He Thought He’d Found A Buddy, But It Was Really A Predator
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“A good buddy of mine was about to move across the country. He had his going away party at a gay bar here in Austin. I decided to go and the plan was to have a few drinks, dance a little, and go home with my girlfriend.
About 20 minutes after we arrived, my girlfriend got a text that her friend’s sister had been in a bad car accident. She left to go help her friend, so I decided to stay for another hour or so before heading home. While having a drink at the bar, I started to feel tired, so I went outside to call an Uber.
While I was outside, one guy from the party group, who I didn’t know at all, asked what was going on, so I told him I was leaving. He was like, ‘I live right by you, I’ll drop you off.’ I didn’t think about it at the time, but he had no clue where I lived because we were barely introduced at the party.
I got in his car and as we turn the corner, he put his hand on my leg. I kinda snapped out of it, and told him, ‘You know what man, I’m uncomfortable here, why don’t you let me out of the car?’
I got the whole, ‘Nah bro, I’ll get you home safe it’s fine, and won’t stop.’
He didn’t pull over. As we came up to a stoplight, I tried to open the door, and the door wouldn’t open. He would not look at me and by this point, I was telling him very forcibly to let me go. I normally conceal and carry, but I didn’t this night since I was in a bar and I was drinking, both illegal to carry a weapon while doing so. After a few more lights and silence, I realized that he was taking me somewhere against my will.
Then, I realized that I had a window breaker on my keychain (it’s one of those combo things that can cut a seatbelt and break a window if your car is underwater). I pulled it out, broke the passenger side window at the next light, and tried to crawl out. Luckily, there were like 8 people that saw it happen and came running over. He still wouldn’t unlock the door. When he saw them running over to help, he opened the door and pushed me out and sped off.
He was in a stolen car and no one knew him at the party, he had just started associating with our group early on and I thought he was part of the party. It was so scary.”
“Never Giving My Number To A Stranger Again”
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“I met a ‘nice guy’ on OKCupid a couple years ago. I gave him my number after we chatted for a bit and talked about possibly meeting. When he suggested we meet at a local elementary school in the middle of the night, I noped right out of that and told him it was nice talking to him, but I didn’t want to meet anymore.
He kept trying to convince me by saying he would buy me gifts, he really liked me and thought we could hit it off. When I told him no, he blew up and called me all kinds of obscene names. He told me that I owed him $15 because he had already bought me a present for our ‘first date’ and that I needed to meet him RIGHT NOW to give him his money. It was either that or I could meet him and have a ‘good time’ and forget about all of this. I blocked his number right away and didn’t hear from him until the next day when he called me from a DIFFERENT NUMBER. When I picked up he acted pleasant and asked me what time we were going to meet today for our date. I told him to eff off and blocked him again. Then I got a text a couple hours later from ANOTHER freaking phone number saying that if I didn’t meet him, he was going to kill himself. After a bit of (unnecessarily) dramatic conversation, I basically told him that I didn’t care if he killed himself, he was psychotic and needed to leave me alone. I blocked him and forgot about it.
Fast forward to about six months ago when I got a text from an unknown number. I knew exactly who it was when I read the text, ‘I have $20 and a fun night planned for us. Want to meet sometime soon? Miss you.’
Blocked it and changed my number. Never giving it out to a stranger again.”
“Cringey” Missed Connection
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“I worked at a children’s museum for a few years. There was this single dad with three daughters who was cute, but way too old for me. I was 19 and he was about 35. I also got a weird vibe from him. He was always very sweet, but a little uncomfortable. His daughters were adorable.
One day, some guest approached me and asked me if I’d seen this ‘missed connections’ post on Craigslist about the museum.
It. Was. About. Me.
The guy was writing about the things we had talked about and saying how good we would be together, etc. Later, he found me on Facebook and tried to add me. I didn’t add him back. The next time he was in the museum, he followed me, room to room, and just glared at me from afar, not even talking to me. It was super uncomfortable. Eventually, I thought it would be easier just to add him, so I did. Then he started commenting really weird, cringey stuff on my photos, like a gif of Pikachu biting his lip or just ‘FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP,’ so I decided enough is enough and deleted him.
THEN he tried to win me back or something. He brought a wrapped canvas to the museum and gave it to MY BOSS saying it ‘would be too weird to just give it to her…’
My boss called me down later and made me open it in front of everyone (it was a very fun workplace and we loved to rip on each other) and it was a painting of one of my photos from Facebook! I was so mortified. I put it away, but one of my coworkers (and also my best friend) replaced the clock in the breakroom with my portrait, just to be annoying.
