If I got an invitation to any of these weddings, I would lose the invitation immediately and never attend. Seriously, these not-so-happy couples turned their weddings into such awkward nightmares for everyone else involved. Content has been edited for clarity.
Incoming Caking!
“I was at some classmates’ wedding. They were young, maybe like 22 or 23. There is apparently a caking tradition in some parts of the country, where when they cut the wedding cake, the couple feed each other a bit and smear each other’s faces with cake as a joke. The bride had absolutely made 1000% clear to the groom she did NOT want to be caked.
He did it anyways, and not just a small smear, but full on smushed the slice in her face. She was stunned initially, then got up, face full of cake, yelled, ‘YOU LOSER, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!’ and then ran to a back area in the reception. The groom tried to follow, but the bridesmaids and mother of the bride stopped him. So he sat at the head table awkwardly while half the wedding party rushed off with the bride.
She stayed back there for like an hour. They eventually did let him back there to check on her. We could hear her crying and them arguing. The rest of the reception came to a screeching halt until one of the bride’s aunts emerged and directed the servers to clear the tables and put on some music. They got divorced two years later.”
We Need To Get Out Of Here
“I have to talk about my cousin’s wedding. The food was really bad. And I mean REALLY bad. Things that were supposed to be warm or hot were ice cold and completely undercooked. There was music, but nobody was allowed to dance because ‘we don’t want people to dance on our wedding’. This was also a dry wedding. Not a single drop. But the worst thing was the seating arrangement. They didn’t plan on families and friends sitting together. I don’t know what they were thinking. I was sitting on a table with complete strangers. They even separated our grandparents from each other.
After an hour, my grandmother stood up, walked over to my grandfather, and they both declared they were leaving for the restaurant down the road, since that place would have decent food and drinks. I joined them, along with my parents. It didn’t took long for people to notice that our seats were empty. It was really easy to figure out, since nobody was allowed to dance or walk around in general. We got a call from one of my uncles asking where we were. After we explained why we left, he completely agreed with me. We ended up with twenty guests from the wedding in that small restaurant, having a pretty fun evening. I still don’t know why they even bothered celebrating their wedding. They also never invited us to family events again. Thats actually a good thing, because now I don’t need to find an excuse why I can’t join their future ‘parties’.
“He Looked Like A Clown That Didn’t Put On His Makeup”
“I was at a friend’s wedding. The bride wanted to sing him a song, so she did a kind of karaoke thing. There’s bad singing, and then there’s whatever the heck this was. It was so awkward. Also, the groom asked a professional photographer friend of ours to photograph the wedding about a year before, but he got a super non-commital answer. The groom never actually followed up. And he was SHOCKED that the photographer didn’t show up. Eventually, the photographer specifically declined the invitation because he was going to be in another country, but it still shocked the groom to no end.
The groom also had the entire set of groomsmen rent ridiculously expensive Tuxedos. Which, fine. Cool. Happy to be here. He’s having his suit custom tailored and asks for something ridiculous and gaudy. But when quoted on the price, he says he can’t swing that and insists they do it for about a fourth of the price. They do their best to meet specifications within the given price range, but it’s bad. Really bad. So the groomsmen look amazing, and he looks like a clown that didn’t put on his makeup. He has another friend make a custom batch of meade for the toast, but rents a hall that doesn’t allow outside drinks, so it can’t be used for the toast during the reception. It was probably the cringiest thing I have ever seen, not just the cringiest wedding or even cringiest thing at a wedding!”
It Was Like A Terrible Reality Show
“Okay, so as soon as the bride and groom got out of church, everyone went to congratulate them and give gifts, which traditionally consists of flowers, drinks, or envelopes with gifts inside. The bride had a pen and notebook, and she signed each envelope or wrote in the notebook if someone didn’t give her an envelope. Later, as we went to the restaurant where the party was about to start, we waited for two hours for the pair. Turns out they made a stop during their ride to count the money in the envelopes. As they finally got to the party, they started complaining that they didn’t make enough to pay for the party expenses and earn more. They only spend time with the ‘rich’ part of the family. The ‘poor’ tables didn’t get the good cake or food. There was literally different food on some tables. I sat near our poor part of family, and no meat or cakes made it to the table. Me and like seven other people didn’t get forks, only spoons. Why would you give a fork to someone when there’s only soup for them to eat? Now, mind you, I gave them enough to pay for like five plates, and I helped them during preparations. I even baked a few cakes that I didn’t get to eat in the end! Half of the people got out after like twenty minutes. The bride called them all terrible for ‘ruining her dream wedding’. It was the worst wedding ever, and that is just a part of the whole wedding mess. I wish I had a car back then so I could have gone back home as well, as the wedding was terrible for many other reasons. The groom was cheap, and the bride was a Karen.
