Not all siblings get along. But these specific siblings are practically on "non-speaking" terms and explain the situation that caused their once sibling-relationship to dissolve.
(Content has been edited for clarity)
His Brother Completely Changed After He Went Abroad
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“My brother left home a sensitive, funny guy; came back from studying overseas as a narcissistic, moody prick. I extended plenty of olive branches, invited him to social gatherings (where he’d play the part of the perpetual obnoxious wet blanket), setting aside his inconsiderate attitude, the rude way he’d treat my parents (taking for granted that they fed and housed his 22-year-old unemployed-self), and generally acting like he was the only person who existed in their household, only ever coming down for food without so much as a ‘hello’ or ‘good morning.’
I tried to help him find work, which he could never keep due to his poor work ethic, ruining any credibility my recommendation had with his employers in the process.
He ignored special occasions on a regular basis, but when he blew off my dad’s 60th birthday, that was nearly the last straw for me. What tipped me over though was when he met someone, and all of a sudden he was taking the parents out for dinner (on their dime of course), putting on this charade of being the dutiful son, so he could get laid.
He’s managed to convince my parents I resent his newfound relationship (a fiction I imagine wasn’t too hard to digest, as I’ve never been great at courting women). As a result, I haven’t been able to revel in any family activities as I’m worried I’ll drink too much and blow my stack, so now I’m slowly growing estranged.
Perhaps I’m overreacting and it’s all in my head, and should let bygones be bygones, but it still feels raw.”
The Parents Are The Ones To Blame For Their Failed Sibling Friendship!
“I have a brother who is six years younger than me who I love very much.
For some reason, I could do nothing right as a teenager. I had to wear a scoliosis brace while I was growing and eventually my grades dropped due to depression/anxiety related to the bullying. My mother used to wail about how I was breaking everyone’s hearts by being such a disappointment (I was a straight A perfectionist in middle school) and my dad would scream at me until spittle flew from his mouth while he held me by the sides of my face, shaking me and screaming that I was a rotten crap who was ruining my life and this family.
I moved out at 18 and shacked up with a boyfriend to get some space, but I went to college and graduated and now work in a field I enjoy for decent pay. I did okay. I didn’t meet everyone’s goals, including some of my own, but I’m alright.
But my brother, who was only around 10 when I was in the middle of my messy high school years, wants nothing to do with me. It came up once in conversation that I hadn’t graduated high school. I asked him what he was talking about. He was under the impression that I dropped out. I had to show him my transcript later before he believed me. His response was: ‘Whatever, you were still an idiot.’
I don’t know how I might fix it because I don’t know how else his perspective is bent. I’m sorry for the turmoil, but it’s been more than 10 years, and adult me knows that my parents played a huge role in dissolving our relationship. I wish we saw each other more often. I wish we had anything in common. Our family is small, and he’s pretty much the only blood I have besides my parents.”
She Didn’t Approve Of His Military Career
“My older sister moved to New York City when she graduated high school. My family was always left-leaning growing up, but mostly because of my dad’s government job. I’m indifferent when it comes to politics and mostly because I don’t pay enough attention, so I don’t want to argue a point misinformed.
I joined the army after a failed attempt at college because I was running out of options. I was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010 and was in a particularly dangerous area most of my deployment. So when I came home for R&R in the middle of my deployment, my dad was going to fly my sister down to visit and have the family together in case anything happened. My older sister refused to come down to visit her younger brother, ‘the baby killer.’ She assumed because I was in the military, that I was some super right-winged weapon nut whatever other stereotype exists. Well, that sort of created some bad blood between us. Despite my efforts to never talk politics or anything that might give her any ammunition to hate me, she avoids me like the plague. Last time she came to town, she purposely kept referring to my girlfriend that I’ve had for two years by my ex-wife’s name. Now it’s kind of turned into a joke in my family because of how irrational she acts towards me despite the fact that I obviously do everything I can to try and keep some sort of relationship with her.”
