Women have to deal with some of the most obnoxious behavior! These Tinder dates are unreal!
Hot, But Not ‘Hot-Hot’, Ya Know?
“Second date with Tinder dude. Midway through dinner and he places his fork down on the table and says:
‘I’m a very blunt person. So I just… I have to say I don’t feel the same chemistry as last time’
I respond: ‘Okay. Want to talk about it?’
Him: ‘It’s just that. You’re a very pretty girl. Very pretty. But you’re not a beautiful girl, you know?’
Me: ‘Ookaay. What is a beautiful girl like?’
So he goes on a rambling story about a girl he hooked up with who was really hot, and I honestly can’t remember the end of the story or why he was so bent out of shape over it and I realised that men can categorise women as hot, beautiful and cute, which I didn’t realise. Previously I thought you were attractive or unattractive but nope.
So after dinner, I ended the date pretty swiftly. He then invited me back to his place to listen to his record collection as we both like music.
I said ‘I’m sorry, I’ll be blunt too. This is going to go anywhere because of what you said. It’s totally killed my attraction for you.’
Him: ‘No you’re taking it too personally! You’ve misinterpreted what I said blah, blah, blah.”
He then insists on walking me home, while he continues to rhapsodize about how I’ve twisted his words. I’ve misinterpreted him. He’s getting increasingly upset and I’m starting to feel bad.
We get to my gate and he asks to come in. He’s pretty upset and I didn’t want to be a total jerk so I said, in my most British way:
‘You can come inside until you’ve calmed down. You can sit on my sofa in my living room only while I make you a cup of tea.’
He comes inside and sits on my sofa while I make him some soy milk tea. The cat takes an immediate dislike to him, by the way. And then he starts to cry.
I spend the next 40 minutes listening to him talk about his ex, his break up etc etc. And I try to explain that women don’t really want to hear that they’re pretty but not beautiful on a date. It’s not a strategy that works.
And then he looks up and me and tells me that he’s seeing his ex-girlfriend tomorrow and he knows she’s going to laugh at this story because he told her exactly the same thing and she was really upset about it too. I bit back the urge to ask him why he’d learned nothing and sent him away.
He’s my worst date ever story.”
Casual Racism Is Always A Dealbreaker
“I matched with this one dude on Tinder, and the initial conversation was good. He didn’t seem weird or anything, no immediate red flags, so I agreed to meet up. We grabbed a coffee and had a pretty standard first date. He was kinda boring, but I figured I’d give him another chance in case it was nerves.
We went on a few more dates after that, including a trivia/bingo night where he met my best friend and her boyfriend. My best friend happens to be both pansexual and Muslim, two things that I didn’t think really mattered to most people (in Canada, anyway). After that date, however, things went downhill fast.
Later that night, in the middle of an otherwise casual, normal conversation, he drops the bomb: ‘Well, Muslims are terrorists. And if they’re not now, they all eventually will be.’ I honestly have no idea how that even came up, but I just sorta stared at him, half fake-smiling, waiting for him to realize that that wasn’t a very funny joke. When he didn’t clarify, I said ‘Well you just met my friend and she’s Muslim. Do you think she’s a terrorist?’
And that’s when he drops bomb #2:
‘She’s not really Muslim though. She can’t be Muslim and gay. She’s just saying that for attention.’ Cue more open-mouthed staring.
At this point, I think he’s realizing that I’m not on board with his BS, but he only half heartedly tried to backtrack before I asked him to just leave. It was honestly so bizarre. I don’t know where the hell that came from since I hadn’t noticed any real red flags up to that point. I officially ended it over the phone and he gave the worst apology for being a racist jerk (something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry you got so offended’) who insulted my best friend who he hardly even knew.
Two months later he tried to booty call me and was irritated that I still wasn’t cool with racism. So that was fun.”
A Guy Won’t Leave and Tries To Wake Up The Whole Apartment
“Met a dude on Tinder. He seemed interesting enough to chat to and was kinda my type. Taller than me (important because I’m 5″10), long haired and bearded.