While it was funny, I also asked my boss to kinda watch out for him. From then on, I didn’t see him anymore and I blocked him on Facebook, so I think I’m safe!”
Some Guys Just Can’t Take ‘No’ For An Answer
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“I was at a friend’s house when their friend showed up. He kept saying he wanted to go to an amusement park but had nobody to go with (heavily hinting towards me). My friend suggested the guy take me, but I told him I was too broke to go. He offered to pay and I said no a few times. He insisted more so I said, ‘Ok if you insist… But this is NOT a date and we are just going as friends.’ He said he understood.
He did not.
On the way to the amusement park, he kept telling me how beautiful I was and tried to hold my hand. I continued to tell him, ‘I said we were going as friends.’
He said, ‘Of course!’ But when we were waiting in lines for rides, he kept trying to kiss me and hold my hand again. I turned my head and slapped his hand away I don’t know how many times, but he continued to persist. Eventually, I just pretended not to feel good and he took me home.
He tried to message me on Facebook the next day and ask me out on a date. I told him I was not interested in dating him, as I had explained before. I told him we could be friends though. After I rejected him, he called me just about every offensive name he could before blocking me. Good riddance.”
He Ruined Her Much Anticipated Trip With One, Stupid Moment
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“I had a very difficult and traumatic ending to a long-term, live-in engagement. He went to jail, so I decided to go to Europe to backpack for the summer. My male best friend agreed to come along. He was very aware this was a post-breakup getaway and the goal was to clear my head and have fun.
My friend flew out ahead of me to visit family. When I arrived at the airport in Europe, I saw him waiting for me on bended knee, ring and flowers and all. I guess in his mind, it was the perfect cliche movie moment to begin our lives together, but I was furious and friendship was destroyed. He had ten years to speak up about his secret love for me, but felt that the very first moment I step foot on European soil to begin my newfound freedom and let go of it all was the absolute best moment to inform me that he had lied, essentially, about our platonic friendship for a decade and wanted an immediate transition to lifelong partners, right then and there.
The vacation was equal parts horrendously awkward, tense, and amazing, but it ended with him ranting about the proposal again in a hostel one night after excessively drinking. He ultimately became physically aggressive toward me. Luckily, a group of stranger hostel bunkies helped me quietly pack my stuff after he finally passed out, and got me to the airport and home immediately. I haven’t seen him since, about eight years now.”
“He Permanantely Damaged My Friendships With Several People”
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“There was a guy in high school who had a crush on me. He was never shy about it and from day one, he made me feel really uncomfortable. He’d ask me out multiple times a day, always in front of my friends (who didn’t help because they’d always egg me on to go out with him – I was the new kid in school and they’d all been friends with him since elementary school).
When I kept saying no, he assumed it was because I was seeing someone else, so he started telling people I was sleeping with random guys in school (I wasn’t, I had no interest in dating any of the boys I went to high school with). Any time I tried to tell him to stop doing that he, and anyone else around for that matter, said he was just joking and I needed to lighten up.
It all came to a head at the homecoming dance my junior year. He was a senior, so it was his last homecoming. Apparently, the day before homecoming he told one of my friends that he’d asked me to the dance and I said yes. He had not asked me. I never had any intention of going to the dance. He kept going on to my friend about how special he wanted it to be, that he spent all his money on tickets, gas, new shoes and a corsage. My friend was so excited for him that she went over to his house the day of homecoming and helped him get everything ready. She also told all our friends what was going on, so EVERYONE was under the impression I was going to the dance with him. Let me also add, no one checked with ME that I was going to the dance, so this was all going on without my knowledge.
He told everyone that I was going to get dropped off by my parents, so he and all my friends waited outside for me. They waited for three hours. Apparently, any time my friends told him to come inside and that I wasn’t coming, he’d start tearing up and say, ‘Just five more minutes.’
So, of course, I showed up to school on Monday and everyone was FURIOUS at me. None of my friends wanted to talk to me. I sat alone at lunch for three days, completely confused about what was going on before some girl I’d never talked to before asked me why I’d stood this guy up.
So I went up to the guy when he was alone, asked what he’d done, and he just started laughing hysterically and said, ‘If you agree to go out with me, I’ll tell everyone it was just a misunderstanding.’
