We've all been on a bad date. These AskReddit users spare no mercy when they go into detail about some of their worst first date experiences. I guess that's just what happens when you choose to ignore the red flags and alarm bells that are going off. Talk about making a first and last impression.
(Comments have been edited for clarity.)
Against My Better Judgement
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“I took a woman out to dinner last night that I had met on Match. She was already showing signs of ‘crazy,’ but I tossed my better judgment aside and took her out anyway. All she did was judge people all night, talk about how she couldn’t hang out with people of a lower socioeconomic status, and then she told the waiter to get her whatever she wanted cause she wasn’t the one who was paying.”
We smoke a bit, went back to her place, and she invited me in. I was a little baked, so I figured I would just chill there for a bit. She then set the alarm as soon as we went inside, and I said out loud, ‘Looks like I can’t escape now.’
She giggled and then brought me upstairs. This was where things got interesting. We sat down to watch some T.V., and she put her hands down her pants and told me that her back was itchy and that she had to be naked for me to scratch it properly. She then proceeded to strip down naked and asked me to scratch her up and down. I gave in and scratched her 1) because there was a nude woman right in front of me and 2) I was too baked to drive.
After about 30 minutes of me scratching a naked woman’s back while still wearing all of my clothes, I politely asked to leave and promptly sped off praying that she wouldn’t follow me home.”
Punctuality Matters
“I made dinner plans for 9 PM at a busy restaurant near my house. At 8:45, I texted her saying how I was on my way and was wondering if I should grab a table for us? She said, ‘Yes, I’m near.’
9:15 pm: Nothing.
9:30 pm: Nothing
At 9:45 pm, she texted me saying that she was parking her car. By now, I felt totally awkward because everyone there had been looking at me drinking alone at a table for the last 45 minutes. By this point, the waiter hated me, and I felt bad for wasting a table on a busy Friday night.
At 10:15 pm, I got out of there because this person was definitely not worth my time.
At 10:20 pm, I got a call asking where I was. I told her that I had left already because she took too long and wasn’t honest with me. She told me that she didn’t have a car and didn’t leave until 9:30. I said that, well, next time you should let the person know so that they’re not waiting around for you. She yelled at me for being rude. I just laughed and hung up.”
Pretentious Personality
“I met a girl on POF once. She wasn’t super hot, but she did have a decent sense of humor and worked in the culinary industry just like I did. So, I wanted to meet her and see where things went.
I picked her up, and we went to back a local pub that she used to frequent. The first thing she did was start talking to all of the regulars there and ignoring me. Like she literally turned her back to me and wouldn’t include me in any of the conversations. I got a few more drinks in me, and I decided I wanted to order some food. She then started talking smack about the choices I was making but then went and ordered the SAME dish for herself later on.
It was always an endless banter about ‘As a cook, I’m like this,’ or ‘Somebody in the culinary industry is always like this,’ and ‘My boss is an up and coming star,’ blah blah blah blah. She was super pretentious, catty, and pretty much a diva. I mean she had only been cooking in the business for 3 months (as opposed to the 8 years which I had been).
I had never been so close to ditching somebody on a date as I was feeling with her. The worst part is, she actually had the balls to say, ‘Oh, I don’t kiss on first date’ as if she had any standards after manipulating and using the people around her. I never called her back after that.
Restaurant Nightmare
“Before I became a bartender at my job, I was a server. One particular Friday night, a guy came in at 7:15 for a 7:30 reservation for two.
He looked like he was in his mid-thirties. He was really nice and started talking about this being his first date with a girl whom he had met online. He kept on saying how she was really pretty, and how nervous he was because he wanted everything to be perfect. I got the table set up with their waters and menus.
He’s there… waiting… and waiting… and waiting. I checked on him to refill his water, offered him some appetizers, and made comments to try and lift his spirits. I told him stuff about how my girlfriend would never be on time, so his date was probably just running late or something. Finally, at about 8:30, she showed up and was dressed totally provocatively. She had a full face of thick makeup on, was wearing a low cut dress, and wreaking of cheap perfume.
