It can happen to the best of us; sometimes some wires misfire and we say or do something embarrassingly stupid. As mortifying as it can be, the following 19 people fess up to their biggest, and definitely most embarrassing, facepalm moments of their lives.
The “Missing” Phone.
“It’s 2012. I am watching YouTube videos on my new iPhone. I’ve never had a smartphone before. It’s awesome, like a mini computer that you can hold in one hand. I need to make a phone call. I can’t find my cellphone anywhere. I search all around my room. I look in my jacket pockets and my handbag. The mini computer in my hand beeps. It’s my mother calling. ‘Mom, have you seen my cell phone? I need to make a phone call and I can’t find it anywhere.’ Silence. ‘Sati,’ she says, clearly exasperated, ‘It’s in your hand.’ Oh. Oh… yeah” (Source).
He Must Be Psychic.
“Ack. I’m running late and have to get to the airport. I zip my suitcase closed, grab my bag and run downstairs to hop on my Uber. He drops me off at my gate and I dash to stand in line in security. I hand the officer my ID and my boarding pass. He looks at my photo. Looks at me. Looks at my photo. Smiles. ‘Good morning, Ms. Zapata! Have a wonderful trip!’ I feel the same way you would feel if someone rested an ice cold hand on the nape of your neck. ‘Oh my god,’ I think. ‘How does this complete stranger know my name?'” (Source).
What A Strange Coincidence!
“Last week I was late for a class. When I got in the classroom I found there were several bullets of homework on the board. I realized that I DIDN’T DO MY HOMEWORK. I rushed out of the classroom and did it for about one hour. ONE HOUR LATER— I went to the office hour and explained that ‘there were some important personal issues so I went home to handle it. And life is currently miserable and I’m in a culture shock bulabula…’ Me: ‘Oh and by the way here is the homework.’ Professor with a mysterious smile: ‘Well,… it’s today’s homework.’ I said wow that’s… really weird ok then see you on Wednesday!… but it should have been Thursday. The professor corrected me and laughed out loud when I escaped. But I did get an A+ on the final. Lol” (Source).
Don’t Strain Yourself Too Hard There…
“I remember having a conversation with my dad concerning the microwave in our house. It went like this: Me – ‘Dad, if I heated an item in the microwave for a minute, how would I microwave it for an hour? The microwave only goes up to 99:99. Do you think it would be close enough if I ever needed to heat anything for an hour?’
Dad (without any reaction) – ‘I’ll let that sink in son.’
My stupid ‘in the moment’ logic said ‘a minute is 1:00, therefore an hour is 100:00 if 10 minutes is 10:00.’ Embarrassingly, and ironically enough, it took me a full hour for me to figure that one out” (Source).
Yup, That Is Embarrassing.
“Well, this is embarrassing. I was dating this girl after high school. She was beautiful, it was new, we didn’t really understand or care about the naysayers of PDA. Anyway, we walk into a Target to pick up a few things for a movie night we were having. She was all dressed up for a night in grey sweats, her dark hair up in a bun and a black shirt hanging off one shoulder. I thought she was looking pretty awesome and it was tough to keep our hands off each other because we were young and had no sense of decency.
Anyway, we kissed real quick before we divided and conquered— I got the drinks, she got the snacks. I grabbed some soda off one of the endcaps and ran to the snack section to find her. And boom, there she was bent over unawares intently deciding between two snacks on the lower shelf. I thought I’d be cute. I put the drinks down, went quietly up behind her, gently wrapped my arms around her waist, nuzzled close to her ear and whispered, ‘Jesus Christ, you’re hot.’ I was about to kiss her cheek before I heard a blood curdling scream. She whipped around and pushed me away now slightly more calm seeing my shocked and confused expression but still keeping her outstretched arms. Then it hit me… s–t… holy s–t… it’s not her. Same hair, build, pants and slinky shirt.
I went into harmless explaining mode but she was pretty skeptical and generous with the f-bombs until my girlfriend rounded the corner and the woman started putting two and two together. I had lots of explaining to do that night but she ended up not seeing the humor in the situation but also didn’t press charges, so there’s that. My girlfriend eventually forgave me but I got a lot of ‘Jesus, you think I looked like her? You don’t even know me.’ The relationship didn’t last too long anyway” (Source).
The Joys Of Working In IT.
“I think my personal favourite was my friend telling me about the IT work he does. He once received an IT call from a woman working at another site, who called to ask for help because her CD kept falling out when she placed it in the computer. So he drives over to the site and asks her to demonstrate the problem. She ejects the CD drive, then places the CD in the tray, then hits close. She uses her hand to try and keep the CD in the tray as it slides in, but it falls out again. He fixes it by flipping her desktop over. I don’t think I’ve ever facepalmed harder than listening to that story” (Source).
Get Out Of The Kitchen.