We met at the cinema and he was way shorter than he said he was. Like, he was obviously only 5’6″. He proceeded to get pissy at me for lying about my height because I was obviously 6’4″. I’m not kidding. Homeslice tried to convince me I was taller than I am. I refuse to suffer fools so I immediately called him on it. He looked embarrassed and then tried to play it off as some sort of joke?
After which he told me that girls on tinder always judge guys by their height because they’re ‘shallow witches.’ Again I called him on it and he gave me puppy dog eyes and said ‘soowwwee’ like a naughty three-year-old. Made my skin crawl.
Oh, by the way, this was all happening in line for tickets, and the only reason I didn’t leave at that point was that I really wanted to see the movie.
After the movie he suggested dinner but I told him it was late and I wanted to go home. He insisted on feeding me, so we stopped by a late night food place and pick up a couple of pizzas to go. He dropped me home and walked me to my door, as I was opening it he immediately barged in with his food and asked me if I minded him staying to eat. By then I was pretty pissed off so I told him to GTFO because I have an early morning. This fell on deaf ears though because he was already on my bed WITH HIS SOCKS OFF eating his pizza. When he was done I told him again he needed to leave and he asked to be introduced to my flatmates. It was 2 am on a weeknight so I told him heck no and I want him to leave. He did that creepy pouty sorry thing again. (Idk why a grown man would think that kind of behavior was in any way attractive or endearing). He stuffed his socks into his pocket and as I was trying to walk him out he kept looking back at me with a smug grin on his face, before walking up to one of the bedrooms and trying to open the door. I kinda froze for a second because I’d never encountered anyone with the gall to be so damn rude and intrusive before I grabbed him by the back of his shirt and yanked him back. He thought this was some sort of game? And proceeded to keep trying to open the door while I pulled him away. He was laughing obnoxiously during this but stopped when I yanked him hard enough to tear his t-shirt (I’m not proud of this but the asshole would not stop).
I shoved him towards the front door. Then he tried to open the other bedroom door! At this point, I was a thousand miles past done so I manhandled him out of the door and threw his sandals at him while he stood on the porch doing that gross, weird pout again.
I told him to leave but he wouldn’t, he just stood there with a stupid grin on his face so I told him if he wasn’t off my property in five minutes I was going to call the police. He laughed at this and then asked me for a good night kiss.
Why he thought he had a chance in heck at getting a kiss is beyond me.
By then one of my flatmates was woken up by the ruckus and came to my rescue. She squirted him with the spray bottle we use on the cats, and he finally got the message and left.
I blocked him on tinder and blacklisted his number but he found my FB and sent me a super long rambling message about how I wasn’t good enough for him and how disappointed he was in my ‘bad attitude.’ Dude also left his socks in my mail box. Ugh.”
Some Guys Just Can’t Take A Hint
I went on a date with someone and it was fine, he made some annoying suggestive comments (he rock climbs and said something about ‘belaying’ me all night long) and I just rolled my eyes.
Anyway, he ends up texting me maybe a week later saying he went to a wedding with someone and is dating her now. Cool, not a problem.
A few months later we rematch on Tinder and he proceeds to annoy the snot out of me and I unmatch him. I end up going to a restaurant with my roommate and we sit at the bar – what I didn’t realize was that he was sitting in the seat next to me.
He turns and realizes I’m next to him and I say hello because I’m an adult. Anyhow, he proceeds to yell ‘WHY DID YOU UNMATCH ME ON TINDER!????’ – mind you, he’s obviously on another date (and he interrupts her mid conversation to yell at me).
It was so dumb and weird. My roommate told him to shut the heck up and the bartender came over to ask if everything was okay.
This Creepy Guy Wants Kink On A First Date
“I’ve never told this story before because I’ve tried to bury it down so deep that I’ll have no hope of ever finding it again.
I had been chatting with this guy for about a week before our planned date. We had great conversations. He was intelligent, had a good job and was a former college athlete (which I’m attracted to athletes so that’s a bonus for me). It did take a couple of times to convince him that I wanted to bring my own car. He insisted on picking me up or me meeting him at his apartment. No thanks. Anyways, we met for dinner and had a decent time.