This all took place in Poland. Me and my mom, some aunts, as well as some neighbors were preparing the food day before the actual wedding, as the groom thought it would be cheaper. We thought it would be great, a family bonding thing while making pierogi and some traditional food. Turns out we were just free workers, and the neighbors were not even invited, which I think was a terrible move. So I know that there was enough food for everyone, but since the waiters were the bride’s ‘friends’, she could tell them what to give to who. The day after wedding was also cringe worthy, but at least now we know how this part of family is. I saw many good and bad weddings, but seriously, this was like a reality show of some kind. And it’s only one small part of the story.”
The Perfect Terrible Ending
“The bride entered to the Braveheart soundtrack blasting on a boom box. The ceremony was a civil service that lasted a few minutes, starting at around 1 p.m. She leaves to same blasting Braveheart soundtrack. The mother announces that the reception starts at 5:30 p.m. There is no food and no bar, but trays of dessert bars will be served. We are also told the venue is locked until then so there is no place to wait! My girlfriend and I leave with a crowd of people to go across the street to an Irish pub for drinks. A bit of a party breaks out there. We all get told to knock it off and come wait back at the venue in the hall. So we sit in the hall on the carpet for a few hours, without drinks or dinner. The bride and groom finally arrive and enter the venue to an ‘honor guard’ of floor hockey players wearing hockey jerseys and holding sticks above their heads, like swords at a royal wedding. More Braveheart music of course.
The whole place emptied out pretty quickly as people either left to go back to the pub or to the fast food place a bit further away. Our dinner consisted of lemon squares and a can of Coke from a vending machine in the lobby. Funny stuff. I should mention that I got guilt tripped into staying after the event to help clean up, as I ‘lived nearby and didn’t have to work that day’. It was the perfect ending.”
Someone Actually Passed Out
“I worked as a wedding videographer. This is the only Bridezilla I encountered in ten years. This girl was so self centered that she kept everyone waiting at her outdoor ceremony for more than an hour while she was pampered in the makeup chair. While she’s having them redo this and touch up that, she’s sort of making up her wedding vows in a very relaxed, casual manner, completely inappropriate for the hundred people sweating under full summer sun waiting on her. Her aunt came in and very gently reminded her people were waiting on her, and that it’s been more than an hour. The bride threw a tantrum, screaming, ‘I feel like everyone’s forgetting this is MY DAY!!!’
Eventually she comes out, and the ‘vows’ are lame and borderline incoherent, and one of the groomsmen, sweltering under coat and vest and shirt and sun, passes out from heat exhaustion. The officiant whispers to ask the couple if they should stop and make sure he’s okay, and she goes, ‘Nah, he’s just being dramatic, keep going!’
As the couple is headed back up the aisle, an ambulance can be seen arriving to tend to the poor overheated groomsman. Being a videographer is a pretty sweet gig, really. Wonderful meals, great venues, and happy people normally. Yes, it can be stressful at times and it eats your weekends away, but the pay is good and you’re treated like a professional. The real wildcard is the photographer. Some are insufferable egotists, some are incompetent, and some are just monsters. But most are great people and easy to work with.
For a bonus story, there was one wedding I did videography for in some historic church in the middle of summer. There was no air conditioning, but the church did have some electric fans. The couple was upset because the sound of the fans was prominent in the video. How’s that my fault? Another wedding I did was an outdoor service in the city, in an open courtyard at a hotel. A helicopter went by during the ceremony. The mother of one of the parties, who had paid for the job, complained about the noise of the helicopter and some traffic sounds being audible in the video. Lady, what the heck do you want? If the groom’s lapel mic picked it up, it was audible to everyone. I hate unreasonable picky people.”
How Was This Cake Edible?
“This was the wedding for a friend of friends. The bride was young, super Christian small town naive girl. She met a married, much older man with two kids. They fall in love. He does eventually leave his wife for her, and he doesn’t want any custody of his kids. The wedding took place at her hometown church. His vows were over the top about how he has never felt love before, she is the only woman he ever wanted to marry, and he’s been so lonely his whole life. He’s literally sobbing through it all. It was her turn to say her vows, and she’s standing there saying nothing for at least three beats. Then she is handed a microphone and the piano starts playing. She’s made up her own song, which are her vows.
