Women Share The Most Messed Up Thing Their MIL Ever Said To Them

They say the greater the guy, the worse his mother is. These women have first-hand experiences to back up that theory. Women reveal the messed up things their MILs have said to them.

She Was A Terror Even Before The Wedding

“My mother-in-law wrote her son a letter a week before we got married telling him to think very carefully about what he was doing, as he needed to be sure he was marrying someone he loved and trusted.

She later walked out of our wedding in tears, drove home without saying anything to anyone, and then followed that up by emailing me saying she didn’t know what her son saw in me.

I refused to have anything to do with her until she apologized to me. It was a year of no contact from her at all. But then I got pregnant, and she came crawling back. We have built a relationship of sorts now, though I feel she still hates me but doesn’t want to do anything to jeopardize the detente we’ve reached in case we don’t let her see our daughter anymore.

I still don’t let her babysit. Whenever we invite her over for dinner, she texts me a list of what she wants to eat. I refuse, on principle, to have her dictate what I make so I just ignore it. Even if I’d planned soup, as soon as she texts I will make curry instead, and no cake at all. Forget her!”–

>>> “I went to the ballet the other night to see The Nutcracker with my MIL. This conversation ensued:

MIL: Aren’t the ballerinas lovely?

ME: Yes, they are.

MIL: Were you in ballet?

ME: No, unfortunately, I was not.

MIL: Yes that sounds right.

I pause. Say nothing. ‘What does that mean?’ I’m thinking.

MIL: They take really good care of their bodies.

My MIL is a huge A-hole.”–

>>> “My MIL either hates me or she’s really dumb. Here are some examples:

MIL: ‘I heard this diet works really well. You should try it.’

I got engaged and showed her my gorgeous engagement ring: ‘Well that’s cute.’

While we were planning the wedding it was always ‘If you guys get married.’

Every time I see her at a family gathering: ‘Oh, are you guys still married?'”–

>>> “My MIL is a witch. When we started dating, she told me how much she liked Nicole (his ex) and that she’ll be a lawyer. When we planned our wedding, she tried to force her cheesy, tasteless ideas on us. She tried to blackmail us with ‘If X is invited then I won’t come!’

Shortly after our wedding: ‘Are you still on the pill? I hope you are, I’m too young to be a grandma!’ Three years later: ‘Why oh why won’t you give me grandchildren?!’

During pregnancy, I received so many weird tips I can’t even remember. It was all a big ‘It’s your fault if something goes wrong.’ Two days after the baby was born: ‘Are you sure there isn’t another one in there? That belly sure is still big. MINE went away immediately.’ And in general: she knows it ALL because ‘I’ve seen it on TV.'”

>>> “My serious long-term boyfriend of several years’ mother did not like me. Because I was not Indian. We have since broken up, primarily because of issues with his mother. He’s now engaged to a lovely Indian pharmacist and I’m pleased they’re both happy.

While I never met the woman (she refused), the most memorable quote I know came from her was after she hacked into my significant other’s e-mail to discover we were spending a weekend together in New York City. She forbid us from even staying in the same hotel because ‘What if your future wife is upset she’s not the first person you spent a night in a hotel with.'”

She Gives Her “The Look”

>>> “For me, it’s not the things she says, it’s the things she doesn’t say. She sort of gives ‘the look’ a lot and doesn’t respond to things. Mostly about my weight. Examples:

Her: So, have you been taking my son to church?

Me: No, we are not religious, besides he doesn’t want to attend. Cue the look.

Her: So, I called Son and he says your pants size is 10. That right?

Me: Yeah, an 8 or a 10. Cue the look.

Her: That (cue the look) outfit is new.

Me: I bought it last week. Cue the look.

Her: So, Sister-in-law has been losing weight recently. There’s a gym at the community college.

Me: Great! Glad to hear she’s reaching her goals. Cue the look.

