Women (and men) dream about their special day. But no one ever includes the awful possibility that one might actually be rude enough to object at their wedding in their fantasies. Although, by the looks of the following stories, many of us should probably warm up to the idea...
(Points are edited for clarity).
The Wedding Was Interrupted By A Proposal
“At my cousin’s wedding, her twin brother interrupted at that moment to propose to his then-girlfriend. He had a huge speech prepared and everything. The bride and groom were clearly appalled. The mother was trying to get him to sit down, but man was he determined. The worst part was likely his girlfriend saying no.
Talk about an awkward wedding!”
She Was Kicked Out
“I went to a gay wedding last summer.
One of the grooms’ sister stood up and yelled, ‘Marriage is a MAN and a WOMAN!’
She got kicked out and to add insult to injury, it was their parents who escorted her out.”
There’s Still A Chance…Right?
“So I was chilling with my friends before it happened. One of them, before we entered the room, was all, ‘Oh I’m going to act a fool when they ask for objections’. However, he was all inflated and didn’t act on his words at all throughout our many encounters, so we joke around a bit more before we enter and sit down at our designated spots. Then the wedding was about to begin.
I noticed something peculiar about the face of the woman who was being married. Then it hit me. And when they asked, ‘If anyone has a reason…’ I responded,
‘THAT’S WHO I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DATING TOMORROW.’
Everybody laughed, I ran out in embarrassment. It turns out, the girl that I met online had a sister – a twin sister, who was now married to my friend, who never brought this up before.
I texted her one final time after the incident for a date at the movies; she responded ‘maybe’ and never came back to that conversation.
So there’s still a chance.”
The Ceremony Went On As Planned
“This happened at one of my friend’s sibling’s weddings. Her parents are suuuuper conservative and hadn’t gotten the chance to know the daughter’s fiancé very well before they got married. In their minds, all that was relevant about him was that he was 10 years older than her and had been previously divorced. They had made subtle and not-so-subtle comments here and there before the wedding that they weren’t happy about it. It should have been a forewarning of what was to come.
The day of the wedding, everything was beautiful. My friend’s sister and her fiancé were ecstatic to be getting married and invited friends and family from both sides to their outdoor wedding. All was going well until the preacher asks the audience if anyone has objections as to why they should get married…and as serious as can be, dad of the bride stands up and says, ‘Her mother and I object,’ and then after a long hesitation sits back down.
Silence.
No one can believe that that just happened. Not knowing exactly how to handle it, the preacher just says ‘okay’ and finishes the ceremony as planned. I can’t even imagine how the bride and groom must have felt. My friend says the tension in the room was unbelievable. But they got married all the same, they just do a lot of avoiding the in-laws as one might imagine.”
Not That Jerry
“I’m sitting at a wedding for a cousin. Suddenly the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ part happens and instantly total silence. The wedding does not continue. The priest is obviously waiting for something. A relative is squirming in his seat beside me muttering that he can’t believe that he has to be the one who has to do this. I asked him what he meant…
He casually explains that cousin Jerry was cheating on his bride with a girl named Heather. I explain that wasn’t Jerry’s girlfriend…
He answers, ‘Yes a secret girlfriend’ and asked if I could I believe it…
I say, no not groom Jerry the other Jerry. He realizes that in our family, we had at least 7 Jerrys, 2 who actually called themselves Jerry. And guess what… Heather was other Jerry’s girlfriend.
He actually spread this false rumor around to about 30 percent of the bloody congregation and slipped a hundred dollars to the priest. Not that he took it… no, it took a couple threats about clocking a holy man for him to take the hint.
Luckily the couple wasn’t mad, they were just happy to be getting married and accepted the priest’s apology afterward about the pause. It may have been a bit more awkward for the guests as this was not a couple second pause, but more like 2-3 minutes.”
One Too Many Drinks
“I was at a college buddy’s wedding when a childhood friend (that had one too many drinks) of the bride tried to stand up and profess his love for her.
The bride’s father immediately stood up and tried to haul off said guy by the ear, except he was so pissed he pulled too hard and partially severed the guy’s ear. I was also pretty tipsy and laughed a little too hard when the dude screamed like a small girl, but I was not the only one. A few people even applauded.”
“I Might Have Been Wrong”
“My ex-stepmom was getting married to my cousin. I really like my cousin, and my ex-stepmom is one of the worst people I know, so I tried to talk him out of it, but he was committed.
They said their vows and everything, but when the pastor asked if anyone objected, I stood up. I talked about how terrible of a person my ex-stepmom was, and how she was tricking my cousin. I practically begged him not to marry her, but he wouldn’t even look at me. After a minute of me talking, I realized that everyone else in the room was actively hating me, so I left. They’re still married to this day — five years next Thursday. They seem to be genuinely happy.