“She Was Just Evil To The Very Core Of Her”
“My sister was a horrible person her entire life. Our parents separated when we were young, and my dad raised us both. She had access but refused willing mother figures and blamed all her issues on my dad. I went to college and graduated, and she went to a halfway house. She used to tell me I ruined her chance at a normal life because I took all dad’s money to go to college when she knew I paid my own way through college.
She got pregnant at 18 and gave up the child (thank goodness, for the kid). She used to blame her decision to put him up for adoption on us her family. She gave the little guy up to the father’s aunt and uncle who could not conceive and they gave her every chance to be a part of his life as his mother. Yet she decided to drink and smoke and who knows what else.
She would send out these texts to my dad saying she was going to kill herself then go out and party with some friends and have a jolly time for days on end, then get ridiculously pissed that we sent the cops out to find her and check her well being. My dad always had a soft spot for her and would constantly take her back thinking she had changed. He eventually wised up and kicked her out of the house when she was 20 because of the constant mental harassment and degradation. She also stole a couple credit cards in my senile grandmother’s name and racked up a ton of charges. She came back, broke into the house while the family was out at a gathering she expressed no interest in joining, then proceeded to trash the house. There were broken dishes, she destroyed the tv and trashed family heirlooms.
After that, I decided I would never talk to or about her ever again. The last thing I ever said to her was over text: ‘You may have dad fooled, but you are dead to me.’ When my dad and mom try to tell me the latest about her I give them a look and I can see their heart break a little and they stop talking. It feels awful but she pushed me into the darkest depths of depression while playing the victim throughout my entire life. I hid it well and nobody was the wiser, but she was so hurtful and destructive I was close to suicide more than a few times. These are stories most would expect from a bad upbringing, but we had a present parent, were close to family, and while we knew hard times we always had a roof over our heads and lived in a middle-class suburban neighborhood. She was just evil to the core of her.
I am 26 now, working a good job, and live with the love of my life. She will be 23 soon, and it has been six years since we talked. I still have a great relationship with my family, and I don’t regret my decision to drop that problem from my life in any way.”
Her Cousin Kept The Million-Dollar Insurance Plan!
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“Not me but this happened to my cousins (brother and sister). Several years ago, both my uncle and aunt were diagnosed with terminal cancer the same calendar year; even though they were both in the late stages of their respective cancers, they survived for quite some time and so they required a lot of care. Their daughter was forced to quit her job so she could look after both parents during the long, gruesome period before they passed away. Not sure how long it took, but I want to say it was a year and a half where my cousin went through mental and emotional trauma, looking after her elderly parents awaiting their passing. Meanwhile, her wealthy brother lived just a few miles away from their parents, but being a VP of a successful bank, he was busy and was unable to assist outside of providing a tad bit of financial support to her sister while she was looking after their parents.
Eventually, their parents both passed away within a few weeks of each other; while my female cousin was upset about the passing of her parents, she was relieved that A) her parents no longer had to feel the pain of cancer, destroying their bodies and B) she didn’t have to look after them anymore and could return to a hopefully normal life.
After they buried their parents, they met with their parent’s lawyer who revealed to them that they each had a life insurance plan that totaled over $1.5 million. However, they assigned both policies to the son, and so it was up to the son to decide if he’d give any of the money to his sister, which he, unfortunately, decided against. He kept all the money for himself and didn’t share any of it with his sister, arguing that he gave her more than enough during the time period she was looking after their parents and that he had no obligation to share any of the money. My cousin was heartbroken that her brother wouldn’t share any of the money, and she was too mentally exhausted from the nearly two years of looking after her parents that she did not have it in her to retain an attorney to try to get a share of the money. She just decided to cut ties with him, and so they ended up not speaking for several years. I’m big on family and forgiveness, but I support my cousin for cutting ties with her brother and not speaking to him since that incident. He’s a dirtbag, so I’m glad they’re no longer talking.”
The Parents Had To Change All Of The Door Locks Because Of Her!
“My sister and I are seven years apart.
When she was in high school, she started hanging out with the wrong crowd and got into illegal substances. She stole checks from my dying grandfather and stole about $60,000 from him. It was so bad, my parents changed all the locks, nailed the windows shut, and put deadbolts on their room and mine. She became pregnant (didn’t stop using illegal substances) and gave the baby up for adoption. She went to jail a few times for selling illegal substances.
