11 Awkward Things Every Person With a Big Butt Has Experienced

We are in a golden age for big butts thanks to stars like Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian, and Jennifer Lopez. And while having a booty is a blessing, there are a number of awkward things that come along with it.

Denim Demons

Stuffing that butt into jeans is a huge struggle. If you try to wear the correct waist size in jeans then there’s not enough space for your butt. You end up exhausting yourself by doing 15 minutes worth of stretching, squatting, and pulling exercises.

Leggings

Thin leggings are your worst nightmare.  You wear your new leggings for the first time and go through the whole day before you realize they are completely see through and everyone knows what color your underwear is.  Great.

Table Butt

Some people find it so hilarious that things can balance perfectly on your butt and always use it as a convenient table for their food, beverages, and belongings.

Squeezing Through Small Spaces

Trying to squeeze through gaps just doesn’t happen.  If you drop something far under the bed there is no hope of you being able to get it without the help of one of your flat booty friends. 

Twerk It Out

Everyone assumes you can dance. All of the summer dance anthems make it sound like your butt has magical powers. When people see you they think that you can bounce it at record speeds and make it clap as if you’re applauding your own performance.

Online Shopping

You cannot take advantage of online clothes shopping. Each time you think you have the sizes figured out and order something online, your clothes either have too much space in the waist or not enough room for all of your junk in the trunk. You always have to try clothes on to see if they fit.

Whoops!

You understand the store policy “you break it, you buy it” better than anyone. Having a maximus gluteus leads to a lot of knocking things over, especially in tight quarters like some store aisles.

The “Ass”umptions

People assume things about you just because you have a big butt, mainly that you’re promiscuous. Guys might come up behind you at the club and girls might judge you harshly.

I’ll Just Stand

You have been stuck in more than a few chairs. You know immediately if you will have to struggle to squeeze your butt out of a tight seat. You try to make sure you are the last person to leave the room so no one will see you do the push and twist dance to free yourself from your seat.

Bye Bye Underwear

Your butt has a way of swallowing your underwear. At some point during the day, even granny panties or briefs will turn into a thong.

Cut-Off Curse

When the other girls wear the little cut-off shorts to prance around in, they look cute and sexy. But sadly, your butt hangs out and the shorts turn into something that more closely resembles an uncomfortable pair of underwear.

Buying Bikinis

When you go shopping for swimwear you have to spend twice the money. There is never a swimsuit that has a normal sized top with supersized bottoms, so you have to buy two sizes. Hopefully you have a friend that is more endowed up top and less so below that you can give the unused parts to.

Bending Over

You have shown more thongs than you care to think about because of the gap left in the pants that fit your backside but are too big for your waist. Anytime you squat while wearing those pants is an open invitation for others to comment on the color and style of your undies.

Derriere Dissociation

People act like your butt isn’t part of your body. Guys ask to touch it, kids stare at it, and your girlfriends like to slap it in good fun. They see your butt as a separate entity.