After the ceremony, we adjourn to the church basement for the dry reception. I’m somehow roped into serving the groom’s cake. It consists of two NASCAR car cakes made with an edible photo draped over the cakes. It is impossible to cut through without mangling the cake, so I have to peel it off. My friend is cutting the bride’s cake, and it’s a full inch or more of fondant on top of plain cake. No frosting. The ‘buffet’ was potluck from her family. It was food you’d expect at a kid’s party. Pink punch was the only thing to drink. There was no dancing because of her religion. Then they left for their ‘honeymoon’ at the town’s only hotel, which was like a Motel 6 level dump, in a two-horse drawn carriage.”
Such Boring Nonsense
“It is now time to address wedding speeches. My god, too many wedding speeches. Here is the official backstory. The reception was scheduled right after the ceremony, but at a totally different location. We couldn’t actually eat until the wedding party got there. The couple showed up two hours late because they had apparently been cruising around on the party bus and had been drinking. After showing up, they decided to do all of their speeches before dinner. There were speeches from the best man, the maid of honor, a few parents, and some totally random people. I have never listened to so much boring nonsense in my entire life. It took over an hour to get through all of these speeches! So basically everyone had to sit around with no music and no food for three hours straight! The bar wouldn’t open either, so we only had water to drink. Nearly everyone, myself included, left right after eating. The whole thing was so disrespectful to their guests!”
Here Comes The Diva
“When I was eleven, my cousin got married for the third time. I never really liked her because she was 37 when I was 11, so we didn’t have a lot in common. Also, she was pretty full of herself. The wedding itself was fine, pretty boring but fine. Then we get to the reception. We were told that we had to sit down as soon as we got there. Some people found it weird, but I’ve only been to one other wedding before this, so I didn’t think anything of it. Her other marriages were when I was little, and no kids were allowed at her weddings then. The bride and groom then make a huge dramatic entrance, and everyone awkwardly clapped for them as they strutted around the room with actual crowns on their heads. The Bride then gets the microphone, hands it to her mom, and asks her to say something she loves about the bride. She then tells her mom to pass it on, and says she wants EVERYONE in the room to say one thing they absolutely love about the bride. Not the bride and groom, not their relationship, just the bride herself. It was super awkward.
Now at this point you may be wondering what I said during this awkward exchange. I said how pretty her eyeshadow was, because I felt so awkward and wanted to die. My older brother said ‘pass,’ which made her force a fake laugh and urge him to say something. He ignored it and she kept insisting, so he said, ‘Your parents.’ And then he passed the mic on. She and the third husband divorced a few months later, because he was caught cheating with an 18 year old still in high school. He gave off bad vibes to the point where even strangers noticed and wanted all kids to stay away from him. She married another guy a few years later, and they are still somehow together.
As a bonus story, this bride likes to take pictures with a life-sized cutout of Trump and post it on social media, because she, her mom, and her sister believe it looks so REAL (nope), and she even pretends she’s been caught cheating on her fourth husband with the cutout. Her daughter from the second marriage unfriended the bride and often stays with her dad, because she cannot stand this bride anymore.”
Dancing Gets Pretty Dangerous
“It was my sister-in-law’s wedding: there were two weddings at the same venue, and my sister-in-law had a list of banned songs for her reception. The other wedding started playing one of them (it was across the building, so you could hear it very faintly), and SIL went bounding off towards the other wedding to give them grief for playing a song she didn’t like. The mother of the bride also wore a white gold gown and had her old lady cleavage proudly displayed, so as to upstage her own daughter.
I attended my ex’s friend’s wedding, where a very young religious couple (19 and 20) got married so they could get intimate. At their religious wedding, the pastor made a whole speech about women not being equal to men and being created as an inferior creature to serve men. The bride seemed thrilled with this. The reception featured open faced room-temperature egg salad sandwiches, provided by the ladies of the church. Yikes.
I also recently attended my cousin’s wedding, and this was also a very young couple (20 and 21), but they weren’t religious. The groom cooked meals for the reception and had them reheated the day of. They weren’t too terrible, but they definitely tasted reheated. Their young friends also got super wasted and a small child was kicked in the face at full force by one of the groomsmen.