I brought them their drinks and some appetizers. The whole time this lady wouldn’t shut up about what her ex-boyfriend was like, how much money he made, how amazing her new iPhone was, and just being plain stupid. I felt bad for the poor guy. She then started treating me terribly. She sent back three plates saying stuff like, ‘Cooking isn’t rocket science, or how she though a place like this would’ve had higher standards for who they hire.’ The guy just looked deflated and stared at the table.
They finally got through the main course (Her’s was the most expensive item on the menu at about $60). As I’m clearing the plates, I pick up her glass and spilled across her lap (accidentally). At this point, I didn’t even know if it was really just intentional or my subconscious saying, ‘Bleep her!’
She bolted off the seat and stormed off to the washroom while screaming, ‘Really?’
I ran to the side station to drop off the plates and came back with a towel while still apologizing profusely. The guy was just standing by the table this whole time. He handed me a wad of cash and said, ‘Tell her I received an emergency phone call.’
She came back, asked where he had gone, and I told her that he had left.
‘Did he say anything?’
‘Yeah.’
‘What did he say?’
‘I’m sorry, but if I were to repeat what he called you, I would be fired.”
She left. Their bill came to $130. The wad of cash he gave me was for $200.
Judgemental Prick
“I went to dinner with a guy. First, he picked me up and said, ‘You don’t weigh 115. You have to be at least 125!’ I assure you, I’m 115. Second, he told me what to order. ‘You can have a cup of soup or a side salad.’ While he ordered a burger with fries. Third, he asked for my arm, so I gave it to him. He then told me to relax as he jiggled my ‘arm fat’ around and proceeded to say, ‘You’ll do. I usually like them taller and more in shape.’
First of all, I was in good shape. I’m not a bodybuilder, but at the time, I was doing cross fit AND training horses. I was just fine at 5’0 and 115. Second, he wasn’t in amazing shape at all. He was 6’4, and I couldn’t even guess his weight. He had a potbelly started!
Sometimes, I just can’t believe guys and their ‘ways.’ I just wanted a normal guy who enjoyed working out but also eating ice cream on a snow day. It’s not hard guys!
Eventually, he asked if we could have separate checks. Me being me, I looked him dead in the eye and then at the waitress and said, “No, he will be paying for my side salad.’ I got up and left. The only reason that I stayed is because it was my best friends fiancee’s best friend. Otherwise, I would have left after the weight comment.
He still calls me to this day and says that he is sorry and stuff like that. I don’t answer. Sometimes I just laugh and wonder how he sleeps at night! He thinks I am totally in the wrong for not being happy about how I was treated.
Dark Past
“I was out with some friends on a Saturday. We weren’t doing anything special just sitting at the bar and drinking. A group of girls walked into the bar and sat right at the table behind us. There were no waitresses. So, the three of them walked up to the bar, alongside us, and ordered some shots. Apparently, it was one girl’s birthday. For the heck of it, I told the bartender to put their drinks on my tab and just said, ‘Happy Birthday.’ And that was that.
About an hour later, one of the girls came up to us and said that they were leaving and thanked us for the drinks. I asked her for her name and number and offered to take her out to dinner sometime. She gave me her name and number, smiled, and left. Later on that night, I sent her a text letting her know that it was nice to meet her and that I looked forward to seeing her again.
The next morning (Sunday), I was sitting on my couch when I got a text from her which said something along the lines of: ‘It was nice meeting you, too. I’ll be in your neighborhood tonight if you want to grab a drink.’ I didn’t have any plans, so I said, ‘Sure.’
I’d never done this before, but something got the best of me. I did some serious Google-stalking based on the little bit of information that I had on her (her unique name, college, phone number). Somehow, I figured out her full name and a more formal search resulted in the following results (in order): her current MySpace page (this took place in late 2012), a mugshot from a drinking and driving charge, a mugshot from an assault, a mugshot from a another drinking and driving charge, and an article about how she and her dad had beaten some kid up (seemingly, very seriously) for getting her little sister pregnant and went to prison to serve the time.
I still went out with her. We had nothing to talk about and then went home.
OkCupid Is A Human Wasteland
“So, I met a guy on OkCupid. Before the date, he called me 4 times to make sure that we were still on before he could ask me for a ride as well. He then gave me the worst possible directions to his terrible apartment. He got into my car, and the smelled of the Axe perfume that he was wearing hit me like a rancid tsunami wave.