“This incident still haunts me because my friends make sure I never forget. They enjoy telling it to everyone. It just so happened that nobody was home, so I invited my college group over. They were hungry so I decided to make some omelets. I’m rarely in the kitchen and I barely knew how to cook at that time, but I did make an omelet once before this incident so I knew the recipe.
Anyways, I could not find a bottle of cooking oil, so I searched around and found a bottle with oil. I used it. Omelet was almost done when three of my friends entered the kitchen. One of my friends saw the oil bottle and said this is not cooking oil. I argued back that it was cooking oil. He took the bottle and smelled it and said, ‘This is surely not cooking oil, this is… Castor oil.’ Yes I made omelet in Castor oil. Needless to say that I was kicked out of the kitchen” (Source).
“I lived in Canada for nine years and everyday I get questions, some of them really dumb. But this one is my favorite. A girl was new in my school and she had been there for about a week, she knew I had been in Canada so she had a few questions to ask me. Girl: So you’re from Canada right? Me: Yes, well, lived there. Girl: Can you speak Canadian? Me: There is no actual language called Canadian. We spoke French and English. Girl: Oh. Isn’t English like British or something? Me: You’re speaking English right now. Girl: Oh. I’m going to go walk away now… FACEPALM” (Source).
“I had bought some candy in a bottle and my boyfriend put the bottle next to the TV remotes on the couch. Every time he ate some, he always picked out more and put 2 pieces in my mouth while were snuggling on the couch.
One weekend, we went to visit his parents and while his mom was cooking, he was playing with their dog in the living room, and I was reading on my phone. Then he went to the cabinet to get some dog treats, came close by, and I automatically leaned over to eat one piece from his hand. The dog was totally confused – why is this person eating my cookies?” (Source).
“When I was little I played baseball. I played for a few years and grew tired of it. I began looking for another sport I might find exciting and came across soccer. So, I joined a team.
Alright, so it’s our first game and coach has me playing forward. Our goalie sends it over. A beautiful punt. The ball soars high and it’s on its way to me. Now, keep in mind that at that point most of my life had been spent playing the outfield.
I’m running toward the opposing goal. I turn and look up at the soccer ball the goalie has so accurately sent my way. Instead of waiting for it to come to the ground, my brain tells me ‘Look! A POP UP!’ So, I did what had come so naturally to me on the baseball field. I deliberately reached up with both hands and literally caught the ball as if it were a baseball. FACEPALM.
The embarrassment was immense. Everyone stared dumbfounded as I turned red and flipped the ball to the referee. I didn’t stay for a second season” (Source).
Come On Dad.
“A little background. I was studying abroad and talked to my family with skype. So my parents learned how to download Skype from internet and use it. Here’s how the conversation went: Me: Dad, Microsoft bought skype for $1 billion dollars. Dad: That seems idiotic. They could have downloaded it from internet for free” (Source).
A Literal Facepalm.
“I actually face-palmed my own face… loudly. I just couldn’t hold it in.
This one time we had a respected professor from University of Sheffield come to my humble but religious university for a conference. The presentation was on genetics and included a few slides on evolution.
A friend of a mine studied Biotechnology, and although she had an astonishing record of all As on her transcripts and was academically more accomplished than me, she was too religious to accept evolution.
I was sincerely worried that she would ask something stupid because my university already had a horrible reputation as close-minded and religious among visiting professors and we didn’t need to prove that to the new presenting professor.
Him: _concluding his presentation with a talk about evolution _
Her: ‘This doesn’t make sense to me because I don’t believe in evolution. God made everything and what he stated in his book is contradictory to what you said therefore you’re wrong.’
My fears came true. My nightmare has become a reality.. I actually facepalmed my forehead and it was so loud, my teachers sitting in the row in front of me turned at me with concerned looks and the presenting professor shifted his dumbfounded looks towards me.
I am not embarrassed of facepalming myself in a crowded area, not as much as hearing that absurd statement” (Source).
“Years ago, I had made friends somewhat with a woman around my age. It was that time in life when everyone seemed to be having babies. I knew she was pregnant, but since I didn’t see her frequently, wasn’t quite sure of her due date. I ran into her one day and, based on how she looked, assumed she had not yet delivered. I asked her how her pregnancy was going and she said, ‘I had a boy almost a month ago….’ And then she turned around and walked away. I wanted to dig a hole and crawl in” (Source).
It’s Not Working!!
“I had booked tickets to Vegas but 2 days before that my cell stopped working, so I went to the Apple store and bought brand new iphone 6s. I decided not to remove the thin plastic cover wrapped around it as it was new phone and I didn’t buy any case for it because I wanted to search a nice one once I was back from Vegas.
So my journey started. I had my earphone in to listen to music. Throughout my journey I didn’t unplug my earphones and every time someone called me or I had to call someone I used to speak through earphones. But unfortunately I forgot to carry my earphones on the second day while I was travelling to the Grand Canyon. Then my friend called me but I wasn’t able to hear anything. I tried everything, increasing the volume, checking all the settings, googling how to change settings… felt terribly bad that after spending $850 the phone is not working properly.
