Good friends can make the hard days easy. Let these stories serve as a reminder to hold on tightly to those you care about!
“‘I met someone and she opened my eyes,’ said my husband three weeks after our son was born. I’m still bleeding from that stab wound”
This Was His Time
“He survived four years of boarding school as a barely closeted gay kid. The bullies were merciless to him. He came out after graduation, and I was never prouder of anyone. Then one day in the summer after our sophomore year of college, my mom called. He’d fallen asleep at the wheel of his car, and just like that this brave friend was gone. I can still remember my first thought on that call: ‘How can the world let that kind of perseverance go to waste?’ I miss him”
They Met In Middle School
“‘Well… I’m off to go save the free world.’
I thought it was a great way to say ‘see you later,’ at the time.
It started when I moved in middle school to a tiny, podunk town in the middle of nowhere (7,000 people). I knew no one. I was starting at the middle school, 7th grade.
Within the first week, he was picking on me. Just minor things. I packed a cold lunch every day in a blue, insulated bag. He would often steal it and taunt me. I had learned to not confront people, as they usually tired of it and grew bored, and just gave up.
On the third day, I think he grew tired of my lack of response, and came toward me. He attempted to shove me in the chest. I deflected his shove, similar to the ‘wax on, wax off’ from Karate Kid. First shove deflected, upsets him. Second shove deflected the other way, upsets even more. Third shove, I pop him in the chest.
He was pissed now, nearly in a rage. He threw a wild punch that I could see coming. I countered to his outside, using his momentum and my foot to trip him, while holding on to his arm. He went to the ground, my knee was in his back. It actually dislocated his shoulder. I spoke calmly to him: ‘Are you done?’
Somehow, after that event, we became friends. He was a bit of a troublemaker and had been in trouble with police already. I like to think my influence turned him away from trouble.
He showed a great aptitude for fixing things at a young age. By the time we were sophomores in high school, he was able to fix many cars. Since we lived in a small town, he would scour the area for cheap, broken cars, fix them up, and attempt to sell them in the bigger cities.
Senior year, I’ve decided I wanted to pursue something related to math, he wasn’t sure what to do. He had his talent for being a mechanic, but that has little to no future in a small town. He didn’t really want to do school, either.
‘You could always do that Army GI thing – serve as a mechanic and get set up with some skills.’
I wish I had never suggested that…
He agreed. He met the recruiter and went through basic. His skills meant he was going to be some 91 or 94 some-letter-or-other combat mechanic. He was going to be deployed to Afghanistan.
I remember his last words to me, as I posted above: ‘Well I’m off to go save the free world.’
A few short months later, I heard the news; IED got his vehicle.
I was devastated. He had turned his life around and was going to make something of it – I just knew it.
I felt like it was my fault. I had suggested it. If only I encouraged him to go to a tech school, go after advanced machinery, be an airplane mechanic, anything but the military, I might still have my best buddy around.
It’s been well over 10 years now
-Still miss him”
A Deep Betrayl
“My best friend, my fiancée. We were together six years, lived together most of it. Lived apart for the last because we went to school in cities two hours apart. We had an argument the day after Thanksgiving so I made a surprise drive to visit her that night. I caught her red handed cheating on me. She swore up and down it was a misunderstanding, and since I loved her, I believed every word.
We spoke briefly for the next month because of finals, but afterward, she invited me over. I drove two hours to see her, and when I get there the cops show up minutes later and hand me a restraining order. I found out, months later why she did: she didn’t want me to find out she was already getting married to the guy she was cheating on me with- Messed me up for years”
“Well, I don’t know if I lost her per se…
But she decided to vanish and commit pseudosuicide. Well, not literally.
She closed her business. She disconnected all her phones. She deleted all her social media sites. She moved. Then vanished.
No one knows where she is.
Personally, I think she went to Hawaii to live on a beach and be carefree. Or she’s working on creating a new identity to completely rebrand herself. In my opinion, she’s the smartest person I know, so she’s probably doing the latter.
I can only hope one day she’ll come out of hiding and we’ll be best friends again, but who knows when that day will be”
“Her name was Kara. We were soulmates and after chasing her for 5 years, we were finally beginning a new life together.
