horrible.' He told me I was right, thanked me, and we made plans to hang out.
Then they got back together a few days later and I literally never heard from him again. I tried to text him, call him, etc. but with no reply. Every year for three years, I would text him on his birthday and Christmas just to wish him well, but he never replied. It's sad, but I think he told Ashley about what I said and, her being completely controlling and manipulative, she forbade him from seeing me.
My cousin just messaged me the other day that he ran into him and that his number is the same that it has always been. Also, he's married to Ashley now. I always still thinking about texting him and wishing him well, but I always decide against it. I would never make him choose me over his girlfriend, and I just feel bad that he threw away years of a friendship for this very unpleasant person."
"If a guy ever liked me over her, she would get him alone and make up nasty things about me to turn them off of me. It took me a few times of interested guys just ghosting me suddenly to realize what was happening. She was super jealous of any other girls getting attention and used to whine a lot, so it didn’t surprise me. It’s annoying now to see her preach about women supporting women online, though."
"I met him the first day of school when I didn't know anybody, so I made friends with the random guy sitting next to me. It was a big mistake.
He was kind of annoying, but he was funny at times, so I stuck around.
Thing is, I now realize that he was manipulative as heck. He would tell me all sorts of stuff about other students, making them seem like enemies or something. He would actively try to stop me from hanging with other people by saying that they were laughing at me, not with me, or that they did illegal stuff or whatever.
He lived in another nearby town. His parents always ignored him and usually just dumped him over by my house most afternoons, even when I just wanted some peace and quiet.
School started at 8, but his parents would drop him at school an hour early for some reason. Since he'd get bored and he knew I lived just 10 minutes away from school, he'd show up and start ringing the doorbell at 7:10, when I was just waking up and most of my family was still asleep. I would often eat my breakfast while he stood around, awkwardly staring, and moving around. My parents got sick of him waking us up by ringing the doorbell and gave him keys. This was a bad idea, as you'll soon see.
He liked rooting through closets and drawers at my house, not just in my room, but in everyone's rooms. He'd pull out random objects and ask: 'What's this? What does this do?' He'd invite friends to MY house, if that makes any sense. And then HE'd give them the tour of the house.
He often complained about how I had a pool in my house but never used it. I'm hydrophobic, I can't really swim, but he would still insist, to the point of throwing me in the pool fully clothed at one point.
Heck, and if that was bad, here comes the moment where we split apart forever: One summer, while me and my family were visiting my grandparents in the USA, he used his keys to get into my house and threw a party. It was mostly his sister's friends since he barely had any of his own, but he still did it.
And worst of all, when our cleaning lady saw the mess, he denied everything. He said he only went to the house, alone, because he had fallen and hit his balls.' He later admitted his sister was also present. When we gave him proof of the party, like the neighbors' complaints, he admitted it, but said it was just a few people, and they only stayed in the patio and pool area. When I found an Instagram pic of two girls (who I didn't know) hooking up in my bed, he only slightly altered his story.
I've since blocked him on every social media ever. He changed schools so I never had to deal with him again. I heard from a guy I know that he was now in the 'Cani' gang, the group that he had insulted the most in the past.
I happened to see him again just by chance, two years later. He claimed that he had changed.
But he still wouldn't admit what happened at the party."
"She went absolutely crazy and tried to ruin my sister’s wedding. We were best friends since freshman year of high school, and then she got wasted at my sister’s wedding and started screaming at a ton of the guests.
She was actually a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding because she was such a close family friend. I had never seen this side to her before because she had always lied to me and said she had never drank before and even lied that she wasn't wasted that night (despite me smelling it on her breath and her complete change of voice/personality).
Long story short, my brother had a big crush on her and she knew about it. She rejected him and he accepted it, but she knew he still had feelings for her. At the after party, just to make my brother jealous, she was purposely all over a guy she had met before the reception. My brother and I even walked in on her with the guy. It was clear she was only doing this to egg on my brother, but we were the bigger people and moved passed it.
When we told her it was time to go, she burst into tears saying she wanted to stay. My brother took her hand to say, 'Hey, we really have to get you back for your exam,' she pounded on the windows of the cabin, shouting, 'HELP! He’s trying to hurt me!! Somebody help me!' He immediately let go and she started spreading lies that he was trying to beat her up. The other guests at the party saw what happened and knew she was wasted and lying.
My brother and I were the only sober ones there and she needed us to drive her to the airport at 2:30 am so she could get back home to take her final for her summer class. She refused to get in a car with us because she thought my brother was annoying and said she’d drive herself (again, hammered as heck) or somebody else at the wedding (all strangers to her) would drive her the two hours to the airport (again, everyone ELSE was hammered as well). Uber was not an option because the wedding was in an area with no Ubers available, so we were her only safe ride.
