Having a twin brother or sister is automatically pretty cool. You get to share clothes with them, have a playmate growing up, and a lot of people say they can almost communicate telepathically with their twin.
But things get a little more complicated when it comes to relationships. These people were on the other side of it and had the experience of dating someone who was a twin. It's crazy how they seem to face a lot of the same issues!
(Content has been edited for clarity)
Just Tell Me Which One You Are!
“In college, I dated an identical twin. They were inseparable and even lived in the same dorm room. They were both attractive but seemed to have limited success when it came to men (hence scraping the bottom of the barrel with me). A month or so in, I found out why.
Neither of them were very easy to read in an outgoing sort of way, and they were impossible to tell apart. When I would bump into one of them around campus, I wouldn’t know if it was the one I was dating or not. They wouldn’t give any indications, so I found myself frozen in how I should be acting toward them. They probably thought guys weren’t interested in them at times, but it just became too confusing to choose the appropriate social response in situations where just one was there.
Yes, I was attracted to both of them to answer the question, but they should move to different cities, and they will likely have better success at carving their own path.”
Their First Relationship Was A Strange One
“When I was 9 years old, I was best friends with identical twins named Xavier and Fabian. One time we were playing hide and seek, and Fabian and I hid together and ended up kissing. He automatically became my boyfriend because that’s how childhood logic works.
Then, Fabian let Xavier pretend to be him so he could kiss me. They thought I couldn’t tell the difference between them, but I could, and I just went along with it anyway because it was fun. This went on for a long time, and now that I think back on it, it must have been so weird for everyone around us because we were all so obviously in a weird three-way relationship that everyone refused to acknowledge.”
A Twin Can Bring Up Some Tough Memories
“A girl I dated in high school was a twin, and they were almost identical. But to me, I always could tell them apart. Even on the phone when everyone else couldn’t, I could somehow tell who was who. To me, they were different people.
The girl eventually passed away from an eating disorder about 10 years ago, and I can’t stand to see her twin since. I’m afraid too many bad memories would surface, as she was always the one that got away.”
They’re Practically Joined At The Hip
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“First things first, I can tell them apart easily, and when it’s early on in the dating process, you learn real quick who’s who to avoid making a mistake. I only say that because people regularly ask me if I can tell them apart. My girlfriend and her sister look identical, but they have some slight differences in the face. Also, my girlfriend (though she won’t admit it) is about half an inch shorter.
Between my girlfriend and her sister, they are best friends and hang out regularly, and her sister joins us on many of our trips and outings. I’m not attracted to them in the same way though, as they have pretty different personalities, and her sister (because we are around each other so much) feels more like a little sister to me. I love them both, but I’m not in love with them both if that makes sense. Obviously, I think her sister is attractive, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t think my girlfriend is attractive, but when in a relationship with someone it becomes so much more than looks, and I wouldn’t trade my girlfriend for her sister any day of the week.
The only effect I’ve seen relationship-wise is that sometimes I have to ask her sister to give us space or let us do something alone, as she always wants to join us and doesn’t have a boyfriend of her own. She understands, though, and doesn’t take it personally from what I can see. So to answer the question directly, yes I find them both physically attractive but I am not attracted to them both in the same way, and there are no serious effects to the relationship with my girlfriend having a twin.”
They Complete Each Other’s Paragraphs
“I’m an identical twin. My identical twin and I are close. We’re 27, and both male. By ‘close,’ I mean we have a relationship that is more intimate than most people we know have with their spouses. Obviously, I don’t mean lewd when I say our relationship is intimate. We just know each other’s thoughts, agree about things to a great depth, and don’t just finish each other’s sentences, we finish each other’s paragraphs. You would think we spoke another language sometimes because we jump five sentences ahead to complete each other’s thoughts.
I think dating has always been an easy thing regarding girls being attracted to one of us and not the other because we are very different in personality and that does make up a large part of one’s attractiveness. However, I think it can be intimidating for someone to witness how close and intimate we are, especially if they are striving for that role or type of relationship. It can be discouraging. So my brother and I tend to see each other less when we meet new people. It’s a strange thing.
I honestly feel like my twin is the only person who understands me on the deepest possible level, and simply put, that can be a hard thing for someone who is dating him or me to deal with if they know that. It’s not a contest, just a strange reality.”
Get Your Act Together, Dude
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“I’m not dating a twin, but I am a triplet, so I watch this all happen to my sisters.