The worst day of my life was March 4th, 2013. It started out as a normal day. I woke up early and ran across the street to the Coffee Bean. Her favorite was a Hazelnut Mocha and a bagel, extra cream cheese. She had difficulty sleeping as of late. She would usually be asleep when I left. This was the case on this day as well, so I left the treats on the table and went to work.
When I was at work, I purchased two tickets to Muse, her absolute favorite band in the world. She had no idea they were going to be playing in just a few weeks time. I was going to surprise her with an early birthday present that evening. A few hours passed and she texted me saying thanks.
I told her I just bought a box of stemless wine glasses online, she was excited. It was towards the end of the day she texted me asking when I would be home. I told her I would be off in thirty minutes.
I asked her what was wrong.
She said her tongue was swelling up and she was scared. I begged her to call 911, but she refused saying she thought she could make it, until I rushed home. I demanded she go wait in the main lobby of the apartment building, in case she needed help. She complied.
To describe my driving home, I would classify it as with utter conviction and with wanton disregard for any traffic laws. I picked her up and drove to the hospital. She could hardly talk, her tongue was badly swollen. I was scared but probably appeared angry and frustrated. She asked me, ‘Are you mad because you are scared?’ I said, ‘I don’t know.’
I grabbed her hand and held it the entire way.
I checked her into the ER. I left her some money for a cab, in case she was released at night. I was driving home and took a detour to stop for some food. I was starving.
She called and said they were releasing her. This was about an hour after she was checked in. I was furious with the hospital. How could they release her so soon? All they did was write a script for liquid morphine and some kind of anti infection pill.
She walked across the street to Walgreens (she was stubborn, she wouldn’t even wait for me to arrive) so I met her there. They were unable to fill the prescription. Apparently liquid morphine is not kept around due to its attractiveness to thieves. They helped us locate another Walgreens who had it in stock. I remember the pharmacist telling the other store to not do any testing, as she is in bad shape and needs the Morphine.
So then we drove to the next Walgreens…
We were at Walgreen’s buying ice cream. I had the refrigerator door open while she was picking out a soda to drink. She sort of just stopped.
She said ‘Close the door’, so I did.
I asked if she was ok. She responded, ‘No.’
I began saying her name over and over and she was just staring forward.
She began to collapse.
I held her in my arms as she fell.
She was having a seizure and stopped breathing. She was turning blue. I screamed for help. The pharmacist came over and performed CPR while I called 911. I wish I could thank everyone in that store for being amazing and compassionate humans, for all of their help and support.
The truth is, after I secured help from others, I just paced in the next isle. I couldn’t even watch what was going on.
I knew it was over for her, for us and our new life together.
I would not see her again until that night at the hospital. She continued to have mini seizures all night. The hospital staff had no idea if she would make it through the night.
I looked up her parent’s number on her cell phone and called them. I had never spoken to them before. This was our first introduction. They were in Colorado. I told them I don’t know what is going on, but they need to drive to see her.
They were able to see her to say goodbye. Then they made the decision to take her off life support.
The few days before and the weeks and months after were agony. The fireman asked if I wanted to keep the prescription and I did. I was looking at an entire bottle of liquid Morphine. I considered downing it all. It would be a nice way to go. I wanted to chase her. I had been chasing her my whole life really, so I never wanted to stop. I thought of my parents. I could not put them through that. I drank it every day, enough to numb the pain and put me to sleep.
After it ran out, I began experiencing severe anxiety and panic attacks. I could not fall asleep without drinking, heavily. I was going out on appointments for work heavily under the influence. Nobody could tell. That’s how comatose I was. Someone finally complained they smelled alcohol on me, even though they didn’t think I was drunk.
I was fired.
I know now, aside from the depression, I was suffering from PTSD. I still have symptoms. If someone is slow to respond to me, I wonder if they are just going to collapse in front of me again. I live in constant fear of losing other loved ones.
All anyone could do to comfort me was hurl platitudes at me, about it getting better. Nothing I wanted to hear. I was overeating. I gained 40 pounds. It turns out I was pre-diabetic, which was making me feel even worse.