It’s got to the point where I hear the look on the phone.”–

>>> “I said the word ‘lesbian’ during a conversation in front of my (now ex) MIL and my then 2-year-old daughter. MIL flipped out and yelled that I’d make my kid gay if I said that word in front of her too many times.”–

>>> “This wasn’t said to me directly. When my fiancé let his parents know that he was planning on marrying me, the conversation went like this:

SO: Mom. Dad. I want to let you know that I really love [me]. More than anyone I’ve been with in my life. And that I really think I want to marry her.

SO’s Mom: Really? You love her more than you loved Amy?

SO: Wait… what? Seriously? Did you seriously just say that?

SO’s Mom (getting weepy): I really loved Amy. I miss Amy…

Amy is the girlfriend my SO dumped six years ago. SIX YEARS AGO. Later, he chewed his mom out and told her how offended he was. She said she just ‘wanted to check to make sure.’

We get along now. Once that ring was on my finger, she realized that Amy wasn’t coming back (Amy is married and has two children now. Amy is never coming back) and that I am her only real hope at grandchildren. Funny how those things work!”–

>>> “My MIL is a real peach. First and foremost, she’s terrible mother in the first place. She doesn’t want any of her children to do better in life than she does and gets really bitter and catty if any of them have anything nicer than her. She also has some messed up views on marriage, as if divorce is an eventuality (she’s on her third, by the way). And to top it off, she’s one of those ‘no woman could ever possibly love my son as much as I do’ type of women but puts absolutely zero effort into their relationship.

Everything I’ve ever done for my husband is specifically designed to ‘make her look bad.’ I’m trying to ‘keep her from having a relationship with her grandchildren’ as if it’s MY responsibility to ensure she has a relationship with my kids. She finally told my husband that I was trying to erase her from our lives and gave him the whole ‘her or me’ ultimatum. She even had his two sisters on the bandwagon. He didn’t speak to any of them for almost two years.

She finally apologized and is doing better. But she still has a dramatic meltdown every few months because I ‘hate’ her. She has no clue that I’m wary of her because I never know if she’ll twist anything I say or do to make it appear as if I’m victimizing her. Christmas is going to be exhausting.”

Her Viewpoint On Tampons…

>>> “My ex MIL thought that only irrepressible women wore tampons and that tampons could make you want to do it too much, so they were best avoided so as not to have illicit desires at improper times. She was appalled when I went grocery shopping with her sister and bought tampons. Apparently, I embarrassed her. I wish I was joking.”–

>>> “Me: He is always on the go and just never stops. He is always into mischief (talking about my then 2-year-old son) MIL: At least you don’t have to worry about him turning out gay.

MIL (about my nephew): They just don’t give him enough attention. If I had him for a weekend, he wouldn’t have ‘autism’ anymore.

MIL (about her midwife when having my SO): She was a lesbian. She had long, dyed red hair and earrings all along her lobe. How on earth am I meant to comfortably give birth knowing that she was looking at me down there and probably was getting turned on.”–

>>> “Somehow the topic of mental health came up when I was sitting with my boyfriend and his parents in their lounge one night. Lot’s of things came out of their (mostly the MIL) mouths that mar my ability to respect them, to this day.

On the topic of my sister having Borderline Personality Disorder and how it negatively affects her day to day life: I don’t believe in these things, the old lady across the road would often tell us that [my bf’s brother] has a mental illness, when he was just acting like a typical boy.’

What I’m thinking, but can’t say: ‘An old lady’s gripe with your son is not the same as a psychiatrist making a professional diagnosis, you idiot.’ I also had to explain to her that depression is just like any other chronic illness, in that it needs to be tended to and medicated.

Then there’s the annoying inability to accept that technology is a great benefit to our lives. Boyfriend and I went on a road trip with them when they came to visit us in a country they’ve never been to before, she point-blank refused to take my directional advice from Google Maps. No, she had to use the outdated physical map in her hands.”–

>>> “MIL: I tried to abort [my husband] but the doctor said I had medical complications, so I decided to keep him instead. I wish I hadn’t.

