Way To Put A Damper On The Funeral
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“This happened to my wife’s grandmother. She’s still alive (in her 90s) and her father had a secret second family. They met at his funeral.
When the secret wife saw the life this man had built and lived with his public wife, the secret wife said: ‘I always knew there was someone else, but I didn’t know that I was the someone else.'”
That Would Be An Uncomfy Family Reunion
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“My cousins’ dad (my uncle by marriage) had a secret family. He worked in Houston during the week and came home to the family in Harlingen, Texas on the weekend.
It was kind of always a family joke between my cousins and her siblings. You know, like ‘wouldn’t it be funny if dad actually had a secret family and that’s why he’s never here?’
Then they found out it was true. A wife and three kids, just like my cousin, very similar ages. The two families had almost identical lives. My uncle had been married the whole time to both my aunt and this other lady. Everyone thought it was some sick joke when they found out. But nope.”
How Does He Keep Up With That Many Families?
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“My coworker’s sister married this guy who turned out to be having about three affairs. She gave birth to their first son, the guy’s mistress gave birth about two weeks after, so the idiot decided to name both of his sons the same first name (they both shared his second name). So about three years later, his wife went to get the birth certificate for her son and the lady in the office gave her the one that belonged to the mistress’ son, which is how she found out about the whole situation.
They’re divorced now and it turned out the guy has 11 children with five different women.”
So It’s Like The Parent Trap, But Without The Disney Charm
“This happened to two guys I went to school with. Their dad had a secret second family for 14 years, until both his sons, who both had the same first, middle, AND last name, ended up at the same high school together. In the same class, even. They also looked so similar to each other that they may as well have been twins. They both immediately confronted their parents in a, ‘Hey, something weird happened today…’ way, and that’s it, the secret was out.
The wife and the mistress left him not long after, but the half-brothers went on to be really good friends.
To clarify, these two guys didn’t live anywhere near each other. It was a specialized high school that you had to apply to get into. So, some students lived five minutes away from campus, some lived 90 minutes away.”
That Might Be Worse Than Finding Out About A Secret Family…
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“As far as I know, my biological dad has kept me a secret from the rest of his family for 23 years. Pretty sure I have 3 half-siblings who are all 10-20+ years older than me. It’s kind of wild when I think about it, but I typically don’t.
I put together a little family tree using online obituaries and directories which has been super interesting (social media hasn’t been helpful as he is in the legal field and has his socials on lockdown). I’m fairly confident I was a byproduct of him cheating on his wife, which is what complicates the entire situation.
I’m terrified of forever changing life as they know it. I also am very happy with the family I have with my mom and stepdad, and feel little desire to try and connect with a man who never wanted me to exist in the first place. I guess in my mind, the risk far outweighs the potential reward, but I suppose I could come to change or regret this mindset down the line.”
His Dad Cheated On His Mom… And Then It Got A Whole Lot Worse
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“After my parents’ 10th year anniversary church wedding, someone called the church registrar saying that she was the legal wife, not my mom. The secretary from the registrar proceeded to call my mom to inform her about it. My mom did investigations of her own a full week after the event and eventually found out that my dad now has a daughter with his mistress, and has been staying with them five days in a week. His excuse was always that work is hectic so he might as well stay at someone’s place. Yeah right.
My mom decided to break off the relationship (annulment is expensive from where we live. Divorce is being discussed in the supreme court), and the whole family was in chaos. My grandparents on my father’s side wanted custody of my three brothers and me, but we fought til they gave up because we saw how distraught our mom was and she only had us for support since our aunt and grandma were living a bit far from where we were. They had a final meeting, we asked why my dad decided to cheat for the nth time.
He said to my mom, ‘It’s because I am a weak man and you are too trusting, so I decided to cheat on you again.’ A few years later, he decided to take away our educational plans and life savings because of his gambling addiction. His parents were holding it for us that whole time because my brothers and I were still minors. He forged their signatures and was able to cash all of it.
So, yeah. 15 years after that, we barely have contact with him, but we know he has a new family (again). We actually saw him again during my second brother’s funeral two years ago, didn’t communicate as much. My mom is doing okay, my brothers and I are doing okay. We just have terrible trust issues.
To explain the annulment/ divorce situation, we’re in the Philippines, where annulment is not affordable and divorce is not an option yet. I am supportive of the divorce bill which is an ongoing discussion as I have seen various women and men suffer from being left by their partners due to abuse, neglect, being cheated on, etc., and they are forced to accept that it’s how their life will be.”
That’s Definitely Not The DNA Test He Thought He Was Getting…
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“Well my wife has recently found out she has at least eight half-siblings. Apparently, another sibling did a ’23 & Me’ test and made her results public or something.
One of the unknown half-siblings had done the same, and voila.”