My eyes were burning. He was wearing skinny jeans and a shirt that was so tight it was only buttoned till halfway. I realized quickly his pictures were photoshopped by a master. We drove for 2 MINUTES before reaching the restaurant. We sat down, and he immediately chugged a drink and a whole bottle of sake while spilling it all over the table. He didn’t accept the fact that I didn’t drink and began to complain that there were no jobs here that were up to his pay grade because he used to work at the apple store and I quote: ‘… The biggest Apple store ever. I saw SO many celebrities. Maybe you’ve heard of them?’ I wanted to bash my head against the table so that I could at least go to the hospital instead.
Then, he explained to me what sushi is. ‘It’s, like, fish. It’s Japanese. Do you want some sake?’ Then, he started telling me about how his mom died as I was trying to eat an egg roll because it was both an appetizing and appropriate introductory meeting conversation. He went on about his mom and weaved the Apple Store back into the conversation and drank another bottle of sake as the waitress shot him some epic side-eye. He told me about his degree in sound editing and complained that he couldn’t find a job. The smell of Axe was still killing me, my food tasted like body spray and sadness, and I just wanted to leave.
The sushi finally arrived, and as I was eating, he started asking me what I was going to be doing for the remainder of the night. I casually said that I was going to a friend’s house because ‘Game of Thrones’ was on. This was the wrong answer to give.
He started tearing up. ‘But, I thought we could go back to my place and spend the night together. I….I….’
He began to turn red. ‘I PLANNED MY WHOLE DAY AROUND YOU! Why would you have plans? When I have a date I clear MY WHOLE DAY just in case! I PLANNED my WHOLE DAY around YOU!’
I had it. If this were an episode of ‘Basketball Wives,’ I would’ve been taking off my earrings and shoes and climbing across the table. I stayed calm and said, ‘I’ve had these plans for a while, and we only made plans for dinner.’
Then, I told him that I couldn’t read his mind, and he sighed plaintively and said, ‘I guess you can’t.’
He then decided to try a different tactic realizing that he hadn’t asked me a single question about myself the whole night. He decided to do this by saying, ‘Tell me something about yourself that I don’t already know. Tell me now.’ Without thinking and without warning, what comes out of my mouth is, ‘Well, my mom’s alive.’ (nervous laugh)
After another hour of having to hear about the Apple store, witnessing his increasing drunkenness, smelling his atrocious body spray, I finally got him into the car.
On our way back to his apartment, he made me stop at the store so he could do his grocery shopping. I didn’t even care at this point, I just wanted him out, so we PRAISE JESUS FINALLY arrived at his apartment. He got out, turned to me, and said, ‘Promise me that you’ll text me later. Please, just promise me that.’
I sat there silently until he closed the door. Then, I rested my head on my steering wheel and yelled, ‘THANK GOD… IT’S OVER’ and looked up to see him staring at me from outside of my car window. I drove off and never saw him again.
Gold Digger
“I took her to a really nice place for dinner. The kind of place where rich people go to eat. Being broke, I could hardly afford it, but I did it because I really liked her. We ate while she did nothing but complain about the service. We left after she finished eating and had complained at least 45 times that her food wasn’t properly prepared.
We went back to my place afterward, and she saw how I lived in a tiny house and told me (and I quote), ‘I thought you were rich… take me home now. I can’t see you anymore.’ I was so devastated because I had actually thought that she liked me.
Turns out, she was just a gold digger.”
That Smell
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“I met this guy online. We talked for a couple of days, and he seemed decent. I had a bad day at work, and he told me he was taking me to dinner to cheer me up. So, I was like (in my head) ‘Okay, cool. That’s nice of him.’
I found out he didn’t have a car. Now, that wasn’t a deal breaker or anything, however, it was a little annoying. Anway, I went to pick him up. I got there, and he looked like a homeless guy. His clothes were too big, and he just looked like a mess. And then, he got into the car.
Oh my god, the smell. He seriously smelled like he hadn’t showered in weeks. I could also smell his nasty shoes. It made me wonder if he had ever worn socks before, or if his feet were just that gross. I’m not normally a very shallow person, and I don’t get caught up in looks and clothing, but how do you go on a first date and not shower or wear clean clothes?! Like, seriously.
