Pregnant women have it tough enough as it is. Between the physiological and emotional changes they undergo while carrying a child, women deal with quite a lot over the course of the pregnancy. Yet some people think the tolls of pregnancy aren't quite enough and find ways to make expecting mothers suffer a little more with the cruel and insensitive things they say to them.
(Content has been edited for clarity.)
Well, That’s One Way To Treat A Pregnant Woman
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“I just left a grocery store bawling because of the couple behind me in line. I used a WIC check for milk and juice, and I also bought a box of cake mix because today is my birthday.
They kept rolling their eyes and while I was digging through my purse for my store card, and when it was my turn, the guy jabbed me with his cart and said, ‘Hurry up, some of us actually work for our food.’
I’m 37-weeks pregnant, and I looked every bit of it. When he hit me, I dropped my wallet so I squatted down to get it and he jabbed me again. I fell onto the hard floor and started crying. The cashier told the guy to get out of his line, and the bagger helped me up. I’m pretty sure he was banned from the store, which is great as the nearest grocery store for him is now half an hour away.”
She Just Didn’t Know When To Stop
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“The most hurtful comments throughout my pregnancy have come from my mom. She’s obsessed with how much I weigh, which is weird as I’m pretty slim. For my birthday, she bought me a dress, and had to follow the niceness with a snide comment, ‘I got the biggest size the shop had, but they didn’t do whale sized, so I’m not sure if it’ll fit.’
I can’t even wear the dress because it’s huge!
The worst comments from her though have been about my poor unborn baby.
My mom has called my unborn daughter a ‘brat’ a ‘little witch,’ and because I’ve been on medication (to stop me from dying), my mom is convinced the baby will be born an addict.
When I was 32-weeks pregnant, and in the hospital, my mom told my brother and his wife, ‘Well, I wouldn’t worry too much, the baby probably won’t survive anyway.’
Many, many tears have been shed over that gem.
I haven’t spoken to my mom in over a month, and I don’t plan to start anytime soon! Life has been dramatically better without her around, and suffice to say my, my mom will not be involved in my daughter’s life.”
You Don’t Dis Her Unborn Baby
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“I had a woman talk about how my unborn child will look like. I’m white, and my husband is Asian. I also have curly hair. When picking up my prescription prenatal, I had a clerk recognize that my last name was Vietnamese because she was also Vietnamese.
She asked me, ‘You know that’s a Vietnamese name, right?!’
I said, ‘Yes my husband is Vietnamese.’
She said ‘Oh’ with a long pause. ‘Aren’t you worried it’ll look weird with the (gestures at my nose) and the (gestures at my curly hair)?’
I was dumbfounded. THIS WITCH RIGHT HERE not only just insulted my unborn child, she managed to dis my face and hair in one blow! But I’m not the type of person to think of the right thing to say in the moment. I just told her that I think mixed babies are beautiful. I could have said something horribly predujuice or better yet complained to the manager, but being shocked and exhausted because I was about 8 weeks at that point, I just left the pharmacy. Looking back on it I’m like, ‘Freaking really? It’s 2018…’
Pregnancy Helped This Mother To See Her Father’s True Nature
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“The one rude comment I got that stuck with me was from my dad. It was when I called him to tell him I was pregnant. We had known for a few days already, and he was the last person I told.
After I exclaimed, ‘We’re having a baby,’ his first reaction was ‘okay?’ That’s all he said like he didn’t understand why I was telling him. At that point, I lost my excitement and just told him the due date and our future plans. The only thing he could say was, ‘So, is this why you guys got married last month; because you’re pregnant?’
Yeah, dad, I’m five-weeks pregnant, and we got married five weeks ago because I knew I was pregnant the day she was conceived. He didn’t even pretend he was excited or happy for us. Then I made the mistake of asking how he felt about me being pregnant and he said, ‘Well, I guess I’m excited. I don’t know. It sucks for me having to be a grandpa from across the country.’ My husband is in the military, so we can’t move home.