They Were Closer Than They Thought
“I had a friend in high school who started dating this girl that had the same last name as him.
Turns out she was his half sister and his dad was raising two families he kept secret from each other.
They ended up figuring this out because the girl’s mother walked in on them. She demanded to talk to his parents and turns out his dad is also her daughter’s dad.”
Well That Turned A Tragedy Into An Awkward Encounter
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“The dad of a friend of mine died when he was 14 years old. Two families showed up at the hospital. The guy had two wives and five kids total. No one knew anything, it was a huge shock and it messed up everyone involved basically.
Many years later, my friend is close and has a good relationship with his half siblings but his mom and sisters never really gotten over it and pretend they don’t exist…
I didn’t know my friend when his dad died and it’s not like he is super open about this and likes discussing it. From what I gathered, the father had a heart attack and was basically dead when he got to the hospital. The two wives showed up to the hospital, my friend’s mom was the one who was actually legally married to the guy and the other woman had just been living with the guy for 15 plus years. So my friend’s mom did the funeral since legally she had more power, but his other ‘wife’ and children showed up as well and wanted to say goodbye, I guess.
Some friends of the guy knew what was going on, including, for example, my friend’s godfather. So they kind of had to explain some of it.
There are a lot of details that I don’t know. Like I said I didn’t know my friend when he was 14 and all of this happened and this is what I have put together through some of his stories and comments. He is not very open about the subject which is only natural.”
He Just Wanted A Daughter, But He Lost Everything
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“I’m the second ‘secret’ family. My dad was married and had four sons. He really wanted a daughter and his wife couldn’t have anymore kids. He met my mom at work and they started seeing each other and they had me all while my dad was still married. The weird thing is he never really kept me secret. I’ve always known his now ex-wife, who I also call mom because half the time she was helping raise me, and I know all my siblings.
None of us are very close but I know who they are and I see them every once in a while. My dad and his ex-wife got divorced the same year my mom broke up with him, this was when I was 10, but my dad and ‘stepmom’ still live in the same house because my dad has some health issues. They were staying together for the kids, which just made everything worse.
My mom HATES my stepmom and dad and almost didn’t come to a bunch of things when I was a senior in high school because they would both be there. My stepmom tries to be civil with my mom but my mom refuses to be nice to her, even though she didn’t do anything wrong. It really all just messed up our ‘family’ and no one is close to me or my parents. My brothers hate my dad more than I ever have. The whole ‘wanting a daughter’ thing didn’t work out too well for him considering we aren’t close because he messed up everyone over in the process.”
She Babysat His Other Kid And Didn’t Even Know
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“My husband was having an affair with a friend of the family. I didn’t know that the ‘friend’s’ youngest child was my husbands until he was 7 years old.
I was his babysitter when he was an infant and I discovered it through years of inconsistency that made me wonder and I confronted him. Within a few months, he came clean and left. It caused a lot of damage.
We divorced and he married her. I later married the husband of my dreams, one that’s faithful. We’ve been married 16 years now.
There is life after misery.”
He Gave Her Everything, Except The Truth
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“My best friend’s father passed away when he was young. His mother, who owned a business at the time, was raising her two kids, who were a year apart. While they weren’t struggling, her business was unable to grow since she had to pay herself so much to keep care of the kids.
A few years later, she ran into her high school sweetheart and they re-established their connection and eventually started dating. He had two kids, near the same age as both of hers. His wife had passed away a year prior and he worked as a regional manager for a very large, very profitable company. So he was rich and sad.
He eventually helped them buy a house under her name, which was previously owned by an average-paid NFL player, with bedrooms for both sets of kids. He bought her a boat. He bought her a car. You name it. With his purchases, she was able to reinvest capital in her business and it took off fairly well. Two or three years went by and she was able to afford much nicer things by herself.
Around Junior year of my friend’s high school, things between them got even more serious and she started asking to get married. My friend’s sister viewed him as her dad, practically. (Never called him that, though.) I jokingly called them mom and dad because I spent a good deal of the summer at their house. She knew about his two kids, but the two kids did not know about them.
After three years, he still had never told his kids about his secret family. He explained to them that he was traveling, even during week-long cruises. This continued for another two years despite her nagging. He justified himself by saying he wanted all the kids to graduate high school first.
This past Christmas, after five years, everyone had graduated high school, my friend’s mom had had enough. She dug into his friends’ lives and they eventually told her that he was still married. His wife was still alive.
My friend’s mom kept her house and several other things he had bought under her and her kids’ names. Her business is now in a great spot and she easily provides for her kids’ college.
This man had two full families and spoiled both of them rotten, and kept it a secret for five years. I’m still furious.”
