Women Share The Most Hurtful Thing A Man Has Ever Said To Them

Women have a reputation for making catty remarks, but that doesn't mean that men don't make their fair share of cruel remarks. These women have thought back to the meanest things men ever have said to them. How could they be so cruel?

A Crush Hurt Her Feelings, But Her Father Crushed Her Spirit

>>> “My crush a couple years ago: ‘If you cut your hair short, you’d look just like a guy because you have no chest.’

At the time, I was offended. But the most hurtful thing a man has said to me was:

‘Your boyfriend is really smart and that’s how he was able to do med school, but I just don’t think that’s you. Med school is too hard for girls. My friend is a doctor, and he said he would never recommend that path for his own daughter.’ This was said by my dad.”

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Their Friendship Was Ruined By One Casually, Cruel Remark

>>> “I was pretty overweight in high school. I had a friend, let’s call him Joe. I had baked Joe some cookies for his birthday, and as he was trying one, he told me that he pulled a muscle mowing his lawn. I asked to have a look at it and tried a little shoulder massage to make it feel better. He then said to me, ‘Wow, cookies and a massage? I would totally marry you if I never had to turn around.’ It broke my heart a little bit. I took my hands off him and took a step back.

One of his other friends overheard this and said something like, ‘Man, what is wrong with you?’ Not a good day. After his friend scolded him, he quickly apologized. After that comment, we didn’t hang out much. This was almost 10 years ago. I am in a loving relationship with my boyfriend of three years. At my heaviest, I topped out around 260-270 lbs and I have lost around 50 to 60 lbs, with another 50 lbs to go to my goal.”

When Being Just “One Of The Guys” Backfires

>>> “Not intentionally hurtful, but there was a multitude of guys during junior high and high school that saw me as a sister, or ‘just one of the guys.’ Although it was cool to have guy friends and have them all feel super comfortable around me, it sucked to hear that from one of my crushes, especially when it would be immediately followed by talking to me about the girls they liked.

A few choice sentiments:

‘I mean, you’re just not really the ‘girlfriend’ type, you know?’

‘You’re not ugly, but you’re not really pretty either, you know what I mean? Like, I don’t even really think of you as a girl.’

‘I wish more girls could be like you. Like, your personality and sense of humor, but also like, hot, you know?’

The late 90s and early 2000s were a wonderful time.”

After That Second Night, They Way They Treated Her Wildly Different

>>> “I went to Italy after high school as a graduation present. I met up with some people (guys and girls) from our tour group, and we went out drinking together. I was outgoing but inexperienced; no underage drinking except at family dinners, only one real boyfriend in high school (only got to first base), never went to parties, etc. So the first night we go out, I was reserved because I didn’t know these people very well. I only had a sip or two of some spirits and coke (for the taste) and ended up hanging out with the two guys in our group (better than the girls). They decided I was pretty cool, so I got invited out again the second night.

The second night, I was feeling much more comfortable, so I drank a lot more. This was the first time I’ve ever been really and truly wasted before (something like a half bottle of red over the course of a few hours; I’m a 115-pound girl). We met up with some other guys, and I ended up flirting with one of them the whole night. We ended the evening on a bridge in front of the hotel, and I thought, ‘What the heck? I’m wasted, I’m in a foreign country, it’s a beautiful night in Venice,’ so I threw caution to the wind and started making out with the boy I’ve been flirting with.

I don’t know if this made the guys I was hanging out with the night before jealous, or if they were just jerks, but the next night we went out drinking for a third time. They started laughing about the night before, and suddenly they’re talking about how easy I am. I asked incredulously if they were calling me a bimbo. One of the guys said he ‘didn’t think I was that kind of girl.’ They basically stopped treating me with any kind of respect and began treating me like the other girls in the group, as though I were an airhead.

I was so mortified, humiliated, and angry. The worst part was that I was still young and naive, and instead of having the self-respect to leave that group of jerks, I spent the rest of the night flirting with one of them, as though hooking up with him could restore my pride. On the bright side, I learned a good lesson about self-respect and keeping your wits about you while drinking. Of all the things that happened to me during those wonderful 10 days in Italy, that’s one of the lines that stuck with me the most: ‘I didn’t think you were that kind of girl.’

Don’t ever waste your time with a guy who makes you feel stupid or inferior. I’m begging you to learn to have some self-respect; you are so much better than them and you don’t deserve to be treated like garbage.”

It Was One Of The Darkest Days Of Her Life, And That’s When They Struck

>>> “I was chunky growing up. I’ve lost a ton of weight, but throughout middle school and high school, people loved to make fun of the way I looked.

My grandmother died when I was in the seventh grade. At school the next day, I ended up crying during the lunch break. A guy that I had a crush on said, ‘She wouldn’t be crying if she had some cheeseburgers in front of her.’ That one sucked.

Another was an ex-boyfriend who successfully gaslighted me for many years. I remember him telling me that I was impossible to love, and no one would ever so much as tolerate me long enough for me to have a real relationship. I’m now engaged, have a decent apartment, and a vehicle. The last I heard from him, he accidentally attached me to one of the emails he was sending his father-in-law. The email was him just whining about his quality of life and complaining that they had the audacity to ask him for gas money. Ha.”