Fast forward to about 10 years and two children later. Her husband started cheating on her. My parents paid for her divorce and flew all three of them back to the same state as us. She went behind my parents back and remarried her (ex) husband.
She has made so many terrible choices that she is no one I want a relationship with. I would never go to her for advice or support. I don’t care that I don’t have a relationship with her because we never had one, to begin with.”
Everyone Just Keeps Using Him For Their Own Personal Benefits
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“I worked my butt off in high school. I was the only one of five children with a 4.0 GPA in school. Only one of five children who went to college. My parents bought me a $6,000 violin in high school, which I used to get at least that much in scholarships for school. All other siblings had chances at getting school paid for and high-end instruments, but they blew it by behaving like jerks and treating my parents like crap and showing no dedication or effort.
Yet, somehow, it’s my fault their lives suck. I was the golden child, they say. Our parents ‘did things for you they never did for me.’
This stuff gets old. On top of it all, after they say crap like that they have the nerve to ask me for help when they move, have tech issues, need help with finances. And my dumb-self shows up and gets used every time because I’m the kind of person who wants to help people.”
The Sisters Were Draining Their Mother’s Bank Account?
“I’m 58 and have three older sisters. They’re 12, 10 and two years older than me. They’re self-centered narcissists (a trait I share to some extent but work hard at not being) who have treated me poorly for as long as I can remember. Ongoing mental and emotional abuse, psychological manipulation, gaslighting, that sort of thing. They did it partially for the pleasure but largely, I think, for practice – working out their techniques to use on others.
As an adult, I kept them at arm’s length for many years, interacting with them only enough to keep peace with my parents and participate in family events. But after my dad passed, the sister closest in age to me moved back in with my mom and, as my mom’s health declined, began draining mom’s bank accounts. What finally killed my relationship with them was that the other sisters refused to back me when I tried to stop the ongoing theft.
Unfortunately, breaking contact with my sisters has meant not being able to communicate with my mother. But mom’s mind is gone at this point in any case, and overall I’m happier that I’m clear of the hideously unhealthy relationships with my sisters.”
He Admitted The Dark Truth To His Step-Sibling
“My stepbrother was probably the closest brother I have out of all of them (I have six). I’d go and bug my stepbrother at his job, we’d go on walks and hang out and he was always funny. He moved out for a year when I was still in high school, and I missed him terribly. I looked up to him. He was my best friend and I told him everything. We’d talk about life and he’d give me advice and stuff.
Then one day, I got a call from him, and he was crying, saying he ruined his relationship with his girlfriend. I asked what happened, and he confessed that he had been recording me changing. Something clicked into place and I remembered something that seemed weird when I was younger and realized he’d done it when I was in high school as well.
But I wasn’t disgusted. Everyone said I should hate him and not want anything to do with him. I was confused. And since I was used to being close to him and being somebody he talked to when he needed help, my first instinct was to comfort him. It’s hard to go from being somebody’s childhood best friend to being uncomfortable and mistrusting of them. It wasn’t until about a year later that it’s started to even sink in.
I’m not disgusted. I’m sad. I’m confused. I’m betrayed that my closest brother would do something like that and ruin a good relationship. And honestly, I still miss him. These days we barely talk. His girlfriend told me I should just forget about what happened and move on because they have. That I should just try talking to him like normal, that’s what she said after I confessed that I didn’t know what to say to him these days. But how can I forget when I can barely talk to my brother, and whenever I do, what he did to me is in the back of my mind?”
She Wanted To Live A Life So Separate From Her Family
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“My relationship with my sister truly died a week after my dad died.
I am to blame also because I was confrontational, and I would just yell out my feelings.
She always wanted to get out of our mom’s rule, she wanted to be her own person and do whatever she wanted. My mom and dad are disappointed in her, and even my dad stopped seeing her as a person and as a daughter, several years before he died.
I don’t have any good memories of her, and any prominent memories I had involved her beating me up either with her fists or an implement. Honestly, I wish I could beat her up to a bloody pulp, but all it does is slate my bloodlust and worsen a problem.