Once back home, the first thing I did was go to the Apple store. As I was pissed off so badly because of spending so much money and getting a defective piece, with a harsh tone I said, Me – ‘I want a new phone and everything to be checked before I take.’ She – Sure Ma’am, I would need the original box in order to exchange.’ Me – ‘I just got home from vacation. Give me 2 hours and I will go and get everything.’ She – Definitely Ma’am. Sorry for the inconvenience.’
After that I left the store and took subway to go get everything. It was an hour journey, I took the bus and came back to the Apple store. Unfortunately the employee was busy with another customer, so she asked her friend to assist me. I was irritated, so with an angry face I explained her everything. She took my phone and looked at for a second, then she looked at me with a calm smile on her face and just told me ‘Ma’am, if you unwrap this cover, you will be able to hear everything.’ I was speechless and didn’t know where to hide my face!! I just told her thank you and quickly left. I was soooo dumb” (Source).
Math Is Hard.
“I am an engineering student living in a hostel. Living in a hostel = lots of memories. So this is the story when I was in my first year of engineering. Just for the background, my roommate was a year above me studying fashion.
I was that sincere sheep who would study regularly because, come on, it was the first year of college. So one fine day I was working on my math homework. And like always my roommate would be looking into the mirror getting ready for some party and lecturing me simultaneously about how to dress and other fashion crap. I was so tired of listening to her daily lecture that I finally told her I am an engineering student and this is what matters to me more (lifting my book).
Her: Which subject is that?
Me: Math… Not your cup of tea (I teased).
Her: Oh math, yes it’s been long time since I’ve taken a math class.
Me: Ya I’m sure you don’t even know the basics of math (Obviously she knows but it was fun trying to get under her skin).
Her: I know the basics okay. Addition multiplication division and subtraction. Let me show you.
My notebook was lying on the bed. She took it and wrote 0x2=… And then there was a big pause (thinking…seriously!!!) Her: I am not sure whether it’s 0 or 2. Finally she wrote 2″ (Source).
Can’t See Clearly.
“I was living in London and a few friends decided to get together at another acquaintance’s place. We played some FIFA and decided to go get some food. Now I had been working for almost ten hours that day but really wanted to hang out and have a good time.
We all left the flat and reached the exit gate of the building when I stopped everyone and said ‘I need the keys. I forgot something.’ They waited while I went upstairs and ransacked the entire place looking for my spectacles. 10 minutes of rummaging and frustration- but I couldn’t find my spectacles. So I went back and with a sad look on my face, handed them the keys. One friend asked me what I was looking for and if I’d found it. I told him I was looking for my spectacles but I seemed to have lost them.
With the most FLABBERGASTED look on his face – he moved his index finger towards my eyes and while I suddenly closed my eyes to avoid his finger going into my eye- I heard a sound like a click- He was tapping the glass of my spectacles that had been on my eyes all along” (Source).
“My husband and I were in a small shop where there was an ATM machine inside the shop. As usual, I went to the machine and, accompanied by my husband beside me, withdrew some money. I got the cash and put it in my wallet while talking to my husband about the day and many other things.
To my surprise, I soon realized that the machine had not returned my card. I clicked the CANCEL button over and over, but nothing happened. The screen looked normal, as if nothing was wrong. I was ready to panic! I knew for sure a criminal would get ahold of my card and withdraw all our money!
My husband calmed me down and, once collected, I rang the bank’s support line. They asked me for some details and then blocked/deactivated my card temporarily. The problem wasn’t solved yet, but at least I could relax.
That evening, we had dinner out. As I was paying the check, I saw my card sitting beautifully in my wallet. I thought, ‘Oh, hell, no. It can’t be real. But I—I remembered everything!’ Apparently, though, I had not” (Source).
The Expert Fixer.
“I helped my cousin with buying and assembling a PC. I set it up, leaving it working perfectly. A few weeks later, I got a call from my aunt: ‘Uh, we have a problem with the computer. Could you take a look at it when you have some time?’ I decided to check it out immediately, feeling somehow responsible for it. When I arrived, my aunt told me that they had been moving furniture and the computer wouldn’t turn on afterwards. Suspecting that they must had banged it somehow, I rushed to examine the machine. ‘It’s fixed,’ I said after one minute. ‘Really? What was wrong?’ ‘It was unplugged,’ I replied” (Source).
Blame The Cold.
“After leaving a birthday party, a friend and I were ecstatic when we realised that we were on time for the last train to my city. The temperature had suddenly dropped and we were not dressed for the occasion, which was sitting on an outside platform. The departure time was 01:30. After ten minutes of shivering, I looked at the clock again and it read 02:57. It was only then did I realise that in the real world, two comes after one and the train was long gone. The sad thing is that neither of us were drunk” (Source).