I’m starting to wonder if I just had the wrong idea about my ex-stepmom. I go over to their house sometimes and eat dinner””
“Best Friends” With The Groom Alright
“This was a close friend of mine’s wedding.
I had known this dude for years. We’ll call him Ray.
Ray met a girl we’ll call Katie, she already had a daughter, cool right? She was never married to the other dude because they just didn’t click and they had a very amicable separation. They shared custody of the child, there was no fighting, no demand for child support, a very in a ‘perfect world’ type situation.
Katie was pretty cool and got along with our friend group pretty well. Soon enough, the old boyfriend she had her daughter with becomes best friends with Ray.
A couple years go by and Ray and Katie decide to get married. And around this time, he confided in me that frequently his best friend (i.e the daughter’s father I’ll name Jeff) made references to this girl, and there was some vague evidence of it not being as amicable a separation as it had seemed.
Jeff was pretty quiet about his life and talked about girls pretty often, but we learned later he had actually been holding out for Katie the WHOLE time.
So assuming Jeff was his best friend, Ray makes him one of the groomsmen along with myself at the wedding. He keeps telling Ray about how great Katie is and not to choke and that he was there for him etc.
Ray then told him to stop cause he was psyching him out.
So, that song and dance is happening and the ceremony is about to begin. Finally meet back up with my significant other at our table, Katie and Jeff’s daughter is playing on the dance floor.
Suddenly the music stops, and the DJ says this song is from Jeff to Katie and says he still loves her, and that it should be him.
Cue ‘It could’ve been me’ by Billy Ray Cyrus BLASTING all over the hall.
Then Jeff goes up and gets on one knee and asks Katie to dance with him and be his wife. She slaps him, Ray loses his marbles and gets in a fight. The cops got called and the wedding was ruined. I went back to the hotel with my significant other and let them all figure it out on their own. They’re divorced now.
I clearly did not have enough drinks to be at that wedding.”
Smart Kid
“My dad marrying his third wife.
My stepbrother and I were in the wedding party. He was about 6, I was 10. The preacher asks if anyone objects and my brother raises his hand so very politely. My dad asks why, and my stepbrother replies, ‘Because I want you to promise to take me fishing whenever I want, first.'”
What Was Really Going On
“It happened at my wedding. Sort of.
My middle brother has a very…odd sense of humor that occasionally causes issues. One of those issues is that he likes to whip his junk out at random times and see how long it takes people to notice. The night before the wedding he told me that at some point during the ceremony he was going to cough loudly, and that would mean his sack was out but I just laughed it off.
Our officiant got to the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ bit and I hear a cough from where my brother was sitting. Both my husband and I whipped around in disbelief, but the audience thought we were daring any of them to say something I guess, so they all laughed.
Little did they know what was actually going down in the crowd.”
“Denny Crane!”
“I stuck my hand up at my mother’s second wedding when I was about nine. I hated the guy. I just got ignored. They divorced two years later and being a cocky eleven-year-old I just said ‘I told you so’.
On a separate occasion, my sister pissed me off on the run up to my wedding because she had a major tantrum because she wasn’t asked to be a bridesmaid. Six years later my sister announces she’s getting married in twenty-four months. When I asked what my role was she told me it was ‘to sit there and shut up’. She asked my son to be page boy who was four at the time. I spent the next two years training him to say ‘Denny Crane’ everytime he heard me say ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ (I was binge-watching the Boston Legal boxset when I got the idea)…
The day of the wedding went perfectly according to plan. The boy followed the bride’s party down the aisle and stood front and center of the church alongside my sister, soon to be brother-in-law, bridesmaids, best man, and vicar. The vicar spoke those immortal words ‘if anyone knows of any lawful reason why these two should not get married, speak now or forever hold your peace’. I was grinning like a jerk as she started the sentence and right on cue my six-year-old boy pointed both index fingers at the vicar with his thumbs raised, winked and said ‘DENNY CRANE’.
This was promptly followed by my sister spinning round to glare at me (I swear if looks could kill I’d have turned to stone and burst into flames simultaneously!). A look of utter confusion on the vicar’s face and the rest of the church. My mother was laughing so hard tears were running down her face (another huge William Shatner fan). It is, to this day, one of my greatest prank accomplishments. My father tore me a new one afterward and the groom thanked me cause he thought it was hilarious. I feel a bit awful cause the boy is now nine and still responds with Denny Crane everytime he hears it (my wife had to gag him at her sister’s wedding).”