Never talked to the guy again. It permanently damaged my friendships with several people because they thought I was a massive butthead to this guy who they thought was really sweet.”
He Was A Total Jekyll And Hyde
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“I was at a bar with some college friends and they introduced me to their roommate, who was already smashed. He bought me a drink and kept calling me Katniss (I was wearing a braid) and dancing. He was quite cute and friendly, so I didn’t mind the flirting, but he was a bit odd from the beginning. When the bar closed, we decided to head to their house with a large group of people. The plan was drinks, Mario Kart, etc. I was with a bunch of people I knew so I felt really safe.
As soon as we got there, the nice guy invited me to his room. I politely declined and suggested we chill with the group. He nagged me a little more, but I continued to decline. Then he went into a RAGE and demanded that I come to his room immediately because he paid for my drinks and I owed him. At first, I thought surely he was joking, but he grabbed my arm and tried to tug me toward his room. I broke free and he went to his room to sulk while my friends and I stared in shock. We all decided to go to my friend’s room to smoke and watch a movie while I waited for my Uber. Within a minute or two, the creepy guy appeared at the door and said, ‘Are you freaking kidding me?!’ Presumably, because I was in another guy’s bed (platonically, with like 3 other people). He tried demanding that I join him in his room again before my friend locked him out.
My friend had to walk me to my Uber because I was afraid to leave the house with that psycho waiting for me to exit.”
“I Worry About What Could Have Happened”
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“A ‘nice guy’ coworker and his roommate (also my coworker) and I all got together to drink one night. I get sad when I drink, so I ended up bawling out on the balcony.
I was in a relationship going downhill fast and I was really struggling with it. ‘Nice guy’ decided that me bawling on his balcony was a great time to tell me that he doesn’t understand why I’m still with my boyfriend and that I should date him instead. When I started crying harder, he then tried to make me feel sad for him by telling me how his ex-fiancée ‘slept with a bunch of black dudes’ and that he could have been a famous guitarist if his band mate didn’t blow a legit record deal. He kept going on about how he’s such a nice guy and nothing ever works for him, nice guys always finish last, life sucks, blah blah blah. One of the last times we hung out, he showed me like 15-20 minutes of recordings of his band playing concerts for high school dances, like I was supposed to be impressed.
This conversation went nowhere fast and I still had work at 7:30 am. By that point, it was about 3 or 4 am. I hadn’t slept and I am way too smashed. I definitely was not able to drive home. I didn’t have anyone who could come pick me up, so I decided sleeping on the couch would be best.
He told me to take his bed and he’d take the couch. At that point, I was worried about waking up with him touching me and claiming that I wanted it. So I said no and that I was taking the couch.
I laid down on the couch and he tried to lie down with me. Nope.
I told him to get off the couch and go to sleep. He argued with me for about half an hour about sleeping on the freaking couch. BRUH, I NEED TO SLEEP BEFORE WORK, SHUT UP AND GO AWAY.
I got up to go talk to his roommate because I was sick of this, and he wasn’t listening to me. He outweighed me by a good 60-75 pounds and decided to push me by my shoulders toward his room. Predictably, I wasn’t strong enough to stay in place. He got me about 20 feet across the apartment and I clung to the door frame like my life depended on it.
Him: ‘Take my bed.’
Me: ‘NO!’
Him: ‘Take my bed!’
Me: ‘GET OFF ME!’
Him: ‘Sleep in my bed.’
Me: ‘NO. I’m sleeping on the couch. Let go.’
Him: ‘You need to sleep in my bed.’
Me: ‘NO. LET GO. NOW.’
I was about to scream his roommate’s name at like 4:30 am because I thought this was turning into a freaking assault. But he finally let me go, went into his room, and I took the couch.
I worry about what would have happened if he got me past the door frame.”
Spiderman Saved The Day
“I was trying to leave a frat party and the two guys ‘guarding’ the closet claimed it was a house rule that girls have to give them their phone number to get their coats. This was not a place I was familiar with and it was a narrow hallway tucked out of the way from the rest of the party. The guys were larger than me and really trashed. They kept trying to sweet talk me into staying upstairs with them instead because they’re so nice. Since they had been so nice to make sure no one stole our things at the party, they said, we had to pay them back. One guy even said I could just flash him instead.
I gave them my number and when a guy started to text me I only responded with Spiderman memes until he gave up. Thankfully, I never saw them again.”