When we called her parents saying she wasn’t going to make the flight, they threatened us saying we 'better get her on that plane.' We eventually got her on the plane by waking my own parents up at 2:30 am.
She called me the next day and told me she’d never forgive me for not letting her drive herself. She said, 'If I am wasted and want to drive myself, let me. I am my own person, you can’t control me.' I told her I’d never let that happen and she said, 'Well, until you see my side, we can’t be friends. I guess this is goodbye.' I’ve never cried so hard in my life. To this day, I know I did the right thing, but it sucks to have lost a friend I’ve been so close to for four years.
In the phone call I had with her, I also told her that I didn’t appreciate the way she treated my brother. She said that she couldn’t stand to be friends unless I took her side and hated my brother. I said family will always come first.
She blocked my entire family on all social media that day, including my sister who did absolutely nothing but get married that day. She hasn’t spoken to my sister since."
"She accused me of groping her. She used the fact that I’m attracted to girls to spread nasty rumors about it. No one stuck by my side until I brought it up to the counsellor and then threatened to bring her to the police for defamation. It was a huge thing and people were talking about it. She ended up moving schools. Her life at home was extremely sad, though, and she was the kind of person who lives off people’s validation. She was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, too, and the school was aware of it. I know her parents were physically and emotionally abusive (she doesn’t live with them anymore, I think), but I certainly did not enjoy being branded as a villain. At the time, I thought I was cruel for dragging her through this. She was a lonely girl and people didn’t like her much because of her weird fixation on anime and just in general how weird she is. However, now I think I made the right decision because she never apologized to me, and I don’t think she cares about me much. She just likes the attention that comes with the friendship.
Looking back, I was horrified. My scholarship would have been revoked and my life could have been ruined. I could not imagine what would happen if I had been a boy. It makes me feel extremely sad because now when I see an accusation, there is always a shadow of doubt in my mind about the victim’s credibility, and I feel so disgusted with myself because of it. Of course you are supposed to take the victim’s side. I was so angry at her for dragging me down the pit, but most of all I pity her for having to resolve to that. Our friendship already turned sour before the accusation happened because I started hanging out with the people in my class more often and did not 'pay attention' to her. It was so messed up and I should have seen the red flag, but I never thought she would have the audacity to pull stunt like this.
In a way, I cared a lot about her because she was truly one of the saddest person I know. I was angry at her but most of all I pity her. She was abused as a child and her parents are routinely abusive. My home life was abusive as well (imagine strict and religious Catholic Asian parents), and it was one of the thing that bond me and her together. I was just so happy to know that there was someone out there who can empathize with my problems and I let her in, which I had never done before, and she exploited it. I should have seen all the red flags, but I was young and naive. I felt sorry for her, more sorry than angry, because last time I heard she dropped out of school and ran away from home. Meanwhile I’m doing great with my life, so I guess karma does have the last laugh?"
"Personally, I think it was (and still is) my fault.
I was really good friends with this girl for around four years. We did everything together - go to the movies, dine out, chill at each others' house - the usual best buds stuff.
I still don't know how, but somehow, someday, I started developing some feelings for her. Out of fear that my confession would disrupt the friendship, I decided to stay mum. Once, when we were out drinking, we were doing the regular chit-chat when I just...told her.
She just looked at me for a moment and became silent throughout the night. I knew I'd blown it.
So I decided to give her space. I temporarily ceased communication with her. After a week or so, she texted me and told me that she thought about it for a long time and that she doesn't feel the same way.
The now me would have completely understood, but I was an egoistic dirtbag back then. I felt hurt, but I didn't spontaneously retaliate - I decided to let the friendship decay away.
As the days went by, I gradually started decreasing contact with her. It went from one-worded text replies to complete ghosting. I felt stupid, but it was my pride at stake, after all.
Eventually, we ceased talking. I miss her like crazy, but I know I've made the friendship irreparable. Every time 'Wish you were here' plays, I remember her and start crying.
I called her up one day and apologized for all that I had done. She said she was happy I came around again. Things are definitely not the same, but I cleared my conscience. I apologized and shared a light conversation, catching up briefly. After that, nothing. As I said before, I'm happy that I cleared my conscience and owned up for being a scumbag.
For people who are doing what I did - PLEASE don't. It's not worth it; trust me."
"We were friends for 17 years or so, since the first grade. We did virtually everything together and to be blunt, his household was chaotic. His mom was borderline psychotic. So he basically grew up in my house and he was essentially my little brother.