My heart was pounding all day, I eventually went to urgent care.
The nurse said I would be dead by 40. I am 32.
She said I needed professional help and to exercise. I was given a week of Ambien and Ativan.
I could finally sleep.
My prescription ran out and I was too lazy to get more. Symptoms began to repeat.
I needed something. I didn’t know what. One of my dad’s employee’s daughter had just won a weight loss competition at the local gym. I checked into it and found it was starting soon. I decided this is where I will make my stand.
It’s been 30 days since the competition started, I’ve lost 40 pounds.
I changed my diet, I feel so much better. I am no longer pre-diabetic, I am able to function.
My soul mate is gone. I have her cat. I hated cats. My parents had a cat when we were young. We always fought. She attacked me once and nearly took out my eye. Since then, I HATED CATS. Prior to all this happening, Kara moved to Colorado to start over. She could not keep her cat. I agreed to take her because I loved Kara too much.
This cat is amazing. She greets me when I come home. She will come and lay on me while I am watching TV. I know as long as I make her happy, I am honoring Kara’s memory. It’s strange, I’ve heard cats referred to as little people. I never understood it. I get it now. She reminds me of Kara. They are both feisty, can be indifferent yet mysterious, compelling and loving when they want to be.
I will always wonder. What if I took her to a different hospital, after she was checked out? What if I told them she has had seizures in the past, and I am worried she could bite her tongue, swelling her tongue even more and being unable to breathe. What if I had done that? She would have been in a hospital and would have had access to a defibrillator.
Would she have made it?
I will never know. In the end, she would have never let me take her back. She hated hospitals. I should have listened to myself, I thought it about the entire time after I had picked her up
I tried everything I could to honor her memory. I gave her parents a collage of pictures she took at their house. I helped her parents recover her retirement money, to cover all the costs of her cremation. Her friends who did not know me, even her ex-husband who despised me, called to express their gratitude for me taking care of her. I ignored all of them. I spent over 200 dollars shipping all of her personal items to her friends, just so I didn’t have to see them. I ignored everyone and everything.
All I can say is I survived. I take one day at a time. I have tempered my expectations about everything. If I knew I could chase her to where ever she is to see her again, I would do it right at this moment without hesitation.
Now I can hurl platitudes with absolute conviction. Live for the moment and always cherish those fleeting moments with your loved ones. They can evaporate in a moment”
They Were Like Brothers
“You couldn’t separate us.
We played hacky sack, partied, and spent every lunch together.
For four years, we shared every secret.
I knew he had family problems. Still, he had a rich dad – how bad could his life be?
It wasn’t until I visited his house did I understand how bad.
‘That’s all you have in your fridge? Why is your pool green?’
After his parents had divorced, his dad let the house go and stopped taking care of his children.
I couldn’t understand why a wealthy man would refuse to spend money to help his kids living in his mansion.
My best friend became self-conscious about his life when he wanted to have a girlfriend.
He needed new clothes and a car.
He started hustling – flipping laptops and old belongings.
I thought nothing of it.
One day he explains to me about how he ripped off a poor person by selling them a broken laptop.
He didn’t think twice about it.
At that moment, I knew the same could happen to me.
Our relationship began to fragment.
Then it got worst when he began flipping cars.
‘The car died on my way to sell it to this guy. I had to jump start it. And I still made the sale.’
He never arrived on time for events or meetings.
He lied to everyone around him to get what he wanted.
I tried to stay his friend, but I couldn’t depend on him anymore. Our communication went from every day to every week to once every couple of months.
He became a club promoter.
I founded a startup.
We talk to each other twice a year. I hope he’s changed again for the better.
I don’t think I’ll convince myself to take the risk of finding out.
I miss the good times we had.
But sometimes we need to move on from those around us who lose their way-It’s a cold reality that only makes us stronger”
A Lifetime Of Friendship
“My aunt and uncle adopted a baby from South Korea when I was 1.
There are pictures of me holding my new cousin (with help not to drop her, of course) in the airport.