We look ridiculously similar even now as adults–although my sister now has dip-dyed her hair blonde, so I’m sure that will stop some confusion.
Sister #1 is still dating her high school boyfriend. He is dumb as a rock and still can’t tell he’s attempting to kiss me or Sister #2 and not his girlfriend. He regularly calls us by his girlfriend’s name, and can’t seem to figure out that I wear glasses and neither of my sisters do. However, they’ve been together for four years and still seem to like each other, so I guess it’s working for them.
Sister #2 now dates around. I have been asked out by people thinking I was her too many times to count. Sometimes I let them know they’ve got the wrong girl, and sometimes I just tell them I’ll get back to them.”
They Kept It Casual, And Identical
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“I slept with a twin a few times. I met her through a workmate who used to date the other twin (they were on good terms and occasionally banged as well). After the first twin and I slept together, my workmate started asking all these questions–what things looked like, if she did this and that, etc. It turns out they were quite the same in bed and with very, very similar physical attributes.
As for the case of attractiveness, the one I was sleeping with would get pretty ‘freaky’ but only when we were alone. The other was an exotic dancer and posts lingerie pics on her Instagram, so I found myself being attracted to her as well.”
Freckles And Dimples Will Do It
“I’m not attracted to my boyfriend’s twin. Partly because I find his personality a little obnoxious, but also my boyfriend has bigger arms and shoulders, more freckles, and has dimples when he smiles–all of which I find more attractive.
When we were first dating, I found it harder to tell them apart. One night, I went to see my boyfriend at his house and knocked on the door. I thought it was his brother that opened the door. I said ‘hey’ and went to walk inside, so when he pulled me in for a kiss I was like ‘What the heck?!’ It was super early on, so he thought maybe he had been too handsy or something. Sadly, I never told him the truth, because I just couldn’t bring myself to say, ‘sorry, I thought you were your brother.'”
When Twins Fight, No One Wins
“The only twin story I have is about identical twin brothers who hated each other and dated the same girl at various points. The one she was currently dating freaked out because he found out we were hanging out with his brother (I had no idea about their relationship). The brother she was currently dating kicked in the apartment door, with a knife to kill the twin. We locked ourselves in the bedroom and called the police. It was crazy.
Years later, I bumped into her little brother. Apparently, she married the one who pulled the knife. I was only 17 when all that went down.”
She Got It Twisted
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“My older brothers are twins. One of them was married, and the other was not, however, they are very close, and they went to school together, so my brother’s wife knew him very well. My brother’s wife had to have a procedure done under anesthesia, and for some reason, her husband couldn’t pick her up, so his twin picked her up from the doctor’s office. Well, in her silly state she was convinced that the twin that picked her up was her husband, and was very upset when he would not kiss her, etc.
He got her back to her apartment where she was inconsolable until her husband came home. He tried to console her, but she was convinced that HE was the twin. So she had them switched in her head, and was freaking out. Eventually, they got her to go to sleep, and when she woke up, it was all sorted out.”
He Made His Choice
“My soon-to-be wife is an identical twin.
Her sister lived with us for a bit a couple of years back, which was interesting. They share each other’s clothes, which has led to a couple of ‘incidents,’ shall we say, but they’re understanding when I mix them up.
Their personalities are pretty different, and I’m pretty sure I’ve chosen the right one. We’ve been together nearly seven years!”
The Third Time’s A Charm, Or So He Thought
“I knew someone a while back who asked triplets out on dates. He asked out one and got rejected, so he asked the next one. She also declined him, so he went to ask the third. However, he got them mixed up and asked the second one again, who said no again. Finally got around to the third and asked her on a date, where she also rejected him.
That’s the story of how a guy I knew got rejected by three sisters four times.”
He Prefers Arnold To Danny
“My wife is a twin. They are identical, but I refer to them as Arnold (Schwarzenegger) and Danny (DeVito) from the movie ‘Twins.’ My wife is the Arnold. She did swimming in high school and to this day still has a more muscular physique. Her sister is much skinnier and has a lot of health problems. Add to that, they have very different personalities. So in my opinion, I married the ‘better’ twin and just don’t have that much attraction to her sister (I mean, they are still identical, to say I didn’t find her at all attractive would be a lie).
That said, the first time I accidentally said that my wife was the better twin my wife was ecstatic! I think in her opinion that is the sweetest thing I have ever told her.”
Bill Needs His Beard
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“A friend of mine named Bill is a twin. The way that Bill and his brother distinguish themselves from each other is that Bill has a beard, while his brother doesn’t.