“I Squeezed My Daughter’s Toy”
“My brother-in-law’s wedding was quite a stressful event due to a lot of last minute planning that should have been done well in advance (vows written the day of the wedding, etc).
The start of the wedding, I saw a lot of anxious/nervous/stressed people who’d been awake until all hours of the night preparing, so when the, ‘if anyone has any reason’ question came around, I picked up one of my baby daughter’s toys and squeezed it so a loud squeak noise came from the squeaker inside it.
It broke the tension nicely with the family finding it most amusing. I think everyone calmed down a lot after that – certainly the rest of the ceremony seemed to be a lot more relaxed.”
Saved By The Minister
“I sat next to this smelly guy at a wedding once. We were both friends of the bride, but I didn’t know him.
Anyway, we made small talk beforehand but he seemed sweaty and nervous. After the wedding began I looked over and he had a note card in his hand that had a whole thing written on it. I glanced over curiously and read ‘I object’ at the top and thought, ‘Oh no… Oh crap, he’s gonna do the thing. This gross sweaty man is going to ruin my friend’s wedding.’
But the minister never said the ‘if anyone has a reason’ line, thank God. I opted not to tell anyone about that since it’s possible that I misread the card or the situation, but he didn’t make a speech at the reception, so I don’t know what the card was for if not that.”
Another Man Could Take Your Wife
“In my culture, another man could come and forcefully take her away to be his wife instead during the ceremony. But that’s why we traditionally have the grooms brothers and uncle ‘guard’ the wife.
The one time I did see this happen was when the bride’s ex-boyfriend pulled up in a van and with a couple of guys, but what they didn’t know was that my family has the tallest Asians around (all above 6 feet). That day they got stomped.
My parents are from Laos by the way. Specifically the Hmong culture. Most Hmong Americans nowadays don’t follow those rules anymore because it is really messed up.”
“My Brother Didn’t Make It”
“I just recently got married.
It was the coldest temperature on record and, to make matters worse, the stomach bug was going around town full force.
My poor brother got the stomach bug right before the ceremony started. He was our only groomsman as well. While everyone was walking in, he was already as pale as a ghost and swaying back and forth. Then, when the question was asked, he raises his hand and says he isn’t going to make it, then rushes out of the ceremony to the nearest restroom.
He is still embarrassed by it and won’t talk to me about it. I tried to make a joke about seeing his sister in a wedding dress and not being able to stomach it, but, I know he is beating himself up about it.
I know he surfs the internet so, if he happens to come across this, I want him to know that I am very glad he drove all the way there, got a tux, helped out with the ceremony, and made an appearance and that I love him very much and that he shouldn’t worry about it. He didn’t ‘ruin’ my wedding, and my only regret is that I wasn’t able to get a photo with him before he left, but we can always photoshop him in, so no worries!”
No One Will Ever Know…
“I was a waiter at a venue that had a lot of weddings. We typically watched the wedding ourselves from the second floor and waited for everyone to come up for the reception.
A guest for the wedding arrived a few hours early, so he sat in the restaurant and had a few too many drinks. He yelled ‘DON’T FREAKING DO IT!’
There was the typical gasp by the crowd, then it was just silence as people from the bar (not part of the wedding, but the bar were outside on the same floor) escorted him out.
I really want to know what happened.”
It Was Said On Purpose
“My friend’s older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a judge who was a friend of theirs.
He and his fiancée thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell ‘I Object’ to which the judge yelled: ‘Overruled!’ It seemed to have gone over well for most but I don’t think some of their family members got it.
I am dying to see the wedding video of it and not the crappy cell phone version.”
That’s One Way To Do It
“The groom asked his smartest friend to be the best man, and he said no. Then he asked his funniest friend, and he too said no. And again, after being turned down by his richest friend, he finally asked his best looking friend. And, well… I figured I couldn’t be the fourth to say no. I was a bit nervous going up on stage though so I prepared a couple lines and once I snorted those out I felt great!
Finally, the speech: ‘Now, I think we all know why we are all here today – fornication. For an occasion such as the bride and groom’s wedding. Now I used to live with the groom when he first started seeing the bride. She was over all the time. I consider myself fortunate to have watched their love develop. When I couldn’t watch, I listened through the door. Just kidding just kidding, but seriously, she’s good. The second she showed up he stopped paying to fornicate altogether and I’ve never seen my dog look at a stranger with such gratitude.’
Then there was an awkward silence.
Boy, it’s deader in here than that dancer from the bachelor party. Amiright? Seriously though, today has been such an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers! THE ARISTOCRATS!”