Three Little Words Broke Her Heart

>>> “We’d been having a hard time, and at the end of an argument, I said to him, ‘You don’t love me anymore? Is that it?’

He quietly answered, ‘I don’t know.’

Broke. My. Heart.

I actually ended up staying after he told me that he really didn’t think what he was saying. We’re still together. We sorted everything out, and everything is absolutely great and better than ever.

It’s been a year since he said that, but thinking about that just makes me feel so betrayed and alone. What if he really meant it and still feels that way and the only reason he’s even with me is that he’s too good of a guy to dump me.”

He Told Her She’d Never Achieve Her Dreams

>>> “An ex-boyfriend told me I was too stupid to get a Ph.D. He was in the same field as me with the same plans. It’s stupid, but he told me this when I was a teenager, and it stuck with me for years. I finally did get a Ph.D., and those words repeated in my head every night in the few months before my defense. That ultimately I am stupid and a failure. It was seriously the closest I have ever been to having what people would call a mental breakdown. I don’t even remember my defense.

I would say that after passing all my issues, went away, but then I realized it’s more of a general insecurity and self-esteem issue I have and that I need to work on that and it isn’t just his fault. Though he is still a jerk.”

They’d Been Teasing Her For Months, But That Was The Worst Thing They’d Done

>>> “When I was 12 years old, I was the resident nerdy kid: glasses, smart, nose always in a book. I tended to keep to myself because I’d found it was the best way to not draw attention to myself. I was very quiet and was self-conscious about reading aloud in front of the class because they’d giggle and make fun of the way I spoke.

Since our teachers didn’t care about actually teaching most of the time, we were left to our own devices one Friday afternoon, so I just read a book like usual. The teacher wasn’t present for whatever reason, so someone started writing that I was a lesbian on the chalkboard. I got up to erase it, and then gave up because when I looked up again it had reappeared. This was par for the course. It was the usual antics, and I had learned it was just better not to draw any more attention to myself than I had to.

But then one of the boys in my class approached my desk. I leaned back because that was my natural reaction at this point. I was already expecting some form of abuse. But he looked me right in the eyes and said, ‘Girl, you fine.’

I was stunned. He’d said it so sincerely. I was legitimately stunned and totally speechless because they’d been making fun of me and how I looked for months now, so I was very confused.

And then all his friends just erupted in laughter, and he backed away from me looking very pleased with himself.

They’d been playing truth or dare. That had been his dare.

I still don’t know exactly why this sticks with me this way. It was just so incredibly crushing because they’d been making fun of me and my appearance for MONTHS. A lot of them would go as far as to behave downright repulsed by me. I look back now and I wasn’t an ugly kid. People called me pretty all the time. But to have someone approach you and make you the butt of a joke like that, it just destroyed me in a way that I hadn’t been yet. My confidence had already been smothered by that point but I think that moment effectively crushed it out of existence.

Of course, no one would ever find me attractive, what a joke.

I’m much better confidence wise now, but it took till college to get past the bullying I dealt with back then.”

He Tore Her Down For Years For His Own Benefit

>>> “I was with my ex for six years. It was one of the darkest times of my life, and I was severely depressed. He told me things that were untrue. For instance, he told me that I couldn’t hold a job, that I shouldn’t play sports anymore, that I didn’t need friends, all I needed was him, that I didn’t need to see a therapist, that I didn’t need to see my family, and so on. Obviously, this made me sadder. When you are told things like this over and over, you start to believe them. He was so controlling, he would never let me leave him. I tried to for years.

My New Year’s resolution for 2016 was to find the courage to leave him. When I finally got him to accept that we were broken up, he said the most hurtful thing. He said, ‘I have always been afraid your depression would get better, and you wouldn’t need me anymore, and then you would leave me.’

Basically, I was with him for six years while he actively did things to make sure my depression didn’t get better because he was afraid I would leave him.”

No One Wanted To Treat Her Like A Full Fledged Adult Because Of Her Disabilities

>>> “Where to start?

‘You’re just a good pair of sweater kittens. If I didn’t have to look at your face, you’d be amazing.’

‘You’re too innocent. Sleep around and get back to me,’ said to me by a guy I really liked.

‘I like you, but I just can’t date someone who is disabled. I don’t want to get a reputation as an assaulter, you know?’ All that’s ‘wrong’ with me is I’m partially deaf, have extremely mild cerebral palsy, and extremely mild Aspergers. Nobody notices any of these disabilities, so no reason for a ‘reputation.’ And I’m fully capable of consenting, thank you very much.”

When They Broke Up, He Unleashed His Full, Nasty Nature

>>> “This happened when I was 19 years old. My boyfriend at the time was a real piece of garbage.

Here are the things I was told that day that have stuck:

‘I hope the next guy treats you like the spoiled princess you think you are.’ I just wanted someone to be nice to me.

‘You know, you’ll never amount to anything. You’ll always be a cashier while X (the girl he had been talking to behind my back for six months and started dating three days after I moved out and broke it off with him) is in school to be a nurse.’