From that day on, we were best friends. We grew up together, my siblings, cousins and I were raised in a sort of a pack. But this cousin and I were always like sisters. She was there for almost every childhood memory. Our mothers used to get us coordinating Christmas gifts because they knew we would be playing with them together. We called each other on the phone every day we weren’t together and tied up the phone line until our moms made us stop.
When we were teenagers we used to sit and talk about the dumb stuff teenage girls talk about. As teenagers, she was beautiful, popular with the boys, and very shy. I was a troublemaker, one of the guys, and very social, but we stayed close friends despite that.
As young adults, we were equally inseparable. We used to joke that someday we’d get married and live in houses across the street from each other so we could cross the street and visit each other all the time.
When I got married, she was my Maid of Honor. She asked me to be her MOH at her wedding, but I didn’t want to offend her sister so I was a bridesmaid.
Then I got divorced, and she had a baby.
We see each other in person on family holidays, speak on the telephone maybe once every four months. She offered to take me out to lunch for my birthday last month. We still haven’t seen each other since Thanksgiving. I have a Christmas present for her, all wrapped up, sitting on my coffee table so I can grab it if I think I will see her.
Since she become a mother, and I became an unmarried woman, she has seemed from my perspective to think she’s better than me.
I raise my nephew, who is older than her son, and even though I’m not married, I’m not doing anything that would be objectionable with my social life. So really aside from the fact that I work outside my home and she does not, we have a lot in common on the day-to-day.
She always tells me she’s busy but seems to spend a lot of time with her married friends with kids.
I stopped initiating communication, kind of just to see if she would ever talk to me if I didn’t start it. She texted me 3 days ago to ask me how it is she likes her eyebrows done. That’s all I’ve heard from her.
A lifetime of friendship is pretty much over.
We didn’t have a fight. We didn’t drift into radically different lifestyle choices. Nobody died. There was no great calamity.
She decided that she was a wife and mother, and so must her friends be.
I decided I don’t want to keep putting effort into a friendship when I’m the only one that wants it.
We will continue to make a fuss about seeing each other at family holidays.
I will always cherish the friendship we had, but I also know it will never be the same as it was”
“I had a bunch of girlfriends some time ago.. We were a close sisterhood since Junior High School (approx. when we were 13–14 years old) until I cut the rope back in end of 2014 (when I was 30).
My old bffs consisted of 5 girls including me, who are all married with kids. I don’t mean to brag but I used to believe my gang was super, they are smart and good at work (dermatologist, lawyer, manager), successful rich husbands, cute kids, and so. We were like family friends, we mostly met with our husbands and kids altogether. I firstly thought that these girls are my everything because we support each other to reach the top. But my situation opened showed their true faces..
I consider myself lucky, I am quite educated, have a good family, etc, etc, which I thought meant I can’t have such ‘unfortunate’ things, but of course life has the ability to turn things upside down. So in the end 2013, unfortunately my life wasn’t good at all. I was forced to live back in my hometown (after more than 5 years of working and lived abroad) due to business problem and family matters (my mother was ill, both my husband’s and I’s fathers died). I also had to live separately from my husband to take care of my mother.
So, of course I was totally down and needed them the most. I especially needed the moral support to tell that the storm will pass. Although they gave me some motivational talk, and listened to my stories, I realized something had changed and they weren’t genuine friends anymore. They started questioning silly things, throwing some sarcastic comments, etc.
Once we had dinner together (Aug 2014), and one of my friends’ husband asked me
‘So Amy, hehe anywaaaay hows your husband? Hehe,’ with a big smirk on his face.
I cannot comprehend the ‘hehe’ means in this question, because they absolutely knew my condition and how we were struggling apart, financially and emotionally. It was not asked with kindness or concern.
Another friend (D), who apparently knew me the longest, commented:
D: Amy, where actually are you working now? I heard you just changed a company.
Me: Yes, I am working at . . . . (the company’s name) now. I received an offer 2 months ago, so I was like.. Why not.
D: Aha, hahaha why are you anyway still working? Is your husband’s money not enough for you?
She knew our financial troubles and that was hardly the reason.
Another comment from the other girl (Y) and her husband (F).
F: So, when is . . . (husband) coming to Jakarta and visiting you, Amy?
A: I am not sure, maybe January 2015 because he had some work to do this end of the year.