Becoming pregnant has made me realize how selfish my dad is, and has caused me to push him away. I don’t care for his influence in our lives. He ruined my self-esteem as a teenager by always tearing me down instead of lifting me up, and I don’t want him to make my daughter feel the same.”
You Waited Until Now?
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“The worst thing that was said to me during my pregnancy came from my daughter’s biological father.
We had been in a relationship for a few years, and I stopped taking birth control because I started getting ovarian cysts and it made my periods much worse than usual. At first, we were safe, but we eventually stopped using protection. We knew I could get pregnant and had talked about it; we weren’t necessarily trying, but we were ready if it happened. Neither one of us were surprised when I got pregnant a few months later.
As my pregnancy progressed, my boyfriend started staying out late and sometimes wouldn’t come home. At around 15 weeks, I found out he’d been cheating on me. He told me he thought he was ready for the commitment and responsibility, but as time passed, he realized it wasn’t what he wanted.
I was hurt and called my mom; she was more than happy to have me back home for the birth of her first grandchild. It softened the blow tremendously, and she gave me the two bedrooms my brothers had growing up because they were connected and one could be the nursery.
I stayed in contact with my daughter’s father, and he even came to the gender reveal ultrasound at 20 weeks. When we found out we were having a girl, he seemed to be coming around to the idea of being a father. Two weeks later, he texted me and asked if he could come by to talk to me about something. He had been active on Facebook commenting and liking everything I posted baby related, so I figured he wanted to be there for the baby. I even entertained the idea of us getting back together. When he arrived, I invited him in and showed him the nursery my dad had painted pink a few days before. Standing in my daughter’s nursery, he asked me to get terminate the pregnancy. I was shocked. I was 22-weeks pregnant, and I didn’t even think you could terminate a pregnancy that late. Then he told me he found out the procedure could be done up to 24 weeks and that it would cost $8,000. That’s when I realized he was serious and had researched this. I was ticked off. He said, ‘Well, I thought you were pro-choice.’
I can’t remember what I said, but it was something along the lines of, ‘I am! But this isn’t like we’re staring at a pregnancy test. I’m more than halfway through my pregnancy! We know she’s a girl, she has a name, we’re standing in her nursery next to your daughter’s crib! I feel her kicking right now! It’s too late for that!’ I told him to leave.
It wouldn’t have made me as mad if he didn’t know how much I loved my baby, if he didn’t go to the gender reveal ultrasound, if he hadn’t been following the entire pregnancy online, or if he didn’t have his hand on my stomach trying to feel her kick just a few minutes prior. He texted me a few days later to apologize and said he realized it was messed up to ask me to do that so late in my pregnancy. We came up with an agreement that I wouldn’t seek child support if he didn’t seek custody and had it notarized.”
This Manager’s Advice Was Something Else
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“I had an old woman tell me I was ‘living in horrible sin’ since I wasn’t married yet. She said that I still had time to ‘fix my mistakes’ and have a rushed wedding ‘if you even know who the father is.’
She was also amazed that my father would allow a man to ‘tarnish the family name with such shame.’ It was seriously a five-minute rant I had to stand and listen to because I was a cashier at the time and my manager stood by and agreed with her the entire time. When she left, my manager said, ‘Crazy people money is still money. Maybe wear a fake ring.’
I told my OBGYN, and he reached into a drawer and started the paperwork to get me on maternity leave.”
Patient Questions Pregnant Doctor’s Ability
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“One of my patients recently asked me about training and my schedule when it came up that I wouldn’t be able to travel for away rotations because I would have a newborn.
She asked if I had a newborn, and I reiterated that I would have be giving birth the next week. She told me she didn’t think I was pregnant, just really fat, and she’d been wondering how I was going to be a good doctor if there were simple things I couldn’t do (I couldn’t bend down to the ground to put her shoes on her feet). Then she grilled me on my lack of wedding band.
I haven’t been wearing my rings because they don’t fit because I am nearly 39 weeks pregnant.”
“Leave Me Alone!”