After he threw the $500 watch I was trying to get back from him across the yard, ‘Go pick that up.’

When I was finally leaving his house, I heard our dog we got together barking, and I looked up. He started yelling at me, ‘Say bye to Mom! You’ll never see her again!’

Oh, and one time on vacation, while I was getting ready for our date he said, ‘You know you’ve gained weight since we started dating.”

I’m 23 years old now and in a healthy relationship. I’ve bought myself a new car, I work for AAA, and I’ll have my own place in October. I can’t say he is in any different of a spot now than he was four years ago. He’s a real piece of crap.”

Middle School Boys Made Her Life A Living Nightmare

>>> “Boys in middle school were just as bad, if not worse, in terms of bullying me than girls. They were perfectly nice to the ‘pretty’ girls, but anyone awkward, shy, quiet, or ugly? Beware. This one kid, who was a horrible jerk to pretty much everyone, was having a blast tearing me down this one day. He found out I had a crush on this kid, and started hysterically laughing. He followed behind him, calling me hideous, worthless, and that the world would be better off if I killed myself. All right in front of my face.

This happened a few times with different boys doing it to me, but this incident was the worst. Not as bad, but almost as hurtful because it was much more publicized, was a few months earlier a different boy that I had a crush on asked me out as a joke in front of everyone because he knew I had a massive crush on him. Anyway, before I knew it was a joke and said, ‘Yes,’ he quickly turned around and started laughing and went on about how he was joking and how he’d never go out with that ugly girl.”

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Her Taste In Men Needs An Upgrade

>>> “Oh wow. It’s a tie.

The first comment was said to me by my first boyfriend, who used it as his reasoning for insulting me and constantly telling me how pretty other girls were. ‘I have to be this way with you because if I’m not, you’ll go downhill and get fatter and stop trying to look nice. You don’t really get there, but you need to at least try.’ In the end, he hit me because I ‘didn’t get it.’

The second was said by a guy I had been crushing on for a long time, who I eventually started hooking up with when he kept pushing for things I didn’t want to do and refused to reciprocate in bed. He didn’t care about me enjoying it at all. I said that I felt he was just using me as a way to get off when he didn’t want to use his own hand. He responded by saying, ‘I won’t have regular bang sessions with you. Ever. That’s for a girl I want to be seen with. You’re not good enough for that. You need to learn to be grateful.'”

These Are The Words That Wounded Them The Deepest

>>> “I recently got the nerve to tell the guy I’ve been in love with for nine years that I want to be with him and marry him, and that I’ve always loved him. He felt the same way about two months earlier, so I didn’t feel too weird and felt kind of confident. He told me that he had moved on and I should, too. It broke my soul.”–

>>> “‘At least I didn’t mess with my cousin.’

I was abused by my cousin as a child. I told my ex when we’d been dating for two years, and he resented me for it. A year after telling him, we were arguing in public, and he yelled this at me. He was always telling me how I was a bimbo, and I deserved it, and it was all my fault. This was the worst, as it was in public and he knew it was not my choice as a child but worded it like that anyway.”–

>>> “Right before my junior year of college, I was walking across the college campus during the summer, so there were only a handful of people walking around. I watched a group of guys not-at-all-discreetly ranking every girl that they saw on a scale of 1-10.

After hearing several sevens and eights, I watched them sneer at me, and give me a four before going on their merry way. Being that I was 22, and had only dated one person in my entire life, that did loads for my self-esteem.”–

>>> “My then-boyfriend had been having stomach problems and was throwing up a lot. I’m chronically ill, so I understand how it feels to be sick all the time. One day, he said to me, ‘I know why I’m throwing up so much; it’s you. It’s because I can see the true you. You’re weak. You’re a waste of beauty. You’re a shell of a human being. It’s disgusting.’
I broke it off soon after, but he continued to emotionally abuse me. It wasn’t about my personality, just the fact that I’m disabled, which made it even worse. ‘You’re a defunct human being, so much that even looking at you makes me literally sick.'”–

>>> “I was very close to a group of guys in high school. I would hang out with them every weekend to watch movies and play video games. One asked me to prom, and I turned him down. He started dating a girl a few weeks later, and the rest of them found girlfriends as well, and they all just stopped inviting me over. I messaged one of them, and he literally said, ‘There’s no reason to have you around anymore.’ It’s been over a decade and it still hurts.”–

>>> “My first boyfriend, who I had dated for two years before finally having the courage to break up with, texted me last night. We’ve been apart for a year now.

‘I’ve been thinking about you recently, and it’s hit me that you haven’t been in an official relationship since we broke up, and I wondered why. Then I remembered that every minute I spent with you made me want to kill myself more.’

Cue extreme hurt.”–

>>> “I used to be an addict, but I moved through it and started going to college. I was dating a guy for a while, and I was completely upfront with him about my previous life. Eventually, I broke up with him because he was too controlling. Even though I know he said it just to hurt me, I still feel the sting of remembering his voice saying, ‘You’re going to be a piece of crap junkie for the rest of your life, and you deserve it. I hope you overdose.'”