The rest of the date was miserable. He kept on telling me how professional ‘League of Legends’ teams were recruiting him (I played with him a couple times, and he was a silver league at best). He also told me that he was going into the NFL straight out of college but that he took too long to decide which team’s offer to accept and before he could finally decide, he blew his knee out during a game and that ruined his chances.
Pure winner, this guy was. He texted me after our date and told me that he had a great time and asked me what I thought. I wasn’t about to waste my time or his. I told him that I just didn’t feel any kind of a connection with him that went beyond a friendship.
Knocked Out
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“I used to work in the stockroom of a retail store in college. One day, a new girl started working back there with me. She was attractive, and to my delight, was flirty and seemed interested in me. I was working up the courage to ask her out when one day she was beckoned onto the sales floor and returned with a boxed lunch and a rose. ‘Oh, no,’ I thought and figured my options were gone.
Time went on, and she continued to be flirty with me, however, I never thought anything of it because I figured she had a boyfriend.
Fast forward a few weeks, and we were talking when she up and asked me out. I thought it was a bit weird, but as I was finally getting away from me being that nerdy, awkward, and shy person that I had always been all through high school, I was just too desperate to have a pretty girl give me any kind of attention for the alarm bells to really be going off.
So, we arranged the date and went to a local bar for a dollar-pint night (this was her suggestion… I swear I’m not that cheap). We hit the ground running and just proceed to get blasted. We were hitting it off well, and things were going better than I could’ve hoped for. I even brought up the whole lunch/rose delivery at work a few weeks ago. To which, she just responded with, ‘Oh yeah, we aren’t together anymore.’ Again, I wasn’t trying to think about it too much as I was still blinded by the fact that this girl was even giving me so much attention.
We shut the place down and walked out of the bar. She invited me back to her car which I promptly accepted knowing that there was no chance either one of us was going to actually drive anywhere. As soon as the car doors closed, we went on each other. I felt like this one drunken makeout was at least one of the greatest things to happen to me. I was totally flying high and feeling great. It was like something had finally started to click on how to socialize correctly.
Right as I had hit this emotional peak was obviously when things started to go downhill. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of this guy parked in the next car over just mean mugging the everloving smack out of us. Too emotionally inept to appreciate the gravity of what was happening, I tried to make a joke about it to her.
Her response, ‘Oh, that’s my boyfriend.’ My perception was a little clouded, but I seemed to remember her saying it in a very matter-of-fact way. He started screaming to get out of the car, and we both did. Luckily, the boyfriend pretty much ignored me and went straight for her. He was screaming and yelling. It seemed like just words for a while, but at one point, I thought I saw his hand on her. So, I went up to both of them in what I assume must’ve been my attempt to break things up.
That was when the lights officially went out. At some point, after I had approached them, I had, apparently, raised my fist, and he then proceeded to hit me first. I fell back and hit my head on the pavement. I woke up in the hospital and was greeted by a police officer asking me how I was feeling to which I just shouted, ‘I got knocked out.’
That was also the point when I realized that, at some point, I had pissed myself while I was knocked out. Great.”
Don’t Judge A Book By Its Cover
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“I’m all for ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover. ‘However, this one time, I met a girl online through a mutual friend, and we decided to meet at a movie theater for our first ‘date.’ We both brought a friend along to make it an impromptu double date. As I was on my way, she called and said that they had just pulled up and were waiting in front of the theater.
As we pulled into the parking lot, we saw these two girls standing out front, but let’s just say, the goods were not ‘delivered’ as advertised. I could barely recognize the girl who I was there to see’s face from the pictures on her profile. She had gained about a person’s worth of weight since the most recent one. She was a volleyball player in high school and was in excellent shape all around, so I really couldn’t wrap my head around it being the same person.
IT WAS A TRAP!!
They didn’t know what car I drove. I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t being mistaken, so I parked towards the back of the lot and called her from my friend’s cell phone. Sure enough, the girl standing out front answered her phone. My buddy and I drive a few miles down the street to our favorite bar, and we didn’t even feel the least bit of shame.”