This Meeting Was Long Overdue
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“So growing up, we would take trips to see my father’s mom (I don’t call her grandmom because she is a monster) in Florida and there was always this old man with her. I asked my dad if that was his dad and he said no, his dad died in WW2 and this old guy was her husband. I was about 8 at this time.
Fast forward to 1995. I was 16. We went to a family reunion and I remember seeing my dad very angry and upset but he didn’t say anything that day. When we got back from the family reunion, I heard my mom and dad talking about what happened…
Apparently, my dad was talking to one of his distant relatives and said he wished he had a chance to know his dad before he died. Well, the relative said, ‘Your dad isn’t dead, I spoke to him last month, he lives in New Mexico.’ So my dad had asked if she would give him his phone number and she declined but she said she would give him his address and my dad could write him a letter; if he got a response great! If not he had to promise to leave it alone.
Well, my dad wrote his letter and few months later, he received a phone call from his father. My dad was 38 years old when he finally got to hear his father’s voice. My dad booked a flight out to meet him the next day.
My father’s mom told my dad that his dad died in WW2 and told my grandfather she had a miscarriage. So both of them never knew the other was alive.
When my father’s mom found out he found he had made contact with his dad, she became furious and didn’t speak to our family for about 10 years.
My dad asked me if I wanted to go to his mom’s funeral and I declined. But I did go to his father’s funeral two years ago because he was a good man and a wonderful grandfather.”
The Secrets Were Two Too Many
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“My mother had me and my brother before she knew my father had a real family so technically, we were the secret family, but we have a pretty good relationship with him despite that. Then a week ago, my mother and I visited the college I’ll be attending this fall. In the middle of the two hour trip to the university, out of the blue she told me that the father I know is not my real father, just my brother’s.
Turns out she had an affair and had me with another man while they were still together. I met the man once when I was 9; he randomly (but now I know, not so randomly) gave me a birthday gift after just meeting me.
Turns out, he has a family of his own with I think three kids and a wife. They know nothing about me, and I want it to stay that way. My mother also told me that he sends us money every month for my expenses, but I have no idea what dear old mom does with it since she doesn’t give me an allowance and my ‘father’ (brother’s biological dad) pays for most of our bills.
I cried for about an hour in the car after she told me and all she said to me then was, ‘Stop crying. It changes nothing.’
I didn’t speak to her during the tour nor on the way home, and now she’s continuing to act like nothing happened and everything’s normal. My brother and ‘father’ have no idea and I still don’t understand why she told me then or why she said anything at all.
Basically my family is my father’s secret family, but I’m actually the product of a different affair, so I’m technically part of two secret families.”
That Can’t Be Legal For A Doctor
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“One of my friends’ mom had a DNA test done and the results said she had a ton of siblings and cousins. It was odd since she had one brother, another adopted brother, and no cousins.
As it turns out, her mom was having trouble getting pregnant so she went to see some really well-renowned specialist who helped her become pregnant. But all this doctor did was take some of the husband’s baby batter and mixed it with his own and then they would get pregnant. Because of his practices, he fathered a ton of children, many of whom probably still don’t know.”
Wouldn’t “Bring Your Kid To Work” Day Be An Issue Too?
“This happened to my wife’s friend. The father was a fireman and his two daughters lived down the block. It turns out he had a second family, also with two daughters, a few blocks away.
The second woman knew he had a wife and kids, but they never told their daughters. The fireman did one of those safety talks in school and gave a hug to one of the daughters from the second family before he left. My wife’s friend witnessed her father hugging a girl in another class and asked about it at dinner. Things went down hill from there.
The couple didn’t divorce but his wife kept him on a close leash. The other woman and children moved a farther away into a different school district and he saw them very rarely.
The children were ones who suffered but I seem to remember hearing that two of them met later in life and ended up staying in touch.
I had a friend of a friend that was in a similar situation; when the father died, the two sons and the mother discovered that he had a second family somewhere around. One of the sons felt he had to tell the other kids–also two boys–what had happened. They were all in the mid-to-late twenties and they met a few times and hit it off. The four of them socialize with each other and feel they’re brothers, the (legal) widow is furious and hates that they have a relationship.”
That’s A Bit Scarier Than A Secret Family
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“This wasn’t necessarily a secret family (as far as I know) but my dad got caught having multiple affairs with a few addicts, which is strange because we’re an upper-middle-class suburban family. He was always leaving for emergency work calls when he was actually bailing the women out of jail.
My mom found a random diamond necklace and couldn’t get into their bank account. He had spent over $20k on treatment for the other women so he locked her out of it. My sister finally found text messages and so did my mother. One of the women was only three years older than my sister and the other was my mom’s age. The younger woman overdosed and died but the other is still obsessed with my dad and has tried to come to our house.
It’s been a few years from the first time he was caught and they just now separated after he was caught texting the same women multiple times.”
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