She moved away and lived life as if she had it made, she didn’t and always had to ask for help from my parents, once my dad had to give her my computer money just so she could fix her car. She also screwed up her documents and my dad had to spend his own money because she spent all of hers on clothes.
She is now leeching off of our aunt, and even though she has wonderful kids, she barely provides for them. She spends all her money on things she wants and borrows money to pay off bills and other debts.
If I ask her for help or support, she makes it hard for me to get it.
I once asked her to send me some pants, cheap ones from any store will do, she proceeds to ask for my sizes and preferences and I got nothing while other relatives got expensive clothes from brand name stores.
I get angry when someone mentions her, and I wish she didn’t exist.”
Seems Like Her Older Brother Didn’t Know How To Be Proud And Supportive
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“My brother is older than me by about five years. When I was a baby, he apparently played with me all the time. When I got older, he wanted nothing to do with me (what teenage boy would want to deal with their younger sister), so when I got to a teenager, I was like, ‘Fine, ignore me, I don’t care anymore,’ but of course, he now wanted his little sis. But you see, I wasn’t exactly up to his standard.
It seemed like every chance he got, he liked to call me stupid. And not just in the siblings being siblings way. From adult ‘conversations’ with him, he has it in his head that our mom pushed him to get A’s, while I was allowed to get B’s. What he doesn’t seem to understand is that he has a near photographic memory and him NOT trying hard got him A’s whereas me working my butt off, I was lucky to get a B in some classes. School was incredibly hard for me, whereas he skipped a grade. but he doesn’t see that. I just had it ‘easier.’ He later tells me that he was just being ‘hard on me’ because nobody else would. Total nonsense.
Then he insulted everything I enjoyed. ‘Why do you like X?’ ‘X is for kids, grow up.’ He’s put down anything that I thought was fun. He’d talk crap on my few hobbies. Tell me to get out of my ‘virtual world.’ There’s a lot of things I wanted to try as a kid, but my mom being a single mom could only do so much and my brother, of course, signed up for everything and asked permission later. So guess who was dragged around to everything of his. So I had to find things to do on my own while he went and had fun.
And then he insulted my looks. I still consider myself a tomboy. I’ve always been comfort over fashion. I hate dresses and skirts. I hate the idea of a purse. He always yelled at my mom that she was letting me stunt my growth. That she should be forcing me to wear more girly clothes and wear make up. He wanted me to dress more like a typical girl. Screw that, I think it looks dumb, makes me feel dumb, and I didn’t want to do it. I NEEDED to do it and my mom was just enabling me by not forcing me.
He ALWAYS came first. For example, my senior year of high school, I was in a club for the second year, and I was doing a competition that I felt great about, and was about to head to the state competition. I had a shot at nationals. He was planning on getting married and had two dates he was thinking about. My birthday weekend or the week after (the weekend of nationals). I didn’t care for my birthday and wanted to go to nationals. He said to my face that I wasn’t going to make the cut and he planned the wedding for that weekend. I got first in the state. And he made sure to say as much as he could to make me feel guilty af if I decided to go to nationals instead of his wedding. This is just the biggie that has stuck with me over the years, but basically, if there’s anything you want to plan, his plans will always be more important and screw you for thinking otherwise. But he never sees that.
When I got a great internship offer, he almost immediately started trying to put it down like it wasn’t that great. His wife shut him up.
I’m a shy person and don’t like doing much that pushes me into the spotlight. But I should be able to share with my family, right? But after years of verbal abuse from my brother, I don’t like telling him anything. I brought my first boyfriend home for Thanksgiving. He got mad because I didn’t tell him. He then started bringing up every little thing that I have done wrong and that my mom has done wrong. He felt insulted and wanted nothing more than to just storm off and drive home. His wife made him stay, but so much for a happy Thanksgiving. I tried to explain why I didn’t tell him, but nope, won’t see it from my point of view. We managed to get him to stay for dinner but he more or less said that he was never going over to my parents’ house again. He eventually called up my mom and said he would like to try and work on a relationship with her, but he might never talk to me again.”