Growing up, I always heard from others how much of a dirtbag he was or how he was just as much of a psychopath as his family or never trust his family's name you know, the works. Essentially, everyone said he was lower than filth, yet I always defended him because he did have all the qualities to be a good person. Possibly even a great one. He was charismatic and excelled academically and probably could've gone to any college he wanted, I thought.
One day, he decided he needed to better himself and I was proud of him. He had decided to sign up for the Marines. Boy, what an idiotic mistake that was to think. Skip two years and he's home, discharged. With nowhere to go home to, I offered him my own.We had kept in contact in his two years overseas in Okinawa on a near weekly basis and I know all he did was get wasted, assault the local women, and play video games.
But what made me finally snap was this– so much repressed rage and anger that had been cumulating for 17 years all came out all at once. The marines didn't fix his behavior, they enabled it. He was already narcissistic, now he was the second coming of Jesus. He became the single most pretentious individual imaginable. He would go up to random individuals and say, 'Hi, my name is X, veteran marine. And you're welcome for your freedom.' I kid you not, he did this at every single outing. If someone was wearing anything military, like camo, he would walk up to them and berate them for not 'dressing to regulation' or being fake veterans or the such. It was so embarrassing by association. To top it off he became a addicted, weed obsessed, over-drinker whose only desire in life was to get high. His entire motto now is where can he get weed. So now you have this narcissistic patronizing always high off his tail marine. To top it off, he's always cheated in every relationship he's ever been in and he was bragging about all his little illegitimate kids he probably has in Japan. He was with someone at the time, too. It was insufferable.
As mentioned earlier, he was living in my house now. Eating my food. I got him into college helped him scope out jobs, I paid his gas for his Mustang his girlfriend bought him. She had money from her father's life insurance claim and he tried to scam her into putting it into a joint account with him. That was the only reason he was interested in her. Besides that point, though, one day the thing that made me finally snap was he looked me dead in the eyes and said, 'No offense, but I figured you would be further in your life by now.'
Now I'm not some millionaire or anything like that. I was 23 with a house, two degrees, a fantastic and loving girlfriend, pets I loved, any food I wanted and a job I enjoyed, plus I could afford all of my hobbies. I felt I was in a pretty darn good spot for my age. And all of it was out of pocket from working 2-3 jobs for six years straight. This prick who I always made excuses for, who insulted my girlfriend daily, my life daily; and who was an unemployed, leeching 'veteran' had just told me this. I snapped and I realized no. No, I am DONE enabling this awful, horrible, vile, and ungrateful individual who has exploited my kindness my entire life. He was never my brother, just some worthless parasite and I finally said enough was enough and I kicked him out. I don't know why I waited so long or why I ignored every last person on earth who told me how he was so long. Maybe I ignored it because he never addressed me the same way before as he did others or maybe I was desperate for a friend. But enough was enough.
Now, he's in a relationship with another girl who has no idea of his history. He fakes PTSD daily for attention and hand outs and claims to have fought on the front lines (reminder, he was stationed in Okinawa for all two years) and he uses this fake PTSD to get a green card for medical weed, which he sells on the side. He's also worn his marine blues to school and charity events to ask for veteran donations, which he pockets. It's highly illegal but no one is going to question a marine. Everyone back home also believes his stories of how much of a war hero he is and how I'm a monster now for kicking him out. Because he was a reformed monster and now a veteran marine who fought for us all. He is nothing but stolen valor and dunning Kruger syndrome incarnate. I also decided to look into his discharge. It appears he's had several allegations of assault on local women and some even claims that he violated and the marines discharged him before it became a big ordeal and shipped him back overseas. So he probably wasn't lying about all his theoretical kids.
This was very long and I left out a lot of the extremely terrible stuff he's done over the years. It's the kind of stuff that would make you vomit in disgust."
"I was best friends with a girl for many years. It was basically a sappy 'girls' night' movie type thing. We shared clothes, had sleepovers, got ready for parties together, texted all the time. People thought we were sisters. Also this is into our late 20s, not grade school.
I was dating a guy that I was absolutely nuts about. Long story short, he went from amazing and charming to condescending and mean. I was absolutely heartbroken about it and confided in my best friend, of course. I detailed to her all the reasons why it didn't work out and she watched sad movies and ate ice cream with me.
Suddenly, my best friend was less and less available. I'd ask what she was up to and get weird strained answers. I asked her on several occasions if she was seeing my ex (she'd expressed an interest before we dated), and she said no.
This went on for several weeks until I got a pocket dial from her on my voicemail. It was literally her flirting with my ex and talking about all the reasons we broke up and why that's not a problem for her.