F: Aah, are you sure? Not in April, or June, or February? Hehehe..
Y: So, has Gabriel started to ask for a new father, Amy? Since . . . (husband) isn’t in town anyway. HAHAHAHAHA._. _(Another girl from background also chuckled whilst Y was laughing).
It was especially hurtful this came from Y who has been struggling with fertility dysfunction since years. I knew her struggle to have a baby and how many IVF attempts they had. I patted her shoulder and comforted her whenever she came and told me that she had period again, instead of two stripes on ovulation test. And that was her joke when she knew my husband just lost his business and we both lost our fathers?!
Those all comments happened in my first 45 minutes in the party.
It was surreal and as much as I am an easy person who loves to act silly and laugh loud, I cannot forgive and forget what they said and the way they made me feel.
I asked to leave early, and when I was driving home I couldn’t stop my tears. Gabriel asked, ‘What is happening mama?’ I told him I suddenly had a cold and fever. I cried not because I was weak but because my heart was filled with hatreds and disappointment. Right after I reached home, I asked my maid to take Gabriel, and I called my husband directly. As a husband who just lost his business and lived far from his family, he was also disappointed on how my friends treated me like that.
I didn’t know why they behaved like that. Was it purely unintentional mistake?
Were they jealous of me? Wasn’t I good enough anymore to be in the circle?
I don’t want to know and don’t care.
January 2015, a month after that incident, I totally cut all connections with them. We are approaching 2017 now and I have never been happier that I decided to cut the toxic in my life”
“‘I started doing adult films.’
I blinked. ‘What?’
‘Yeah.’ Zoey popped her gum and leaned back against the porch swing, pushing herself back and forth with the toes of her sandals. ‘It’s been super fun.’
The two of us were sitting on the front porch of Zoey’s house, our feet dragging on the wooden floorboards as the sun skirted past the palm trees swaying in the Los Angeles sky. I had just come home from college for Winter Break, and had wanted to catch up with my best friend since middle school.
Zoey, with her long, dark hair, her large eyes, her happy-go-lucky attitude, and the intellect she always tried to hide whenever a cute guy was around.
I didn’t understand. ‘What do you mean you’re doing porn?’
‘I mean, like, it’s not official or anything. I’m just doing it, like, recreationally. Like the modeling! Did I tell you?’
I shook my head.
Zoey grinned. ‘I met this guy on Tinder, and he, like, takes pictures of naked women? For art. And he was like, ‘I bet you have a really nice body, I’d love to try out my camera on you.’ So I took off all my clothes and he took pictures of me and put it on his blog.’
Before I knew it, Zoey was showing me the blog on her phone.
I stared. There were photographs of dozens of young women. One series in particular was of a girl with a mask tied around her face. Her poses were twisted into awkward positions against the backdrop of a dorm room, unrecognizable had it not been for the birthmark I had remembered since childhood dotting her right shoulder. The disguise leered up at me, the eyes drooping, the mouth stretching back into a snarl.
‘I guess it’s pretty artsy,’ I managed. I didn’t know what else to say. ‘Did you get paid?’
Zoey laughed. ‘No, not for that. I got paid for doing a video with another couple though. That was super fun.’
‘You did a video?’
‘Yeah! This couple reached out to me, and I was like, why not? The boyfriend wanted me to. He filmed the whole thing.’
I looked at my best friend, and saw Zoey at thirteen years old, when we had first met. I remembered skinned knees on the basketball court, popsicles that melted in the desert heat, laughter and tears about puppy-love boyfriends that grew bored and dropped her like a crumpled piece of trash.
‘Well, I mean, if you’re happy doing it—‘ I began.
‘Oh, yeah, it’s awesome. But what about you? What are you up to?’ Zoey leaned forward and grinned at me. ‘I wanna know how you’re doing in that fancy school on the east coast.’
Feeling a little relieved, I started telling Zoey about the fascinating classes I was taking, about the organizations I had started, the work I had done with Amnesty International, the novel I was finishing up. But as I spoke, I saw Zoey’s eyes glaze over, and I realized I had lost her. We didn’t relate to each other anymore.