So after dinner, we decided to go to a movie, but it didn’t start for another 1.5 hours. I suggested a bar but he said that he lived close and we should just go have a drink and hang out there. I agreed because we had gotten along really well, and honestly, I wasn’t opposed to a hookup. Yeah, that is one of my biggest regrets to this day. I knew better than to go alone to the house of a guy I just met.
So we get to his apartment and it’s a mess. Stuff on every surface. I let it slide because it’s not like I’m trying to move in. We sit down on the couch and he immediately extends his leg over my lap. Umm ok. Then he tries to talk me into giving him a back massage. Umm no. He then proceeds to describe some scenario where he’s a kid and I’m the babysitter. Hell no.
At this point, I’m looking for any excuse to get the heck out of there. After a few moments of awkward silence, he goes to his room. When he comes back out he lays down on the couch, and I prepare to launch into my excuse for leaving. I look down and notice that he had put on like a pull-up or some type of diaper thing under his jeans. FORGET THAT.
I finally understood that his fantasy was to be a literal baby. I don’t know what causes someone to pick that kind of kink, but I was not going to stick around to find out. I told him I was tired and got the heck out. Proceeded to block his number and drink all the alcohol.”
A Shy Guy Suddenly Goes Off
“I matched with this one guy on Tinder and I thought he and I would get along well because we were constantly chatting for hours about anything and everything. He came across as being introverted, slightly nerdy and a fan of left-leaning politics (I’ve been called a militant left-winger, so this was great) and I was really excited to meet him.
It came to meeting up in real life, and oh my god, it was so awkward. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me whenever he talked (which wasn’t very much) and when neither of us was talking, he would stare at me really intently. He then proceeded to be really touchy-feely and I had to tell him I wasn’t uncomfortable with it, which leads to him sulking in silence for about 45 minutes. When he finally spoke, he went on a misogynistic rant about how pretty girls intimidate him and how about how they never give shy and nice guys a chance because they only like ‘charismatic buff jerks’ and blamed his shyness on the reason why he didn’t have a girlfriend.
A Guy Screws Up A Sure Thing
“So I met this guy a couple of times at my friend’s frat and he seemed like a totally normal person, we have mutual friends so I think its all good. We ended up matching on Tinder and he invited me over to watch ‘Black Mirror’ so I literally walked like 15 minutes in the cold to his place because I 1.) underestimated the distance 2.) genuinely thought the D would be worth it.
I got there and he brought me to his room and just sat down and went back to doing his homework. No, ‘how are you?’ or “how was the walk?”, this guy just sat down and went right back to his homework. so after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, he finally said ‘how many Tinder dates have you been on?’ and just kept asking me questions about previous guys I’ve dated and which was the worst date, which was the best date, etc which I thought was weird because that’s literally the first thing he said to me.
Anyway, eventually he stops doing his homework, we watch ‘Black Mirror,’ things are heating up and for some reason he decides to ask me if I’d hooked up with his friend before and starts listing off various brothers in his frat and asks if I’ve slept with any of them because he was SO SURE that I must have hooked up with one of them. I was completely turned off but I walked 15 mins in the cold to get here so there was no way I was leaving without getting some.
So we keep going and he gets up to get a condom and tells me to turn around because he doesn’t want me watching him put on the condom. So I decided that while he was doing that I would take my shirt off and when he turned around his was genuinely shocked! He was confused as to why I was taking my shirt off. So he turns the lights off, things continue well for like 45 seconds and then he decides that we need to plan how we’re going to do it as in he wanted to do different positions in a certain order.
So I go along with it because it’s kinda weird but it’s not super weird and things are going fine. Finally, he finishes in like two mins, I fake finishing so he could get off me and I’m getting ready to go when he says ‘I’m looking for a serious relationship so this probably won’t happen again but I’ll see you around the frat house’ and reached in to give me a handshake. I was SHOOK. I didn’t know if I should be offended or relieved but it was definitely the weirdest hookup I’ve ever experienced. then I left and of course, there was a literal blizzard going on outside that I had to trek through to get back home.”
