We've all had some crazy exes, but have any of your exes been this bad?!
How Much Time Does That Take?!
“I received 800+ missed calls and 1.5 thousand messages after I broke it off after 2.5 months.” (Source)
Creepy Much?
“He started messaging all the new guys he thought I might go out with, asking them not to invite me out ’cause he felt he still had a chance with me. This happened not once or twice, this happened with around 10 guys. He didn’t even know them in person. I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW THEM.” (Source)
How Many People Can Say They Dated A Vampire Though?
“She tried to draw my blood out while i was asleep to put it in a vial she wore around her neck.” (Source)
Sims Cheating Is Real Cheating, Obviously
“Ever had a girlfriend threaten to cut her wrists because your The Sims character is dating the computer generated neighbor? I did.” (Source)
Gotta Look Good For The Casket
“He lied about having skin cancer in an attempt to win me back. I only found out it was a lie because shortly after being ‘diagnosed’ he went tanning.” (Source)
I Think The Word You’re Looking For Is “Douchebag Complex”
“Said he would find it ‘humorous in a way’ if I died. Also was known for saying, ‘I don’t have a god complex… it’s called a messiah complex.'” (Source)
Needless To Say, He Chose The Dog
“I suspected she was crazy long before I knew her, but I realized she was a f*cking sociopath when she asked me to euthanize my dog because ‘he was taking up too much of ‘our’ time.'” (Source)
And He Wonders Why The Bald Spot Is Still There
“He got himself locked in four point restraints in the ER because he was convinced he had AIDS and started trying to ‘infect’ the staff. He also proudly told me he was the son of Jesus Christ, and one time tried to kick in my door at 3:00 am as a grand romantic gesture. Oh, and he thought his bald spot would grow hair again if he was just a better person.” (Source).
She’s In Love With You, Footballhead
“She cut out my head from yearbooks and put them on cork boards on her headboard. I found out because one of her friends told me she did, and so I wanted to see for myself. She was working during the day, and I was close with her brother, who let me in when I said I needed to grab something from her bedroom. I walked in and, sure enough, my head on a bunch of muscular bodies that weren’t mine. I broke up with her the next day after seeing the Hey Arnold-esque shrine. Following the breakup, she would drive on my street and stop and wait outside and see if my light was on. It wasn’t, mainly because I knew she would do that. Then she would call me and leave voicemails of her breathing rather heavily. She then tried to get me jealous of her having another guy, which I was everything but jealous of, and she actually had sex with and got pregnant with said guy, which kind of backfired on her. So….happy ending, I guess?” (Source)
Plot Twist!
“He suffered PTSD due to surviving an F5 tornado… and then became a satanist, was arrested for shoplifting, was addicted to cough medicine, and he drove his car into a telephone pole while high on PCP and had to be rescued by the jaws of life while his car was on fire. He was also an ‘adult baby’ who enjoyed wearing diapers and children/baby clothes, pacifiers, etc. Also liked to go to clubs in drag. Cheated on me at least once with a random guy from the internet (before the days of craigslist and all that). (I’m a woman.) Ended up in rehab and now plays in a Christian band. Oh and his father is a preacher. PREACHERS KIDS, I SWEAR.” (Source)
No Words
“Took a dump in paper, put it in a box and wrapped it up with wrapping paper. Then she hand delivered it to my mum as a gift for all the things she’s done for her (literally only were together for two months, and my mum hardly had a connection with her let a lone had done a lot for her). This was the same day we broke up before my mum even knew about it. She literally left my house then drove to her house to prepare the gift and then drove to my mums house. Luckily my mum only had my dad, grandparents and basically the whole family to witness her unfolding a turd out of paper which had been soaked in Febreze. Made the smell ten times worse.” (Source)
The Delusion Is Real
“She woke me up because I had the night sweats and she was convinced I had AIDS. For some reason, I decided to appease her and got a full STD screening including an expensive AIDS test. A few weeks later, I drove to her house to give her my signed note (Which I had to specifically request) stating my clean bill of health. She accused me of forging the entire thing and in the following argument pulled the plates out of the cupboard and frisbee’d them at me. I left immediately. About 6 months later (I had just started dating my now fiancé) she contacted me to tell me she believed me and wanted to know if she and her two dogs could move in with me. I never responded.” (Source)
This Is No Ordinary Stage 9 Clinger. He’s A Full On 10 Stager
“Painted my name all over his bedroom, bathroom and lounge room. Proposed and then photoshopped us into wedding pictures, sent invites to all his family and mine, along with my friends too; got an ultrasound photo online and tried to announce to Facebook we were expecting a baby; shaved our initials into his cat and left hundreds of love letters taped to my car. We went on half a double date with friends, I was just being a good sport. Nope’d out when he proposed when my food came. The rest came over the next week. This was all after the one and ONLY date. This wasn’t a ‘we dated for months and then his crazy came out,’ this was ‘we met an hour ago why are you proposing to me.'” (Source)
Smart Move
“She had sex with my best friend because she thought I was having sex with a girl, but I was just taking care of her because she was really drunk. Afterwards she broke into my apartment and stole my clothes and smashed my dishes. Then she sent a picture of her standing on a bridge threatening to kill herself if I didn’t get back together with her. Got a restraining order the next day.” (Source)
Quite The Negotiator
“She stopped all communication with me out of the blue one day and then after about 2 months, she called me and said, ‘For $20 you can do anything you want with me.’ That’s when she became crazy. I didn’t actually do anything with her. I made a counteroffer for $5, and I think she was offended. Haven’t talked to her since.” (Source)
Rookie Mistake
“She took me to see a college play and then broke up with me because I was looking at the actress on stage.” (Source)
True Love Requires Real Sacrifices
“She broke up with me for a week to have sex with a guy that was visiting because she ‘loved me too much to cheat on me.’ She thought if she dumped me it would be ok as long as we got back together.” (Source)