When I finally left the house, our goodbyes were forced, and the hug was clumsy and awkward. The sun was finally beginning to disappear behind the stucco houses of the neighborhood, and Zoey’s face had darkened in the twilight. She was still chewing her gum.
‘I’ll see you later,’she said. She forced a smile.
I smiled back. ‘See you later.’
But both of us knew that something had changed that day. And when I drove away from Zoey’s house, I knew with a heavy heart that we would never go back to the way things were.
We had moved on from each other”
A Brief, Impersonal Email
“Several years ago, I met this guy on a language forum. His posts impressed me, they were always intelligent, well-reasoned and kind. Eventually, we started to exchange e-mails. And these e-mails started to touch on all kinds of subjects, including philosophy, politics, religion, relationship issues (he’s married, I have a boyfriend of many years) and other matters. We could talk about anything.
He visited Germany a few times as well, spent almost a month as our guest. His wife decided to stay at home; she hates traveling.
The occasional long Skype call, e-mailing each other several times a day to share thoughts or request the other’s opinion… despite the distance I considered him one of my best friends.
Then, last November I got a single-paragraph e-mail from him saying that he was going to shut down all his online profiles and focus on the ‘real world.’ It was very impersonal, like a mass e-mail. Of course, I was astonished and tried to learn more, but that was basically it. He didn’t reply to my Christmas greeting, which I had sent to his work e-mail. And that’s how I lost a very good friend”
Middle Aged Men Don’t Have Friends
“We were both in our late twenties at the time. We had met while working for the same employer and were like kindred spirits. We hung out all the time: we went to concerts, bars and pool halls together. When our apartment leases expired, we were living with different people. He had a roommate he couldn’t stand and I was living with an ex-girlfriend…I really needed to get out there!
So we moved into a two bedroom apartment together and became almost inseparable. It was the most intense platonic relationship I ever experienced and it went on for a few years. Then one day, he met a woman and fell madly in love with her.
Soon he was talking about moving out and getting a place with her. It just so happened I met a woman right around the same time. Before I knew it we were both enveloped in our respective partners’ lives. We no longer had time to spend together. We rarely met for dinner anymore and certainly did not do activities together like we used too.
Then he got married and soon after I got married. The gulf between increased even more. Although my partner did not mind me spending time with my buddy, his wife seemed jealous of our bond. This caused a rift in our relationship and soon we were only hanging out once every few months. Nowadays, we live in different states. I’m divorced but he is still married. We exchange the occasional email or text but the relationship is no longer the same.
Once, in grad school, one of my professors loudly proclaimed: My people are hurting!
What he meant was that many heterosexual men in his age group (middle age) suffered from loneliness. Many men, according to him, by this stage in life had solely focused on their marriages, children and careers. They had neglected developing satisfying peer friendships. By the time many men reached the pinnacle of their careers their social lives were completely dependent on their families. The male buddies they had when they were in their teens and twenties were no longer there.
Whenever I get a random text from my former BFF…I think about my professor’s lecture and I feel sad”
She Got Saved
“She became too religious. ‘You are going to ruin my relationship with God,’ she said to me.
We were friends from grade school to high school! We did everything together. We had so much in common and we loved hanging out whenever we could. We were those cheesy friends that promised to be friends forever. Pinky promise.
During the end of high school, she became so religious; Started wearing very conservative clothing. Didn’t color or cut her hair because it was against her beliefs. She even told me she will never get married because she wanted to devote her life to God. Almost like a nun. She started to judge me and quoted verses from the Bible. I was never against any of her beliefs but it seemed as though she started to get uncomfortable with me.
The moment she found out I was having sex with my boyfriend, she got very mad and disappointed in me. It felt very weird because not even my own mother was against it.
We stopped texting and she started to ignore me in school. She got new friends from church and only did church activities (Christian concerts, church fundraising, …) But, I too like her, attended church, believed in God. But I accepted all friends, atheist, or not.
I asked her why she was ignoring me and she told me, that she can’t be friends with me anymore because I am a bad influence. I sin too much. I am not living the proper Christian life. I am keeping her away from God and she can’t have sin in her life. I was fine with her choices and new lifestyle, but she hated me because I wasn’t living my life like hers. She also mentioned I couldn’t be a real Christian because I didn’t like Christian music. Now I knew she was being irrational.