Me: You know. he’s standing right there.

MIL: I’m mad I didn’t get an invite to your courthouse wedding.

Me: I called you. Twice.

MIL: Well I was in the hospital with a broken knee and wrist. You’re rude

Me: I’m ok with this.

(There’s a reason she’s not allowed to come around very often, and only with FIL, so he shuts her up most of the time.)”–

>>> “SO’s mom is a saint – his stepmom on the other hand. She’s said I was ruining his life at one point.

Her: YOU need to be supportive of him.

Me: Actually, I’m probably the most supportive of him.

I think the worst thing though was last Christmas, it was his dad, step-mom and her two sons, and my SO and myself. They gave us all cards with our names on the front, and mine was the only one without a heart around it. The new girlfriend of her son got this heartfelt message. I just got a Merry Christmas, love x&x. I’ve been around the longest and I don’t know why that stung so much. I had to go to the bathroom to cry.”

She Was Being Pushy When They Just Needed Time With Their Son

>>> “My son was born four months early and spent the first two months wasting away. My husband took leave from his college job and withdrew from courses that semester after he missed the first week of class because I was in the hospital three hours away trying to cherish as much time possible. Nearly every day for two months, she would call him and tell him that he needed to go back to school and that he was breaking her heart. Two months in, she was telling him to go back to school even though he told her he wanted to spend every day possible with his ailing son and no college is going to cater to someone who missed the first two weeks of school, let alone the first two months.

It got to the point where it was causing even more stress in our already stressful lives. He would hang up on her and she would literally call back 10 times in a row. We got to our breaking points, and I told him that if our son passed away we would split because I could never respect his mother. If our son made it, I would be nice to her, but I would never be best friends with her or have any sort of close relationship. Our son pulled through, but I still resent his mother for all of that unnecessary pain in an already dark period.”–

>>> “Some recent gems: ‘Don’t you think the baby needs a helmet – it seems like her head is a weird shape.’ And then she mentioned it over and over and over until I finally snapped and told her that the pediatrician thinks the baby’s head is just fine.

‘Have you ever tried being nice?’ This was during a conversation with her while my partner was having an Aspergers-related meltdown. She had been under the impression that the only reason her son had anger issues was because I must just be mean to him all day every day.

‘We were thinking about selling the house and moving somewhere with lower taxes, but if you can’t afford to live in a gated community, you have to live with the black people.’

‘How much do you feed this baby? Is she too fat already? Aren’t you worried she’ll turn out like you?'”–

>>> “My ex’s mother: ‘I’m sure he’ll find a nice Japanese girl to marry!’ (To me, on the eve of his departure for a two-month research trip to Japan, three weeks after our fourth anniversary.)

And then I met her best friend, who I got on very well with. I overheard them talking, and the friend said ‘She isn’t horrible at all! I think you’re overreacting to something.’

Oh hey and that time she told us that a family wedding was Pinterest rustic, and we turned up to find it was black tie. She was willing to humiliate him to make sure I looked bad. I found my ex’s gossipy aunt and told her in strict confidence how mortified we were by what she’d said, and apologized to the bride.”–

>>> “We’re not married yet, so she’s not really my MIL, but we are engaged, so she’s going to be within the next two years or so. We don’t talk anymore, but she has said all sorts of horrible things about me. She’s called me crazy, a tramp, tells my fiance to break up with me all the time, and loves spreading rumors about me that have no basis in reality. For example, she told everyone I was pregnant, that I was still contacting my ex, and that I am using my fiance and will dump him when I’m ‘done with him.’ Sigh.”

His Whole Family Is Messed Up

>>> “My SO and I lived in Texas. His family lived in Illinois. I had met his mother and father once before we got engaged.

FIL (when my SO told him he was going to propose to me) – ‘Well, son, she’s a lot of fun but are you sure you want to marry her?’

MIL (when I went to visit them for the first time after we got engaged. We had been living together for 4 years) – ‘You know men won’t buy the cow if they get the milk for free.’