And finally, I have to address my own wedding. My husband is painfully shy and didn’t want dancing lessons, so we came up with a simple routine together the night before the ceremony. During the dance, he accidentally went right when he was meant to go left, and I stepped on the edge of my dress at the same time, which lead to me slipping and twisting my ankle. We still had a good time, but if you have the opportunity to get dance lessons and practice, DO IT!”
What Did They Expect To Happen At The Reception?
“Oh boy, where do I begin? Before I start, this is only one couple who did all of these egregious things. I couldn’t believe it. The groom changed who the best man was and didn’t actually tell the original best man until the start of the ceremony. The bride and groom asked some random guest to bartend the reception while the reception was happening! The groom did some dirty dancing with his step-mom, and he got uncomfortably handsy with her. The bride and groom hauled their wedding party up to do a choreographed dance to Meatloaf’s ‘Paradise by the Dashboard Lights’, but didn’t give them any pre-warning or teach them the official dance. That song is over eight minutes long. The wedding was at a scenic boarding school campus during the summer. Guests were told dormitories were complimentary to stay in. Guests were not told there would be no bedding provided or air conditioning in the building. The groom later emailed everyone who stayed in a dorm asking for money. The very same bride and groom chose another friend’s wedding reception as the right setting to yell at a third pair of mutual friends for not including them in their wedding party.
Now the groom was always the archetypal ‘frat guy’ that never grew out of it. He would always utter inappropriate comments to our girlfriends and wives, as well as servers at bars and restaurants, that kind of thing. He was always trying way too hard to be the center of attention. The bride was annoying too, but in less overt ways. She just had a generally grating personality. They were part of our ‘friend group’ because we all played on a sports team together, but the wedding was the beginning of the end. We started cutting them out of our lives after that, and they ended up moving away not long after the wedding for work reasons.
We were never sure whether their relationship would explode spectacularly, or if they were perfect for each other. This couple is actually still together with kids more than ten years later, so I guess the latter.”
The Most Uncomfortable Silence
“The groomsman prepared a skit in which they ‘lost’ the groom at the reception and proceeded with over the top ‘hands on hips’ response. ‘Hey guys, aren’t we forgetting SOMETHING? Well , where can he POSSiBLY be?’ They were acting like some high school musical. None of the guests were prepared and silently fussed around with their drinks and silverware. When the whole thing ended, they anticipated like a standing ovation, but it went over the heads of everyone. A lone voice muttered, ‘That was kinda weird,’ as they made their exit quietly
It was some of the corniest stuff I ever saw, not sure if some of them were inside jokes to the groomsmen crew. They all entered into the main area together, minus the groom
One guy had the fakest cartoony voice, saying, ‘Hey, aren’t we missing something? It cant be me, because I’m always prepared!’ He then winked and paused for non-existent laugh. Another groomsman wonders about the bowtie and brings out an ugly bowtie from his pocket, replying, ‘What about the bowtie? Oh no, wait! It has to be the groom! Where can he possibly be?!’
This whole thing went on for way too long. I don’t remember much of it at all because I was on my phone, trying to avoid making eye contact whenever the groomsmen said a line and scanned across the audience. At the end of the entire thing, the groom came out through a side door on cue. If the bride of groom approved of the skit, I would have been appalled at their horrific sense of humor. Thank goodness he wasn’t there to see the entire thing unfold. As for the crowd, they seemed to forget all about it once the newlyweds had finally entered, so it was all good.”
Way Too Much Information
“To be fully honest, I was debating on whether or not to share this story. But here we go. My aunt and her current husband had their wedding at this old movie theater. Everything started off a little bit rocky, with the officiant clothed in full goth attire. The bride and groom read their vows to each other, and after that, the groom announced that he had written a song about my aunt. He is in a rock band, so I guess there was some precedent for this? He then proceeded to play an actual electric guitar and sang a song about hooking up with my aunt. Seriously, he sprinkled in so many vulgar details about what they liked to do in bed together, and he sang all of this on a stage in front of so many people. Meanwhile, the goth officiant was playing the drums and backing up the groom. Keep in mind, both of these men have children who are also on stage, and out entire family is watching all of this. So was the bride’s father, I bet he sure enjoyed this! Once the groom was finally done, he and my aunt mixed different flavors in a drink glass to show that they are now one. They made out. It was rather gross. My brother and I left shortly after that, but we did have to attend the wedding dinner that took place four hours later. That event was equally as crazy. It is safe to say that we don’t talk to my aunt and new uncle very much anymore.”