I was confused, and so heart broken. Even the Bible says only God can judge another person. No one else has the right. It was such a weird feeling to have to lose a friend like this. Because I was sinning? Who doesn’t … ?
Life went on and I remember it clearly, a few weeks later I was driving and she called me. She told me she was very sorry for the way she behaved. She didn’t mean to judge me or tell me what to do with my life. We tried to hang out but ever time we did, I felt like she was trying to make me change, and telling me what would be best in ‘God’s eyes’.
The relationship ended. Sometimes I think about her and I hope she is doing well”
“When I moved to the Netherlands for my Masters, I was very intrigued in meeting new people of different nationalities. There was this very nice girl, who was in the same program and we began talking.
She was extremely friendly and we used to work on assignments together. Since I did well in Rocket Propulsion, she always asked me to help her in figuring out some issues. I never said no. I really like teaching/helping people as long as they are willing to learn.
But as days passed by, I got a feeling that she was plainly using me for academic gain. She would write to me and call me when she wanted help but she would never talk any other time.
I heard from her former classmates (who were also then-classmates of mine) that she has a history of doing this with multiple people. They asked me to be careful.
I realized that this was too toxic a friendship and I don’t like being taken advantage of. So, I openly told her that I don’t want to work with her anymore. She started spreading rumors about me to my colleagues that I was hitting on her.
Of course, my friends knew me better and they informed me about her activities. I didn’t confront her because I knew that very few people trusted her anyway. However, I was fuming with anger and I began to hate her!
But then, one day, everything changed.
July 17th, 2014.
A friend of mine texted me:
Guy: Dude! Karthik… You remember this girl
Me: Of course, yes. Maaannn I hate her! Why? What’s wrong with her now?
Guy: She was on that plane!
My friend, that girl, was flying from Amsterdam to Perth through Kuala Lumpur on MH17 flight. The one which was shot down over Ukraine.
So, that’s how I lost my friend. Looking back, what both of us did was silly. In the end, she was a nice person. She had really great ambitions. Although I am told that I was on the right side, I still carry a guilt of not amending the friendship that we had, however right or wrong both of us were.
Sometimes, I still say, ‘Sorry, friend! If I had hurt you in any way, I am terribly sorry!'”
His Wife Or His Best Friend
“I lost her myself. She was a distant cousin, so we were never meant to be together for too long or romantically but still, our friendship survived more than two decades. She knew everything about me, and I knew everything about her. We used to stay up all night and talk to each other.
What we shared was beautiful. I used to talk to her about girls I had crushes on. She’d give me tips and courage to go ahead and approach them. She’d talk to me about her on and off boyfriend who was an obsessive, dominating person. We never took any major life decision without consulting each other. The distance wasn’t a factor. We met only a few times every year, especially during some social events. On those occasions, she only had eyes and ears for me, and likewise.
Everything was cool. Until I got married and my wife found out a very long message from her in my Facebook inbox. There was nothing even remotely sexual in the text, but she jumped into conclusion that I was having or had an affair with my best friend, who again was my cousin.
An affair in India doesn’t necessarily involve sex, and it doesn’t take much to tick a woman off.
Even before she saw that message, she sensed that we had a special bond. My wife kept on asking a lot of questions, and I could sense the jealousy. My best friend made things worse by hugging me in front of her, once. Wife asked (or I’d rather say ordered) me to delete her from my Facebook, but I didn’t.
I tried explaining, but it didn’t work. We had a number of rows over this issue.
One day, out of frustration and irritation, I stopped communicating with my best friend, and never explained myself. I think she sensed the fact that my wife wasn’t liking her much, so she poked fun at me in a final message and stopped communicating with me as well.
I was expecting a wish when my daughter was born. She was expecting a birthday wish. I never missed wishing her for the last 20 years, but this year, I just couldn’t do it. She never missed wishing me for any of my major life events. She was always there for me, through thick and thin, and so was I.
But not anymore.
I am a miserable and pathetic person. But I had to do this to keep my arranged marriage alive”