The Difference Between ‘Nice Guys’ And Guys Who Are Actually Nice
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“I was at a party with some new classmates. There were probably 60 people in one house not made for 60 people. The party dwindled down to about 20 early on because we had class the next day, but a good group of people were willing to stick around to drink and get to know one another.
A ‘nice guy’ went around getting orders so we could make a drink run and I agreed to help. Originally, it was me and two other girls and two boys going. I don’t know what happened, but Nice Guy had changed it around a bit and I was the only girl who went. I didn’t notice this until we were in the parking garage when it was just me alone with three guys.
To paint a picture, I’m 5’5″ and not strong. I don’t know any self-defense or anything.
Nice Guy said something to the effect of, ‘Wow you’re pretty dumb. There’s three of us and one of you…us guys could have a lot of fun with that,’ and looked at the other two guys for approval of his plan.
I went white. I didn’t know any of these guys and I had completely left myself open to being attacked.
Thank God the driver (burliest of the three dudes) looked at him and then at me and said, ‘Did you just try and get us to agree to attack her? Get away from her and if I see you around her or alone with a girl again, you’ll be peeing blood.’
The other guy with us, who also looked appropriately horrified at Nice Guy’s suggestion, agreed and said he’d be happy to call his girlfriend to come down here and walk me back to the party.
Turns out that not all nice guys look nice and not everyone who looks and acts like a nice guy is a nice guy.
The driver of the drink run and I are now married and have babies. He’s obviously a very nice, good guy.”
His Side Of The Story Was Far From What Really Happened
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“I knew this kid in 9th grade who seemed like a nice enough dude. Let’s call him Frank. We became friends over our mutual love of video games. He seemed to be a lot more invested in the friendship, but like I said, he seemed harmless. One day, I invited him over to my house to play games on my Playstation. We had a good enough time even though he continuously talked about how he’s so happy to have a friend who likes video games AND is a girl. Red flag, I know.
I got to school the next day and during class, my friends told me that Frank went and bragged to anyone that would hear that I invited him over and that he heard I was easy, so he brought a rubber ‘just in case.’ Being an angry and petty teenager, I walked up to him during lunch period, in front of a bunch of guys, and called him out for what he said. He started stuttering, but before he could finish, I told him he was a creep and to never talk to me again.
A few months later, I got called into the vice principal’s office. When I get there, she asked me if I was friends with Frank. I responded that we used to be. She asked what ended our friendship and I explained the situation to her. She looked at me and said, ‘That’s not what he told us, but I think I know who’s telling the truth.’
It turns out that after I ended our friendship, Frank fixated on another girl, only to discover she had a boyfriend. Frank decided the best course of action to get rid of the boyfriend was to pull a knife on the kid in the hallway and threaten him. Security, of course, got him and discovered he only had a butter knife. Still, he threatened someone, so he was called into the principal’s’ office. Where he then explained that the only reason he pulled the knife on this guy was because he was so heartbroken after I dumped him following our ‘six-month anniversary’ and fell in love with this other girl because she ‘treated him right.’
He got suspended, but since it was close to the end of the school year, he just never came back and transferred schools the following school year. Good riddance.”
“It Was A Complete Destruction Of Trust”
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“He was considered one of the ‘nicest guys’ in high school. He was super bubbly and kind to everyone and loved to help people out and give people hugs. Everyone compared him to a teddy bear.
Because we were in almost all the same classes, we would chat on the phone about homework and projects. Eventually, we became friends and would chat about things like our goals after high school, life, our families and other teenage stuff.
Slowly, things started to change and he started to show more of a dark and controlling side. He confessed that he liked me one night at my house and I told him that I didn’t feel the same way. He kept pressing me on why and accused me of being shallow. I told him again and again that I didn’t think we had chemistry, but he kept with the accusations until I forcibly asked him to leave.
As he was standing at my door putting on his shoes, he looked at me and said, ‘I wonder what it’s like.’
‘What what’s like?’ I responded.
‘To kiss you.’
He then grabbed me by the arms and pulled me in slowly while the whole time I was saying ‘No, no, I don’t think this is a good idea,’ and struggled to pull away. Unfortunately, his grip was too strong and finally, he forcibly kissed me.
Honestly, for someone who claimed to be my best friend, it was a complete destruction of trust. I still feel disgusted and sad when I think about it. This is just one of the many things that happened where he exerted power over me before I cut him out of my life. Sigh.”