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“During my first trimester, I brought ziplock bags with me wherever I went because I was throwing up on buses and subways frequently. Oh, the looks people gave me. Or the snide comments. I’ve had people tell me I have a problem with substance abuse, I need to get my life together, or that I’m a mess.
I once managed to get off the train in time and was vomiting into a snow bank when these college kids walked by me and said, ‘OH! WASTED!’ And in between heaves, I said, ‘No. Pregnant!’ These freaking jerks said, ‘Got herself accidentally knocked up,’ so I held up my hand to show my wedding ring, and said, ‘No, I’m married and trying for a baby, and after a miscarriage, I’m pregnant, so leave me the eff alone!’
Grandma’s Comments Were Not Needed
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“My husband and I told his family we were pregnant on Easter. At the time, I was 12 weeks along. Last October, we lost our first pregnancy at 11 weeks, and it was horrible. My husband’s grandmother had the nerve to respond, ‘Well, I mean, it’s not as exciting as the first time you were pregnant, but at least you’re farther along than the last.’
I cried in the guest room.”
The Clinic Failed To Understand This Mother’s Condition
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“I was homeless at the beginning of my pregnancy. The first place I went to for medical care was, without my knowledge beforehand, a very conservative Christian clinic. They gave me an ultrasound, sonogram, a onesie and a baby’s blanket during the appointment where they gave me the pregnancy test as a way to guilt me to keep the pregnancy.
They knew I was homeless and living in a tent, and they said they offered this amazing service: they could ‘send a nurse to visit you at your home, or in your instance, the nurse can go to your campsite.’ I couldn’t help but laugh in the woman’s face because I was appalled. I was low at the time, and they were pushing me to keep a child I couldn’t possibly support. They also told me that I could get better services if I was married. My ex was an abusive junkie. Had I gotten married, my life would be horrible compared to what it is now, and I wouldn’t be able to go through adoption probably at all, or at least not as easily.
What’s more, they knew what I was going through too. It’s not like they thought he was a standup guy. He actually came to the first appointment with me, prison tattoos and all. He’s one of those guys that screams ‘run’ but I made that mistake. However, pushing someone to get married is crazy.
I ended up keeping the child and am going through adoption. The adoptive parents have helped me a lot, and I am lucky. I moved out of Southern California to be with them in Northern California and they are actually helping me get back on my feet. They are even going to my doctor appointments with me, which means a lot. I am not an addict, so they are overly thrilled to have me as the birth mother of their child, and we are going to be in touch a lot even after the birth, so I can be in my daughter’s life still.
However, I still couldn’t believe how that clinic treated me.”
Don’t Mess With The Mother Of A Premature Child
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“My daughter was born 11-weeks premature. Even though she was still in the NICU at the hospital, I decided to go back to work because I didn’t have any additional long-term disability insurance.
One of the first comments I received upon coming back was, ‘You’re so lucky! It’s like you don’t have to be a parent yet.’
Someone also said, ‘I heard she was premature. It must have been because you were so heavy, right?’
No, it was because of a freak infection.
When I was still pregnant, someone approached me and asked, ‘How far along are you?’ When told them how far along I was, they looked at my belly and said, ‘Are you sure?’
Everyone claimed to say these things out of ‘concern.'”
She Just Didn’t Have The Right Things To Say
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“A female coworker is pregnant with her second child. Her first passed away due to unforeseen circumstances, and another coworker commented on it by saying, ‘Oh, I bet you’re excited! I bet you won’t ever let THIS ONE out of your sight!’
We were floored.”
This Mom Offered The Worst ‘Support’
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“My worst one was from my mom. I have an anterior placenta so I didn’t feel baby until about 21-22 weeks. When she asked if I could feel him and I said yes she said ‘Oh GOOD, I thought you were going to be one of those BIG girls who never feels anything and has their baby on the toilet.’
That really hurt. She’s always been so tiny, about 5 ft 1 and 110 lbs, and I was large growing up, but I got my butt into gear and lost 70 lbs before getting pregnant, and wore a clean size 6. It was like everything was for nothing and because to her, I still feel like some kind of monster.”