SO’s brother’s girlfriend ( the same visit as above, I’d never met her before) – ‘You know [MIL] will try to break you up right? She did that to me.’

SO’s 19-year-old sister (same visit as above) – she didn’t say anything to me, but she did tell her parents that SO and I had relations while they were out of the house and that she was disgusted by our behavior. Yep, I still married him.”–

>>> “At a Chinese food restaurant, MIL: ‘Why don’t you take home the leftovers, you’re good at eating leftovers.’

Luckily everyone at the table realized it was ridiculous and now I get the leftovers every time by reminding her that I’m good at eating them.”–

>>> “MIL (to her son/my husband): ‘Oh! You have a little stain on your shirt. You must have gotten grease on it while you were cooking.’

Husband: ‘Yep. You’re right. I’m sure it’ll come out.’

MIL (to me): ‘When you wash it, all you have to do is X, Y, then Z.’ (I don’t remember her specific instructions.)

Me: ‘I don’t do his laundry for him, so tell it to him!’

MIL (to me): ‘Oh.’ (Accompanied by ‘the look.’)

MIL (to him): ‘Should I be getting you an apron for Christmas?’

Because God forbid her adult son clean his own clothes, apparently. She also refuses to accept that I kept my name. I have dozens of uncashable checks in a drawer somewhere because she makes them out to the wrong last name. We tell her every time that I can’t cash them, she doesn’t care. And she keeps buying me monogrammed stuff with the wrong monogram on it. I’m getting monogrammed boot warmers this year. Yay.”–

>>> “My EX MIL for you: ‘You know, I’m ready.’ Basically implying that my husband and I should have a child because she’s ready – like that’s all that matters. When my ex-husband was unemployed, which was often and by choice, she would call every single day. ‘Is he looking for a job today? Because he needs to be looking for a job!’ Meanwhile, she would continue to enable his childish behavior by paying all of our bills and never saying anything to him directly.

‘I found evidence that she kept her in a cage.’ She said this about my parenting skills during her deposition for our divorce hearing. The ‘cage’ she’s referring to was a playpen. My favorite, though, is something she told my ex-husband when he was a child. She told him not to go near a praying mantis because they would spit acid into his eyes.”–

>>> “We are not married yet. My parents live in another country, so they did not meet my SO until we have dated for almost two years. The first time my SO met my mom, my mom told her ‘When the two of you start having kids, I want you to send the kids to live with me. I will then return them after they are old enough.’ Awkward.”

She Insults Her Intelligence, Tattoos, And Health!

>>> “Me: ‘I’m not a fan of football.’

MIL: ‘Well, only intelligent people like football.’

MIL: ‘I just don’t understand why a pretty girl would get tattoos, she looks so trashy! Oh, not you, Nikki.’

MIL: ‘Are you sure you’re going to be able to have healthy babies with all the medication you take?’

She hates me. I hate her.”–

>>> “Ex MIL: ‘Any woman who doesn’t think motherhood is a gift from God and isn’t interested in procreation, is probably a closet lesbian.’

Ex MIL after finding out I told my boyfriend that you couldn’t get ink poisoning from writing a number on your hand with a BIC pen: ‘It doesn’t matter if what I say was a lie because a mother’s lies to her children are truths.’

God, I don’t miss that woman.

Current FIL: ‘How come you aren’t wearing a bikini, that’s what men like. You don’t want to get too skinny because men will be afraid to break you, but you got to stay slim or he’ll get the wandering eye.’ And this was the first time I met him. I also saw him naked, he was belligerently wasted several nights, and told me all about his prostate and the health of his member.'”–

>>> “My MIL is obsessed with us having kids while still trying to be the ‘cool mom.’

Scene: Family party, husband’s cousin’s son just grew out of his playpen. I see my MIL and an aunt hauling the playpen to my MIL’s car.

MIL to me: ‘Oh, I know I will need this someday – but no pressure!’