Wrapped Up Tight To Avoid Wandering Hands
“One guy spent the whole time talking about how much he loves juicing. We went back to his for some reason even though I wasn’t interested at all. I think I was just being polite. Anyway, we were watching a movie and he kept trying to grope me. So I wrapped myself in a blanket like a burrito. He kept trying to worm his way into the blanket and failing. He didn’t get the hint. I left.”
Drinking Into A Stooper
“I met up with a guy at some Korean bar/restaurant. We were texting for a week before I met up with him. He seemed nice and fun to talk to. He got there earlier than me so he already started drinking and I totally don’t mind as I was late for the date. He wasn’t drunk at all when I got there. He was really fun to talk to. I didn’t drink that much cause I was more interested in eating, but he kept on ordering drinks. Guy got really drunk. He was supposed to drop me off at home, but he got too drunk that obviously, he couldn’t do that. He also wanted to sleep with me, but I said no, and he replied ‘But I like you.’, as if that’s the password for getting me into bed or something. I thought he would stop but he kept on touching me so I had to leave. No wonder his friends don’t want to drink with him.”
A Guy Just Won’t Go Away!
“I was in an open relationship and looking for a solid FWB. I started chatting up this metalhead cause he seemed cool. Well, when this was all happening, I was working at a restaurant on a strip with a bunch of bars and shops so I figured I could meet him sometime after my shift on that strip. He knew where I worked cause I mean, it was a busy area and he met me at my car. (important backstory) Anyways, ‘want to meet SOMETIME’ soon turned into TOMORROW. Like, pushing me to this date. I said, screw it, I’ll just get this over with. So, we went to this bar that was playing super loud metal music. I couldn’t even hear myself think. As soon as we sit down, he says ‘so, uh, I don’t have any money’ and I mean I always go dutch on a first date but like, why push me to a date if you’re not even trying to enjoy the setting. That pissed me off. I had my white Russian and he drank water. He then asked if I wanted to go smoke at his house. Well, it’s hard for me to turn down that and he seemed trustworthy so I went. We get to his house and there are Michael Jordan cutouts EVERYWHERE. Like 8-10 and I’m talking ‘Space Jam’-era. I ask about it and he says they’re his roommates. Well, it’s in YOUR room buddy so?? (never got an answer about this) We smoke and its dirt. Like terrible stuff. So I bring out my stuff and he’s insulted and says he can’t smoke it cause it makes him freak out. I was already annoyed about the whole day and it was getting late so I left and went home. Next day, he’s asking me what I think about him and yadda yadda ya and I tell him straight up I’m not interested. he goes off on me, I block him. The same night, I’m the manager on duty for my shift and it’s close to closing time. Ol’ dude comes up and asks my staff to get me from my office, I go up, take one look and turn around and go back. My staff members are asking who he is and me trying to keep my ‘swinger life’ in tact, I say he’s a crazy ex. one of my male employees tells him to leave and he refuses. Finally, after some coaxing from a couple more employees, he goes. To sit. On. My. Car. And by no means is this man going to hurt me. he’s near in tears and being a total nutjob. I send my cooks outside and they say ‘leave or we beat you up.’ He leaves. I never see him again. reputation was salvaged.”
A Bunch Of Fails In A Row
“First, there was Compost Man: We talked for a while and he was really nice. He mentioned that he was really into the environment and outdoorsy stuff which I thought was cool. After a week of chatting, we met up for coffee. For a full 2 hours he talked about COMPOST – different kinds of compost, different things to put in compost, his favorite memories while making compost. Any time I brought up another topic, he’d bring it right back to compost. As we left the coffee shop, he threw his water bottle into the normal garbage can. Dude didn’t even recycle!!
Boring Dude: We met up without chatting much beforehand. Turns out we had nothing in common. At all. After an awkward 45 minutes, he told me he was going to go home because he needed to go to sleep early – it was 2 pm.