Once Bill tried shaving his beard, but his wife made him grow it back. She said kissing clean-shaven Bill seemed too much like kissing her brother-in-law instead of her husband.
Also, in college, I was briefly interested in a twin (until I asked her out and she said no, at which point I moved on). But I do remember that she and her sister, although they looked identical, were very different in personality. One (my crush) was a theater nerd. Her sister was a biker chick. I probably wouldn’t have been interested if I’d met the biker first.”
She Makes A Good Babysitter, That’s For Sure
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“My wife has an identical twin. Her twin is married to a good friend from grade school. My sister-in-law watches our child every day along with her children. Honestly, it’s not that weird to me, and I don’t have an inherent attraction towards her. I feel comfortable around her because they are similar, but their personalities are different.
I always get asked if I can tell them apart because nobody outside of our family can tell them apart, but I can in a heartbeat.
In terms of affecting our relationship, I feel awful for my wife because she doesn’t get to hang out with her as much as she would like. We all have new families so we all don’t get to hang out as much as we would like.
Luckily her family is close, so we do get to see everyone quite often. We do get a lot of looks going out, and from time to time people say they have met my wife and it was her sister, or they said they met me or heard about me, but it’s my brother-in-law.”
Not All Lookalikes Are Twins
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“I’m not a twin, but my sister and I get asked that a lot and get stopped by people thinking we are twins. (Think Penelope Cruz’s sister level of similarity, as in we look so similar there is no doubt we are related.) It doesn’t help that we have the same physique, let alone our faces. We also share clothes a lot because we’re just used to growing up not wasting anything.
I have a boyfriend, but she doesn’t. There were some interesting conversations at the beginning between my boyfriend and me, but we’ve been together for a while now, and he treats her like a sister. Plus, our personalities are opposites.
But physical-wise, my boyfriend is pretty honest and can’t deny that she is attractive. Whenever I compliment my sister’s looks, my boyfriend annoyingly points out that I’m complimenting myself.”
Be Careful Who You Grab
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“My son’s father is an identical twin. They are connected. One can walk into a room and stare at the other, and they have a full-blown conversation without saying a word. At first it was borderline creepy, but eventually just ticked me off. If one is hurt–the other feels it.
They have day and night personalities, though. They can’t ever get along and can’t ever be apart either. My ex kept his hair short, but his brother kept shoulder-length hair and did have features unlike his brother’s. Seeing them in photos as children though, I couldn’t tell them apart. They also had a brother only 11 months older than them who too, looked just like them.
Once, my ex’s twin chopped his long hair off so it looked just like my ex’s. He had on a pair of my ex’s cargo shorts on, and when he walked by me, I just grabbed his butt. He jerked around and said, ‘Wrong butt, ya butt.’ His girlfriend, their mom, and my ex all witnessed it. I. Was. Mortified.”
She Hid Her Attraction For A Good Reason
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“I dated an identical twin for four and a half years. Yes, I was attracted to his twin too, but I never told my boyfriend! It wasn’t an issue–in much the same way that you can be attracted to a colleague, for example, but you wouldn’t dream of doing anything about it because you’re in a happy relationship.
Although I was attracted to his twin (and I was never really surprised by that–they did look the same after all), I don’t think I could ever have fallen in love with him. I preferred my boyfriend’s personality. Interestingly enough, I was asked reasonably regularly over the course of the relationship whether I was attracted to the twin. I always said no back then though, because if it had gotten back to my boyfriend, it would have hurt him and probably messed with his head a little.”
He Was Trying To Apologize, But He Made Things A Lot Worse
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“My girlfriend is a triplet. It has caused me problems. At her oldest sister’s wedding (she’s not one of the triplets), I went to make up with my girlfriend about not being able to dance due to a recent ACL tear. So I walked up behind her, spun her around, and kissed her. My girlfriend has a lip piercing and a tongue piercing, and she had both in at the wedding, but this woman did not have either of those. It was at this point my girlfriend kicked out the cane I was using to walk, and I went down.
Also, there have been times when I would walk up behind her and smack her butt only to realize that it was one of her sisters. Heck, I even talked to one of her sisters about how my girlfriend was giving me a hard time that day… only to realize I was talking to my girlfriend.
I do find them attractive, but my girlfriend is more my style because she has tattoos and piercings that they do not. The other two only have ear studs and one of them; the oldest has a ‘tramp stamp’ of a unicorn being ridden by a skeleton, holding the head of a nun. I like that tattoo.”