My husband is like my FIL, so the MIL knows about their habits.

Scene: In the car going Christmas shopping, just to two of us.

MIL: ‘I know you want to finish school and some things before you have kids, but I wonder if [my husband’s] smoking is cutting down his count.’ I just sat there awkwardly.”–

>>> “Where do I start? Do I start with the inappropriate dinner conversations where she talks about finding her son (my husband) in bed with the ex-wife, in front of dinner guests? The time she offered to pay for the paint to remodel the kids’ bathroom and then told everyone at Lowe’s the only time we go anywhere with her is when we want something/money?

Or the time I grounded the kids for being entitled turds and she waited until I went to work and took them out for a day on the town behind my back and bought them a bunch of stuff (roughly $1,000) they didn’t earn or deserve. My MIL, while she loves me and does a lot of ‘nice’ things for me, she does a lot of underhanded, sneaky crappy things to me that make me want to burn her house down with her in it. Yes, I called my kids turds. Sometimes they are.”

Her Sister’s MIL Thinks Cheating Is Okay

>>> “My sister recently discovered her husband’s string of affairs (at least six since they’ve been together, seven if you count the woman he was already dating when he started pursuing my sister. She had no idea). They’re in the process of divorcing.

Her mother-in-law told her last week ‘You two are just meant to be together. I mean, I cheated on my husband when we first got married. We split up for a while but came back together. And we’ve both carried on with other people over the years, but when it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. You’ll both do some awful stuff to each other in your lives, but you just gotta learn to live with it. It’ll get easier in time.’

And she wonders why her son had no qualms about cheating? And she can’t understand why my sister doesn’t want to raise her own son in that environment? Ticks me off so bad.”–

>>> “My former MIL and FIL take me out to dinner – to be told at the end of it (by FIL while MIL stared right at me) that I had a little over a month to move out of the condo I rented from them because ‘They didn’t want to be landlords anymore’ and deal with the taxes and stuff that went with it, and proceeds to hand me a magazine with a list of places for rent.

Not unusual right? Well, their son (my husband), died almost THREE months prior to this. I’m crying and she had the nerve to say that my crying made her uncomfortable. Later I’ve heard different versions as to why she did what she did but what people have said once they heard about it was always the same ‘That witch!'”–

>>> “My MIL pulled me aside during our goodbyes before my husband and I moved out of state for him to attend grad school, and said ‘I really want to you be nice to Amanda and at least PRETEND you don’t hate her so much, because if the relationship between my sons is ruined because of you, I’ll never get over it.’

Amanda is my BIL’s girlfriend. They’re living together off of an allowance my FIL gives them, she lied about her age (and was 17 when they started dating, while my BIL was 22 at the time), her favorite show is Cops and she constantly begs my MIL to spend money on her, calls her curse words to her face, talks openly about doing the deed with my BIL in front of the entire family, and also about her bullying behavior and theft that has gotten her in trouble with the police before.

But oh, you’re going to lecture ME, you actual daughter-in-law, who ISN’T a high school drop-out living off of your finances, a chronic liar, and verbally abusive about ‘keeping the peace?!’

This super ticked me off and my attitude towards my MIL has never been the same since then. I understand she must think I’m the responsible one able to control my behavior better but to imply that if my husband and his brother have an argument, it will be MY fault? Too far, lady. Too far.”–

>>> “Shortly after the hubs and I got back from our honeymoon, we went over to see his parents. Bear in mind that his parents are ultra-religious and ultra-conservative. This is one of the many delightful conversations that was had:

Me: (Looking at a vase on the counter, I spy the silk roses, filled with birdseed, from our wedding) ‘Oh cool! I see you got some of the silk roses my cousin made for the wedding.’

MIL: ‘Oh yes, we figured Tim could use them for his next wedding.’

Me: Hahaha! That’s so funny, but the only way he’s leaving me is in a bag…’

Needless to say, MIL is not too fond of me. And even less so almost 16 years later.”