I texted her to ask what she was up to, she lied, so I made an audio file of the voicemail to send to her and never heard from her again."
"Me and my best friend worked together at a restaurant. My girlfriend also worked there with us. They had known each other since grade school, I think. We would all hang out, the four of us (including his girlfriend who he had been dating for several years), and had a lot of good times.
Well, one day me and my girlfriend got into an argument and kind of split up. He broke up with his girlfriend like within a couple days. Me and my girlfriend got back together, no big deal stuff happens when you're young and stupid. He ended up getting back with his girlfriend as well. I didn't think anything of it.
Fast forward about six months. Me and my girlfriend get in another argument. Guess who decides to break up with his girlfriend and try and get with mine? Yep, you bet my best friend. She ended up sleeping with him behind my back and, of course, I got the heck out of that relationship. I cared about her a lot but I couldn't handle that cram.
The crappiest thing to me was that he basically kept his ex-girlfriend around while he waited for an opportunity to get with mine. Plus, to top it off, he betrayed me when I thought we were good friends. Whatever. They got married, I think they have a rough relationship sometimes, but I wish them the best. I've only talked to him a couple times in the last six years."
"My best friend was a Jehovah’s Witness. She was trapped in a horrible abusive situation, but we stuck together all through our teen years, which was not easy because she wasn’t supposed to be friends with people outside the cult. Her parents wouldn’t let her attend university as she’d planned and next I heard she was married off to some Witness guy her non-JW friends had never heard of. She never even mentioned the wedding to us.
After a couple of distant years, she contacted me again and we still stayed in touch, secretly. Her marriage went horribly wrong and she was very, very not well mentally. I tried to help her to leave and she got so close... but couldn’t ultimately do it because she was scared of losing her kids, and basically had been cut off from any sort of life outside the group and didn’t think she’d make it on her own.
We still stayed friends.
Last year, I heard she’d pulled her 14-year-old daughter out of school. Girls don’t need higher education. Then it’s her son. Boys only need education to become ministers or something.
She’s doing the exact same thing her parents did to her. She’s all chummy with the group again, all is forgiven.
But I can’t be friends with her any more. After all she went through she’s doing it to her kids and leaving them exposed to the same abuse she dealt with. I give up. This has been going on since we were teenagers and we’re in our forties now. They’ve got her. I’d like to let her daughter know that if she ever wants to leave, I’d help her, but it seems impossible."
"It's a long story, but the short version is 'He stopped seeing me as a friend and started seeing me as something that should be entertaining him at a whim, and stopped giving a darn about me as a human being.' I met this guy when I was in my early 20's and had just dropped out of college. Now, we were both two huge nerds. He got me into tabletop RPGs, I got him into Firefly. Due to distance, we'd hang out online a lot, mostly at night. We'd riff bad movies, play games, start up a few low-person tabletop runs. At first, it was pretty fun. Then after about a year, I lost my job and my father died. I got real withdrawn and miserable, and he started getting annoyed that I wasn't 'fun' any more.
A friend intervened and because I didn't (and still don't) have the confidence of an earthworm, I ended up making an effort to pull myself back up and be 'fun' again. But it'd changed. Now this was real gradual, but less and less would we do what I wanted, instead it had to be what he wanted. He found a new free MMO? We had to play it. All we watched and riffed were horror movies. I'm not a huge fan, but I tried to make it work. Our short tabletop games ended when he lost interest. Often because he found yet another MMO he wanted to drag me into. I, for the record, hate MMO's.
I began to realize we had less and less in common over time. I wanted to and was trying to get a job; he was happy leeching off his grandparents and complained that I shouldn't get a job because 'there weren't any anyway.' I'd try to mention a book or something to him, and he'd talk about how they were boring and pointless. Then SOMEHOW he gets a girlfriend. I'd gotten a job by now. He gets a girlfriend and suddenly he can't chat with anyone from 6 pm to 12 am. He must chat with her. No one else can even communicate with him, not even in text. He expected- not wanted, not asked- flat out expected- that I and a few others would just rearrange our schedules to be online in the day instead of the night. Jobs and sleep and such? Forget it, that's when we 'needed' to be on.
I noped out. Sayonara, adios, adieu.
A year later, he comes back to make peace. Swears he's changed, et cetera. We start to patch things up, start a new tabletop game with me and another friend of his. Set a weekly date and everything. He misses the first session, and I text him to ask if he's okay or whatever. 'Oh, I planned to go to my girlfriend's place for three weeks. I'll be back whenever.'
'What about the game, man?'
'You guys can wait for me.' He's was supposed to be running the game. I deleted his number and basically walked away."