Toy Story: We met up a few times. He was really nice and attractive. After our fourth date, he invited me home with him. I entered his room and… his sheets and comforter were Toy Story themed! He was super embarrassed, I thought it was kind of funny. We actually remained friends for a while.
Racist Man: Our date was going great until I mentioned a Puerto Rican dish my mom made and he said … ‘Oh – I didn’t realize you weren’t Jewish. We can hookup but I’d never date you long term.’
Ghost of Tinders Past: We met up a few times and things seemed great. Then he ghosted me. That sucked a lot because he was my first good date after a string of bad dates. Anyway, guess who texted me last week asking if I’d be interested in hooking up? TWO YEARS AFTER HE GHOSTED ME.
Those are my most memorable Tinder fails. But I was ghosted many many times which never feels good.”
He’s Really Not An Awful Guy, Just Ask Him!
“We had chatted about politics and the horror that is Trump and its affects on women’s rights and stuff like that through tinder so it had seemed we were on the same page with a lot of that and that he was a feminist. Early on in the date, he asked me if I had ever experienced a guy claiming to be a feminist just to get in my pants. I thought that was a weird question but I told him no, I’ve never experienced that. We had a normal conversation after that for like 45 minutes but I wasn’t super interested in him and was ready for the check but he ordered another drink so I stuck around for a bit longer. Then he started asking me really invasive questions about my tinder experience and my sexual history. At one point he basically asked me if I had ever been taken advantage of by a date and then when I told him I was appalled he would ask me that he tried to say his point was that he’s not like those awful guys out there and he really respects women.
Projecting much? Was he trying to warn me earlier that he’s a guy who attempts to use feminism to get in girl’s pants?? I ended up throwing money on the table and leaving.”
First, He Spits On A Napkin and Tries To Wipe Her Face…
“Met up with this dude a couple weeks back. To be real I wasn’t feeling the date before he even showed up– he wasn’t my physical type whatsoever, but I figured I’d venture outside my comfort zone because hey, I’ve been dating dark haired, bespectacled dudes for years and it hadn’t worked so far so what the hell, right?
So Blondie shows up twenty minutes late and we walk to a bar a few blocks from my place. Along the way I can barely get a word in edgewise, he’s so eager to tell me all about how his wealthy parents are paying for this coding boot camp he signed up for (I live in SF, you can’t throw a bag of free trade coffee beans without hitting some jerk trying to get a piece of that tech pie). Keep in mind, homie is twenty-eight freaking years old. Strike One.
We get to the bar, which is VERY divey (just how I like it) and mostly empty except for a handful of old Filipino and Hispanic guys watching sports. Blondie is clearly horrified and refuses to take his backpack off when we sit down because his laptop apparently ‘cost a lot of money’ and he’s just sure someone is going to try and steal it. Strike Two.
Strike Three came just a few minutes later when he pointed out I had somehow managed to smear some lipstick on my cheek (I never claimed to be graceful). Before I can even whip out my phone to take a look he grabs a napkin off the bar, LICKS IT, and PROCEEDS TO WIPE THE LIPSTICK OFF MY CHEEK WITH THE NAPKIN HE JUST LICKED LIKE HE’S MY GRANDMA OR SOME NONSENSE. The entire time I’m dodging and weaving and trying to swat his hand away, while he’s proclaiming ‘no, let me do it, I’m a gentleman.’
‘I DON’T LIKE THAT PLEASE STOP,’ I shout, and he finally seems to get the hint and stops but by this point, he’s made the smudge worse and my cheek is wet with his saliva.
We spent the next ten minutes in awkward silence before I make up some excuse about needing to go home because I have to get up early for work. Then as we’re standing at my door and I’m fumbling for my keys he puts on this puppy-dog expression and says ‘can’t I at least make out with you?’
So screw it, I made out with him. He’d already smeared a loogie on my face, so what was the harm? Then I broke away, thanked him for a nice night, went inside, and ghosted his next few texts until he went away. That’s the LAST time I go out with a guy who doesn’t have dark hair and glasses”