Terrible Comment After Terrible Comment
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“When I was pregnant with my first child, I received lots of comments from my family about getting too excited about the pregnancy.
A lot of women in my family have a variety of female problem, but luckily I didn’t have any of the issues with my pregnancy. Instead of being happy for me and supportive, multiple family members told me not to get my hopes up. It was just awful.
One time, I called my mom when I was having trouble with gas and constipation during my first trimester. In response, she said, ‘Well, if your body needs to get rid of something, it’s going to do what it wants; you can’t stop nature.’ I just lost it. I have no idea how she came to the conclusion that gas was a sign of a miscarriage.
My grandfather also told me not to count my chickens until the eggs hatched. I heard this stuff so much I was afraid my baby was going to die before it was even born. I hated it. I felt like I always was in fear of losing my child.”
Beloved Teacher No More
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“When I was eight-months pregnant with my first child, I was out at a restaurant with my parents, and I saw one of my teachers from high school. I was 25 years old at the time and unmarried, and I had attended a private Christian high school. I wasn’t with my son’s father anymore.
I went to talk to her and, at first, she was congenial and seemed happy to see me. Then she looked down at my hand, noticed no wedding ring, and immediately started ignoring me. I mean no eye contact, no talking, no acknowledging I even existed. The woman with her looked mortified and started talking to me to fill the awkwardness of the situation, even though I didn’t know her.
Here’s a woman I held in high regard and idolized who was deliberately shunning me because I wasn’t married when I got pregnant. I lost every ounce of respect I had for her that day. It was not her place to judge me, even if she did know my situation, which she didn’t.”
You Know What They Say About Assumptions
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“I’m well out of high school and in a healthy relationship, but people often think I look much, much younger.
One day, I was at the mall when I was 32-weeks pregnant. My fiancé went to grab us some food, and so I waited for him in the food court. Beside me was an elderly couple, and they kept staring at me. I have severe paranoia, so it made me uncomfortable.
The woman leaned over and said:
‘Are you pregnant?’
Considering no one had asked me about my pregnancy at that point, and no one made a note of commenting yet, I smiled and said, ‘Yes.’
She rolled her eyes and asked, ‘Was it planned?’
At this point, I became defensive, and said, ‘Actually, I don’t feel comfortable talking about that, it’s my business.’
Our daughter was planned, but I didn’t feel it was anyone’s business. Then this gem of a lady then said, ‘Actually, it’s my business too. I assume you’re going to be a single mom, and my tax money is paying for you to live on welfare, so I think I have a right to know.’
My mouth dropped open. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to say. She rolled her eyes after calling me an embarrassment and walked away.
I still can’t believe it, and I don’t understand why someone feels they have a right to say rude things to you just because you’re pregnant. You’re not instantly public property when you start growing a human.”
Whose Interest Did This Pastor Have In Mind?
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“I accidentally got pregnant when I was 17 years old and decided to keep the baby and try to make a life with my then boyfriend, now husband.
I attended a very conservative church at the time, and my youth pastor said he wanted to have a talk. I agreed because I’d known him half my life and considered him a friend. I told him that it was a boy and we had a name picked out, and we were planning to get married that summer. He promptly began to tell me that I wouldn’t be a good mother and that if I married my boyfriend, he would just abandon us and then I would abandon my child. Then he began to tell me about all the families he had lined up to take my baby. I left sobbing and I never came back to that church and I never talked to him again.
Today is my first wedding anniversary, and my son is the best kid alive. Just because my family isn’t conventional doesn’t mean we can’t be happy with our crazy situation.”
This Father Is Glad He Didn’t Hear This In Person
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“This happened to my wife when she was pregnant with our second child. Our 2-year-old was born with a condition affecting bone growth and was wearing his prosthetic leg.
A complete stranger approached my wife at the supermarket checkout and asked if she was pregnant. My wife said yes. I’m glad I wasn’t there to hear the stranger say, ‘That’s a bit selfish, isn’t it? What if this one comes out deformed as well?’
My wife laughed in the woman’s face, turned to our son and said, ‘Look, buddy, that’s what a stupid person looks like!'”